Hi. My name is ReX357. I'm an asshole.

**ReX357** · 10-11-2012, 11:01 PM

Welcome to my group of assholes in recovery.

Quick story. Used to be a nice guy. Crazy chick made me hate women. Became an asshole. Got lots of women. Had an awesome gf for 2 years. Cheated on her more than I can count. Why? No idea. Just was on a power trip I guess. Relationship ended. I realized I'm a fkn asshole. Trying to change back to a nicer version of me.

Fast forward 4 months, starting to see this new girl. Trying to be a nice guy again. Have options with other girls but keeping it in my pants to try and stop the cycle. I start feeling like I don't have control of what's going on. Start thinking I'm gonna get skidded. Getting blown off by this chick 4 times in a row in the space of a few days. She feels distant and I try bringing it up and I'm being met with blurry answers and more withdrawal. Decide I'm gonna try something drastic to gain control back and make this girl jealous and hopefully realize she cares a little more than she likes to think.

So I go and hang out with one of the girls from her workplace that she was jealous of. Spend the night with her work staff and that chick knowing fully well that there's one of her friends there texting her the play by play. I'm not doing anything crazy really but I probably come across quite charming. Offer this girl a ride back to her place at the end of the night. Girl I'm seeing's friend sees us leave together. Obviously lets the girl I'm seeing know. (For the record nothing happened with the other girl. I was just playing a little mind game on the one I was currently seeing. Although I could of if I put the effort in).

Long story short, get drilled the next day. Come clean about fkn with her head. She is fkn mad. Let's me know what was going on and finally explains the distancing. Wasn't what I thought it was. Doesn't know if she can let it go. I'm kissing ass right now.

Although we're not in a committed relationship, talks had been initiated. I know it's not like I cheated on her, but she seen an evil side of me and is not liking it.

So yeah, I'm ReX357, and I'm an asshole.

**Wazz** · 10-11-2012, 11:17 PM

Welcome. I'm not here to judge & won't.

Sounds like you've been through the ringer & are having no issues doing it to others. Being honest with your GF was a good thing. So your broke. It doesn't mean you can't be fixed!

Think about it & again, welcome.

**bigZthedestroyer** · 10-11-2012, 11:18 PM

At least your aware your an asshole. That's better then most. IMO if I'm interested in a girl, I'm going to respect her and not do anything to make her think negatively of me. Girls are confusing as hell and sometimes you just have to sit back and be there for them when you can. I hope things work out for you.

**red_hulk** · 10-12-2012, 12:05 AM

Shit dude that's a common story. One stupid bitch will fck up your relationships for a long time

**Bonaparte** · 10-12-2012, 12:35 AM

Well, at least you're conscious of this and trying to do something about it. That's the first step toward improving as a person.

**Honkey_Kong** · 10-12-2012, 06:49 AM

I don't see the problem, Rex. The chick your seeing after being exposed to your game is probably mad at you and yada yada yada, but I bet she wants to win your affection more now. Just don't stop being an asshole half ways through. Then she'll just think she's in control. Just be like "whateva hewa" and not let it bother you. You said it yourself, you're not committed. So don't put her up on a pedestal.

**RaginCajun** · 10-12-2012, 06:50 AM

hello rex!

everyone's got an asshole!

carry on

**kronik420** · 10-12-2012, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by ReX357

Welcome to my group of assholes in recovery.

Quick story. Used to be a nice guy. Crazy chick made me hate women. Became an asshole. Got lots of women. Had an awesome gf for 2 years. Cheated on her more than I can count. Why? No idea. Just was on a power trip I guess. Relationship ended. I realized I'm a fkn asshole. Trying to change back to a nicer version of me.

Fast forward 4 months, starting to see this new girl. Trying to be a nice guy again. Have options with other girls but keeping it in my pants to try and stop the cycle. I start feeling like I don't have control of what's going on. Start thinking I'm gonna get skidded. Getting blown off by this chick 4 times in a row in the space of a few days. She feels distant and I try bringing it up and I'm being met with blurry answers and more withdrawal. Decide I'm gonna try something drastic to gain control back and make this girl jealous and hopefully realize she cares a little more than she likes to think.

So I go and hang out with one of the girls from her workplace that she was jealous of. Spend the night with her work staff and that chick knowing fully well that there's one of her friends there texting her the play by play. I'm not doing anything crazy really but I probably come across quite charming. Offer this girl a ride back to her place at the end of the night. Girl I'm seeing's friend sees us leave together. Obviously lets the girl I'm seeing know. (For the record nothing happened with the other girl. I was just playing a little mind game on the one I was currently seeing. Although I could of if I put the effort in).

Long story short, get drilled the next day. Come clean about fkn with her head. She is fkn mad. Let's me know what was going on and finally explains the distancing. Wasn't what I thought it was. Doesn't know if she can let it go. I'm kissing ass right now.

