Lazy Girlfriend

[Ernst]

Was into diet and fitness when we met? She never goes to the gym anymore. She eats a fair amount of junk, especially for someone who can't afford it. She is now, without a doubt, totally soft and out of shape. Now she's upset that I don't seem attracted to her...

I spent a few hundred and bought her a gym membership to the place I go, down the street. In two months she has gone once. For half an hour. Because I made her. Doesn't work, barely goes to school. House looks like a bomb hit it. WTF?

I've tried being nice and coaxing. Now I hound her constantly about the gym and say no to buying her ice cream at the store. I don't know what to do. This girl always has an excuse to be lazy and it's driving me up a wall. We've already had a couple of talks about this and obviously it doesn't stick.

She's very cool and doesn't judge my life. She's supportive of me.

But this has to stop. I'm reaching the ultimatum point, and we know that's not a good thing.



Suggestions are welcome... I don't know what to do.

[DSM4Life]

Was into diet and fitness when we met? She never goes to the gym anymore. She eats a fair amount of junk, especially for someone who can't afford it. She is now, without a doubt, totally soft and out of shape. Now she's upset that I don't seem attracted to her...

I spent a few hundred and bought her a gym membership to the place I go, down the street. In two months she has gone once. For half an hour. Because I made her. Doesn't work, barely goes to school. House looks like a bomb hit it. WTF?

I've tried being nice and coaxing. Now I hound her constantly about the gym and say no to buying her ice cream at the store. I don't know what to do. This girl always has an excuse to be lazy and it's driving me up a wall. We've already had a couple of talks about this and obviously it doesn't stick.

She's very cool and doesn't judge my life. She's supportive of me.

But this has to stop. I'm reaching the ultimatum point, and we know that's not a good thing.



Suggestions are welcome... I don't know what to do.

She doesn't judge you but its OK for you to judge her? You need to stop being her father. If she wants to eat and get fat its her choice. If you don't like it then leave.

[Tron3219]

U have to do the whole pros and cons thing and ask urself if being lazy is something u can deal with. I personally despise laziness! Being lazy and lazy days are different. If u don't work, u don't clean, u don't cook, don't go to school, not raising children, what are u doing with your life? How old is she?

[Euroholic]

Give her a break bro i suffer from major depression and i use lifting, aas and cocaine to help me with my problems and think more clearly.maybe she is depressed or has some issuies She must use food to help her get through it.

[Ernst]

She's young. Twenty-three.

[Ernst]

She doesn't judge you but its OK for you to judge her? You need to stop being her father. If she wants to eat and get fat its her choice. If you don't like it then leave.

And just desert her?

I'm not always so good at relating to humans, but I do care about her. I didn't make this thread to search for an excuse to leave. I'm asking for advice on how I might reach her and make things better.

[--->>405<<---]

Give her a break bro i suffer from major depression and i use lifting, aas and cocaine to help me with my problems and think more clearly.maybe she is depressed or has some issuies She must use food to help her get through it.

interesting combo. hows that workn out for u? prob wreaking havoc on ur heart dude..

[--->>405<<---]

And just desert her?

I'm not always so good at relating to humans, but I do care about her. I didn't make this thread to search for an excuse to leave. I'm asking for advice on how I might reach her and make things better.

LOL me either man especially female ones! i do NOT see this as u being judgemental. when u meet someone and are attracted to them for who they are and then later down the road they change into something else that u do not like i do NOT consider that being judgemental. u are entitled to ur feelings and dont let anyone tell u differently.

chances are its one of 2 things: 1) she is depressed 2) she was in shape and found a boyfriend and has no reason to stay in shape anymore. some women (and men) do that u know. IMO u should try to figure out which one it is then make a decision based on that. either way u are only dating. dating is NOT marriage and does not constitute the same level of commitment IMO.

be sensitive. good luck!

[DSM4Life]

Maybe your right:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a19_1353079150

[--->>405<<---]

Maybe your right:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a19_1353079150

LMFAO!!! thats some funny stuff rite there! LOL..

[Euroholic]

interesting combo. hows that workn out for u? prob wreaking havoc on ur heart dude..

Well to be hounest sometimes say maybe once a week or so i wake up during the night short of breath but i have no family not alot of friends and my lifes motto is dont fear the reaper so shel be right mate.

[--->>405<<---]

Well to be hounest sometimes say maybe once a week or so i wake up during the night short of breath but i have no family not alot of friends and my lifes motto is dont fear the reaper so shel be right mate.

from the sounds of that logic u must be in ur twenties??

[Euroholic]

from the sounds of that logic u must be in ur twenties??

