Wife's Iron Fist

[Times Roman]

Interesting point about ppls spouses not knowing or not being a privey to their actions in here. I wonder if everyone would be ok with their wife being on some forum discussing personal maritail issues and your sex lives?

Not saying that's anyone inpaticular...just raises an interesting point.

Me personaly as I said...my wife knows I'm on here and could care less (othwer than wishing I was on less and doing laundry more) NOT GOING TO HAPPEN lol.
She has read things I have shown here but could care less otherwise.

I would never think of NOT being 100% transparent...that's when shyt hits the fan! If she trusts you she woulld have NO reason to jump on a steroid furum board and check your activity. Why would she care??? No more than I care about her being on a home and garden or cooking forum (wish she would join one of these).

I have full access to her FB and her mine...if you have things you need to hide or keep a secret your doing it wrong. Plain and simple!

that's one way of looking at it. i've been married 25 years, and a certain amount of privacy is nice. she knows i'm here, but she's never asked any questions beyond that.

Haven't you ever went and had a weekend with the boys and left the women behind?

[Lunk1]

that's one way of looking at it. i've been married 25 years, and a certain amount of privacy is nice. she knows i'm here, but she's never asked any questions beyond that.

Haven't you ever went and had a weekend with the boys and left the women behind?

She never asks because she trusts you and from the posts I have seen you make she has every reason to.

Sure back earlier in our marriage (almost 21 years) but anymore I have no interest in doing activities with out her. We do everything together from avid cycling to lake time. She loves going to the strippers and I couldnt imagine going with out her ( I have and it's not as fun).

We also have seperate interests as well. If I wanted to go on a weekend hunting or fishing trip she would not care or question yet I would not have any secrets and divuldge any of my activities. Thats how trust is built!!

[lovbyts]

She never asks because she trusts you and from the posts I have seen you make she has every reason to.

Sure back earlier in our marriage (almost 21 years) but anymore I have no interest in doing activities with out her. We do everything together from avid cycling to lake time. She loves going to the strippers and I couldnt imagine going with out her ( I have and it's not as fun).

We also have seperate interests as well. If I wanted to go on a weekend hunting or fishing trip she would not care or question yet I would not have any secrets and divuldge any of my activities. Thats how trust is built!!

There you go, that's part of the difference. 21 years together is a long time to get to know each other. Some people the first 2, 5, 10 years are still a little scetchy and there is still some trust building. Still being men some/most of us like to talk about our past experiences and MOST women dont really want to hear any of that or want to think we every talk about or even had a past before them.

We as men over the last 100 years have lost most of our privacy. No more mens clubs, no smoking rooms no boys night out for most men so some of these forums is all we have left and we like to share things without our significant others poking their nose into every aspect or our like 24/7. Dont be fooled thinking women dont do the same. YOUR may not but most do.

[Lunk1]

There you go, that's part of the difference. 21 years together is a long time to get to know each other. Some people the first 2, 5, 10 years are still a little scetchy and there is still some trust building. Still being men some/most of us like to talk about our past experiences and MOST women dont really want to hear any of that or want to think we every talk about or even had a past before them.

We as men over the last 100 years have lost most of our privacy. No more mens clubs, no smoking rooms no boys night out for most men so some of these forums is all we have left and we like to share things without our significant others poking their nose into every aspect or our like 24/7. Dont be fooled thinking women dont do the same. YOUR may not but most do.

I agree Byts..it was a rocky road getting to the smoother sailing. Thats why I have said a perfect marriage is a union between 2 ppl who are willing to forgive!
Those first 5-8 years...you better believe it aint all roses. I know my wife would agree!!! I have worn out a cpl couches in our time lol

[gearbox]

Woman talk about there relationships and sex life way mode then men do. Every phone call or nail appointment.

I agree with having trust and honesty but coming on here and reading your posts show.lack of trust and something can be interpreted wrong.

[Lunk1]

Woman talk about there relationships and sex life way mode then men do. Every phone call or nail appointment.

I agree with having trust and honesty but coming on here and reading your posts show.lack of trust and something can be interpreted wrong.

No question..major issues to resolve if it's ever going to work! Funny though...21 years of marriage and I STILL check my wifes cell phone messages. The jeliousy never completely dies if you care imo. She has NEVER done a thing to make me question her loyalty yet I have never stopped worrying that it could happen. I am assuming thats normal for most men????

[lovbyts]

It's better to be safe, sure and informed than a fool and deceived. Nothing wrong with a little re assurance once in a while. Just dont let it eat at you and become a cancer. Jealousy will destroy the best of relationships. If you look hard enough for a problem you will eventually find one.