Although we're not in a committed relationship, talks had been initiated. I know it's not like I cheated on her, but she seen an evil side of me and is not liking it.

So yeah, I'm ReX357, and I'm an asshole.

i can relate to that..

**marcus300** · 10-12-2012, 06:55 AM

You can't change the past but you can put things in motion to change your future behaviour and be the person you want to be. We all have to start somewhere so take the first step forward into a new YOU.

Best of luck

**ReX357** · 10-12-2012, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by Wazz

Welcome. I'm not here to judge & won't.

Sounds like you've been through the ringer & are having no issues doing it to others. Being honest with your GF was a good thing. So your broke. It doesn't mean you can't be fixed!

Think about it & again, welcome.

Not my gf. I really do like the girl and have considered making her it and brought it up to her. But she is just out of a 3 year relationship and it's not exactly like she wants to jump right back into another one. I'm just out of a 2.5 year one myself but I've had a little bit more time since. Like twice the time she's had. There's more to this story but some stuff I can't share. Just complicates a lot of things tho.

**ReX357** · 10-12-2012, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

I don't see the problem, Rex. The chick your seeing after being exposed to your game is probably mad at you and yada yada yada, but I bet she wants to win your affection more now. Just don't stop being an asshole half ways through. Then she'll just think she's in control. Just be like "whateva hewa" and not let it bother you. You said it yourself, you're not committed. So don't put her up on a pedestal.

Man, I know where you're coming from. I'm a player at heart. But this chick might actually be one of the few genuine sweethearts around. And she doesn't play games. I thought she did and that's what lead me to do that to take control back. But it actually wasn't the case. And although we are not committed, I'm trying to break my own cycle of sharing myself between 3-4 girls at a time. It fkn sucks though. Back in the days, I would of just shrugged it off and called another one of the girls that I would of been seeing at the time and could of cared less. This nice guy stuff is not easy because you do kinda become invested into the one person if you don't seek out opportunity everywhere. Bit of a catch 22. Trying to balance it out really.

**ReX357** · 10-12-2012, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by marcus300

You can't change the past but you can put things in motion to change your future behaviour and be the person you want to be. We all have to start somewhere so take the first step forward into a new YOU.

Best of luck

I've actually changed quite a bit since. Straightened a lot of my life out. But sometimes you just go back to what you know works in most situations. Unfortunately, was not the best solution for me since I was more invested in this than if I would of had a couple chicks on the go.

But yeah, I'm a work in progress definitely.

**Lunk1** · 10-12-2012, 07:41 AM

Most ppl would have much fewer problems in life (like this one) if they just remember some of the golden rules we were taught as kids. In this case the one that would apply: Do on to others as you would have others do on to you!

**ReX357** · 10-12-2012, 07:41 AM

So, anybody else wants to share their own stories with the group?

**ReX357** · 10-12-2012, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Most ppl would have much fewer problems in life (like this one) if they just remember some of the golden rules we were taught as kids. In this case the one that would apply: Do on to others as you would have others do on to you!

It's true. But I have some evil thoughts about fkn with women's heads and if I think one is fkn with mine, I take it as a challenge. And that's what happened here.

"Oh yeah? You wanna play? OK. Let me show you how it's played."

Thing is I wasn't getting played. Lesson learned.

**Fllifter** · 10-12-2012, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by kronik420

i can relate to that..

X2 when I was a young buck I dated a girl around 2 years. Needless to say we had a really bad break up then I basically went on a rampage for the next year with the ladies. I then finally started to date a girl. We have been dating on and off for the past four years and I've cheated on her a few times for no good reason ?? Bitche** can mess your head up. I am also a asshole lol

**cherrydrpepper** · 10-12-2012, 08:21 AM

All you can do is grow and get better. If you arent sure where to start you can go to the aas section of the site.

**ReX357** · 10-12-2012, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by Fllifter

X2 when I was a young buck I dated a girl around 2 years. Needless to say we had a really bad break up then I basically went on a rampage for the next year with the ladies. I then finally started to date a girl. We have been dating on and off for the past four years and I've cheated on her a few times for no good reason ?? Bitche** can mess your head up. I am also a asshole lol

Welcome to the group. There is coffee and donuts at the back of the room.

**Wazz** · 10-12-2012, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by ReX357

Not my gf. I really do like the girl and have considered making her it and brought it up to her. But she is just out of a 3 year relationship and it's not exactly like she wants to jump right back into another one. I'm just out of a 2.5 year one myself but I've had a little bit more time since. Like twice the time she's had. There's more to this story but some stuff I can't share. Just complicates a lot of things tho.

OUCH~ Both of you just got out of rather serious long term r-ships! Yeah I wouldn't be carrying any "titles" either. NSA or very casual at most! I'm sure there's a lot more to the story. Gives us a good chance to know you. Good luck friend!

