Girl friend problem

**S&S_ShovelHead** · 06-13-2012, 01:16 PM

....

**Times Roman** · 06-13-2012, 01:23 PM

since the temptation is so strong, and you obviously have a real good old lady, you should avoid the club scene and find some other way to entertain, as it is only a matter of time before you cave in and ruin your relationship.

I know nothing about you and therefore won't try to suggest a suitable alternate activity. But for me, I like to hit the road with my mates on the harley in similar circumstances. Sure, we do hit a few pubs along the way, but much different than a club.

it's really your choice. continue going to these meat grinders and run the risk of losing your old lady, or get a change of venue. It's all about making an adult decision. Are you ready to do that?

**warchild** · 06-13-2012, 01:27 PM

there is a older thread here similar to yours. In the end the guy regrets losing her and kept trying to get her back but she moved on. everyone of us here, esp on test wants to bang other women but is it worth it???

**< <Samson> >** · 06-13-2012, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by warchild

everyone of us here, esp on test wants to bang other women but is it worth it???

That's like the question of "what is life for" lmao!

**jasc** · 06-13-2012, 02:00 PM

She sounds like a great girl man.. but in the end it's up to you and where you see yourself in a few years... As you said, it's rare to find a good girl and if you can see yourself with her for the long haul don't fvck it up for some bar flys. I dunno how old you are, so that plays a big role in it too, but just think to yourself.. If you cheat with one of these girls, can you stand to see your gf walk out the door n start fvckin other dudes?

If you wanna stay with your girl, but like hangin with the boys, don't give these other broads the time of day. If you start to flirt it's a slippery slope. One thing leads to another and eventually you'll slip up. I can relate to your situation completely. I have a great girl, been together 3 yrs and she also bartends 1-2 nights to pay off student debt. My boys all like to go out so I go sometimes, but as soon as a girl approaches I blow em off before they can begin to speak. Sure I come across as a total asshole, but I love my girl and won't disrespect her by even flirting.

The choice is yours my friend, but think long-term

**warchild** · 06-13-2012, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by samson_420

That's like the question of "what is life for" lmao!

hahah good point

**warchild** · 06-13-2012, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by jasc

She sounds like a great girl man.. but in the end it's up to you and where you see yourself in a few years... As you said, it's rare to find a good girl and if you can see yourself with her for the long haul don't fvck it up for some bar flys. I dunno how old you are, so that plays a big role in it too, but just think to yourself.. If you cheat with one of these girls, can you stand to see your gf walk out the door n start fvckin other dudes?

If you wanna stay with your girl, but like hangin with the boys, don't give these other broads the time of day. If you start to flirt it's a slippery slope. One thing leads to another and eventually you'll slip up. I can relate to your situation completely. I have a great girl, been together 3 yrs and she also bartends 1-2 nights to pay off student debt. My boys all like to go out so I go sometimes, but as soon as a girl approaches I blow em off before they can begin to speak. Sure I come across as a total asshole, but I love my girl and won't disrespect her by even flirting.

The choice is yours my friend, but think long-term

i was talking to my buddy the other day and we were talking about when the guy cheats and the woman finds out and they stay together, you can guarantee she will cheat. Prbly some nite when she is out with her gfs and drinking and starts thinking what an asshole you are. Well at least thats whats happened to me and him in the past. As i am older i dont wanna hurt someone else so i keep it in m pants.

**Times Roman** · 06-13-2012, 02:10 PM

Originally Posted by warchild

i was talking to my buddy the other day and we were talking about when the guy cheats and the woman finds out and they stay together, you can guarantee she will cheat. Prbly some nite when she is out with her gfs and drinking and starts thinking what an asshole you are. Well at least thats whats happened to me and him in the past. As i am older i dont wanna hurt someone else so i keep it in m pants.

agree. it's all about respect. if you love your woman and want to be with her in the l/t, then don't disrespect her by fukkin some other broad, ya know?

the way i see it, it don't matter if she finds out or not as part of the decision process.

it's all about your integrity and whether or not you want to keep her around.

pretty simple actually

**warchild** · 06-13-2012, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

agree. it's all about respect. if you love your woman and want to be with her in the l/t, then don't disrespect her by fukkin some other broad, ya know?

the way i see it, it don't matter if she finds out or not as part of the decision process.

it's all about your integrity and whether or not you want to keep her around.

pretty simple actually

strong point tr! thats why theres porn i guess......

**JAB1** · 06-13-2012, 02:38 PM

I agree that if you want to stay with your girl(and it sounds like you do), you gotta change the scene. Like others have said were guys and get tempted... Honestly I cheated on every girl I ever dated before my wife, and I dated some great girls. I was just to young and went out with friends and couldnt control myself once things started spiraling. If they didnt find out and leave, I would get a guilty concience and start not trusting them because of what I had done, its ****ed up how that works. Either way it always ruined the relationship one way or the other. So when I met my wife and started to fall for her, I changed my behaviors as I knew what would happen if I didnt. Do I occasionally want to bang some hot chick, of course, I just dont put myself in a situation to do it......

