I'm skinnyfat, don't know what to do, feel down, and Borderline depressed.

[AndS]

Here I am. A pathetic waste of space.

Everymorning I wake up, sit on the edge of my bed and look down ad my stomach and see a roll of disgusting fat. Worthless human I am.

I'm 24, socially awkward, unable to speak. and when I do speak I stutter so much I look stupid and blush.

I'm starting to go bald, I have crease marks around my face which are slowly becoming more visible over time.

I'm whats known as " skinny Fat " and I suck at everything.

I have not 1 single friend and nobody to speak to. It feels like my whole world is just me and my thoughts.

I come home from work and spend the whole day in my room watching movies, on the computer, reading books and painting figurines.

I have 0 confidence in myself, I don't want to do anything and I'm afraid to spend money.

I constantly Focus on negative thoughts about past experiences, and my future... that's always bleak.

Everywhere I go I'm in constant reality check mode.

I can't enjoy movies any more or enjoy music.

When I went to watch the avengers I didn't get into the movie and didn't laugh at any of it. I sat there thinking " these humans are getting paid millions to play a role, and us - the stupid consumers - get only moments of joy "

I never let myself go and get fully enticed in a movie, because I feel like I'm getting conned. Is it just part of growing up?

Music too. every lyric I hear.. I answer back at it saying " stop boasting, stop showing off, you're only doing this for the money you liars ".

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HATE EVERYTHING.

I have a very pessimistic and bleak outlook on life, not suicidal (the idea has cropped up once or twice before) just bleak and I want to change because it is getting me no were fast. And I want to be a 1/2 full kind of guy. I'm expecting many people on here to tell me to " think of the positives in life "

and I'm already getting pictures of vomiting into a bucket. There's no escape.

I believe in realism. I partly blame my dad. From a young age he made me watch movies like Tora Tora Tora and pushed that " Japanese strictness " way of life as being the best there is blah blah blah. DIRECT. FIRM. HARDNESS. STRICT.....

He never allows me to spend money. For years I've wanted a new car and he tells me I'm moving out soon and I can't afford it. So I don't spend anything.

even at work when someone asks me a questions I just reply with a simple " yeah haha " or " nah I don't think so ".. " yeah okay I'll do it "

Just a systematic person with no personality. I'm mr negative and Mr Boring to my peers.

I'm so quiet at work that my team mates are asking me " Why you so quiet for? " nearly every other day.

I have 0 confidence in myself, and everything I do. I'm paranoid, as soon as I hear the smallest giggle, I think someones mocking me for something and I'm the butt of all jokes.

I constantly lick my lips and check my clothes. Whenever my managers ask's me a question I'm not sure of I blush and try to change the subject.

I'd be seated normally at my desk and when someone says something to me I have a smile on my face out of sheer embarrassment. Although under my desk I'm tensing my legs so much they're begging to hurt. My feet are curled under and the pen I'm gripping is moments from snapping....

and onceeee againnn all my pathetic brain has to come up with is a stupid giggle to try and deflect attention away from me.

I don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm posting it on this website.

It's 12:30, I've got to be up for work in 6 hours but who cares. It's a constant cycle of the sams sh1t over and over again. going nowhere fast.

I don't get ANY pleasure. from ANYTHING really. Honestly I don't remember the last time I felt real joy.

I'm a passionate football fan ( soccer ).. but over the course of the last 2 years, I recognized money is why certain teams are winning.

I'm a jack of all trades, and a master of nothing.

I feel like if I had a good body, people would noticed me and respect me more, but for now I'm stuck with my crap body, crap bone structure, crap genetics, crap girly voice.

I know this is a forum about bodybuilding /steroids /nutrition etc etc so I might as well ask.. if you had my body ( see above ) what would you do? Should I cut even more - EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN DOING IT ALREADY FOR ALMOST 6 MONTHS AND I'VE STILL GOT THIS FAT!

I'm so sluggish. I can't even be bothered to open my mouth when I talk.

I have a supreme Loss of interest or pleasure from things. I have severe feelings of worthlessness and recently I've been having reoccurring thoughts of death

[AndS]

I'm unable to post a picture. Cause of less than 25 posts.

[DSM4Life]

Welcome back Bo.

[jasc]

Best advice I can give is start hitting the gym regularly.. The endorphin release will make you feel good and as you begin to see results you'll begin to feel better about yourself and the confidence will follow.

