Should I break up with her

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:02 AM

Originally Posted by TheClinch

My intuition says its a payback, eye for an eye. In my opinion, if she is, in fact, like this(not saying 100% she is) then I wouldn't be able to move on trusting her. To me its a tell that she can be vindictive or manipulative. Bad agents in the chemistry of a relationship.
I'm a little sour though brother sorry...

But the thing is I was there!!! I said I might not able to because of the situation. But I did show up.

**SexySweetheart** · 01-25-2012, 01:02 AM

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**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:04 AM

Originally Posted by Razr.

But the thing is I was there!!! I said I might not able to because of the situation. But I did show up.

Being there is not the important part to some women. The idea that you said you might be there, then possibly had a change of heart etc is enough to irritate a girl.

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:16 AM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

hate to be the one to say it, but...5weeks, how often are so seeing her?... like are you exclusive? ...is she dating other guys? ...have you made it clear that your only dating her?
she may be keeping you at a distance delibratly if her feelings were hurt by something you said while she was morning over her dog so early in the relationship...

...and i dont think its fair to hold the amount of money you spend on her/dates as a form of whats expected of her. It was your decidion to spend money, no one forced you too and Im sure your expectations of her were not said to her ~ should she choose to accept you choosing to spend money on her.

alllll girls get bored in relationships that become predictable, if they tell you other wise they are full a crap and just saying what they think will make you happy. Not that its your job to make things fun and different (she should own that too) find out what her idea of fun is maybe and invite her to make plans for you guys to go out.

feel it out/ talk it out / before cashing out

Ok we have been excusive for 5 weeks. Not seeing anyone else.

**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:18 AM

You know, let this little hiccup blow over and just return to getting to know her. If she shows a lack of interest again, then have this conversation right?

**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:19 AM

all the best Razr

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:20 AM

Originally Posted by TheClinch

You know, let this little hiccup blow over and just return to getting to know her. If she shows a lack of interest again, then have this conversation right?

Will do

Originally Posted by TheClinch

all the best Razr

Thanks brother

**SexySweetheart** · 01-25-2012, 01:21 AM

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**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:24 AM

Can we not go there in this thread. Im sure she meant no ill will

**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:25 AM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

^WHAT?! seriously BJ?
gals taking a stand to have their voices heard so they can vote...you mean that women’s movement? lmao wow, chicka can you imagine your life today in the USA without that? hell we still can’t seem to get a women president in office to this day...and that’s WITH a women’s movement lol how different today would look for you and I if we didn’t have other women putting it all on line for us all to enjoy the life we do today. Minimizing that while enjoying the effects of =uncool
for 1 you sure as h3ll prob wouldn’t be allowed on this site lol and if you were, your options and your man would be blasted for allowing you to bulk up

there were strong chicks before this day in every country for as long as there have been strong men...lady pharos, queens, high priestess before catholisum, and slave freedom trail runners, revolution spies... where have always been, we just get to have the same rites and can be as open about our lives as men without being prosecuted today. b1tches also have been around since the dawn of time...having the same rights and opportunism as men does not make someone cruel or a bitch/bustard. There are b1thches cheaters in under developed countries that treat their women as slaves and property EVEN with the threat on being stoned alive or genital mutilation for stepping out of line with their man’s wishes.

Real talk! Very nice Sexy

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:26 AM

I guess her and I are the same, she wont let that go and I am prolly not going to let this go. In the end it will ruin us.

**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by Razr.

I guess her and I are the same, she wont let that go and I am prolly not going to let this go. In the end it will ruin us.

Mmm, you know her better than we do. Early on in a relationship those things can put out the flame. You don't live in that town with the one girl do you?

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:35 AM

Originally Posted by TheClinch

Mmm, you know her better than we do. Early on in a relationship those things can put out the flame. You don't live in that town with the one girl do you?

Haha no, there is plenty of girls, but its hard to find any decent ones.

**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:39 AM

Originally Posted by Razr.

Haha no, there is plenty of girls, but its hard to find any decent ones.

Aint that the ****in' truth.

