Bad breakup

**abstetic** · 07-25-2012, 01:24 AM

Me and my gf of 4.5 years just broke up.. We have been dating since we were 15.. We broke up because I didn't want to go to college in nd with her and she's sick of the long distance relationship and also I spend more time at the gym and my body ( diet, waxing, teeth whitening) then with her...

now a bunch of thirsty girls are trying to get it in but I love my ex idk any advice on what to do if u went through this same situation?..

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-25-2012, 04:13 AM

Originally Posted by abstetic

Me and my gf of 4.5 years just broke up.. We have been dating since we were 15.. We broke up because I didn't want to go to college in nd with her and she's sick of the long distance relationship and also I spend more time at the gym and my body ( diet, waxing, teeth whitening) then with her...

now a bunch of thirsty girls are trying to get it in but I love my ex idk any advice on what to do if u went through this same situation?..

Hardly anybody stays with their high school sweetheart. My advice for you is to get with as many broads you can get with at your age. Besides, when a chick says that she's sick of the long distance relationship, that's 9 times out of 10 code for "I've been banging other people this whole time and am sick of you calling while they're here." And don't think of it as loving your ex any less or betraying your love for her, because you're not. You're just moving on.

**Super-Chump** · 07-25-2012, 04:45 AM

^ Lol so true.

If you take care of yourself like you say you do then finding some girls to have fun with shouldn't be too much trouble... having casual sex is the quickest way to get over someone

**Capebuffalo** · 07-25-2012, 05:17 AM

You 19 years old. Women are going to come and go. Your too young to worry about this for long. You'll get some strange and forget whats her name..Trust me if there is anything I know about its women and money. That's why I'm divorced and broke.

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-25-2012, 05:22 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

You 19 years old. Women are going to come and go. Your too young to worry about this for long. You'll get some strange and forget whats her name..Trust me if there is anything I know about its women and money. That's why I'm divorced and broke.

^^^ This. Hahhaha I was trying to say this a little more gently.

**Atomini** · 07-25-2012, 05:30 AM

Yeah here's my advice:

Screw relationships, you're better off on your own. Relationships are a stupid gamble, and a waste of time, effort, energy, and money. Don't have a girlfriend. Don't ever get married.

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-25-2012, 05:41 AM

Originally Posted by Atomini

Yeah here's my advice:

Screw relationships, you're better off on your own. Relationships are a stupid gamble, and a waste of time, effort, energy, and money. Don't have a girlfriend. Don't ever get married.

I'll agree with the never getting married bit. A good serious relationship with a good woman though is rewarding. Problem is realising if the relationship is wasting your time, effort, energy and/or money that you need to walk away. I personally love being in a committed relationship and I love my girlfriend (most of the time), but it comes down to first discovering yourself and second discovering what you want in a broad. I mean you should pump and dump them, but eventually you'll find one you don't want to treat like an object. You'll know it when it happens too.

OP, at your age, the best advice is to go bang as many chicks as you can, but more importantly to work hard in school. The chicks you get right now aren't going to rival the chicks you can get if you got a serious income.

**Capebuffalo** · 07-25-2012, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by Atomini

Yeah here's my advice:

Screw relationships, you're better off on your own. Relationships are a stupid gamble, and a waste of time, effort, energy, and money. Don't have a girlfriend. Don't ever get married.

Whoa bro.He's too young to get that mentality. The bitterness is showing a little..Its no secret women are a different breed. But I know I'm no piece of cake either. Again have fun you don't have to settle down. But relationships bulid quality and character. Good ones and bad. Usuall the bad ones..

**Atomini** · 07-25-2012, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

Whoa bro.He's too young to get that mentality. The bitterness is showing a little..Its no secret women are a different breed. But I know I'm no piece of cake either. Again have fun you don't have to settle down. But relationships bulid quality and character. Good ones and bad. Usuall the bad ones..

