Whats the greatest Sex compliment youve gotten

[cherrydrpepper]

So we're all badasses with huge egos of course... look at the website i mean comon.. Whats the best compliment youve ever gotten or some of them. I've gotten multiple ones that should be in the HOF books but this is one of my favorites cause its just so damn funny (sorry I hope this is fresh I can't remember if this made it into my gonna get laid thread):

I meet this girl at a bar. Im lonely and feeling like a loser and haven't been laid in a couple years. Im tan and juiced and a lady's man friend has been showing me the ropes. This girl just starts talking to me at the bar. Big tits, muffin top, busted grill but whatever. Smoker breath like a chimney. She starts rubbing up on me. We shoot pool. She tells me flat out she wants me to take her home and f- her. I tell her straight up i been beating my dik like it owes me money so im not sure id be worth much (yeah I was kind of a loser when this happened). Shes like don't worry about it you will do great.

We go back to my house. Use my classic line "so.. we have a pool if you wanna go swimming".. "I don't have a swim suit" she says. "You won't need one" I reply. We get in and strip. Lots of fun. Get out. I start chugging this bottle of Absinthe I had laying around cause im nervous. Its been a while since I had a one night stand.

We get out of the pool and move to the bed. Girl has the nicest rack not kidding. Jiggly full boobs. Im drunk by now. She starts riding me like a cowgirl moaning and yelling "oh my god that big cock I love it". (I wear magnums not to toot my own horn.. ok I will toot my own horn). So this girl is riding me like crazy and I feel something wet. After a while of this its really wet. She starts apologizing. Turns out this girl is a squirter. I have never f- a squirter before - THIS IS AWESOME. She keeps riding me like crazy it feels like forever. Im guessing an hour but in drunk time who tf knows. She just keeps riding me forever. Its kind of hot and kind of the worst drunken sex ive had in a while to be honest. A couple of times my dik bends like 90 degrees practically and im like this b is gonna break my cock. I have her get off me. The bed feels like someone took a bucket of water and just poured it all over the god damn bed I mean it is soaked like r kelly just pissed all over it. Ive never f-d a squirter before that and if you haven't you will have no idea what im talking about but Im serious the bed was ****ing soaked like a tsunami came through. So I get my drunken ass up and put it in her doggy style and start going to town banging her hard. Shes moaning and its great and after my drunken ness and no cardio self catches up to me I stop and we relax. The bed is so soaked its to the point of being uncomfortable like I don't even want to sleep on this thing tonight. We get up. I ask her how it was. Thats when I get my compliment for the worst drunken sex of my life

"you've got a big dik and I came 10 times"

LOLLLL

[Armykid93]

The most ive made my wife cum is 4 times in like 20 minutes. That tight haha, good compliment for me

[DCI]

No one likes a bragger

[cherrydrpepper]

No one likes a bragger

u want some mustard to go with that cocktail weenie

[DCI]

I never said anything about me at all. I'm just amazed you pulled a women with all the threads you have been posting asking for advice. I was amazed when you saw her gap that you didn't go ohh dear jesus hun, you have a nasty cut there I better get you a band aid for that.

[Coolhand5599]

When your inside me I feel nothing

[slfmade]

"It won't fit"..."It hurts" Just sayin.....




A cyber dollar to anyone that can name this movie----->"Wrong Hole Bitch"

[Macon_Bacon]

"It won't fit"..."It hurts" Just sayin.....

A cyber dollar to anyone that can name this movie----->"Wrong Hole Bitch"

Don't be a menace while drinking your juice in the hood.

[slfmade]

Don't be a menace while drinking your juice in the hood.

For being so Fast you get ONE HUNDRED CYBER DOLLARS!!!!!


one-hundred-100-dollar-bill by slfmade, on Flickr

[SexySweetheart]

------

[xelnaga]

"I don't normally sleep with men I'm not attracted to"

[amcon]

wow your wife is hott .... lol thanks

[lovbyts]

When I was 23 or 24 I went out with a girl who was Bi but mostly stuck to girl. I was friends with a friend of hers; roommate but not into other girls, only a roommate. She was a self proclaimed bad girl and after hearing from her roommate and a couple other girls what a NICE guy I was she decided she wanted to have some fun. After I had given her a ride somewhere and back to her apartment she told me i was not going home that night and she was going to have some fun, educate me and teach me a few things. I was like. Ohhh OK

After about 2 hrs into our evening I asked her when she was going to start teaching me. She said FVCK you, if you knew any more you would kill me. LOL That wasn't the good part, later that evening when I was having some oral fun in-between her catching her breath I asked how I was doing. She said; take this a a complement, you are as good as any woman I have ever been with and better than most.

We continued to date/friends with benefits for almost 6 months until I meet someone else I wanted date more exclusive. no drama only good fun.

[tcw]

Nice !

When I was 23 or 24 I went out with a girl who was Bi but mostly stuck to girl. I was friends with a friend of hers; roommate but not into other girls, only a roommate. She was a self proclaimed bad girl and after hearing from her roommate and a couple other girls what a NICE guy I was she decided she wanted to have some fun. After I had given her a ride somewhere and back to her apartment she told me i was not going home that night and she was going to have some fun, educate me and teach me a few things. I was like. Ohhh OK

After about 2 hrs into our evening I asked her when she was going to start teaching me. She said FVCK you, if you knew any more you would kill me. LOL That wasn't the good part, later that evening when I was having some oral fun in-between her catching her breath I asked how I was doing. She said; take this a a complement, you are as good as any woman I have ever been with and better than most.