You will though and when you do you'll really appreciate her. Just don't forget to double check under your nose right now. It might be her and you might be writing off a damn fine woman who just a little peeved with you right now.

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:43 AM

Originally Posted by TheClinch

Aint that the ****in' truth.

You will though and when you do you'll really appreciate her. Just don't forget to double check under your nose right now. It might be her and you might be writing off a damn fine woman who just a little peeved with you right now.

Shouldn't I be pissed at her though, I went under the knife. We already went over the drama with the dog, I apologized. Bought her a phone, she said I was out of the dog house, and then I took her out of town. I should have been in the clear already.

**SexySweetheart** · 01-25-2012, 01:43 AM

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**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:47 AM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

you’re already in a space where you’re looking at the relationship from new perspectives and taking partial owner ship in the possibility that you had a role in the breakdown...

as a chix I can say that I for one have been burned enough to know that no one is worth my time or emotional investment if I don’t feel I get the same in return...I have no need for anyone to complete who I am and no use for emotional leaches lol if I feel I’m putting in more than I get in return I will tell that person... maybe she feels similar but cant vocalize it? or that you would go on the defense rather than understanding where her feeling are coming from so she isn’t telling you? maybe her family is insanely tight and she still see's you as an outsider? and 1 month is a fairly short time, you could def. turn it around if she is still considering moving forward.

maybe a talk face to face telling her how disappointed and hurt you were that she appeared to not worry or take time to see that you were ok or visit to care for you...that you really were looking forward to the girl you care for, showing you affection after your going through something that was painful and dangerous

Spoken with true wisdom..thank you!
Her family really likes me, and I went to all the holiday parties and the mom loves me.
If I started the breakdown by me saying "I might not be able to make it" and then still coming, then she is just immature.
I will talk to her and see what happens. but I don't see her changing, but I will tell her how I am feeling.

**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:47 AM

Being angry wont help jack squat! That's years of marriage talkin brother. Sexy is right if it means that much to you the talk to her about it. Anger is the wrong reaction here, seems more like you just want to know where her head is at so go find out.

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 01:50 AM

Originally Posted by TheClinch

Being angry wont help jack squat! That's years of marriage talkin brother. Sexy is right if it means that much to you the talk to her about it. Anger is the wrong reaction here, seems more like you just want to know where her head is at so go find out.

Your right again, I do want to see where her head is at. I need to talk to her

**slfmade** · 01-25-2012, 01:51 AM

Originally Posted by TheClinch

Aint that the ****in' truth.

You will though and when you do you'll really appreciate her. Just don't forget to double check under your nose right now. It might be her and you might be writing off a damn fine woman who just a little peeved with you right now.

That's still no excuse!!!! She's a 30yr old grown woman! Can you imagine the shit she would be sayin if the roles were reversed and she had surgery and he didn't call????

And Sexy4...Razr ask to keep it out of this thread so I'll just say this. Browngirl has no problem with the actual womens movement itself. It was much needed. It was the sense of entitlement that followed it due to many women taking advantage of it. She's asleep and can't defend herself right now so I thought I would throw that out there.

**SexySweetheart** · 01-25-2012, 01:53 AM

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**TheClinch** · 01-25-2012, 01:57 AM

Originally Posted by slfmade

That's still no excuse!!!! She's a 30yr old grown woman! Can you imagine the shit she would be sayin if the roles were reversed and she had surgery and he didn't call????

And Sexy4...Razr ask to keep it out of this thread so I'll just say this. Browngirl has no problem with the actual womens movement itself. It was much needed. It was the sense of entitlement that followed it due to many women taking advantage of it. She's asleep and can't defend herself right now so I thought I would throw that out there.

Role reversal plays no part in this. Your comparing apples and oranges. I'm just giving Razr perspective based on my life experiences so he can make a more balanced decision. The choice is ultimately his. He does seem inherently forgiving anyhow. No point in taking a bazooka to the skeet shoot.

**SexySweetheart** · 01-25-2012, 02:02 AM

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**slfmade** · 01-25-2012, 02:04 AM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

you’re already in a space where you’re looking at the relationship from new perspectives and taking partial owner ship in the possibility that you had a role in the breakdown...

