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  1. #1
    bulldawg_28's Avatar
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    worst date stories, lets hear em!

    Story time boys and girls! What happened on the worst date you ever had? This thread should get real interesting...I'll go first.

    So I meet this girl through a co-worker. I met her through her mom to be exact. For now, well call this girl Ashley. I'd just barely turned 25, and had been single for a month. At the time, I was just wanting to get my dick wet and whore around, nothing serious (just got out of a 9 month relationship). Her mom gives her my cell number, so we start texting, facebooking, etc. Eventually we met up at a coffee shop and really hit it off, or so I thought. Things escalate from then to intense flirting. She starting coming by my work and I'd visit her at her work, we had lunch and coffee together a few more times. A few weeks go by and she asks me to join her and her friend for a Valentine's Day dinner at a very fancy restaurant. During this time I'm talking to 3 other girls, one of them being a 40 year old cougar. What can I say? I like the older women .

    Valentines day comes, and we all meet up at the restaurant. I order two bottles of champagne. (I failed to mention the two shots of crown royal I took in my car to ease any nervousness) We all talk, laugh, and have a great time for the next two hours. I thought things were really going well. Ashley scoots her chair closer to me. Her friend picks up the vibe, and excuses herself for the night. Ashley is practically laying in my arms as she pulls out her phone. I see she's texting another guy, but it doesn't phase me. I had to tell one of the other girls to stop texting me for awhile because I was gonna spend time with some friends. The next thing I know she says....

    "Hey look, here's my boobs," as she shows me a picture of some 9 outta 10 Double D's from her Iphone. Very nice I'm thinking to myself, no sag, no stretch marks, almost perfect shape...this night can get interesting. Oh and it did...
    "Here's my vagina," she shows me a picture of her freshly cleanly shaven pink taco. Very nice, bulldawg is getting hungry.
    "Do I look fat naked?" She then shows me another naked photo of herself posing and giving a duckface. Other than the duckface, I was pretty turned on. I thought to myself wow! She is really interested! I mean you would think so, right?

    A few moments later, one of the waiters comes up to us and says the restaurant is closing, so hand in hand I walk her to her car. This night had gone pretty well so far, but I was certain it could get better...I would have been fine with just a brief make out session anyways.

    Hand in hand, we arrive at her car, we exchange a few words and I go in for the make out.

    She turns her head and gives me the cheek and she giggles "oh I'm not that type of girl."

    "what??"

    "Oh I'm not a slut that will just make out with any guy," she says with a childish grin on her face. Are you f*cking kidding me? You were just showing me naked pictures of yourself!! And that doesn't make you a slut, but making out with me does??? WTF??? B!tch you're nuttier than squirrel sh1t!!

    Now, 90% of the time I'm a very chill and relaxed type of guy. When I'm on cycle I'm chill and relaxed 95% of the time. However, I discovered during my years in college that wine and champagne have a different effect on me than most people. I will *sometimes* get verbally aggressive and angry, like how some people are on whiskey. I never got violent, just angry and my filter ceases to exist, so I say whatever comes to my mind.

    I don't remember the exact words I said after that, but I think I said something along the lines of "dueces with one finger, bitch!" I flipped her off and walked away. I get in my car and drive to the bar down the street. The rest of the night is a blur. I barely remember taking a cab home and crashing around 3:30 that morning.

    I woke up the next morning with a nasty hangover and 12 missed text messages, and 4 missed calls. Eleven texts were those from her, one from her friend cussing me out and saying that I'm such a terrible person, all men are assholes, blah blah blah!!! All 4 calls were from Ashley. I ignored them and went along with my day. All throughout the day she kept sending me nasty text messages saying "I can't believe you did that, I really liked you, I thought you would respect me more, blah blah blah bullsh!T!!!

    Eventually I apologized to her and her friend, not sincerely, but I apologized nonetheless. I just wanted them to stop texting me. So they stopped for awhile. Then about a week later, Ashley texts me while I'm golfing with my dad and asks me what I'm doing later, I say I'm going to the gym and going to bed. She says "ok, well lets plan for something later this week!" I said "well see I'm pretty busy this week." I pretty much lost all interest in her, so I started ignoring her and when I would text her back I'd give lame excuses for not wanting to hang out.