It's nothing against women. It's the concept of a relationship that I have something against. Everyone has their priorities different from other people. In my particular case, I really don't see a relationship as serving anything meaningful to my life. It is really a big gamble with the odds stacked vastly against you. I could expand on what I mean by that, but i'd be typing here all day. In summary, the way I see it for myself is: I place my career at a far higher priority in my life than a romantic relationship, as I have a much closer guarantee of a beneficial outcome and a positive return from placing my time, effort, energy, and money into that than a romantic relationship that for the most part are highly unstable like a house of cards. My career choice unfortunately doesn't leave room for romantic relationships anyhow, so this is another reason why i've become dead-set on this decision.

If you or someone else values a romantic relationship at the top of your priority list, then all the more power to you and that is a decision you chose to make. But I don't see it that way for myself. I know my statements here on this may come off as bitter, but i'm really not looking at it from an emotional perspective (i.e. I am not holding anything against previous ex girlfriends who may have done horrible things and now I am totally against relationships just because of that). I just see it too much of it being far more random, and the odds far less in my favor, than spinning a roulette wheel at the casino. I'm a man of logic, science, probability, and numbers (most people don't think in that manner, especially when it comes to subjects like this where it is almost all on an emotional level)... and in my eyes when I analyze the whole thing in such a way, I just don't see it being a worthy endeavor for me compared to other things I could be doing in my life.

If I focus on school and career... the time, effort, energy, and resources I place into that I have a greater guarantee will yield me desireable returns in my investment later on. With a romantic relationship, you have no solid ground by which to lay these things on, as romantic relationships are reliant almost solely on emotions and feelings between two people. You can invest SO MUCH of your resources into it and it all can collapse like a house of cards (and for some of the most enigmatic reasons) in the end leaving you to wonder what went wrong. Human emotions and feelings are fleeting. Knowledge and career aspirations aren't. You don't get that same risk with more solid endeavors such as school or career aspirations. This is my personal stance on the whole issue, and I believe our society places too much emphases that you need to be in a romantic relationship, you need to have it as a part of your life, and that it is a requirement for success or survival. No it isn't, it is not essential to your survival in basic life, nor in the socio-economic setting. In comparison, an education is very vital. A job is too. So is having a roof over your head. Having no education, no job, or no home is quite a predicament and is a high possibility of putting your life in danger. Having no romantic relationship with a signiciant other will not put your life in danger, it is not a requirement to even be succesfull. An additional thing I didn't mention that really bugs me is how our society seems to also like to tell us that having a girlfriend/boyfriend/romantic relationship is required for happiness, and that you need it to 'complete' yourself. No you don't. Happiness and completeness should be found within yourself, not dependant on someone else in an unnatural and dangerous symbiotic relationship. Can relationships provide happiness? Yes, they sure can. But its not the end-all be-all, you can be very happy without it.

And i've had people ask me things like "but you want to live a lonely life like that?" and similar questions. I understand these are legitemate questions being asked of me by people who have been told by society what to value (in this case, they've been wrongly convinced that you're 'lonely' unless you have a significant other in a romantic relationship). My response to them is: "I am alone, but I am not lonely".

I think the OP should experience more relationships and what not, and then make a decision for himself. Of course, nobody gets to these points without experience in life. I always like to say experience is the greatest teacher but also the most difficult and unforgiving: because she gives the test first, and the lesson afterwards. I haven't been in a romantic relationship in a good 3 years, and with all of this being said, I do enjoy the feeling of being in one and the intense emotional connections with the other person, the feeling of being 'in love', etc. but its not something I am looking for any more, and I can do easily without it.

**Atomini** · 07-25-2012, 09:58 AM

Just an additional piece of advice for those going through breakups and tend to panic over not being able to let go, etc., ask yourself this question: "was I doing just fine before this person came along in my life?". Likely, your answer will be yes. Ask yourself "was I emotionally broken up this way before this person came along?". Likely, your answer will be no. Then ask yourself "based on the last 2 questions, will I be just fine after this person has gone from my life?". The answer should likely be yes. You were fine before they came along, you'll be just fine after they go. You didn't need them to survive before, and you don't need them after.