So let me get this straight he should take partial responsibility for what????? He didn't think he had the means to make the dog thing....he just didn't think it was possible. He went above and beyond to do whatever he could and go anyway. She's then gets pissed because he initially said he wasn't sure he could make it. Then she tries to get back at him by not calling him after SURGERY!!!!???? REALLY????? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.

Yeah Razr, go ahead and castrate yourself right now and just give her your balls because if you give in and take responsibility for something you had NO control over....you're gonna be her little B*tch until she finally decides to leave you, but ONLY after she uses you up. She needs to grow the fvck up!!!!.

See Bolds.

**SexySweetheart** · 01-25-2012, 02:11 AM

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**slfmade** · 01-25-2012, 02:17 AM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

ummm I don’t see the difference, women’s movement is all about a form of entitlement...lol we are humans without penis that are entitled to everything humans with penises are, including voting, hence the movement. pretty sure entitlement in some form is expected by all people that don’t see themselves as lessor human beings.
example I am entitled to be treated like a queen, just as my honey is entitled to be treated like a king...not MY king, but a king lol. I am entitled to be in a pissy mood when I’m unhappy just as my man is entitled to also be grumpy when he is (or when he’s on test shheeeesh those days can svck)

It's an "over" sense of entitlement that I'm talking about. If the world were a perfect place both couples would be created equal, but with most couple that I know the woman runs the show. She can yell and b-tch all she wants, but when the man takes a stand there's hell to pay. I see so many guys get yelled at by their woman for both justfied an unjustified reasons and the man just put his head down and takes it like a small child being scolded. Women will scream and yell, but if a man screamed at a woman he's a horrible person.

To sum it up...I'm not saying women don't deserve respect, but since the womens movement they don't treat their men with respect. Sexy4 you may be different, but from my experience with friends and family this is how it is.

**SexySweetheart** · 01-25-2012, 02:21 AM

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**slfmade** · 01-25-2012, 02:25 AM

Razr doesn't wear cologne. It must be his musk...lol j/k

**Razor** · 01-25-2012, 02:35 AM

Originally Posted by slfmade

See Bolds.

Word. So much for the games being over with...they never are.
I don't wear cologne, Im fresh to death

Sexy, I am really unsure why she is acting to distant.
After all she is the one who said she wanted to be my gf.
im a nice guy, even in relationships, that's a bad thing.
I guess I will go back to being a dick once in a while to keep things interesting.
Only time will tell if this is gonna work btw us. I'll either let this go and wait for the next thing
and drop it all at once or just bring it up now and sort it out and let the chips fall where they may.
Im only 29, still have a whole life to live. I don't need a girl that does not appreciate me.

**slfmade** · 01-25-2012, 02:41 AM

Well it's by bedtime. Let us know how it goes.

**moseley2004** · 01-25-2012, 02:53 AM

Flick her!!!!! Don't even think twice

**moseley2004** · 01-25-2012, 02:55 AM

Originally Posted by Razr.

Ok so what do I do?

Flick her!!!!!!!!!

**DSM4Life** · 01-25-2012, 05:47 AM

First i need to get something important out of the way: Haz you need to put back an avatar of yourself. The least amount of cloths the better.

**spywizard** · 01-25-2012, 06:21 AM

Originally Posted by Razr.

Whats ****ed up is before I started doing all that romantic shit, she was like we need to have more fun in our relationship...but she does want to go to bars, she is a homebody and always wants to be at home taking care of her dogs. I'm fine with that Ill go out with my friends, but then don't come and complain to me when your bored and want more fun. So i bought her that phone "late christmas gift" and took her out of town. But I will do what you said first and put my foot down.

baggage.. she's got way too much of it..
and there are way too many women in the world that are less trouble..

"love needs to be worked at, but love shouldn't be soo much work.. "

get it??