**JohnnyVegas** · 06-13-2012, 02:49 PM

Either be good to your girl and stop partying or dump her and keep having fun...but don't do both and feel like it will somehow resolve itself. Be an adult and make a decision.

If your need for attention is that big, you might not be ready for a gown up relationship. That is not a bad thing, just unfortunate for your girlfriend.

**ghettoboyd** · 06-13-2012, 03:05 PM

like others have said, temptation is all we have to resist...elliminate temptation=problem solved....

**gixxerboy1** · 06-13-2012, 03:13 PM

doesnt sound like a girlfriend problem, more like the boyfriend is the problem,
attractive girls get hit on all the time when they are out. Do you think she handles it like you do?

**Hoggage_54** · 06-13-2012, 03:18 PM

**S&S_ShovelHead** · 06-13-2012, 03:46 PM

I would never cheat on her, not just because of the fact that I'd hate to lose her but more so I wouldn't want to hurt her that bad. She's got cheated on by all her previous bf's and I just couldn't do that to her. I'm still young (25) and our future is really uncertain because she is a singer and things are starting to go good so that means touring a lot and I have a hard time when she's goes away for a week or two, I hate to think about 3+ months. I know I'd regret it big time if I was the reason we broke up.
But after hearing what you guys have to say I think I'll stop clubbing and try to find something else to do one my weekends.

**Times Roman** · 06-13-2012, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by S&S_ShovelHead

I would never cheat on her, not just because of the fact that I'd hate to lose her but more so I wouldn't want to hurt her that bad. She's got cheated on by all her previous bf's and I just couldn't do that to her. I'm still young (25) and our future is really uncertain because she is a singer and things are starting to go good so that means touring a lot and I have a hard time when she's goes away for a week or two, I hate to think about 3+ months.
But after hearing what you guys have to say I think I'll stop clubbing and try to find something else to do one my weekends.

smart lad.
i see by your handle that you are a harley rider? your mates ride as well? nothing wrong with going out without the woman. just make sure it is the right environment. know your weaknesses, and yours appears to be temptation from other women.... and when you throw alchohol in the mix, it bbecomes a powder keg. get in the habit of riding regularly... find a destination, invite some mates, and go for it. I like to stop off at all the little beer joints along the way.

**SexySweetheart** · 06-13-2012, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by warchild

there is a older thread here similar to yours. In the end the guy regrets losing her and kept trying to get her back but she moved on. everyone of us here, esp on test wants to bang other women but is it worth it???

there is like 7+ older threats almost identical to this from this year alone... geee why ever do gurls ever get jealious or worried their man will cheat? those silly annoying girls are all crazy lol

its simple ~ dont put your self in a situation for temptation . your BB so you know about eating rite and avoiding junk food/same principle: sure it lo0ks good and tastes great and you will love it when you have it , but the next morning it makes you feel like@ss and all the effort you put into what you had, is for not if you keep dipping in the cookie jar

**SexySweetheart** · 06-13-2012, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by S&S_ShovelHead

I would never cheat on her, not just because of the fact that I'd hate to lose her but more so I wouldn't want to hurt her that bad. She's got cheated on by all her previous bf's and I just couldn't do that to her. I'm still young (25) and our future is really uncertain because she is a singer and things are starting to go good so that means touring a lot and I have a hard time when she's goes away for a week or two, I hate to think about 3+ months. I know I'd regret it big time if I was the reason we broke up.
But after hearing what you guys have to say I think I'll stop clubbing and try to find something else to do one my weekends.

awww well done loyal boyfriend

love seeing great guys on here!
have fun making new and exciting plans for your weekends and have a great adventure filled summer!

**Shol'va** · 06-13-2012, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by warchild

i was talking to my buddy the other day and we were talking about when the guy cheats and the woman finds out and they stay together, you can guarantee she will cheat. Prbly some nite when she is out with her gfs and drinking and starts thinking what an asshole you are. Well at least thats whats happened to me and him in the past. As i am older i dont wanna hurt someone else so i keep it in m pants.

That's what I was thinking. She will end up staying with you long enough to bring you to a whole new level of emotional pain to pay you back as she sleeps with every male friend you hold dear to pay you back for screwing around on her. and she will blow them all and come home and give you a big ole deep tongue kiss afterwards just for icing on the cake. Country GIRLS DON'T GET MAD... THEY GET EVEN...

**cherrydrpepper** · 06-13-2012, 04:31 PM

Dude.. admittedly.. im only 30 and life has been retarded at times.

My take is this.

You know what you got.. and you know what you got.