I know its hard, but after the couple weeks or whatnot of post-breakup pain subsides, you'll look back and realize this. As you go through subsquent breakups and relationship endings, eventually it won't even 'hurt' any more. You'll just be able to laugh in the girl's face, agree to the breakup, and just walk away. Usually when you can get to this point (or train yourself to react less emotionally at that point), you'll see the truth come out in your ex a lot more. When someone dumps you, they typically expect the panic and desperation reactions from you. When you don't give that to them, and you just laugh in their face, it has a reverse phsychological effect and the truth will come out (if there is any dark truth behind their decision to dump you).

**Capebuffalo** · 07-25-2012, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by Atomini

It's nothing against women. It's the concept of a relationship that I have something against. Everyone has their priorities different from other people. In my particular case, I really don't see a relationship as serving anything meaningful to my life. It is really a big gamble with the odds stacked vastly against you. I could expand on what I mean by that, but i'd be typing here all day. In summary, the way I see it for myself is: I place my career at a far higher priority in my life than a romantic relationship, as I have a much closer guarantee of a beneficial outcome and a positive return from placing my time, effort, energy, and money into that than a romantic relationship that for the most part are highly unstable like a house of cards. My career choice unfortunately doesn't leave room for romantic relationships anyhow, so this is another reason why i've become dead-set on this decision.

If you or someone else values a romantic relationship at the top of your priority list, then all the more power to you and that is a decision you chose to make. But I don't see it that way for myself. I know my statements here on this may come off as bitter, but i'm really not looking at it from an emotional perspective (i.e. I am not holding anything against previous ex girlfriends who may have done horrible things and now I am totally against relationships just because of that). I just see it too much of it being far more random, and the odds far less in my favor, than spinning a roulette wheel at the casino. I'm a man of logic, science, probability, and numbers (most people don't think in that manner, especially when it comes to subjects like this where it is almost all on an emotional level)... and in my eyes when I analyze the whole thing in such a way, I just don't see it being a worthy endeavor for me compared to other things I could be doing in my life.

If I focus on school and career... the time, effort, energy, and resources I place into that I have a greater guarantee will yield me desireable returns in my investment later on. With a romantic relationship, you have no solid ground by which to lay these things on, as romantic relationships are reliant almost solely on emotions and feelings between two people. You can invest SO MUCH of your resources into it and it all can collapse like a house of cards (and for some of the most enigmatic reasons) in the end leaving you to wonder what went wrong. Human emotions and feelings are fleeting. Knowledge and career aspirations aren't. You don't get that same risk with more solid endeavors such as school or career aspirations. This is my personal stance on the whole issue, and I believe our society places too much emphases that you need to be in a romantic relationship, you need to have it as a part of your life, and that it is a requirement for success or survival. No it isn't, it is not essential to your survival in basic life, nor in the socio-economic setting. In comparison, an education is very vital. A job is too. So is having a roof over your head. Having no education, no job, or no home is quite a predicament and is a high possibility of putting your life in danger. Having no romantic relationship with a signiciant other will not put your life in danger, it is not a requirement to even be succesfull. An additional thing I didn't mention that really bugs me is how our society seems to also like to tell us that having a girlfriend/boyfriend/romantic relationship is required for happiness, and that you need it to 'complete' yourself. No you don't. Happiness and completeness should be found within yourself, not dependant on someone else in an unnatural and dangerous symbiotic relationship. Can relationships provide happiness? Yes, they sure can. But its not the end-all be-all, you can be very happy without it.

And i've had people ask me things like "but you want to live a lonely life like that?" and similar questions. I understand these are legitemate questions being asked of me by people who have been told by society what to value (in this case, they've been wrongly convinced that you're 'lonely' unless you have a significant other in a romantic relationship). My response to them is: "I am alone, but I am not lonely".

I think the OP should experience more relationships and what not, and then make a decision for himself. Of course, nobody gets to these points without experience in life. I always like to say experience is the greatest teacher but also the most difficult and unforgiving: because she gives the test first, and the lesson afterwards. I haven't been in a romantic relationship in a good 3 years, and with all of this being said, I do enjoy the feeling of being in one and the intense emotional connections with the other person, the feeling of being 'in love', etc. but its not something I am looking for any more, and I can do easily without it.

Well stated. Everyone has different goals and ideas of what they want or think they want..You obviously have thought long and hard. More power to you.