**Noles12** · 01-25-2012, 06:34 AM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

^WHAT?! seriously BJ?
gals taking a stand to have their voices heard so they can vote...you mean that women’s movement? lmao wow, chicka can you imagine your life today in the USA without that? hell we still can’t seem to get a women president in office to this day...and that’s WITH a women’s movement lol how different today would look for you and I if we didn’t have other women putting it all on line for us all to enjoy the life we do today. Minimizing that while enjoying the effects of =uncool
for 1 you sure as h3ll prob wouldn’t be allowed on this site lol and if you were, your options and your man would be blasted for allowing you to bulk up

there were strong chicks before this day in every country for as long as there have been strong men...lady pharos, queens, high priestess before catholisum, and slave freedom trail runners, revolution spies... where have always been, we just get to have the same rites and can be as open about our lives as men without being prosecuted today. b1tches also have been around since the dawn of time...having the same rights and opportunism as men does not make someone cruel or a bitch/bustard. There are b1thches cheaters in under developed countries that treat their women as slaves and property EVEN with the threat on being stoned alive or genital mutilation for stepping out of line with their man’s wishes.

Im not trying to hijack the thread but i have to say that a woman not being in office has a lot more to do with the fact that there has not been a great potential female candidate that has stayed in the race rather than their actual gender

**juice box** · 01-25-2012, 07:44 AM

Tell you right now she is cheating on you for sure ..How much to you care about her is the question ? A lot of things you can do if you are thinking about breaking up anyway find another girl 1st and keep banging this girl . If you like her get her phone and gps her ass without her knowing you will no where she is . And can go see what see is doing you no ! But for real bro she is seeing some dude she cant talk on phone WHY BECAUSE SOME LITTLE DUDE IS RIGHT NEXT TO HER !

**Kawigirl** · 01-25-2012, 08:41 AM

I'm sorry...Razr. But as a woman...inexcusable that she didn't call you after your surgery. I would be quiet concerned if anyone close to me was going under for anything! So no call...and she was "eating with family". I'm sure her family would have been understanding to at least make a friggen quick call to her bf to ensure he was ok!

No real sympathy...no real concern...no genuine respect.

You have every right to be on the fence with this. If this is how she is now...will she have your back down the road when bigger sh*t hits the fan?

Just my 2cents

**jasc** · 01-25-2012, 08:46 AM

I have to agree with juice. When I first read your post my immediate thought was infidelity. She's out to dinner with her "family" and she can't even call you on her way home? What's the logical reason she can't call? Because someone else is in the car who can't hear the phone call. No disrespect intended bro. You know her better than we do so you have to feel it out, but proceed with caution.

You obviously tried hard to make the appt. and when u said u might not make it, I could see why she may be upset. BUT, you DID make it, you put in the extra effort to be there for her. She should be that much more happy!

She couldn't even make it to your surgery or even pick up a phone? no excuse for that.

Watch out bro. She doesn't seem to be a good mate. From the posts I gather she is A) cheating B) immature C) emotionally needy D) Seems like a head case. Again, no disrespect intended and these thoughts are just based on what's written and is only 1 side of the story.

Slfmade: The more posts I read of yours, the more I like ya. You are dead on with your view points and he needs to put his foot down.

**paulzane** · 01-25-2012, 09:29 AM

Well what can I say?

Get off this site and sort your life out would be a good start. If you can't sort out something like that then Wtf are you going to do when a real crisis occurs?

Good luck anyway!!

**SlimmerMe** · 01-25-2012, 09:52 AM

Plain and simple:

She felt slighted by you not being there for her dog. So she wanted for you to know how it feels by ignoring you when you needed her. Called payback.

By not making her feel special enough for you to rise to the occasion to figure out how to deal with her dog by stepping up to the plate in her mind, it caused her to do the same to you to prove a point. Once a female does not feel special all bets are off and the relationship will go down hill from there.

And since so early in a relationship? I would be very wary to continue since it has gotten off to a negative start. And if you do continue you will have to jump thru hoops trying to redeem yourself for quite some time to make her trust you.

Remember. If we feel you are not there for us, we will not make life easy for you. So keep this in mind when dealing with the female sex. Part of our DNA just like you have your DNA of wanting to spread your seed.