    Two weeks go by and I'm on a date with the 40 year old milf. Were seeing the movie Just Go With It, that movie with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. Ashley texts me and asks me what I'm doing, I say I'm at the movies. She says "ok, text me later when you leave." I say "will do," and I of course do not text back after the movie.

    About a month passes by and she shows up at my work to see her mom and myself. We both sit down on a bench outside the building and talking, actually, she was talking, I was texting another girl and looking at pictures of boobs on my phone for the most part. She asks me what I'm doing, I said "looking at boobs on my phone." She says "Oh I bet mine are better, don't you think so?" she whips them out right in my face, but like I expected turns me down as I try to cop-a-feel lol.

    Anyways, I've got two more interesting stories from nights I've hung out with this nutty @ss girl lol. One of them led to her practically naked in bed with me, another night led me to hooking up with the current girl I've been with for the past year! If this thread takes off like I think it will I would be happy to post them!

  2. #2
    gixxerboy1's Avatar
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    i say if she had a childish grin on when she said it she was fvcking with you. If you would have played it right she would have easily put out. You just lost your cool instead of playing the game.
    If people can't tell your on steroids then your doing them wrong

  3. #3
    bulldawg_28's Avatar
    bulldawg_28 is offline Senior Member
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    Not at all gixxer. Childish grin wasn't a very good description. I can't really describe it at the moment. Lets just say that her showing naked pictures of herself is a "normal" thing for her. Even with guys that she only considers friends and even people who she first meet. Yes I'm serious. I've got two more stories with her that I hope will better explain her nuttiness.

    And yes I admit, I lost my cool at that moment lol.

  4. #4
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    I can honestly say I have never had a bad date! One story though, we were on the beach and had to climb over a big fence, well she climbed, she fell and I could not stop laughing, she got hammered!! But it made the night better even though she couldn't walk for a week, when her friends asked me if I was trying to kill her I just said ohh her leg?? Yeah she is that kinky in bed

  5. #5
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    A few months ago I met this cougar at the gym and....lol

  6. #6
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    op.. maybe she thinks you are her gay friend and not interested in her in that way..

    Clingers make for the most funny stories I think, it's like if you pay any attention to them and then treat them like crap they have to keep coming back to see what's wrong with you..

    funny..
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  7. #7
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    Ive never been a date guy really so dont have to many stories, Im more of a hook up that night after meeting out, or get to know each other through, work, hobbies, etc and then something happens. Heres a horror hookup I had. Their were a couple exchange students from Ireland working for the summer at a seasonal area I was at. ONe of them, Neve was her name, was typical Irish, black hair, pale skin, and hot. We hang out over a few days in groups, getting drunk house party style. Eventually I take fher back to my apt. We start making out, dry humping, etc, and she is acting like a freak. Get naked, start to ****, and she starts crying, slaps me, calls me an asshole, and gets up to storm out. Im like what the fk ever..... She jumps back on me and we go at it again, then same thing...this happened multiple times and then I was like look your effing nuts, Im not here to pressure you, stay if you want, leave if you want, I could care less. I end up ****ing her like an animal, couldnt hit it hard enough, she wanted to be hurt..... Yeah, she was prob the nuttiest one ever.

  8. #8
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    Oh I may have told this one on another post. Another Key west story. I meet a group of girls out with my buds. We take them to our place. I was 19 I think, she was like 36. We ****, exchange #'s etc and they leave late that night. Next day she calls and tells me to come over and see her at her villa where she was staying, and take a hot tub, she is a tourist. I agree and go over, call her as Im pulling up and she says go around the back im in the hot tub. I walk into view and her, her mother, and her grandmother who is like 80, are all in the tub. The mom looks at me, giggles and says damn sweety he is a hot young buck!!!!!!! I proceeded to get into hot tub, conversate with three generations of whores for a bit, then the mom and grandma excuse themselves so we can enjoy ourselves. I ****ed her got a blow job and bounced... Then spent the next week dodging her calls

  9. #9
    DCI's Avatar
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    Man, thats epic if it is true.