**kalspic** · 07-25-2012, 11:21 AM

good post atomini if i didnt know any better i would think that was bojngles posting

**Times Roman** · 07-25-2012, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by abstetic

Me and my gf of 4.5 years just broke up.. We have been dating since we were 15.. We broke up because I didn't want to go to college in nd with her and she's sick of the long distance relationship and also I spend more time at the gym and my body ( diet, waxing, teeth whitening) then with her...

now a bunch of thirsty girls are trying to get it in but I love my ex idk any advice on what to do if u went through this same situation?..

Mate,

This may be an opportunity for you. You are very young, and should experience all that life has to offer. After having been with other women, you can look back and then reassess this relationship you've had with your ex. You may decide to look her up and try to pursue, or abandon it completely.

However, just because you have not experienced many women, doesn't mean that you couldn't have had a happy life with this woman. A good friend of mine has been with his woman since he was 15, which means they've been together for over 30 years. and it is pretty obvious they still love each other very much.

But, it does sound like she is moving on with life, growing, maturing, and you might be stuck in a rut. You invest heavily in yourself, in stuff that is extremely short term with no long term payoff (teeth whitening, body waxing etc.). So it sounds like you have some soul searching to do, either stay in this rut, or get "unstuck" and look to grow in other areas besides things that make you look "pretty".

**Scabtree** · 07-25-2012, 12:06 PM

Maybe it was just an excuse that she was using to get out of your life; maybe you don't spend too much time at the gym etc but she needed a way out for some reason. But either way, now is a good time to think about your life and where you would like to be next year, or in five years; and proceed in that direction - defiantly figure out how to soul search, and do that. Sometimes, relationships can blind you from seeing what is the best direction for your life.

**gearbox** · 07-25-2012, 12:26 PM

Great info for op
Op- your emotionally attached to this girl so it's close to impossible to make a logical decision. That's why we are here to help. Good luck

**Atomini** · 07-25-2012, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo;6087***

Well stated. Everyone has different goals and ideas of what they want or think they want..You obviously have thought long and hard. More power to you.

I thought long and hard after I realized, after many breakups and ended relationships, I asked myself what the purpose and value of such a thing is to me. I found for myself that the whole concept of romantic relationships do not add up. There is no rhyme or reason, no logical structure to romantic relationships. It is all random, far too random for me. I have better guarantees in a poker game. They are as random - if not more random - as the lottery. Towards the end of my last few relationships I started asking myself things like "what's to stop this woman from having a change of mind/heart and walking out on me, despite all i've put into this relationship?" (and I had many just do a 180 and walk out on me for no real reason), "what are the real odds that I will be with this woman for the rest of my life?", "what solid foundations do I have to make any estimate about the future of this (or any) romantic relationship?". I found the answers to all of these questions empty and lacking. To me, being in a romantic relationship is like walking on a lake in late fall or early spring. You're never on solid ground.

So here I am today, happier than ever. Look towards yourself and what you can achieve, in order to be happy. Real deep happiness isn't found in anyone else or anything else.

And when it comes to marriage... hah. I won't even talk about that. This is all I have to say about that: marriage is betting someone half your shit that you'll love them forever.

**Rwy** · 07-25-2012, 01:26 PM

Your young so it stings so much worse. I hate to same time heals all wounds but thats really what it comes down too. At the same time you (not saying you are) cant be a ***** and stop life because your ex is in college and its just a matter of time before she moves on. So I suggest doing the same.

I had one of my best tears at 19. I banged like 9 girls in a matter of two months. I suggest you keep to yourself about the waxing and teeth whintening because its a little crazy for a 19 year old

**ironbeck** · 07-25-2012, 02:52 PM

Listen up good dude, just start looking for those chicks who want a in with you and roll with it, because trust me your ex is getting fuc*** royal right now now with someone who has a bigger di** one in her mouth too and she is loving it!!!!move on dude she just wanted to try that guy with the 10in di** that why she didn't want a long distance relation ship.its over and it will never be the same......sorry to tell you the truth. in 6 months she will have fuc*** 6 different guys.......so move on, that is all.

