Talking to the EX

**Shsm** · 11-19-2012, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by Doont-Hunter

I feel you bro. I got dumped a few hours earlier today. Feel like shit so I've just been hanging around on these forums. I found out through one of her friends earlier today that she was hooking up with her ex in a club on Friday night and she apparently went home with him. The fact she came over the next day (Saturday) and told me that her night was good and she went home early because she felt sick has made me feel even more shit. So she just dumped me for her ex. I don't really know what to do, but I feel you bro.

You shouldn't tie yourself into a relationship at your age anyways my dude. These are the best years of our lives. Go out to the club, grind with some random girl, finger blast her, take her back to your place...have fun. Those hot girls with the Australian accents are killer...

**Doont-Hunter** · 11-19-2012, 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by Shsm

You shouldn't tie yourself into a relationship at your age anyways my dude. These are the best years of our lives. Go out to the club, grind with some random girl, finger blast her, take her back to your place...have fun. Those hot girls with the Australian accents are killer...

Yep. I've only really had two proper relationships and both times I got dumped lol. And I swear I haven't done a thing wrong. The first one said I spent too much time in the gym, studying and wanting to hang out with my mates. I said if she couldn't like me for who I was and accept the things that I love doing then she should find someone else. Guess she took that literally and left and found someone else within a month.

I think I'm just gonna enjoy the single life for the time being. Just do what I want - go clubbing, festivals, study hard, gym hard and do everything I want to. Are you American? Do you find Australian girls hot lol? Some of them are, but I don't find them attractive for their accents haha.

**canesfan804** · 11-19-2012, 09:19 AM

Told you what to do..... bang the friend that told you. It will make you feel sooooo much better. Also tell her that your ex never did it that good. Then give it to her a couple more times before she leaves.

Originally Posted by Doont-Hunter

I feel you bro. I got dumped a few hours earlier today. Feel like shit so I've just been hanging around on these forums. I found out through one of her friends earlier today that she was hooking up with her ex in a club on Friday night and she apparently went home with him. The fact she came over the next day (Saturday) and told me that her night was good and she went home early because she felt sick has made me feel even more shit. So she just dumped me for her ex. I don't really know what to do, but I feel you bro.

**canesfan804** · 11-19-2012, 09:24 AM

Lunk hits the nail on the head once again. Couldnt have said it better.

Originally Posted by Lunk1

SS...sit her down and explain how happy you are that she is so honest with you and that you feel you should be equally as honest. Then tell her you care sooo much for her that the thought of her speaking to another man, especially one that she had any sort of relationship with, just drives you insane. Tell her how much you trust her but that it brings out the insecurity you feel that you could possibly lose her. Do all of this with a half sad, puppy dog look and if you can squeeze a tear out, even better.

All of this while thinking balh blah blah and reviewing porn in the back of your head

**Lunk1** · 11-19-2012, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by MuscleInk

Well.....you know, there is a fine line between persistance and perseveration. The latter is indicative of response repetition or the inability to undertake set shifting (changing of goals, tasks or activities) as required, and is evidenced by behaviours such as words and gestures continuing to be repeated despite absence or cessation of a stimulus. Clinically it implies brain trama, injury, or a neurological disorder.

I'll keep a closer eye on you in case you start drooling or "pill rolling".

You sure do talk purtty!

**Lunk1** · 11-19-2012, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by S&S_ShovelHead

I did that and I can tell she feels really bad about it and in her defence she isnt the smartest thing on earth and I do believe it was a lapse in judgement.

Besides a few minor things she has given no reason not to trust her, and I havn`t been a saint either. Was more just wondering if it was my trust issues that were making something out of nothing. This is my first ltr and all this shit is new to me, tren aint helping either. If he wasnt 7 hours away I would have drove to his houseand shoved my foot so far up his ass he`d lick the soles clean.

Dude...I been married to the same women for over 20 yrs. She has NEVER given me 1 single reason to not trust her. I have had trust issues from the moment we got together, nothing to do with her, it's all me. I have gone through her phone, her emails, her FB. She never locks anything or hides anything and yet my mind playes horrible tricks on me from time to time. It has caused huge arguments and in the end for NO reason other than my own insecurity! It's important to realize this in order to deal with it and combat it.
Yes being on AAS (tren for sure) makes it worse. Keep things in perspective! If she has never given cause for you to question her...then don't! In the long run you will suffer for it the most!

Open communication is crusial and as well as a firm understanding of how strong the mind is! Find outlets to help take your mind off of the stupid shyt when it comes up. Remind yourself that it's you and NOT her and that your on cycle. This is keeping perspective!

That will be $200...please pay the receptionist on your way out. Thank you!

**red_hulk** · 11-19-2012, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Dude...I been married to the same women for over 20 yrs. She has NEVER given me 1 single reason to not trust her. I have had trust issues from the moment we got together, nothing to do with her, it's all me. I have gone through her phone, her emails, her FB. She never locks anything or hides anything and yet my mind playes horrible tricks on me from time to time. It has caused huge arguments and in the end for NO reason other than my own insecurity! It's important to realize this in order to deal with it and combat it.
Yes being on AAS (tren for sure) makes it worse. Keep things in perspective! If she has never given cause for you to question her...then don't! In the long run you will suffer for it the most!

Open communication is crusial and as well as a firm understanding of how strong the mind is! Find outlets to help take your mind off of the stupid shyt when it comes up. Remind yourself that it's you and NOT her and that your on cycle. This is keeping perspective!

That will be $200...please pay the receptionist on your way out. Thank you!

