Did I ever tell you guys about the time I got attacked by a dingo?

[Nathan]

So I'm like 8 or 9 years old, right. I'm skateboarding out front of my grandma's house - who lived in a mansion at the time since my grandpa left her a pantload of cash. I just wanted to mention that my grandma had a mansion, which by association makes me hella better than the rest of you. Anyways, I'm doing my thang, minding my own business, and all of a sudden this fucking huge dog comes careening out of my grandma's neighbor's backyard and is coming right at me. I'm all, "Crap." The dog jumps on me and begins tearing at my clothing and biting me and shit. The dog's owner eventually gets to the damn thing and hauls it's ass off me. My grandma is screaming at the guy, probably saying something like, "That damn dog raped my grandson and ate his esophagus." Well, maybe not so much with the esophagus part. I just think it's by far the best organ going right now and wanted to give it the recognition it deserves.
Anyways, the guy informed us that it was a dingo he was trying to breed with some of his dogs and he was very sorry. My grandma threatened to bend him over and cram the business end of an umbrella up his ass and that was that. I was left emotionally and physically scarred and I'll thank you not to stare at me in shock and awe should I ever meet any of you.
I just remembered I had a dream last night that I had like 9 toes on my right foot and I was a freak. Wanna hear about that? Well, should you be interested, please write me care of:

Horatio Humperdink
96 Assplug Lane
Scrotum, Arkansas, USA
23456

[TheDfromGC]

good post but wednesday april 16th is my birthday,big 18^$&^%$#*^%$&*^%$&*

[Nathan]

Originally posted by Khull_Khuum
good post but wednesday april 16th is my birthday,big 18^$&^%$#*^%$&*^%$&*

This is me acting like I care:

"Oh, look at me, I so totally care."

Happy Birthday bro. Also, the last half of your post is jibberish. I'll assume you can't read or write and be on my merry way.

[daem]

so you were that little pervert wacking off in front of that house when i told my dog to attack you! i remember that day like it was yesterday since that same day i sliced my scrotum open with a dull butter knife.

to clarify, yes it was a dingo, however your grandmother wanted a little more than just to stick the umbrella up the poop chute....abominable.

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?