[red_hulk]

No question..major issues to resolve if it's ever going to work! Funny though...21 years of marriage and I STILL check my wifes cell phone messages. The jeliousy never completely dies if you care imo. She has NEVER done a thing to make me question her loyalty yet I have never stopped worrying that it could happen. I am assuming thats normal for most men????

I do the same thing man, never find anything but it doesn't discourage me from doing it again haha.

Also to OP, I just ready the original post, but it sounds like hormones to me. It can hit different women differently some worse than others. Also, after having a baby, most women are insecure about their body just because it doesn't look the same as it used to. She probably worries that If you look at other women you'll be more attracted to them than you are to her. She should get over it with time, if not have a talk about it and straighten things out. But I think everything will be cool eventually, good luck bro.

[ironbeck]

No question..major issues to resolve if it's ever going to work! Funny though...21 years of marriage and I STILL check my wifes cell phone messages. The jealousy never completely dies if you care imo. She has NEVER done a thing to make me question her loyalty yet I have never stopped worrying that it could happen. I am assuming thats normal for most men????

I totally disagree......it's not being nieve( I have been cheated on plenty in my life), its just not the way I have chosen to live. If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat. I have access to my wife email account, facebook, and most everything, I don't look through her stuff, I refuse to live in insecurity and jealously over, mild flirting and cyber contact with the opposite sex. I would however get suspicious if she was taking unwarranted trips or leaving for unschelded days of work in the middle of the night, shit like that.

[kronik420]

im never getting married..

[JohnnyVegas]

No question..major issues to resolve if it's ever going to work! Funny though...21 years of marriage and I STILL check my wifes cell phone messages. The jeliousy never completely dies if you care imo. She has NEVER done a thing to make me question her loyalty yet I have never stopped worrying that it could happen. I am assuming thats normal for most men????

I have never checked my wife's phone or emails. I don't ever go into places that are exclusively hers (like her purse or her side of the closet). She even noticed that when she asks me to get something out of her purse I bring her the purse. She asked why and I said, "your purse is yours and it is none of my business." She appreciated that but said I can go through it any time I want. I think I showed that I trust her and she returns it. I don't know if she goes through my stuff, and I don't care, but I bet she never has.

Speaking of which, I got some phone calls at 10:30pm from Arizona last night. I listened to the voice mail and it was a drunk girl saying dirty things. I had my wife listen to it. She called two more times and left dirty messages and my wife listed to them too. We had a laugh. Finally I decided to send a quick text message to her to let her know she had the wrong number. When I clicked the "send message button" it brought up a previous conversation that I had with her via text. I had no problem telling my wife, "holy sh*t, I know this girl." I had already told my wife about this girl that I was going to do some design work for but never did. Because of 10 years of honesty and transparency I don't think my wife had even a second of doubt regarding why I had a girl leaving me dirty voice mails.

im never getting married..

I whole heartedly recommend marriage. You just need to find someone HIGHLY compatible. If you constantly need to work hard to make it work...she is the wrong girl and you will get divorced.

[Lunk1]

[QUOTE=JohnnyVegas;6203720]I have never checked my wife's phone or emails. I don't ever go into places that are exclusively hers (like her purse or her side of the closet). She even noticed that when she asks me to get something out of her purse I bring her the purse. She asked why and I said, "your purse is yours and it is none of my business." She appreciated that but said I can go through it any time I want. I think I showed that I trust her and she returns it. I don't know if she goes through my stuff, and I don't care, but I bet she never has.

Speaking of which, I got some phone calls at 10:30pm from Arizona last night. I listened to the voice mail and it was a drunk girl saying dirty things. I had my wife listen to it. She called two more times and left dirty messages and my wife listed to them too. We had a laugh. Finally I decided to send a quick text message to her to let her know she had the wrong number. When I clicked the "send message button" it brought up a previous conversation that I had with her via text. I had no problem telling my wife, "holy sh*t, I know this girl." I had already told my wife about this girl that I was going to do some design work for but never did. Because of 10 years of honesty and transparency I don't think my wife had even a second of doubt regarding why I had a girl leaving me dirty voice mails.