**SexySweetheart** · 07-25-2012, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by abstetic

Me and my gf of 4.5 years just broke up.. We have been dating since we were 15.. We broke up because I didn't want to go to college in nd with her and she's sick of the long distance relationship and also I spend more time at the gym and my body ( diet, waxing, teeth whitening) then with her...

now a bunch of thirsty girls are trying to get it in but I love my ex idk any advice on what to do if u went through this same situation?..

sorry to hear about the pain your going through

what ever you do ~i wish your heart to heal safe and fast

**Rwy** · 07-25-2012, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by ironbeck

Listen up good dude, just start looking for those chicks who want a in with you and roll with it, because trust me your ex is getting fuc*** royal right now now with someone who has a bigger di** one in her mouth too and she is loving it!!!!move on dude she just wanted to try that guy with the 10in di** that why she didn't want a long distance relation ship.its over and it will never be the same......sorry to tell you the truth. in 6 months she will have fuc*** 6 different guys.......so move on, that is all.

you are a sensitive guy huh ?

**Tigershark** · 07-25-2012, 11:44 PM

Originally Posted by kalspic

good post atomini if i didnt know any better i would think that was bojngles posting

I was thinking this exact thing while reading it...lol

**Hunter** · 07-26-2012, 12:51 AM

Originally Posted by ironbeck

Listen up good dude, just start looking for those chicks who want a in with you and roll with it, because trust me your ex is getting fuc*** royal right now now with someone who has a bigger di** one in her mouth too and she is loving it!!!!move on dude she just wanted to try that guy with the 10in di** that why she didn't want a long distance relation ship.its over and it will never be the same......sorry to tell you the truth. in 6 months she will have fuc*** 6 different guys.......so move on, that is all.

Really, no need to be a dick.

**johnnylucifer** · 07-26-2012, 02:31 AM

Originally Posted by Atomini

Yeah here's my advice:

Screw relationships, you're better off on your own. Relationships are a stupid gamble, and a waste of time, effort, energy, and money. Don't have a girlfriend. Don't ever get married.

Quoted for Truth. There really is no point. You end up loosing yourself over time.

**ironbeck** · 07-26-2012, 02:43 AM

Not being a dick I live in a college town its just the truth, dude drop me a line and come party with me for a night we will get you tuned up.....Right. It might help.

**KINGKONG** · 07-26-2012, 03:44 AM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

Hardly anybody stays with their high school sweetheart. My advice for you is to get with many broads you can get with at your age. Besides, when a chick says that she's sick of the long distance relationship, that's 9 times out of 10 code for "I've been banging other people this whole time and am sick of you calling while they're here." And don't think of it as loving your ex any less or betraying your love for her, because you're not. You're just moving on.

My thoughts exactly..I just got outta a 7 year relationship I was young pretty and I grabbed the sweetest 18 year old at the local college..I was 25 at the prime of my life I could had some fun...Iam so pissed at myself for wasting that much time of my life..I was nuts juiced to the gills ready to destroy life and she was a sweet farm girl who was into church and her family who she ignored after she met me because I didn't wanna drive the 3 hours to a farm house to stay..it's the classic good girl who likes bad boys..my advice enjoy school date but don't get involved..it's hard but u gotta b hard and realize that these young girls just wanna have fun..I miss having a road dogg u know someone always there for you, but iam devoting the rest of my thirtys to having fun meeting different women and trying not to b such a cocky fvck with the ladys..have fun don't have regrets later in life..

**abstetic** · 07-28-2012, 01:00 AM

Lol... Over this... I gotta date with 2 chicks one is Italian and the other is Swedish either way I'd be a happy camper

**abstetic** · 07-28-2012, 01:03 AM

Originally Posted by ironbeck

Listen up good dude, just start looking for those chicks who want a in with you and roll with it, because trust me your ex is getting fuc*** royal right now now with someone who has a bigger di** one in her mouth too and she is loving it!!!!move on dude she just wanted to try that guy with the 10in di** that why she didn't want a long distance relation ship.its over and it will never be the same......sorry to tell you the truth. in 6 months she will have fuc*** 6 different guys.......so move on, that is all.