This means you need to look at all the factors.. how attractive she is.. how good of a mom she would be and wife.. how interesting she is.. adventurous.. money making capability.. potential in laws do they suck. Then figure out if what you have is all that special. Now look at yourself homeboy. All that shit I just typed. Be perfectly honest. Are you working at mcdonalds? Do you have a nice body with a butterface? Do you stutter when you talk? No, you have a chiselled physique with model looks and a college degree and successful? Don't bullshit yourself.

Heres what you should be asking

How replaceable is this girl? Are you dating above your standards? Are you dating at your standards? Are you dating below what you could get?

Its that simple. For me at least. And you need to make a conscious choice because these feelings you are having will not go away on their own without you working on it. So if you want to be with this girl then be with her and get away from all that junk like some of the other guys said.

**S&S_ShovelHead** · 06-13-2012, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

smart lad.
i see by your handle that you are a harley rider? your mates ride as well? nothing wrong with going out without the woman. just make sure it is the right environment. know your weaknesses, and yours appears to be temptation from other women.... and when you throw alchohol in the mix, it bbecomes a powder keg. get in the habit of riding regularly... find a destination, invite some mates, and go for it. I like to stop off at all the little beer joints along the way.

Yea, have had my hard tail shovelhead since I was 18 and just got a 94 Electra Glide, mostly for the gf actually, she got tired of getting airborn after I hit a pothole. No buds ride unfortuneately but wthe gf and me been doing a lot of 2 up riding and its been awesome.

**Times Roman** · 06-13-2012, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

Dude.. admittedly.. im only 30 and life has been retarded at times.

My take is this.

You know what you got.. and you know what you got.

This means you need to look at all the factors.. how attractive she is.. how good of a mom she would be and wife.. how interesting she is.. adventurous.. money making capability.. potential in laws do they suck. Then figure out if what you have is all that special. Now look at yourself homeboy. All that shit I just typed. Be perfectly honest. Are you working at mcdonalds? Do you have a nice body with a butterface? Do you stutter when you talk? No, you have a chiselled physique with model looks and a college degree and successful? Don't bullshit yourself.

Heres what you should be asking

How replaceable is this girl? Are you dating above your standards? Are you dating at your standards? Are you dating below what you could get?

Its that simple. For me at least. And you need to make a conscious choice because these feelings you are having will not go away on their own without you working on it. So if you want to be with this girl then be with her and get away from all that junk like some of the other guys said.

one thing is for sure CDP.....

.....as much trouble as you get in, this is one time you should take your own advice.

jjust saying....

**jasc** · 06-13-2012, 05:35 PM

If her singing career is taking off, beef up even more n become her security guard.. then you can legitimately fvck up anyone that gets out of line and you know she'll always be safe

just don't become the jealous clinger bf

**JohnnyVegas** · 06-13-2012, 05:37 PM

Chicks have been making a LOT more eye contact since I got back into the gym 18 months ago. Ironically, my fingers got thicker when I started to put on muscle and I had to take my wedding ring off (titanium, can't be sized).

Now women are starting to flirt in the elevator and stuff so I told my wife, "time for a new wedding ring, I think it is important to look married."

I don't tell my wife women are flirting, but I sure as hell will do everything I can to be unavailable. I wouldn't take a chance on losing my awesome wife for any amount of attention from a stranger.

Not hijacking, just pointing out that this is a problem a lot of us have. It is how we handle it that makes a difference.

**S&S_ShovelHead** · 06-13-2012, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by jasc

If her singing career is taking off, beef up even more n become her security guard.. then you can legitimately fvck up anyone that gets out of line and you know she'll always be safe

just don't become the jealous clinger bf

Been the plan for over a year.

**DeadlyD** · 06-13-2012, 05:59 PM

wow, I'm impressed with you guys for staying true to the one you love!....I was waiting for some a$$ to come by and tell S&S to fvck em all! lol

**GirlyGymRat** · 06-13-2012, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

Dude.. admittedly.. im only 30 and life has been retarded at times.

My take is this.

You know what you got.. and you know what you got.

This means you need to look at all the factors.. how attractive she is.. how good of a mom she would be and wife.. how interesting she is.. adventurous.. money making capability.. potential in laws do they suck. Then figure out if what you have is all that special. Now look at yourself homeboy. All that shit I just typed. Be perfectly honest. Are you working at mcdonalds? Do you have a nice body with a butterface? Do you stutter when you talk? No, you have a chiselled physique with model looks and a college degree and successful? Don't bullshit yourself.

Heres what you should be asking
How replaceable is this girl? Are you dating above your standards? Are you dating at your standards? Are you dating below what you could get?

Its that simple. For me at least. And you need to make a conscious choice because these feelings you are having will not go away on their own without you working on it. So if you want to be with this girl then be with her and get away from all that junk like some of the other guys said.