I wish I had that comfort...I was actually showing the wife this thread this morning and the thngs I posted. We both talked about the phone check thing. She knows it's my own insecurity and doesn't always appreciate it but totaly understands it. It doesn't really create a problem..I never find anything and she thinks I'm a dumb ass for checking lol

[Times Roman]

I have never checked my wife's phone or emails. I don't ever go into places that are exclusively hers (like her purse or her side of the closet). She even noticed that when she asks me to get something out of her purse I bring her the purse. She asked why and I said, "your purse is yours and it is none of my business." She appreciated that but said I can go through it any time I want. I think I showed that I trust her and she returns it. I don't know if she goes through my stuff, and I don't care, but I bet she never has.

Speaking of which, I got some phone calls at 10:30pm from Arizona last night. I listened to the voice mail and it was a drunk girl saying dirty things. I had my wife listen to it. She called two more times and left dirty messages and my wife listed to them too. We had a laugh. Finally I decided to send a quick text message to her to let her know she had the wrong number. When I clicked the "send message button" it brought up a previous conversation that I had with her via text. I had no problem telling my wife, "holy sh*t, I know this girl." I had already told my wife about this girl that I was going to do some design work for but never did. Because of 10 years of honesty and transparency I don't think my wife had even a second of doubt regarding why I had a girl leaving me dirty voice mails.



I whole heartedly recommend marriage. You just need to find someone HIGHLY compatible. If you constantly need to work hard to make it work...she is the wrong girl and you will get divorced.

I'm the same way. I HATE to dig in the woman's purse. And i have never ever checked her phone.

My only stipulation is that if she gets a boyfriend while i'm away overseas or something, he has to help pay the mortgage!! =)

[Lunk1]

I'm the same way. I HATE to dig in the woman's purse. And i have never ever checked her phone.

My only stipulation is that if she gets a boyfriend while i'm away overseas or something, he has to help pay the mortgage!! =)

I always use that line!

[JohnnyVegas]

I wish I had that comfort...I was actually showing the wife this thread this morning and the thngs I posted. We both talked about the phone check thing. She knows it's my own insecurity and doesn't always appreciate it but totaly understands it. It doesn't really create a problem..I never find anything and she thinks I'm a dumb ass for checking lol

I used to have serious jealousy issues. I had to give it up because I was miserable. Good thing I gave it up, because my wife has gone away for two weeks at a time for training to an environment where they do a lot of drinking after hours and I totally trusted her. Those two weeks (which she did once a year for three years) would have completely destroyed me if I was my old self. On the flipside, she had to trust me during those two weeks too. Funny that your wife accepts being checked up on but thinks you are a dumb ass. Heh.

I'm the same way. I HATE to dig in the woman's purse. And i have never ever checked her phone.

My only stipulation is that if she gets a boyfriend while i'm away overseas or something, he has to help pay the mortgage!! =)

Ha! I need to remember that.

My wife and I have promised to divorce before ever having an affair. I know it doesn't really work like that, but I like that we have discussed that it is better to split than betray trust. Plus, we don't have kids, so there is no reason to stay together if we aren't happy.

We both seem to do things to make the other happy without really needing to work at it. That, combined with ten years of trust leads me to believe that we are still on the right track and I would notice if things started to sour. Fingers crossed that I am right.

[SEOINAGE]

Thanks for everyones support, this might be the last you see of me though, i need to delete everything I have said somehow, even after she forgave me and things were going well she got mad last night and then decided to look at stuff all day today that i have said in the past, and of course I have said things that I don't outright mean like she takes it. Like the thread about kate upton and I said I would bang her, meaning of course she is attractive even if she is heavy set. Anyways, I really felt bad at first last week and apologized and things were going great. But her reading more really stupid things i have said and about my past, which she knows my past but the way i have said it on here, now she doesn't want me to come home. And honestly I am furious with her.

[Lunk1]

Thanks for everyones support, this might be the last you see of me though, i need to delete everything I have said somehow, even after she forgave me and things were going well she got mad last night and then decided to look at stuff all day today that i have said in the past, and of course I have said things that I don't outright mean like she takes it. Like the thread about kate upton and I said I would bang her, meaning of course she is attractive even if she is heavy set. Anyways, I really felt bad at first last week and apologized and things were going great. But her reading more really stupid things i have said and about my past, which she knows my past but the way i have said it on here, now she doesn't want me to come home. And honestly I am furious with her.

WOW man...what a fkn roller coaster. You were just talking yesterday about how great she is and her upcoming B-day. Did she not read THAT?
Sounds like issues here that have nothing to do with this site but perhaps it is best to take a break and work on what is important!

[JohnnyVegas]

Hopefully this will also pass. It seems like her fears are unfounded and her reactions are irrational. You can tell her that first bit...don't mention the second bit. Saying the word "irrational" causes more irrational behavior.