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  1. #1
    steppenwolf's Avatar
    steppenwolf is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003

    the "rule's" for men [joke]

    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. from the book the "Rule's", by 2 women. Now here are The Rules
    from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all
    numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
    down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
    you leaving it down.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
    work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
    we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
    all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
    act like soap opera guys.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
    for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
    idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
    don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
    tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

  2. #2
    Warrior's Avatar
    Warrior is offline AR-Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    I'll agree with number 1

  3. #3
    Buddha_Red's Avatar
    Buddha_Red is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Pasadena, Texas
    OMG my wife and i sat here laughing out loud at this list.

    thanks for the post!

  4. #4
    Terinox's Avatar
    Terinox is offline The One & Only
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Originally posted by Warrior
    I'll agree with number 1

    I totally agree!!!

  5. #5
    monstercojones's Avatar
    monstercojones is offline The Anabolic Assassin
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    all women should follow #1, no exceptions. also, wheres the obligatory "smile after the blowjob" rule? thats a biggie on my list.

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