BTW: Never went 2+ years w/ a woman (got married) & had to call it off. Had many, many Soldiers who did & it got fugly! I was actually caring the first few times I heard & had to deal with the fallout. After a few I just told them to put up a wall, seperate that shyte, and suck it up. It helped at work, but don't know how it was personally. It was hard enough keeping them from getting DUIs... Hearing your side (as little as we did) sucks....

**Fllifter** · 10-12-2012, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by ReX357

Welcome to the group. There is coffee and donuts at the back of the room.

Ill take one with sprinkles

I'm fllifter and I'm a recovering asshole

**ReX357** · 10-13-2012, 07:31 AM

So little update. That girl is a hopeless romantic. I left a very nice bouquet of flowers on her doorstep last night with a little cheesy poem. Got a text back last night thanking me for the flowers. I'm not out of the doghouse just yet but things might be looking up.

So next move I'm thinking of doing is learning some basic 2 step dancing. This girl loves dancing and is a country girl. I'm a city boy and I hate country and made that clear. So I think if I make an effort to learn some 2 step and then meet her at a bar one night and wow her with a couple steps, she'll really like that.

Might even go buy a plaid shirt haha.

K go ahead make fun of me for being a wuss lol.

**Honkey_Kong** · 10-13-2012, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by ReX357

Man, I know where you're coming from. I'm a player at heart. But this chick might actually be one of the few genuine sweethearts around. And she doesn't play games. I thought she did and that's what lead me to do that to take control back. But it actually wasn't the case. And although we are not committed, I'm trying to break my own cycle of sharing myself between 3-4 girls at a time. It fkn sucks though. Back in the days, I would of just shrugged it off and called another one of the girls that I would of been seeing at the time and could of cared less. This nice guy stuff is not easy because you do kinda become invested into the one person if you don't seek out opportunity everywhere. Bit of a catch 22. Trying to balance it out really.

So you're just going to commit yourself even if she's not also committed? I wouldn't be too hard on yourself and I wouldn't be consciously trying to break the cycle. From my experience, if she's that great, you'll just stop desiring other girls. You also wont be devising childish plans to make her jealous, when you're ready. So don't put too much effort in changing yourself, it'll come naturally.

And yeah man, I know what you mean about learning to 2-step. I took ballroom lessons for a similar reason. I don't like admitting it, but since this is the internet and nobody will know who i am, I'll admit it's kind of fun to do. What you should do is take lessons with her on it. It gives you two a weekly activity to do besides fvcking and there are tons of other chicks in it to look at (I hope you still intend to window shop).

**ReX357** · 10-13-2012, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

So you're just going to commit yourself even if she's not also committed? I wouldn't be too hard on yourself and I wouldn't be consciously trying to break the cycle. From my experience, if she's that great, you'll just stop desiring other girls. You also wont be devising childish plans to make her jealous, when you're ready. So don't put too much effort in changing yourself, it'll come naturally.

And yeah man, I know what you mean about learning to 2-step. I took ballroom lessons for a similar reason. I don't like admitting it, but since this is the internet and nobody will know who i am, I'll admit it's kind of fun to do. What you should do is take lessons with her on it. It gives you two a weekly activity to do besides fvcking and there are tons of other chicks in it to look at (I hope you still intend to window shop).

Kind of an implied commitment. We've talked about it. We're not official but exclusive if that makes sense.

And yeah straight up, I'm not exactly known to be a sensitive nice guy around my town if you see what I mean. Hate admitting to shit like that haha. So I know where you're coming from.

I wanna make it a surprise that I learned how to 2 step. I'd probably go and take some salsa lessons with her down the road to keep it interesting. A couple of my buddies said it was fun.

**ReX357** · 10-13-2012, 02:20 PM

Well, she called it off today. Lesson learned.

**Gaspari1255** · 10-13-2012, 02:44 PM

So you're an asshole bc you hung out with a girl that she's jealous of? well, tough shit. You did nothing wrong with THIS broad. Women play more mind games on a daily basis than most men do in a lifetime. Fvck em all.

**Gaspari1255** · 10-13-2012, 02:50 PM

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think we've talked before and you're from NJ.....that's the problem right there. NJ women are one of a kind, and not in a good way..

**Bonaparte** · 10-13-2012, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by ReX357

I wanna make it a surprise that I learned how to 2 step. I'd probably go and take some salsa lessons with her down the road to keep it interesting. A couple of my buddies said it was fun.

Meh, you were never official, so it shouldn't be a big deal in any respect.
Chances are, she'll randomly hit you up after she decides that the next guy was worse than you, and you'll be right back where you left off. Women tend to be predictably unpredictable.