CDP, plz don't take this the wrong way...this is one of your most insightful, none BS reponses I have seen...so who are you and how did you get access to CherryDrPepper's account. Tell the truth dude, cuz ADMIN will bust you big....graveyard...permanetly banned.

**GirlyGymRat** · 06-13-2012, 09:47 PM

Originally Posted by DeadlyD

wow, I'm impressed with you guys for staying true to the one you love!....I was waiting for some a$$ to come by and tell S&S to fvck em all! lol

just give it time.....

**numero_uno** · 06-13-2012, 10:05 PM

At 34 I can honestly say I have seen this same situation plenty of times before and I have even lived it a time or two myself. In my experience, having these thoughts is a pretty strong sign that the relationship is over or that it needs to be. If you stay with her, you will always wonder whether you should have taken a chance and gone after someone else. That alone will kill a relationship. It's going to eat away at you and eventually you are going to do something you will wish you hadn't. And then you are either going to tell her out of guilt (a terrible mistake - don't ever do that. just shut your mouth and don't admit it to anyone, not even God). And even if you do resist the tempation long term, chances are if she is smart enough and/or experienced enough in relationships, she will eventually pick up on the fact that you are not 100% into it and then there is a chance she's going to bail or cheat herself.

I have seen a lot of really bad break-ups and I'm already starting to see some of my friends' divorces or marriages that are attempting to survive unfaithfulness. It's not something I would ever want to be a part of either way. It can be downright ugly.

Since I don't know you there is no reason for me to pull any punches. In my admittedly uninformed opinion, either you are not ready to settle down or you are not ready to settle down with her, which means this relationship isn't going to last and you can either end it now with less pain or you can end it in the future with more pain and more hard feelings over lost time. That's just my two cents - and some people would say it's not even worth that much.

**Rwy** · 06-13-2012, 10:41 PM

Sorry bro. Get it out of your system or you will be a statistic at 40.

If you want to bang other chicks bang other chicks. Its something that you will either end up doing or wont stop thinking about it if you dont.

It could come back to bite you in the ass or it could be some thing that you need to do to grow. Dont cheat on her because thats not right and you don twant to burn a bridge. Men and women break up all the time becuase they are not ready to be with that person for life. It doesnt make you a bad person.

**S&S_ShovelHead** · 06-14-2012, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by Rwy2778

Sorry bro. Get it out of your system or you will be a statistic at 40.

If you want to bang other chicks bang other chicks. Its something that you will either end up doing or wont stop thinking about it if you dont.

It could come back to bite you in the ass or it could be some thing that you need to do to grow. Dont cheat on her because thats not right and you don twant to burn a bridge. Men and women break up all the time becuase they are not ready to be with that person for life. It doesnt make you a bad person.

This is exactly what I worry about. I'm still going to try to seperate myself from the temptation and hopefully the fealings will go away.

**JAB1** · 06-14-2012, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by S&S_ShovelHead

This is exactly what I worry about. I'm still going to try to seperate myself from the temptation and hopefully the fealings will go away.

I dont think its that easy man. You gotta make a choice to commit, and have the character to resist temptation. Hell If I did whatever I pleased I would eat like shit, do drugs daily, never work out, **** anything that gave me the time of day, never work, etc. You need to figure yourself out. It is totally natural to be attracted to attractive women, and be tempted to fck them, its human biology and our evolutionary drive for survival of the species. Nothing wrong with it at all, its normal. You just have to make the choice to be faithful to the woman you love, and loves you. If you arent sure if you love her yeah break up and move on, its not there. If you know you love her but are tempted on what you could get, missing out on, etc, get over it, the grass isnt greener on the other side..CDP's post was right on. Now if you never got laid previously and have issues with self esteem, etc, get a shrink, this is usually the casue of cheating and has nothing to do with what you want or need in your life, it is a fault that you need to learn how to get over, and fukn random chicks isnt the solution, its a banaid for your damaged image of self....My opinion.

That being said I think your making the right choice by separating yourself and seeing what happens, just dont expect to not have urges, especially if you use test, etc. Urges are normal, without them we would have been extinct along time ago...

**spywizard** · 06-14-2012, 10:32 AM

just remember, a ring don't block no holes... good luck

**paulzane** · 06-14-2012, 11:32 AM

Hey .... love the one you are with .... that's my motto and it works for me!

**Renesis** · 06-15-2012, 09:05 PM

Why is it so hard to just have a good time and not flirt? When I was dating I went out and got hammered the moment a girl started grinding against me or doing more than just talking I backed out. It isn't that hard to have self control seriously... And for those who want to use the test argument, I am not on a cycle and I can have sex many times a day and still jerk off many times a day in the same day so I am one horny SOB. When you have a good girl though it really is not that hard to just say NO SLUT PEACE.