  10. #10
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    [QUOTE=DCI;6033211]Man, thats epic if it is true.[/Q

    haha, If your referring to my posts yeah man both are true.

  11. #11
    DCI's Avatar
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    Lmao, that is clearly a lie, there is no such thing as a good looking irish women. Ask dan.

  12. #12
    DanB is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCI
    Lmao, that is clearly a lie, there is no such thing as a good looking irish women. Ask dan.
    There is decent Irish women but they a rare species, they are solar powered so therefore they hibernate for 51weeks of the year

    More chance of finding a lepruchaun

    I heard the discovery channel is doing a program on them after its finding bigfoot series is over

  13. #13
    DCI's Avatar
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    Lol, Dano, lay off the drugs man lol thats some mad post haha. Yeh, there are some hot ones but they are bat shit crazy like jab1 said.

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    DanB is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCI
    Lol, Dano, lay off the drugs man lol thats some mad post haha. Yeh, there are some hot ones but they are bat shit crazy like jab1 said.
    I have layed off the drugs, that could be the problem......

    Oh yes they crazy alright haha

  15. #15
    DCI's Avatar
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    That's it

  16. #16
    Razor is offline Banned
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    My new excuse for everything under the sun is, "dan told me to"

  17. #17
    Standby's Avatar
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    ive never had a bad date. kind of wish i did so id have some stories to tell

  18. #18
    DanB is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Razr. View Post
    My new excuse for everything under the sun is, "dan told me to"
    Haha that excuse has been doing the rounds for years

    Another good one is, its not my fault I went missing for 6 days because Dan made me go for a drink and you know what he is like..........

  19. #19
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    Time for a skateboard sale yet Dan?

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    DanB is offline Banned
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    haha razr where are ya?

  21. #21
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    Worst date story for me is easy. I met this cute but not hot young brunette online who looked oddly familiar. She seemed really nice and she could hold a decent conversation so I took the risk and we agreed to meet for dinner. The short of it is that about 10 minutes in I realized where I knew her. I knew and had slept with (at the same time) two girls who she was acquainted with. I had seen her in their pictures. They all went to school together. That piece of information alone doesn't tell the whole story. At this point you probably think I was going to have a great night. Well, that's not so. You see, I remembered her because the two girls we both knew were both pretty loose and they were always yakking on and on about how this one was a virgin who was saving herself for marriage, which they of course that was insane. Needless to say, I wanted out immediately but because I would have felt awful about running I stayed and tried to maintain an interested tone for the rest of that painfully long evening. Even if I had liked her I already knew it wasn't going anywhere. Not to mention the fact that she obviously wouldn't think much of a guy who has threesomes with loose women. And to make matters worse, one of the other girls was a twisted, alcoholic, sociopathic, Russian whore so I could not help but wonder if she was somehow in the know on this and was plotting some sort of evil surprise.

    Anyway, that was just not my night. I did learn a valuable lesson, though. One which I hope all of you know... which is that you should never under any circumstances meet a woman for the first date over dinner. Always, and I mean always, meet for a drink. And if she says she doesn't drink then you don't want to hang out with her anyway because she is probably a prude.

  22. #22
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    oh man where do i start.....

  23. #23
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    Met this one from work.

    This is a few years ago. Back story is the long term relationship I was in failed! Only chick I've ever loved, been together like 5 years and we were living together and all. So naturally I'm all messed up in the head and out looking for some strange. I was working in a bigger warehouse type deal with like 100+ employees at the time if I recall correctly. Its one of those I work with you but don't really get the chance to talk all that much type things. We end up going to lunch one day with her and some other friends of mine. My friends bring up some random story about my ex and how they remember me telling them that I wrecked her in bed. She was a tiny chick and apparently smashing into her cervix repeatedly isn't too good for it i'm told. This chick hears this story as my buddies are telling it and I can see her just eye Fking me non stop for the rest of the lunch.

