Today's jokes

[terraj]

1. Now on sale at IKEA…..LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

2. A Muslim athlete has been fatally wounded with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.

3. Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin 's swimming pool has announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.


Your welcome

[xelnaga]

Fail. Lol.

[Sailor Moon]

yikes.

[Sailor Moon]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

[zaggahamma]

lolz


An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says,'Touchdown, tie score....'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
'Touchdown, tie score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard..
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides

[Armykid93]

Bahahahahahahah this is awesome

[Sailor Moon]

lol!! That one was great!!! We need more!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Mega-saur-ass

What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
She has her tampon behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.