Top 10 ways to be the "funny guy" at the office

[Pete235]

10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they
don't, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you
the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how
you're just kidding and tell them that they are all a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the
meeting, put one finger in the air and make like you
are hocking up a big loogie. Then spit the custard into a clear glass
and hand it to the person next to you and say,
"Beat that."

7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then
piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good "ass fucking."

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand
down your pants.

5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know!" Then call
the person a racial slur that doesn't even
match their race.

4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your
nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's
hand.

3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees
it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up,
and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell,
"It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then, when it stops, look
down and say, "Oh."

1. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Bring it to the bathroom and stick it in
your ass. Return it and tell the person to
smell it. When they tell you it smells bad, be like, "It should! I had
it in my ass!"

[Pete235]

Just a little disclaimer...you all know how dead set against racisim or discrimination I am, so take this in the manner it is meant to be taken, tongue in cheek, as it is a cut and paste...not an original list.

[956Vette]

That was hilarious Pete!

[usualsuspect]

LMFAO!

I have to try some of those...

[ripped4fsu]

Originally posted by Pete235

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand
down your pants.

2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell,
"It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then, when it stops, look
down and say, "Oh."

[BigGreen]

I know people type LOL as a knee-jerk response of sorts...kinda saying "that was funny" in shorthand. But I truly did "laugh out loud" while reading those. Now I actually want a job after school...simply so i can put these to the test.

[BIG TEXAN]

10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they
don't, and then punch them in the face.

Did it.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you
the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how
you're just kidding and tell them that they are all a bunch of queers.

Did it

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the
meeting, put one finger in the air and make like you
are hocking up a big loogie. Then spit the custard into a clear glass
and hand it to the person next to you and say,
"Beat that."

Did it

7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then
piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good "ass fucking."

Did it

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand
down your pants.

Did it

5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know!" Then call
the person a racial slur that doesn't even
match their race.

Did it


4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your
nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's
hand.

Did it

3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees
it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up,
and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

In the process of doing it

2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell,
"It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then, when it stops, look
down and say, "Oh."

Did it yesterday

1. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Bring it to the bathroom and stick it in
your ass. Return it and tell the person to
smell it. When they tell you it smells bad, be like, "It should! I had
it in my ass!"

Uuummmm......no.......





Thanks Pete....it took me a few minutes to quit laughing at these....

[Pete235]

I know!! When I read it I was literally laughing all by myself.

[palme]

Hehe i see Pete before me running with his dick out spraying pee all over the office corridor and innocent bystenders, screaming "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!"

[Pete235]

This is too funny not to bump!

[tt333]

#5 is the best

[TheMudMan]

3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up,
and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

That one is good!

[novicemarine]

I wonder what kinda discharge I would get for that stuff! Medical, Other than honorable, or Dishonorable...