Nah bro she's not like that she's a goodie good she won't let any guy do sh!t unless she's in love with them... Lol

**Misery13** · 07-28-2012, 10:30 AM

Your 19. Relax and stop chasing them. Let them come to you.

**calgarian** · 07-28-2012, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by abstetic

Nah bro she's not like that she's a goodie good she won't let any guy do sh!t unless she's in love with them... Lol

oh kid ...u need to learn alot.......every one is up for sale just the price is different......

**KINGKONG** · 07-28-2012, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

oh kid ...u need to learn alot.......every one is up for sale just the price is different......

You speak the sick sad truth..

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-28-2012, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by abstetic

Nah bro she's not like that she's a goodie good she won't let any guy do sh!t unless she's in love with them... Lol

Yeah, Bro. She's madly in love with those dude that are running train on her RIGHT NOW.

**Renesis** · 07-30-2012, 04:26 AM

There's no reason to make him feel like a stupid piece of you know what.. Being honest and helping him out with advice is far from being straight up cruel.

**lovbyts** · 07-30-2012, 05:44 AM

Time to go find someone else who is a little closer. Best way to get over a girl is to get on top of another one. You might want to choose someone over 15 though.

**KINGKONG** · 07-30-2012, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

Time to go fins someone else who is a little closer. Best way to get over a girl is to get on top of another one. You might want to choose someone over 15 though.

That is true...esp her friend!thats always satisfying

**abstetic** · 07-31-2012, 12:01 AM

Lol I'm over her... Lol I can honestly say idgaf what she does and who she does it with... Lol I gots a new chick

**KINGKONG** · 08-02-2012, 01:06 AM

Listen to me
Do not settle down now youth is for random sex and fun I ****ed myself over..lol I just wanna c u young catz getting lots of butt...iam 32 I feel sooooo old dude..alot of regrets..it's cool though I like the hunt

good luck and u do care lol

**KINGKONG** · 08-02-2012, 01:11 AM

Originally Posted by Atomini

Just an additional piece of advice for those going through breakups and tend to panic over not being able to let go, etc., ask yourself this question: "was I doing just fine before this person came along in my life?". Likely, your answer will be yes. Ask yourself "was I emotionally broken up this way before this person came along?". Likely, your answer will be no. Then ask yourself "based on the last 2 questions, will I be just fine after this person has gone from my life?". The answer should likely be yes. You were fine before they came along, you'll be just fine after they go. You didn't need them to survive before, and you don't need them after.

I know its hard, but after the couple weeks or whatnot of post-breakup pain subsides, you'll look back and realize this. As you go through subsquent breakups and relationship endings, eventually it won't even 'hurt' any more. You'll just be able to laugh in the girl's face, agree to the breakup, and just walk away. Usually when you can get to this point (or train yourself to react less emotionally at that point), you'll see the truth come out in your ex a lot more. When someone dumps you, they typically expect the panic and desperation reactions from you. When you don't give that to them, and you just laugh in their face, it has a reverse phsychological effect and the truth will come out (if there is any dark truth behind their decision to dump you).

What u wrote here is my feeling exactly just better than I can put it..good post

**BlueWaffle21** · 08-02-2012, 01:13 AM

When I was young my brother told me not to pass up any chance at sex but I grew up quite picky. I look back now and wish I had taken his advice and regret not having sex with all the women I passed on!! I'm 32 as well but I really do believe 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20. So far this year I've only slept with 1 woman over 22 and my second one over 22 will be tonight. I'm loving life and making up for my being dumb when I was younger!!

**KINGKONG** · 08-02-2012, 01:17 AM

Originally Posted by BlueWaffle21

When I was young my brother told me not to pass up any chance at sex but I grew up quite picky. I look back now and wish I had taken his advice and regret not having sex with all the women I passed on!! I'm 32 as well but I really do believe 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20. So far this year I've only slept with 1 woman over 22 and my second one over 22 will be tonight. I'm loving life and making up for my being dumb when I was younger!!

That's the way it's supposed to b I still have fun but I treat women with more respect than I used too and I never go over 25...yet, the neighbor lady is a sexy 40 and I can't avoid wanting to "have a nice conversation" lol