Joke of the day (Monday!!! Man, life is good, no no, great)

Have ya ever woke up one morning and felt like everything was just perfect...yeah so have I...it was today!

Now for the joke(s)

There will be more than one. as I want to make sure everyone has a good chuckle this morning.


Topic number 1: Old People Joke
Two drops of water

Loretta was on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 60th birthday, and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the lady to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink too." The elderly matron says, "Why, thank you. Bartender, I would like a scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one as well." The lady says, "Thank you.
Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up."
As he puts the drink down in front of her, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The 60 year-old replies, "Sonny,when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue."

Topic 2: Religious Joke (picture)

Topic 3: Everyone does the George Bush pics and puts words over it, but this one had me on the floor!!!

I've seen the window one at rotten.com before, and ppl actually complained about it because they thought like someone fixed it up in paint or something, but apparently it really does exist, i guess we just make it funny with our sick lil minds.

The bush one was pretty funny though.

LMAO at the Bush picture. Very nice.