Good advice bro, but keep in mind he said she had been caught deleting texts and whatnot beforei

**Lunk1** · 11-19-2012, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by red_hulk

Good advice bro, but keep in mind he said she had been caught deleting texts and whatnot beforei

Even this should be "kept in perspective". he didn't say text from an ex or another guy. He simply said caught deleting text in the past! What does that mean? I delete texts all the time! If my wife is there when I delete a text from a coworker is that "being caught"? Does she NOT have the right to clear her inbox?

He also admitted he has been no saint! Seems like open communication is needed if this relationship is to be successful!

**red_hulk** · 11-19-2012, 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Even this should be "kept in perspective". he didn't say text from an ex or another guy. He simply said caught deleting text in the past! What does that mean? I delete texts all the time! If my wife is there when I delete a text from a coworker is that "being caught"? Does she NOT have the right to clear her inbox?

He also admitted he has been no saint! Seems like open communication is needed if this relationship is to be successful!

Very true. I'm confused how you get caught deleting something. Cause it's gone afterward lol. So you saw it before it got deleted and it wasn't serious? Idk, to me, it's a delicate topic cause handling it wrong will only make you look bad. I tend to over-analyze and think myself crazy and end up blowing things out of proportion

**AdrenalineJunkie** · 11-19-2012, 10:23 AM

This hits home for me too and I personally hate it. When I break up with someone I part ways and leave that person in the past where they belong. I don't see the need to stay in contact with an ex, even if it's harmless it has ZERO positive impact on your current relationship so what's the point. I recently found out my girl still talks to her ex from time to time, and typically I might be like whatever and shrug it off, but she bold face lied to me that she hadn't been talking to him and that's what set me off. I understand her reasoning and I do trust this girl to do the right thing, but I hate the fact she lied about. I suppose it comes down to trust and the situation bro. I'm just as uneasy about it myself so I know where you're coming from.

**JohnnyVegas** · 11-19-2012, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by MuscleInk

I guess it's my age but I've out grown the drama crap. If my gf/wife feels she needs to find romance elsewhere then either (1) I'm not paying enough attention to her or (2) she's just lost interest in me/us. If its the first case, then hopefully I'd correct the issue before it became a real problem. In the second case.....she can pack her stuff and leave. I'm too tired of relationship mind games anymore.

You and me both. This is EXACTLY the way I handle my relationships now. I give my wife tons of attention and she knows I love her. I like to think I am doing a good job. If not, she needs to tell me. If what I do isn't enough and she finds someone else, then it just wasn't meant to be.

Having said that, I would discourage my wife from being friends with a long-term ex not because of her intentions, but because of his. I would never forbid my wife to do anything, that is not the relationship we have. Hopefully your girl lives up to your expectations. If not, she is not the girl for you.

**Lunk1** · 11-19-2012, 11:45 AM

DEAR ADMIN: Please change the title under JV's name to Dr. Phil

Always the best relationship advice from this guy!

**Doont-Hunter** · 11-19-2012, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by canesfan804

Told you what to do..... bang the friend that told you. It will make you feel sooooo much better. Also tell her that your ex never did it that good. Then give it to her a couple more times before she leaves.

I shouldn't go down to her level though and do a dog act. Just shows I'm as much of a sad **** as her. Her friend is really hot though but she's the talkative type. Dunno if she'd spill it out to my ex and risk her friendship with her, but we'll see lol.

**JohnnyVegas** · 11-19-2012, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

DEAR ADMIN: Please change the title under JV's name to Dr. Phil

Always the best relationship advice from this guy!

Bwahaahaaha!

I read several books between my first and second marriage. Tried a lot of it out while dating. Found a woman that I am incredibly compatible with and couldn't be happier. Some of it is good planning and some of it is just stupid luck.

**gearbox** · 11-19-2012, 07:37 PM

When you find someone you are truly compatible with you will definitely know it. It still takes work, listening, patience, and love but she will be doing the same and she will be worth it

**S&S_ShovelHead** · 11-19-2012, 09:53 PM

Thanks for all the advice. When I think about everything logically, I do trust her. I decided to just trust her 100% cause be snooping through her shit and wondering if she's cheating just leads to me getting angry and taking it out on her which will eventually drive her away. Thanks again, some wise old timers here.

**Lunk1** · 11-19-2012, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by S&S_ShovelHead

Thanks for all the advice. When I think about everything logically, I do trust her. I decided to just trust her 100% cause be snooping through her shit and wondering if she's cheating just leads to me getting angry and taking it out on her which will eventually drive her away. Thanks again, some wise old timers here.

I hope I'm not in that catagory but it sounds like you have made an excellent decision in how to handle a delicite situation! I think in the end you will both be happier and more at peace if you can manage this!

**JohnnyVegas** · 11-19-2012, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by S&S_ShovelHead

Thanks for all the advice. When I think about everything logically, I do trust her. I decided to just trust her 100% cause be snooping through her shit and wondering if she's cheating just leads to me getting angry and taking it out on her which will eventually drive her away. Thanks again, some wise old timers here.

Ha! You called Lunk "old."

But seriously, you should be all in on this one. If she does something wrong it should be like a sucker punch because you had total trust in her. I don't touch my wife's phone, purse or go in her closet. I don't even mess around on her side of the bathroom.

My wife and I have an agreement (that I hope we would both keep) to divorce before cheating. I would take it better if my wife said she didn't like me any more than to find out she didn't like me any more AND had been screwing someone else. Lesser of two evils, for sure.