Feel like a turd...

[JohnnnyBlazzze]

Well I used to be a bit more active on these boards and I just got back from what you could call a vacation and I feel like a jackass. I guess this is just another rant...

So I was pretty much in the middle of my cycle which was going outstanding, best one by far. My sleep was perfected, I was saving money, eating perfectly every single day, and hitting the gym hard, sometimes twice a day. This was literally all I was doing. I'm currently unemployed so this is all I had to do and this was all I wanted to do. Anyways, I decided to go back home and "visit" a few people for the weekend. Now, I don't like doing this when I'm completely focused on my training and diet because it tends to nudge me off the straight and narrow if you know what I mean. Needless to say, I ended up spending the last 3 weeks down there in which seemed to feel like some uncontrollable spiral of wild antics. I pretty much got shitfaced every other night, slept with some women that I'm not exactly proud to claim and ate like complete shit. Keep in mind that I was still pinning and training every single day during this so called mayhem. I've now returned to my normal home away from home and I'm very disappointed in myself. One of the first times in my life I have been this disappointed in my own actions.

I now look more bloated then usual and feel like I've lost some hard earned gains, I lost "trust" with a girl that I was hoping I could pursue a relationship with and now feel like I am back to square 1. In no way am I proud with some of the decisions I made but I'm starting to feel that It was a tough lesson learned, which is the only ones I ever learn. I'm looking to get back on the horse and salvage these next few months before I'm off to start school again.

I'm looking to be more active back on this board with all you guys, because it seems like it's more then just a board with information, it's almost like a sanctuary for me as it might be for some of you as well.

[lovbyts]

It's tough to keep the priorities in line especially when there are emotional ups and downs. Nothing can ruin a good thing like a relationship gone bad.

Best of luck and hope you get your head back on right soon. Take a step back, breath, relax and just start again.

[JohnnnyBlazzze]

It's tough to keep the priorities in line especially when there are emotional ups and downs. Nothing can ruin a good thing like a relationship gone bad.

Best of luck and hope you get your head back on right soon. Take a step back, breath, relax and just start again.

Pretty much exactly what I'm doing right now. That's pretty much anybody really can do.

Appreciate the wisdom!

[lovbyts]

It's what everyone should do but to many get caught up in the self pity part and depression. Nothing wrong with venting and getting pissed off from time to time and reflecting but dont let it consume you like far to many do. Feel free to vent all you need

[ironbeck]

"Your only human" the past is the past, move on and start over you can't control past events but you can control the future(kinda)

[DSM4Life]

How are you unemployed but saving money?

[Igifuno]

Good to see you back Johnny. Most of is have been there... Today is a new day man. Focus on it.

[Imperious]

How are you unemployed but saving money?

You would be surprised how much a person can make from unemployment insurance.

[JohnnnyBlazzze]

How are you unemployed but saving money?

When I got out of the military I jumped on to unemployment which surprisingly was about 100 less then what I was getting paid when I was enlisted. I had an opportunity to move in with friends who wouldn't charge me rent or anything until I went to school, so I'm pretty much getting my military pay with no bills, while doing nothing.

I'll be getting double that on top once I start school full time due to the education benefits.

[JohnnnyBlazzze]

"Your only human" the past is the past, move on and start over you can't control past events but you can control the future(kinda)

You will get back on track and before you know it be back at 100%. This is also one of the reasons I never go home, lose progress IMO.

Good to see you back Johnny. Most of is have been there... Today is a new day man. Focus on it.

You guys are all correct and I appreciate the words. I'm not looking to dwell on the past and in all honesty in accomplishes nothing, I'm not a big fan of self pity.

Felt like I needed to explain my wrong doings someplace, get it off my chest you know. Thanks everybody, much appreciated.

I love the help this board provides to individuals with less experience and knowledge as well as the understanding and support!

[dep30]

Hey man i've had some times like what youve described and ive always learned a valuable lesson and have come to beleive everything happens for a reason so keep your head up, keep your goals in focus, and dont be too hard on yourself your only human.

[GirlyGymRat]

none of us are perfect and we all do things we don't consider our "proudest" moments. limit your pity party time, learn and try not to repeat. In my limited experience, the people who have followed their passion seem the most content...some happen to be wealthy too. But always the most content!

[JohnnnyBlazzze]

Thanks peeps! No pitty party here lol. More of a confession I guess you could put it!

[Hunter]

You know if you lay with dogs you get fleas. I have had friends who are bar flies, junkies, etc i still stay in touch with some and some I still would consider friends but if your friends are a common link in bad decision making then you need to keep a "profesional distance" if they are interfering with your goals.

[Igifuno]

Thanks peeps! No pitty party here lol. More of a confession I guess you could put it!

You are forgiven my son. See you in the sanctuary tomorrow.

[JohnnnyBlazzze]

You are forgiven my son. See you in the sanctuary tomorrow.

Go in peace.........for today........ haha