    She ends up calling me the next night at 3 in the morning to come to her friends house.... Obviously I know that I'm gonna smash so I roll out there prepared. I get to this place and meet up with everyone at the apartment and we drink for a bit and talk story. The thing is there are mutual co workers there including the apartment owner. I should also point out that there is a STRICT no fraternization policy at work. This leads her to want to keep it a secret from everyone even the chick who owns the apartment. Funny thing after the fact is I find out the chick who owns the apartment wanted my nuts as well and had been bitching to the original one not to hook up with me. The night dwindles down to about 5 in the morning and the rest of the group ends up leaving and the owner goes to bed thinking everyone (including me) leaves. I cruise back about 15 minutes later real *******ily like and proceed to give this chick a hurting. Im super drunk so I am literally smashing this girl for hours. Now I can't quite say this chick is a squirter because I never saw her get any distance per say. But I guess we can all agree on just calling her "a leaker".

    So I run through this chick and the couch is soaked, and I mean super soaker status! I almost feel bad about it but I just got laid so I figure it was worth it. I go home and when I wake up the next day I do my normal routine shit, shave and a shower. Right about to hop in the shower and I Fking freak out! there is a red rash type deal on my junk. I call this girl up and immediately give her the 3rd degree. When was the last time you got tested, what the hell is on my dick, I can't believe I just got an std from your skanky ass. She is crying telling me she is sorry she doesn't know because she is fine but she hasn't been tested in like a year. End up making a Drs appointment but he can't see me for a couple days. Meanwhile Im sweating bullets over here thinking all sorts of shit! I end up going to the Dr and he is asking me questions and THANKFULLY tells me its a common occurrence! He even asks me if she was a leaker lol. Apparently Super rough sex mixed with a messed up Ph balance and tons and tons of vagina cum will give you some friction burns on your junk!

    I Fking hug the guy and skip out of the office because I just dodged the BIGGEST bullet of my life!

    Im am overjoyed until I get back to work after my days off and meet up with the chick who owns the apartment! She then hands me a cleaning bill for her couch for like 100 something bucks.

    Moral of the story here guys if you are ever with a leaker, remember to take a shower right afterwords......even if you are incredibly drunk and can barely make it home safe.
    Last edited by Bryan2; 06-07-2012 at 07:33 PM.

  24. #24
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    Never really got the chance to have a bad date because I hadn't been on many before I got married lol

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCI View Post
    Lmao, that is clearly a lie, there is no such thing as a good looking irish women. Ask dan.
    excuse me sir i take great offense to this comment i demand an apology

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCI View Post
    Lmao, that is clearly a lie, there is no such thing as a good looking irish women. Ask dan.
    Im Irish and every chick in my family is ****ing gross.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rwy2778

    Im Irish and every chick in my family is ****ing gross.
    You must be from the bog then

  28. #28
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    You cant have plastic chairs at family functions. They break them. Losing hair huge veiny legs always talking bout god lol

    whats the bog. I know you are real deal Irish. That is just my nationality

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    Did you spank it that night thinking of those pictures? Come on, tell us the truth.
    Realist: A person who sees things as they truly are. A practical person. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. William Arthur Ward

  30. #30
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    I broke up with my girl of 4 years and she moved out. I meet some new girl and we went on a few dates. One night she asked if i wanted to go to her friends house she was having people over. So we went. Her friend had a new roomate, my ex girlfriend
    that night was interesting
    If people can't tell your on steroids then your doing them wrong

  31. #31
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    Keep em coming guys!

    DSM- Unfortunately no lol. I wasn't in the mood to rub out a couple of knuckle children. I just went to the bar and drank more.

    So here is hangout #3 with ole nutty big booby. Keep in mind, this is a few months after our first picture showing, oh I mean Valentines Day dinner.

    She texts me around 7:00pm. I had just gotten off work and was on my way to the gym. Here's something how it went:

    Her: "hey whats going on?"
    Me: "heading to the gym"
    Her: "when you get done we should go out for a drink"
    Me: "No thanks, I worked a double today and I'm pretty tired"
    Her: "please its important"
    Me: "I don't know, I really just want to lift then go home and go to bed"
    Her: "I really need to talk to you"
    Me: "I really need to save my money"
    Her: "I'll get the both of us tonight"
    Me: "eh, ok see you around 9"

    I had a feeling she felt the need to explain why she shows off nudey pictures for attention, blah blah blah. I didn't care really. I wanted a few drinks then go home and sleep.