**cherrydrpepper** · 10-13-2012, 08:57 PM

There are many fish in the sea

**calgarian** · 10-14-2012, 01:41 AM

Originally Posted by ReX357

Well, she called it off today. Lesson learned.

what do u mean she called it off? she doesnt want to be with you?
Rex what happened to you my man? I know life is tough and you bend over back wards for this girl i probably do the same if I was in the dog house, but for what you did I wouldnt even bother. you should bait them pull and let go pull and let go hence i like the game of chess if you know the next move of your opponent you can win this game,,,,,,,
dude dont go soft here.........you remember what i always used to say? when you are not in one and jut got out of one **** everything and anything for fvck sakes...... a poem ? seriously

**calgarian** · 10-14-2012, 01:42 AM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

There are many fish in the sea

u jut know ho to hook them....cause my fishing rod is big i always ended up cathing BIG fishes ....lol I knew it was coming so i said it myself

**Honkey_Kong** · 10-14-2012, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by ReX357

Well, she called it off today. Lesson learned.

Dude, don't take this the wrong way, but if that's all it took for her to "call it off," she was looking for a reason to get rid of you. You know that "distancing" she did? She was exploring her other options and she lied to you when you confronted her in your story. Chicks do this shit all the time and they look for a reason to make us the "heel." It's not that they're all bad it's that they're conditioned to behave that way and our society allows them to.

The lesson you need to learn from this is broads are all hewas with very few exceptions out there. It's best to assume they're all hewas and treat them as such until they prove you wrong over a long stretch of time. Our biggest flaw as guys is that we get attached to these hewas when we really shouldn't.

And Bronzer, consider your word "hewas" stolen.

**DSM4Life** · 10-14-2012, 07:39 AM

So because someone treated you like shit and make you feel like a scumbag loser now in turn you are treating others just like that girl treated you? I don't think your an asshole i think your hurting but hurting others isn't the answer. Be a man and change your ways.

**kalspic** · 10-14-2012, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

u jut know ho to hook them....cause my fishing rod is big i always ended up cathing BIG fishes ....lol I knew it was coming so i said it myself

cal you cant be busting your own balls. its no fun for the rest of us

**calgarian** · 10-14-2012, 06:39 PM

Rex Now i would go out with the girl she was jealou with ...me just being me.

**calgarian** · 10-14-2012, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by kalspic

cal you cant be busting your own balls. its no fun for the rest of us

ha ha you have to come up with more dirt on me........I knew it was coming so I saved u guys time

**ReX357** · 10-14-2012, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

Dude, don't take this the wrong way, but if that's all it took for her to "call it off," she was looking for a reason to get rid of you. You know that "distancing" she did? She was exploring her other options and she lied to you when you confronted her in your story. Chicks do this shit all the time and they look for a reason to make us the "heel." It's not that they're all bad it's that they're conditioned to behave that way and our society allows them to.

The lesson you need to learn from this is broads are all hewas with very few exceptions out there. It's best to assume they're all hewas and treat them as such until they prove you wrong over a long stretch of time. Our biggest flaw as guys is that we get attached to these hewas when we really shouldn't.

And Bronzer, consider your word "hewas" stolen.

Yeah buddy, I don't think you're wrong. I actually don't give a shit that much. I only had a month invested into this.

Everyone agrees that it is just way over the top of a reaction on her part and most likely a way out. Which I'm OK with. The one thing I hate is being in limbo and at least she was honest. So I'm pretty much moved on already.

**ReX357** · 10-14-2012, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

Rex Now i would go out with the girl she was jealou with ...me just being me.

I'm already on it. This time I'm ****ing her for real lol.

**ReX357** · 10-14-2012, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

what do u mean she called it off? she doesnt want to be with you?
Rex what happened to you my man? I know life is tough and you bend over back wards for this girl i probably do the same if I was in the dog house, but for what you did I wouldnt even bother. you should bait them pull and let go pull and let go hence i like the game of chess if you know the next move of your opponent you can win this game,,,,,,,
dude dont go soft here.........you remember what i always used to say? when you are not in one and jut got out of one **** everything and anything for fvck sakes...... a poem ? seriously

Cal, you're right I was going soft. I upped my AI now lol.

**cherrydrpepper** · 10-15-2012, 12:36 AM

My roommate bangs fat girls. I told him today "bro I have so much respect for you because you will try to get with one fat girl and it won't work out and the next day you are trying to get another fat girl to come over". Ok maybe in my head I said fat girl but when I talked to him I think I just said chick.

**Honkey_Kong** · 10-15-2012, 01:19 AM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

My roommate bangs fat girls. I told him today "bro I have so much respect for you because you will try to get with one fat girl and it won't work out and the next day you are trying to get another fat girl to come over". Ok maybe in my head I said fat girl but when I talked to him I think I just said chick.

HAHAHAHAH A 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2..