"Bodybuilders are weird" on Gawker

[JohnnyVegas]

This is kinda funny: http://gawker.com/5912393/bodybuilders-are-weird

It is worth going to the page so you can read comments, but here is the text:

Bodybuilders Are Weird

In the world of "fitness," there are a few distinct "tribes" that you see everywhere: the "weekend warriors," who come and go with the seasons; the "health nuts," always on that treadmill and drinking the soy milk shakes; and then the real life bodybuilders, who are, to a person, bizarre, inhuman freakazoids. (Not saying that in a judgmental way.)

I distinctly recall being in the gym one weekend years ago and watching one huge hulking bodybuilder smile and laugh as his slightly shorter, runtier bodybuilder sidekick/ weed carrier recounted how he, the sidekick, had rushed out to buy the big guy some Pedialyte early one Saturday morning when big guy woke up and found that his muscles were momentarily without their literal baby food, which must be had at precise hourly intervals. Just a couple of 240 pound guys giggling 'bout fetching baby food for one another, that's all. It was one of the most disconcerting sights I'd ever seen. Had they been a gay couple, or adult babies, it would have made perfect sense. It would have been sweet, even. But these were exactly the types of dudes who, if anyone insinuated that they possessed even the slightest hint of gayness, would have raged and rended their garments and thrown weights into the gym mirrors and gnashed their teeth and ripped pieces of metal off of the gym equipment and eaten that metal, with their teeth, right then, no homo.

Why the cognitive dissonance, bro? Perhaps it is the raging body dysmorphic disorder or perhaps then again it is all of the steroids . Or perhaps it is as diagnosed by strength coach Mark Rippetoe: "Bodybuilding is men on a stage in their underwear wearing brown paint showing other men their muscles. It is training for appearance only, and at the contest level requires a degree of vanity, narcissism, and self-absorption that I find distasteful and odd."

I'll tell you what else is odd: bodybuilding. Yes, we all need to have a goal, and if your goal, your motivation, the thing that gets you off the couch and into the gym every day, is the vision of yourself as a swollen, oiled, glistening, vein-y, artificially tanned bodybuilding champion, well, that's fine, you freak. You are strange. Not bad. Just weird. Bodybuilding does not have the bad reputation of anorexia only because bodybuilding tends to produce more classically accepted human forms. But choosing between starving yourself and shooting your buttocks full of Winstrol , Testosterone , Dianabol , Trenbolone , Clenbuterol , and a little horsey Equipoise for good measure is a choice between two things that are both not good. Better to choose neither.

You steroid people: you are so obvious! You are clearly on steroids! It is completely visible to the naked eye! There is no lie that you can tell that will distract us from the fact that your massive and grotesque size was gained with the assistance of several varieties of banned chemical substances! Outside of a small class of genetic freaks, human beings do not get that "bodybuilder look," ever, without a shitload of steroids. Hey fellas—that's not cool, for the kids and whatnot. Hey kids, what does Coach Rip have to say about steroids? "There are no shortcuts. The fact that a shortcut is important to you means that you are a *****."

That's a message that kids these days need to have shouted at them loud and clear, preferably by some angry old man.

Fitness is not about how you look. Fitness is about what you can do. Form follows function. The function is the thing. If you can already squat 500 pounds, then you don't need to take dehydration drugs and put on a small topless leotard and climb on stage and smile maniacally. You just need to do that shit. Here's a good phrase that I'm in the process of copyrighting that sums up this issue in a pithy way you can remember: Just do it.

But not bodybuilding. The other fitness things. (While not doing drugs.)

[Back In Black]

'The fact that a shortcut is important to you means that you are a *****'

Hope all the kids on here read this bit and take note!

[JohnnyVegas]

I think a lot of the comments are funny. Mostly non-athletic folks that think working out is a stupid waste of time, but watch 40 hours of television a week.

[DanB]

Who injects dbol or clen ?

Just shows you how full of shit journalists are,

I stopped reading after that, if they ain't even got their facts straight then I ain't reading it......

[RaginCajun]

he must be an obama fan

[Sgt. Hartman]

I think a lot of the comments are funny. Mostly non-athletic folks that think working out is a stupid waste of time, but watch 40 hours of television a week.

Exactly. Working out is a waste of time but it's much easier to be obese or a beanpole and pass judgement on others.

By the way, here's a pic of the author of that article, Hamilton Nolan. I think he should have included his photo in the article.

[warchild]

some people are just so ignorant. like the writer of that article

[JohnnyVegas]

Who injects dbol or clen ?

Just shows you how full of shit journalists are,

I stopped reading after that, if they ain't even got their facts straight then I ain't reading it......

The writer got close. The important thing is how bodybuilding is viewed by non-bodybuilders...not how certain drugs are administered. That is why I found the comments to be interesting.

Many people (as people are known to do) assume the whole world thinks exactly like them and their friends. Comments like, "I don't know a single woman that finds that attractive" is a good example. Therefore, nobody would find muscular men attractive...which is not true.

I found the discussion about how we are driven to this extreme by our low self-esteem to be interesting as well as the comment about how we surround ourselves with other freaks since they are the only people that understand our sickness. Funny thing is, I don't have a single bodybuilding friend in "real life." I know one bodybuilder but all we talk about is cars when we see each other. I feel like a normal guy, but I am not a huge behemoth like the people mentioned in the story, and I don't consider myself a bodybuilder. Still, this is the group we will all be lumped in with.

[JohnnyVegas]

Exactly. Working out is a waste of time but it's much easier to be obese or a beanpole and pass judgement on others.