    So we sit down across from each other, luckily for me there was a tv on the wall right above her head. So I could act like I was listening.

    We each get a drink, I had a Red Stag and diet coke (delicious btw!), I don't remember exactly what she had. Here's how the conversation started:

    "Bulldawg, I have self esteem issues...."(really? I never would've guessed? ) She goes on about this for a bit. I tune her out for a bit and watch some baseball. Then enter back in the convo...

    "Yeah I already knew that."

    "How so?"

    "Uh duh. You showed me naked pictures of yourself because you wanted extra attention from me and other dudes. Well women too! (I'll explain this in a little more detail when I talk of hangout #2, which btw I saved her from fighting 5 dudes and the bartender that night) I've never met any girl that just shows off naked pictures of herself as a normal conversation. That to me is disrespecting yourself and the person you're trying to gain the attention of. You're just leading them on for your own amusement. Don't you think?"

    "Yeah I guess so."

    "If you're looking to show your interested, and by interested I mean ready to f*ck, then whip them babies out!"

    "But isn't that being a slut....blah blah blah"

    I tune her out for a bit, damn the Royals are sucking again this year! Well they've pretty much always sucked, at least when I kept up with them they have. Living around the Kansas City area for nearly 5 years does this to ya I guess, makes you Royals fan. Then again I was a huge George Brett fan when I was a little kid. Then I hear her say something along the lines of:

    "Bulldawg if we ever end up dating..."

    "Whoa there Ash! No offense, but I would never date you. I would never date someone who's so starved for attention that she has to use the ole "hey look at my boobs." You're an attractive girl and your fun to be around but that's probably one of the biggest turn offs for me. I gave you a chance and you blew it."

    "Omg........I like that." Really? I'm thinking to myself. This woman is crazy. I tell her I'm not interested and she says she likes that.

    One more drink and she continues going on with whatever. I just about tuned her out. Then some random dude comes up to our table and asks her for a light. They talk for a bit, and I'm thinking to myself "dude go for it. Just don't expect anything more than a peep show."

    Then out of the corner of my eye I spot a hot ass milf walking in with some dude. She looked to be around 29, blonde, slim, tan, nice C cup. She sits down at a table with about 7 other people. "who's that?" I ask.

    "Oh! I think I know her, hang on a sec I'll be right back." She gets up and leaves to their table. To my surprise the dude sits down next to me and starts talking about how he is the great physician assistant, how me makes all this money, has vacation homes all over the world, etc. Me, I'm watching baseball and tuning him out. I asked him a few medical questions such as TRT, and ADHD meds, which he didn't know what I was talking about. So I knew he was bullshitting me. It gets quiet for a second, my eyes are glued to the TV, then out of nowhere he says "you need a blowjob."

    "What?!"

    "You need a blowjob."

    "You're talking about from her right?" I point at the chair that Ash was sitting in. He shakes his head. "You have a good night" I say as I stand up and leave the table to go to the bar. I'm straight up creeped out! Talk about taking a dude off guard. Firstly, let me state that I'm not homophobic, and I've been hit on by gay dudes in the past, but never this direct. Took me off guard, especially since I thought he was originally interested in Ash. So up at the bar I take two jagerbombs, get another Red Stag and diet coke, and I join Ash at the other table with the milf.

    I'm sitting across from the milf talking with her, that dude that came in with her had left, as well as three others. I was then introduced to another couple sitting next to me. Ash was sitting next to the milf. The couple was talking with each other, and I'm talking to the milf. No attention on Ash. So she does something that stuns the other three, not me though, I already went through this.

    "Look, I've got the cutest vagina ever!" She says as she whips out some pictures and shows them off. "I've got the best boobs ever too!" She starts showing them off, pictures and revealing more cleavage. "But I'm no slut!!" Not this shit again lol. I roll my eyes, the other couple, or I guess I should say the woman began lecturing her about self respect. The other guy didn't mind seeing the peep show.