We continued to date/friends with benefits for almost 6 months until I meet someone else I wanted date more exclusive. no drama only good fun.

[DSM4Life]

Was told my @$$ taste like strawberries dipped in chocolate.

[Times Roman]

I've had several huge compliments over the years. doesn't matter what it was, it probably wasnt' true.

i get more compliments how i treat the lady than any particular "sex" thing

[jimmyinkedup]

I met this chick - . Big tits, muffin top, busted grill . All she could keep saying was how much better I was than the loser that told her how much he wacked off. She said she even pissed on him the whole time to try to get him to stop but the guy was so inept when it came to sex he thought she was a female ejaculator!

*LOL*

[Times Roman]

I met this chick - . Big tits, muffin top, busted grill . All she could keep saying was how much better I was than the loser that told her how much he wacked off. She said she even pissed on him the whole time to try to get him to stop but the guy was so inept when it came to sex he thought she was a female ejaculator!

*LOL*

now THIS is some funny shit!!!! =)

[jasc]

I met this chick - . Big tits, muffin top, busted grill . All she could keep saying was how much better I was than the loser that told her how much he wacked off. She said she even pissed on him the whole time to try to get him to stop but the guy was so inept when it came to sex he thought she was a female ejaculator!

*LOL*

lol best post I've read in a while..

[DeadlyD]

i met this chick - . Big tits, muffin top, busted grill . All she could keep saying was how much better i was than the loser that told her how much he wacked off. She said she even pissed on him the whole time to try to get him to stop but the guy was so inept when it came to sex he thought she was a female ejaculator!

*lol*

lmfao !!!!

[DeadlyD]

Best one I've got was..."your so much bigger then my husband!".

[lovbyts]

Wow, your bigger than my brother and the same as my dad.
But my uncle is huge.

A young redneck boy runs into his house and yells “Paw, I found’er! I found da girl I’ms gonna marry, and she’s even a virgin!”

The father starts pounding his fist on the table and yells back “There ain’t no way you’ll marry that that thar girl! If she ain’t good enough for her own family, she sure’s hell ain’t good enough fer ours!”

[Times Roman]

^ didn't know you were versed in Red Neck Humor?

[jasc]

"You're the best I've ever had"

It makes you feel great until you give your buddies sh*t for outperforming them and 2 of your buddies start laughing because she told both of them the exact same thing a few weeks before.. lol

[Dukkit]

Made a girl pass out from too many orgasms.

Oh and made a girl leave her black b/f. Cuz you know "once you go white, you know its aight!"

[Shol'va]

I wish my wife could blow me like you do....

[bikeral]

Does this thread include compliments from hookers?

[gixxerboy1]

thanks. i left you a tip on the nightstand

[Spears88]

Does this thread include compliments from hookers?

Lol you can get the best compliments from hookers because you pay for them lmfao

[Spears88]

Does this thread include compliments from hookers?

Compliment from a hooker I should of paid you lol

[BigBadWolf]

For being so Fast you get ONE HUNDRED CYBER DOLLARS!!!!!


one-hundred-100-dollar-bill by slfmade, on Flickr

Actually it was "wrong hole fool!"
Just sayin

[TRT2010]

Just last weekend my friend was on her rag so i couldnt do anything right? WRONG!! I just took off her shirt and started to lick on her belly button and twist on her nipples. Only took about 3 minutes before she fell to the floor shaking. So like a gentelman I ick her back up and start doing it again. She falls back to the ground and this time she didnt wanna get up. I look down at her and she is soaken wet. She looks up at me and says " I didnt think that could happen!" " How the hell did you do it?" LOL.. Then we went to bed in seperate rooms lol

[cherrydrpepper]

I met this chick - . Big tits, muffin top, busted grill . All she could keep saying was how much better I was than the loser that told her how much he wacked off. She said she even pissed on him the whole time to try to get him to stop but the guy was so inept when it came to sex he thought she was a female ejaculator!

*LOL*

F you I roll a 1d20 and hit a 20 and nail you to the tree of woe

[BigBadWolf]

Just last weekend my friend was on her rag so i couldnt do anything right? WRONG!! I just took off her shirt and started to lick on her belly button and twist on her nipples. Only took about 3 minutes before she fell to the floor shaking. So like a gentelman I ick her back up and start doing it again. She falls back to the ground and this time she didnt wanna get up. I look down at her and she is soaken wet. She looks up at me and says " I didnt think that could happen!" " How the hell did you do it?" LOL.. Then we went to bed in seperate rooms lol

This is the weirdest shit I've ever read maybe anywhere. You licked her belly and gave her tittytwisters and she fell to the floor in a twitching orgasim? Like a gentleman

[nikalexopoulos]

This is the weirdest shit I've ever read maybe anywhere. You licked her belly and gave her tittytwisters and she fell to the floor in a twitching orgasim? Like a gentleman

Yea X 2. Thats some fvckin weird shvt.

[BigBadWolf]

Yea X 2. Thats some fvckin weird shvt.

It sounds like something a third grader would tell one of his buddies he did to his babysitter. Lol

[BigBadWolf]

It's not the smallest I've seen.
JK

[slfmade]

Actually it was "wrong hole fool!"
Just sayin

Thanks cigarette...I mean Ashtray

[BigBadWolf]

Thanks cigarette...I mean Ashtray

What you say about my mamma!!!

[slfmade]

I said I don't want her cheeseburgers man!!!