By the way, here's a pic of the author of that article, Hamilton Nolan. I think he should have included his photo in the article.

Here is another funny thing: this is a series he writes about fitness and I usually find them to be fun and encouraging. He writes about being serious at the gym, setting goals, getting off your *ss and there is even a long-running joke about squats being the ultimate exercise. Sometimes his articles seem ironic - sort of poking fun at the truly hardcore, but he does seem to want readers to get off the couch and get moving.

[RaginCajun]

Exactly. Working out is a waste of time but it's much easier to be obese or a beanpole and pass judgement on others.

By the way, here's a pic of the author of that article, Hamilton Nolan. I think he should have included his photo in the article.

i agree and the pic says it all

[RaginCajun]

double post

[ironbeck]

I feel good and happy....and that's all i want, everyone else can go fruck themselves.

[Hoggage_54]

Who injects dbol or clen?

So my stuff is not legit...???? No wonder I'm getting smaller

[Honkey_Kong]

Fvck the article the thing that makes the page worth reading is this:

"This blog reminds me of my most embarrassing sexual encounter I had. I was seeing this girl once and she'd sleep over quite often. One morning I guess she got up early and decided that she wanted to please her man (me). Now I'm a really deep sleeper so I'm just laying their like a corpse with a semi in her mouth. As she's sucking me off she noticed a warm stream of liquid hit the back of her throat. She must've thought it was my jizz but she quickly realized it was urine since it kept on hitting the back of her throat at a pretty powerful force. At this point she hits my leg really hard and I wake up to her screaming (well it didn't really sound like a scream..I guess its hard to scream when you've got a mouthful of piss in your mouth). I get up and I have no idea wtf is going on. All I see is that my pants are down and she's spitting out gold liquid from her mouth. It finally hits me that I just pissed inside her mouth. I spend the next 30 minutes comforting her, telling her I'm sorry and that I don't respect her any less now blah blah. I even offered to let her piss in my mouth if it would make her feel better (thank gawd she didn't take me up on this offer). Long story short I dumped the bish two days later. Once you piss in someones mouth you kinda lose all lust for them. "

[jasc]

I'd be jealous too if I looked like that guy and some "bodybuiler" fvcked my girl and there was nothing I could do about it... Hmm.. maybe I'd get even and write an article...

[cherrydrpepper]

Ron Weasley lookin ma fackaa

I love people that hate on the lifestyle. It reminds you how fortunate you are. I don't mean having muscles necessarily, just that your eyes are open. When you look around you and you don't want anything the people around you have - not their woman, not their finances, not their career, not their friends, not their car, etc, but on the contrary you DO want all those things that you have in your life, you realize hey im doing pretty good. I don't need to come into work and bitch at people cause im miserable, and I don't need to go home and write some shit on a blog cause im miserable.

[auswest]

you can say this about any sport, i personally dont see the sense in hitting a small ball 500meters to a hole day in day out, or chasing a soccer ball around with other men, or waking up at 4am every day and swimming lap after lap down a swimming pool. the author has no point. each to their own. i think hes just butt hurt he failed at gaining any size in the gym, while poeple around him with a passion did. The author needs to wake up steroids are in all sports.

BRB gotta go inject my clen .

[auswest]

Fvck the article the thing that makes the page worth reading is this:

"This blog reminds me of my most embarrassing sexual encounter I had. I was seeing this girl once and she'd sleep over quite often. One morning I guess she got up early and decided that she wanted to please her man (me). Now I'm a really deep sleeper so I'm just laying their like a corpse with a semi in her mouth. As she's sucking me off she noticed a warm stream of liquid hit the back of her throat. She must've thought it was my jizz but she quickly realized it was urine since it kept on hitting the back of her throat at a pretty powerful force. At this point she hits my leg really hard and I wake up to her screaming (well it didn't really sound like a scream..I guess its hard to scream when you've got a mouthful of piss in your mouth). I get up and I have no idea wtf is going on. All I see is that my pants are down and she's spitting out gold liquid from her mouth. It finally hits me that I just pissed inside her mouth. I spend the next 30 minutes comforting her, telling her I'm sorry and that I don't respect her any less now blah blah. I even offered to let her piss in my mouth if it would make her feel better (thank gawd she didn't take me up on this offer). Long story short I dumped the bish two days later. Once you piss in someones mouth you kinda lose all lust for them. "

LMAO, i could easily see how that could happen if you're a deep sleeper. hahaha

[kranos]

He is probably some skinny virgin loser..

[< <Samson> >]

LMAO. . . . .

I am this big so I can punk scrawny losers. Conceeded I know. . . . . But it is what it is.

[Honkey_Kong]

LMAO, i could easily see how that could happen if you're a deep sleeper. hahaha

i remember sometimes if i wake up with morning wood, there is no way I can take a piss until I talk it down. So I don't know how plausable that story was. still ****ing funny though.

[Bryan2]

Exactly. Working out is a waste of time but it's much easier to be obese or a beanpole and pass judgement on others.

By the way, here's a pic of the author of that article, Hamilton Nolan. I think he should have included his photo in the article.

I think qtip head here has some points.....lol

[Honkey_Kong]

Maybe Hamilton here should consider spending a little time in the gym. No wonder he's bitter about bodybuilders, look at him... hahahahahaha

[Nooomoto]

Geeze...someone was feeling insecure a bit when they wrote that, eh? I'm not a bodybuilder..but I do know plenty, and I don't know any that go writing articles on blogs about how small people are weird because they don't want to be as awesome as humanly possible. What a douche.