    Shortly after that brief peep show, I'm already sitting next to the milf and were getting closer...closer...closer... and we start making out at the table.

    To make an extremely long story short(er) we went to my car and things got more physical. She asked me to take off my pants and I say to her lets just go to your place. We have some awesome sex, 3 times to be exact. I leave and go home and sleep like a baby for 3 hours, then off to work. Hungover, yes. Took me that entire day to get over that. The milf then texts me and asks me to come by when I get off work, which I oblige.

    The rest is history. We've been together for nearly a year after that night. We've been living together for 5 months now. One night stand led to a pretty awesome relationship still going strong.

  32. #32
    awms is offline Senior Member
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    This isn't really a date story but a good one non the less! I have a budy who is pretty strait forward and ruthless when it comes to women and sex, any way we went to the club one night, kind of a college bar/club and he meets a girl who was celebrating her 19th birthday (In Canada 19 is the legal drinking age) so its her first time out with friends at a bar, she has the whole birthday sash and crown, a birthday pin....you know the whole thing! My budy starts hitting on her hard! they dance a little, and the next thing you know they are walking out of the club (this is after about 15 mins of knowing each other), I follow just to see whats going on they are in the parking lot behind the bar making out, then I see them start to bang! haha skirt up, pants down, I just kind of shake my head at this point and walk in the bar, well about 4 to 5 mins later he walks back in alone and says, alright lets party with a smirk on his face....I just kinda look at him and laugh but we go about our business and keep partying, with in 20 mins he is hitting on another chick haha so the night is coming to an end and we leave the bar, and what do you think we see? the girl he banged out side with her friends all around her, crying, makeup running all over her face, just a mess, and my budy walks out with another girl right by her....I have to say it was probably the most heat less thing I had ever seen! lol I felt really bad for the poor girl! I guess you could say she learned a valuable lesson! don't have sex with guys you have known for 15 mins behind the bar in a parking lot because you will end up with a broken heart lol

  33. #33
    Armykid93's Avatar
    Armykid93 is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by gixxerboy1
    I broke up with my girl of 4 years and she moved out. I meet some new girl and we went on a few dates. One night she asked if i wanted to go to her friends house she was having people over. So we went. Her friend had a new roomate, my ex girlfriend
    that night was interesting
    That story stresses me out just thinking about it

  34. #34
    DSM4Life's Avatar
    DSM4Life is offline Snook~ AR Lounge Monitor
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulldawg_28 View Post
    Keep em coming guys!

    DSM- Unfortunately no lol. I wasn't in the mood to rub out a couple of knuckle children. I just went to the bar and drank more.

    So here is hangout #3 with ole nutty big booby. Keep in mind, this is a few months after our first picture showing, oh I mean Valentines Day dinner.

    She texts me around 7:00pm. I had just gotten off work and was on my way to the gym. Here's something how it went:

    Her: "hey whats going on?"
    Me: "heading to the gym"
    Her: "when you get done we should go out for a drink"
    Me: "No thanks, I worked a double today and I'm pretty tired"
    Her: "please its important"
    Me: "I don't know, I really just want to lift then go home and go to bed"
    Her: "I really need to talk to you"
    Me: "I really need to save my money"
    Her: "I'll get the both of us tonight"
    Me: "eh, ok see you around 9"

    I had a feeling she felt the need to explain why she shows off nudey pictures for attention, blah blah blah. I didn't care really. I wanted a few drinks then go home and sleep.

    So we sit down across from each other, luckily for me there was a tv on the wall right above her head. So I could act like I was listening.

    We each get a drink, I had a Red Stag and diet coke (delicious btw!), I don't remember exactly what she had. Here's how the conversation started:

    "Bulldawg, I have self esteem issues...."(really? I never would've guessed? ) She goes on about this for a bit. I tune her out for a bit and watch some baseball. Then enter back in the convo...

    "Yeah I already knew that."

    "How so?"