Yea mate im 24. Getting massive snorting rack and pumping quiff is my lifes goals..

[--->>405<<---]

Yea mate im 24. Getting massive snorting rack and pumping quiff is my lifes goals..

been there done it. u may wanna re-evaluate ur priorities before its too late. dont know if u have considered that there may be an afterlife with consequences that u reap based on what u do here? something to think about man.

[red_hulk]

been there done it. u may wanna re-evaluate ur priorities before its too late. dont know if u have considered that there may be an afterlife with consequences that u reap based on what u do here? something to think about man.

Good advice, you should take into consideration euro.

And OP there's nothing worse than your situation. Ok I'm exaggerating, but it's frustrating. It kind of feels like she tricked you, she worked hard on herself to get you, got comfortable, and began letting herself go. Usually happens after marriage. I'm not married, but I know it's true, especially when you meet a guys wife then see their wedding pic it's enough to make you cry.

But, it could just be a phase. Sometimes it's hard to constantly stay on top of everything! After a long time of doing so you may want a break so your body, grades, and home may suffer. Don't hound her though. You'll come off as a dickens she'll end up leaving you. You say she's cool and she supports you so do the same. Realize important things in a mature relationship (most of the time looks aren't on the list) and if she meets those then she's worth working with.

I had a similar problem, my girl didn't gain any weight, but did get lazy and increase junk food. I'm 23 she's 19. So, I would make comments here and there playfully, but you never know what they take to heart so I cut that out and instead I got her to start working out with me. Not lifting, but go on jogs and do resistance bands and all that. Try and get her excited to workout instead of making it seem like she has to ya know?

[Flagg]

This thread shouldnt be about why Euroholic is snorting a fvck load of blow, 24/7 of his life.

She lacks motivation. And is likely bored, hence why she eats a lot of crap. Lack of motivation plus mild depression leads to laziness. You need to handle it carefully because anything negative would really shatter things.

Do you guys still do stuff together, go to movies, theatre, meals....that sort of things?

[Zodiac82]

women workout bcuz they want to get in shape not Bcuz a man wants them in shape....the underlying route is what needs to be determined and maybe it's just a matter if telling her ur losin ur attraction to her (put nicely) and u don't want that to happen.

[evander87]

She doesn't judge you but its OK for you to judge her? You need to stop being her father. If she wants to eat and get fat its her choice. If you don't like it then leave.

Harsh words but I agree.

You can't control her. You can't make her do something she doesn't want to do. You can only control yourself. Have you talked to her about these feelings? If not that is the first and only thing you can do. If she values your feelings and doesn't have a valid temporary reason then the only thing you can do is decide if this the person and lifestyle you want to invest more of your time into.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum

[Lunk1]

Have you sat down with her and had a MATURE discussion about this?

[GetItHot]

Dtb.

[kronik420]

Harsh words but I agree.

You can't control her. You can't make her do something she doesn't want to do. You can only control yourself. Have you talked to her about these feelings? If not that is the first and only thing you can do. If she values your feelings and doesn't have a valid temporary reason then the only thing you can do is decide if this the person and lifestyle you want to invest more of your time into.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum

what do u mean..

why cant you handcuff someone to a treadmill?

lol

[S&S_ShovelHead]

People have to want to get into shape to do it and maintain it. I've tried to get some of my lazy friends to start working out with me but they never last.

Maybe she just needs a wake up call if you've already talked to her about it a lot and she hasn't changed at all. If you don't want to live the rest of your life in this situation and there's no sign of change I'd tell her you don't want to live like this and maybe spend a few days at a buddy's. hopefully she gets the message if not maybe its better it ends now than 10 up happy years from now.

[spywizard]

she wants out of the relationship, she just doesn't want to be the one to end it..

if she rejects your lifestyle (and the one that she had when she met you) then sorry to say

"she's just not that into you"

time to move her out

[warmouth]

[red_hulk]

<img src="http://forums.steroid.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=129253"/>

It's hammertime?

[Armykid93]

interesting combo. hows that workn out for u? prob wreaking havoc on ur heart dude..

Lol x2. You need some help for sure dude. Your going to die extremely young

And to the op. Id say try and find why this motivation is gone. Sounds extreme to me with the whole lifestyle change. Find out what's eating her to the point she's lost all motivation for everything

[Shsm]

Give her a break bro i suffer from major depression and i use lifting, aas and cocaine to help me with my problems and think more clearly.maybe she is depressed or has some issuies She must use food to help her get through it.

Zyzz 2.0

[< <Samson> >]

Sounds quite similar to my situation.