I'm not gonna lie and say it'll be easy. The first few days/weeks will be absolute hell in the gym. You'll see people with better bodys lifting more weight and it will make you feel like shit. Do not let this get you down, use it to fuel the fire. As your body begins to change so will your negative thought process and self doubt. Make this a mission and set some goals.. DO NOT give up when it gets tough as you will prevail a stronger person.

Another big aspect is diet. What you eat influences how you feel and determines how you look. You can bust your ass in the gym 24/7 and if your diet is shit your body will follow. Post up in the Diet section and they'll help you set up a plan. The workout section would also be beneficial so you know what you're doin in the gym.

Best of luck brother.. The best time to make a change is today and look on the positive side.. It can only get better from here.

[alexISthrowed]

Welcome back Bo.

Exactly what I was thinking.

[jasc]

Welcome back Bo.

I'm hopin not after my awesome motivational speech but I think you may be right after checking his post history... good catch

[Bonaparte]

OP, if this is for real, you need to seek professional help for your depression.
A steroid discussion board does not count.

[abstetic]

OP, if this is for real, you need to seek professional help for your depression.
A steroid discussion board does not count.

Lol he's depressed and wana juice bad combo's

[cherrydrpepper]

Listen dude I was a big fukin nerd as a teen. I played dungeons and dragons. I painted figurines for games like warhammer. I was the textbook definition of socially awkward. I was second quietest guy in my school after a dude with an actual medical condition that affected his voice.

Listen:

Deadlift.
Fuk bitches.
Shoot juice.

If thats not your motto it should be. You are the only thing holding yourself back. You go home everyday and do dumb shit (I did all that dumb shit you describe.. actually im about to play master of magic on my computer because i am still a closeted nerd just with some muscle now).

Listen dude its really simple. Do you want to be Rick Moranis's character from Ghost Busters or do you want to fuk 1980 something Sigourni Weaver?

You're socially awkward. Acknowledge it (you have). Work on it.
You're underconfident. Acknowledge it (you have). Work on it.
You can't get bitches. Acknowledge it. Work on it.


Plan of attack courtesy of CDP:

Socially awkward - Force yourself to go out. Do not indulge in alcohol (this is coming from an alcoholic). Standard outings should be downtown, hooters, the beach, whatever, just go out. This should always be done right after lifting while you have the pump going. Because you are starting from such a low limb on the tree, you will want to check out clubs and groups i.e. meetup dot com

Underconfidence - Heres an idea lift weights instead of coming on the bodybuilding forum and talking about it. Lift hard, eat more food than you have ever eaten, and do some cardio everyday even if its just walking half an hour after you lift. You need at least 3 sets of going out outfits. Do not be afraid to spend 100 dollars on jeans, 50 dollars on a shirt, etc etc. I don't know what ethnicity or whatever you are but me I look amazing with a tan its a night and day difference in how attractive I look.

Fukn Bitches - You don't know how to talk to a hoe. Its ok. I used to suck at it too and wish I was gay. I used a video series called Transformations to pick up women. It can be found on certain pirate sites.. I implore you, watch this video. Especially the shit he says about the champ and the chump its so true. I am not a promiscuous person by nature. Once I listened to these videos I fuked 3 girls in rapid succession one being my current gf and I was getting play and averaging probably one formal date a week with a new girl. Even the girls I didn't get to fuk the experience of flirting or dating was amazing and fun honestly best times of my life.

[cherrydrpepper]

Watch that whole fukn video or I will come to your house and skull fuk you

[oatmeal69]

Damn, I'm about to blow my brains out after reading that.

[Razor]

Watch that whole fukn video or I will come to your house and skull fuk you

GD dude you prolly got this poor kid cowering in a dark corner

[JD250]

Years ago when I was in Alaska I stopped along the trail to help an Eskimo with his snow machine, he was stalled and waiting for help so I took a look at it and noticed that there was water in the oil so I turned to him and said "it looks like you blew a seal" he rubbed his face and assured me that he didn't blow a seal and that it was just frost in his beard.

[AndS]

Welcome back Bo.

You're a dick.

Yeah I did have pure desperation threads about gear. I got told not to do it as I didn't know enough... And found myself spiralling into even more of an abyss. But thanks yeah.

[< <Samson> >]

Good luck, brotha. . . . .


You think your shit is bad, it could be a lot worse.

Follow what was posted above & you will be just fine.


Deadlift.
Fuk bitches.
Shoot juice.