    "Uh duh. You showed me naked pictures of yourself because you wanted extra attention from me and other dudes. Well women too! (I'll explain this in a little more detail when I talk of hangout #2, which btw I saved her from fighting 5 dudes and the bartender that night) I've never met any girl that just shows off naked pictures of herself as a normal conversation. That to me is disrespecting yourself and the person you're trying to gain the attention of. You're just leading them on for your own amusement. Don't you think?"

    "Yeah I guess so."

    "If you're looking to show your interested, and by interested I mean ready to f*ck, then whip them babies out!"

    "But isn't that being a slut....blah blah blah"

    I tune her out for a bit, damn the Royals are sucking again this year! Well they've pretty much always sucked, at least when I kept up with them they have. Living around the Kansas City area for nearly 5 years does this to ya I guess, makes you Royals fan. Then again I was a huge George Brett fan when I was a little kid. Then I hear her say something along the lines of:

    "Bulldawg if we ever end up dating..."

    "Whoa there Ash! No offense, but I would never date you. I would never date someone who's so starved for attention that she has to use the ole "hey look at my boobs." You're an attractive girl and your fun to be around but that's probably one of the biggest turn offs for me. I gave you a chance and you blew it."

    "Omg........I like that." Really? I'm thinking to myself. This woman is crazy. I tell her I'm not interested and she says she likes that.

    One more drink and she continues going on with whatever. I just about tuned her out. Then some random dude comes up to our table and asks her for a light. They talk for a bit, and I'm thinking to myself "dude go for it. Just don't expect anything more than a peep show."

    Then out of the corner of my eye I spot a hot ass milf walking in with some dude. She looked to be around 29, blonde, slim, tan, nice C cup. She sits down at a table with about 7 other people. "who's that?" I ask.

    "Oh! I think I know her, hang on a sec I'll be right back." She gets up and leaves to their table. To my surprise the dude sits down next to me and starts talking about how he is the great physician assistant, how me makes all this money, has vacation homes all over the world, etc. Me, I'm watching baseball and tuning him out. I asked him a few medical questions such as TRT, and ADHD meds, which he didn't know what I was talking about. So I knew he was bullshitting me. It gets quiet for a second, my eyes are glued to the TV, then out of nowhere he says "you need a blowjob."

    "What?!"

    "You need a blowjob."

    "You're talking about from her right?" I point at the chair that Ash was sitting in. He shakes his head. "You have a good night" I say as I stand up and leave the table to go to the bar. I'm straight up creeped out! Talk about taking a dude off guard. Firstly, let me state that I'm not homophobic, and I've been hit on by gay dudes in the past, but never this direct. Took me off guard, especially since I thought he was originally interested in Ash. So up at the bar I take two jagerbombs, get another Red Stag and diet coke, and I join Ash at the other table with the milf.

    I'm sitting across from the milf talking with her, that dude that came in with her had left, as well as three others. I was then introduced to another couple sitting next to me. Ash was sitting next to the milf. The couple was talking with each other, and I'm talking to the milf. No attention on Ash. So she does something that stuns the other three, not me though, I already went through this.

    "Look, I've got the cutest vagina ever!" She says as she whips out some pictures and shows them off. "I've got the best boobs ever too!" She starts showing them off, pictures and revealing more cleavage. "But I'm no slut!!" Not this shit again lol. I roll my eyes, the other couple, or I guess I should say the woman began lecturing her about self respect. The other guy didn't mind seeing the peep show.

    Shortly after that brief peep show, I'm already sitting next to the milf and were getting closer...closer...closer... and we start making out at the table.

    To make an extremely long story short(er) we went to my car and things got more physical. She asked me to take off my pants and I say to her lets just go to your place. We have some awesome sex, 3 times to be exact. I leave and go home and sleep like a baby for 3 hours, then off to work. Hungover, yes. Took me that entire day to get over that. The milf then texts me and asks me to come by when I get off work, which I oblige.

    The rest is history. We've been together for nearly a year after that night. We've been living together for 5 months now. One night stand led to a pretty awesome relationship still going strong.
    Your real name is Bulldawg !!
    Realist: A person who sees things as they truly are. A practical person. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. William Arthur Ward

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