Yet, I am quite a bit deeper in. We have a kid together the house is under both names.

But,the biggest part that is the same is that she does nothing for herself. The house is clean, but as far as taking care of her self. . . . . .

She barely goes to the gym(of course which I pay for). Eats garbage then asks me why she doesn't lose weight. She'll seriously only go a half of day eating well, then say I need real food **** it gimme money for a pizza. < < BS

Along with: Why do we not have mad sex like we did back in the day? Well. . . . . Then of course she gets mad.


The sucky thing is that it makes me look at other strange much more. I feel like if the timing is right I won't be able to help myself. Makes me sad in a way, I can't be a scumbag dad and just bounce out.

It's like she's losing her intelligence. It doesn't make sense to me, she'll just ask me the same shit over and over. Why can't I lose weight? What do I have to eat to lose weight? - - - - - I'm gonna go get a pizza, you want something

[red_hulk]

Try slipping some clen into her drinks

[AdrenalineJunkie]

Try slipping some clen into her drinks

Then shes going to think shes dying...Hunnie, why I am having these mild 6 hour long seizures?!? We need to go to the hospital!

[kronik420]

Try slipping some clen into her drinks

lol

but i think this + my idea of handcuffing her to a treadmill will get her back into shape

[lstbred]

I suspect there's something going on with her, you should find out what it is. Dont "what the hell is wrong with you?" or "get over it" or make stupid comments like "you used to be skinny and werent lazy" that will not help at all and probably make it worse. Remember this is NOT about you, find out what she needs and try to help, if you really like/love her you will, and ultimatums never work. If you find that it's something you cant fix or deal with or gets to a point you just cant do it any more, you can honestly and confidently say to yourself "I tried and it just didnt work"

[Times Roman]

trying to change someone to meet your expectations never seems to work.....

....the only thing you can truly change is yourself. You can either:

1) put up with it, or
2) leave her

but either way, you shouldn't come here and disrespect your woman.

[Ernst]

trying to change someone to meet your expectations never seems to work.....

....the only thing you can truly change is yourself. You can either:

1) put up with it, or
2) leave her

but either way, you shouldn't come here and disrespect your woman.

Hence the anonymous forum and not hashing this out among friends...



We've had talks about it. Still short on action.

[kronik420]

either way, it's up to you.

personally id leave her...

IMO and also what someone else posted above, she probably gets into shape to get a BF and then once she has one, figures there's no point in staying in shape...

speaking of staying in shape, im off to the gym

[Times Roman]

Hence the anonymous forum and not hashing this out among friends...



We've had talks about it. Still short on action.

yeah, maybe you're right. It's funny, even though I don't know many of the members names, after awhile, it stops feeling anonymous and becomes more of a community. But you are really right, this place is a place where we can come and vent without involving others close to you.

Thanks for setting me straight.

---Roman

[lovbyts]

Lucky you are finding out about it now, better sooner than later. Most women and men wait until they are married but sometimes the true colors show themselves sooner. Don't expect it to get better, typically it only gets worse. Yeah I hear what everyone is saying about maybe this or maybe that but you should know in your own life all those maybe's are only excuses and it's up to her to do something about it.

[GirlyGymRat]

EHA - is the change sudden or slow? any major changes in your relationship? her friends? her family? It doesn't make sense to me...she was lazy when you first met?

[Times Roman]

Lucky you are finding out about it now, better sooner than later. Most women and men wait until they are married but sometimes the true colors show themselves sooner. Don't expect it to get better, typically it only gets worse. Yeah I hear what everyone is saying about maybe this or maybe that but you should know in your own life all those maybe's are only excuses and it's up to her to do something about it.

It took my woman two children and twenty years of being wiith me before she finally began to gain weight. That was about eight years ago. It's extremely difficult to determine how one will act 20 years from now. if she's acting like this withing the first few months/years......?

[lovbyts]

It took my woman two children and twenty years of being wiith me before she finally began to gain weight. That was about eight years ago. It's extremely difficult to determine how one will act 20 years from now. if she's acting like this withing the first few months/years......?

Very true but I'm sure as most would agree typically it gets worse, not better. Very few decide to start getting in shape and exercising more AFTER they get married. For most it's all about attracting the other person but once you get them they stop all/most of those things just like you hear so many guys complain about (not from personal experience) no sex, no oral or the typical gaining weight after marriage. Do you ever here how she lost weight, got in shape, starting giving head or more sex after marriage? I'm sure it happens, 1/1000 maybe vs the other way around.

I'm just saying if this is the trend dont expect it to get better.