[SexySweetheart]

SORRY to hear this op..
not even enjoying music jeeez thats ruff, everyone I have ever known in deep depression will at least listen to sad songs or death metal ~ you may wanna seek some anti depressant pill to help you outta your slump while you start your path towards fitness and its benfits

nothing wrong with the vid CP posted ~ just dont let it get to your head and morph you into some azz of a peacock type guy that thinks hes a playha...youll only get the crazy girls that are stunted in some way to fall for that played out bs and next thing ya know youll be on the boards whinning about how much gals svck or how crazy they all are baaahahaha...seriously tho confidence is good for you, but no worries there are just as many girls out there that are shy and feel ackward. maybe try online chat groups about figurines? build up your social skills till you feel confident to interact with chix in person

def do the tanning... youll look good and laying naked in a booth within a public building may help you get more comfy with your body.

nothing wrong with the figure painting nerdy nice guys ~ i just married one

[alexISthrowed]

You're a dick.

Yeah I did have pure desperation threads about gear. I got told not to do it as I didn't know enough... And found myself spiralling into even more of an abyss. But thanks yeah.

This is definitely bo

[Shol'va]

[jpowell]

years ago when i was in alaska i stopped along the trail to help an eskimo with his snow machine, he was stalled and waiting for help so i took a look at it and noticed that there was water in the oil so i turned to him and said "it looks like you blew a seal" he rubbed his face and assured me that he didn't blow a seal and that it was just frost in his beard.

roflmao!!!

[Shol'va]

Bo Bo Bo your Boat gently down the stream.....

[Catdad]

Best advice I can give is start hitting the gym regularly.. The endorphin release will make you feel good and as you begin to see results you'll begin to feel better about yourself and the confidence will follow.

I'm not gonna lie and say it'll be easy. The first few days/weeks will be absolute hell in the gym. You'll see people with better bodys lifting more weight and it will make you feel like shit. Do not let this get you down, use it to fuel the fire. As your body begins to change so will your negative thought process and self doubt. Make this a mission and set some goals.. DO NOT give up when it gets tough as you will prevail a stronger person.

Another big aspect is diet. What you eat influences how you feel and determines how you look. You can bust your ass in the gym 24/7 and if your diet is shit your body will follow. Post up in the Diet section and they'll help you set up a plan. The workout section would also be beneficial so you know what you're doin in the gym.

Best of luck brother.. The best time to make a change is today and look on the positive side.. It can only get better from here.

Well said

[MickeyKnox]

Damn, I'm about to blow my brains out after reading that.

i said the same thing...with my inside voice..lol

about the video: interesting. i wonder if the dude with the beard with "15 girlfriends" still has any left after this youtube video? lol

[JD250]

roflmao!!!

You're the only one to catch my dry humor!! I guess I thought maybe the OP was so depressed he could use a good joke......he probably didn't get it though....oh well.

[jpowell]

You're the only one to catch my dry humor!! I guess I thought maybe the OP was so depressed he could use a good joke......he probably didn't get it though....oh well.

Lol i think i only got it bus my sense of humor is dry n leves others hanging as well!

[Bevsta123]

and u think roids is going to give you this magical boost? lol gf.

[jpowell]

^ somebody mention magic beans!? Bett hope dan or alex dont see this!

[alexISthrowed]

^ somebody mention magic beans!? Bett hope dan or alex dont see this!

I eat about 2gs of magic beans a week and I'm happy

[jpowell]

I eat about 2gs of magic beans a week and I'm happy

Lol, here we go!

[GirlyGymRat]

Not where to start but thinking you need to check out the gay stripper thread for a few laughs.....

and get your butt off the side of the bed and get working out and even more, start eating right. You will feel better in just a few days!!!!

[alexISthrowed]

Alexisthrowed suicide relief cycle:

1500mg tren ace ew
100mg halo ed
100mg anadrol Ed
No test so you stay lean for the hoes
150mg accutane for acne


If your really depressed this will get you out of your slump

[< <Samson> >]

Alexisthrowed suicide relief cycle:

1500mg tren ace ew
100mg halo ed
100mg anadrol Ed
No test so you stay lean for the hoes
150mg accutane for acne


If your really depressed this will get you out of your slump

With this cycle, just about anyone will be set straight or dead

[Flier]

What happened to the OP.
You don´t have Cancer or Parkinsons. Not deaf or blind.
These issues are so physical or stems from physical, which does not make it more trivial, since we all carry the same burden so differently.
You are living in your mind, and sounds like you have been ignoring the third and biggest part of you. Maybe you need some spirituality in your life, and give you something greater and more positive to focus on.
"Conversations with God", Neal Donald Walsch
"The four agreements", Don Miguel Ruiz