Embarassed and Pissed OFF

[songdog]

Have you ever been so pissed off you started to shake? Well thats how I feel right now! My wife has 2 boyz one is a real nice kid in collage and works full time.As a kid if he wanted something he would ask me wat can I do to earn this?This is how he was and fun to be around.When he graduated from HS I bought him his 1st car.Now his older brother is like the Spawn from Satan.Quit school wont work moved out beacuse he didnt like the rules of the house.NO DRUGS! I give this kid 3 bows for hunting 2 of them worth over 1500.00 they were rigged ready to go.He sold them all.I have never seen a kid act like he was so deserving.So finally I told my wife he gets nothing more expensive.Truth be told I wouldnt allow him around the house beacuse he stole things.And I never let anyone motherfuk me.Which he did a few times.Well Xmas comes and he drops by without a invite.But I am cool about it.My wife gives me the look and the talk.So she gives him his gift a sweater.He then says where is the rest of my gifts? She explains that she isnt buying so he can sell things.Well thats when he got brave and disrespected her.He flew up againest the door and I told him it was time to leave.After mother fukin me walking backwards.He jumps in a car cuz I am running at him.He tears off down the road in a frieds car.Mind you now he has no drivers lic.Fast forward 2yrs he is a snitch now beacuse the cops got him by the ash.Then he refuses to do it any more and they have a guy wear a wire against him.Busted in jail now its everyones fault but his.He gets out under his mothers care.And against my wishes brings him home.I now rent a duplex with my landlord upstairs.Well within a week he is messing up.Not coming home on time so I tell her he is got to go.With in 1 week he is stoned and shooting at the tires of cars.Busted again now he sits in jail and is always asking for shit.she has me get him 100.00 of food then asks for another hundred so he can have phone service.I want to ring his scrany lil neck.Sorry had to rant!

[lovbyts]

She needs to stop being his co dependent or he will end up dead. If she does not let him go so he will learn a lesson of consequences she will only have one son soon enough. Explain this to her. It's called tough love.

[songdog]

Oh we have had that that talk many times.And the thing is I dont disrespect no one.And I dont take it NEVER! And its come to the point I hate this kid.Hell he is 23 and still dont know nothing but how to hussle people.

[EyE]

DANG! thats kinda messed up, I used to misbehave..................but within reason.........boys will be boys and all...........................but dang........sorry you have to deal with that. Best of luck to you. I hope it gets better.

[Rwy]

Sorry to hear your pain Snoop. I know all about the enabling form the parents.

My brother suffers from depression and wont get help. My father is in complete denial and basically lets him stay in his room all day and night (32) and gives him whatever he wants. Constantly bailing him out of sticky situation.

The kid is still young. I know guys who made a lot of mistakes and finally come around. Its obvious this kid is going to lead an average life at best. Just keep trying ti support your wife its not an easy situation for a parent.

[lovbyts]

Hopefully a good beat down will knock some sense into him because undoubtedly he will be getting one soon and if that doesnt help probably nothing will and he will head down a dark path of life. Sounds like he may be a regular at county and eventually the big house.

[cherrydrpepper]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems or rather someone elses problems becoming your problems. For me personally I would be lost without the gym and the AA program. The kid definitely needs something this is a crappy road he is going down.

[songdog]

He is in the big house.He shouldve been there long ago.And yes I hope he gets his ash beat.He wats to be a badass but is scared of everything.He cant even handle the dark.Hell he go deer hunting and before the prime time came.Right before dark he would be at the house.I personally think he was on the tit to long.Big mouth no ash.He is in for a big lesson.There were 2 stabbings there last week.And word is out that he is a snitch.So you know wats going to happen.And being the lil bitch he is.He tells his mother everything and how scared he is.Like she needs to hear that.There comes a time when you just got to man up.

[Rwy]

Sounds like he suffered form not having a male figure in the house at a crucial time in his life.

[songdog]

Sounds like he suffered form not having a male figure in the house at a crucial time in his life.

His father spoiled him and was to easy on him.And he admitts it.You can do everything for a kid.But once he is out of your sight.You can only hope they make the right decisions.Many dont some learn to others are forever to be lost.Anyone can find a excuse to be messed up.But a man will stand on his two feet.And not look for the easy way out or someone else to blame.Some people are like this I guess.

[bigZthedestroyer]

Sorry y'all are having to deal with that. I have some family members like that..it's always a headache.

[Honkey_Kong]

Hey Songdog, you and his mother both tried. You gave him plenty of opportunities to start over and he chose not to. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Try not to let it bother you, but you need to get his mother on the same page as you.

[likelifting]

Good luck Songdog. Sorry you have to go through it.

Hope you and his mom can be on the same page about every conversation you have with him. I think thats the first step.

just my 2 cents.

[songdog]

No there isnt no same page.Today we went shopping for the convict.I dropped 100.00 bucks.Then she asks for another 90.00 so he can have a phone.You know I can understand her not wanting me to say anything bad about him.And this is really hard but when she asks me to drop a couple hundred on someone I really hate.I am so mad I am shakin.No sleep tonite!

[likelifting]

Hang in there Songdog. This too shall pass. Not soon enough for you, but tough through this.

[cherrydrpepper]

No there isnt no same page.Today we went shopping for the convict.I dropped 100.00 bucks.Then she asks for another 90.00 so he can have a phone.You know I can understand her not wanting me to say anything bad about him.And this is really hard but when she asks me to drop a couple hundred on someone I really hate.I am so mad I am shakin.No sleep tonite!

Not trying to be funny here but does he qualify for a so called obama phone (these phones have been around since one of the bush eras). Also he can probably get an EBT card by simply going online and applying would take about 20-30 minutes and give him 200 dollars a month for food. Just saying if someone has to pay and its looking like it might be you maybe use a government program.

[t-dogg]

Sorry to hear this man. And people wonder why I dont want kids.

[Euroholic]

Tell your wife how you feel bro. If that pisses her off then maybe you and her are not compatible. You dont want to live your life being angry. You should not have to put up with someone you hate just because its your wifes child. Tell your wife that she has to make a choice between you or a low life criminal. Might sound a bit Extreme but this kid is really none of your concern but yet he is ruining your life.

This has always angered me how some people let love blind them that much that they over look the wrongs of there family.

[cherrydrpepper]

Have you tried taking hisass to the gym and to church

[The Bear 79]

Give him to me, I love these tough guys.

I pretty effective at getting them to change their tune in short order, & I never have to last a hand on em.

[Armykid93]

Its frustrating when someone acts like a complete sh!!tbag, then blames everybody else. Some of my family is this way. And part of the reason it hasn't stopped is because people enable it. So crazy.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this dude. Pretty damn frustrating

[The Bear 79]

If there are no drug charges or felonies on his record, toss his ass in the military.

[largerthannormal]

I fear I will be in your same boat in a few years. My fiance has 2 kids , one with ADHD and I do everything for him, very unappreciative. bought him bows and such just like you

did he have father issues, as a child? I am guessing they are not your kids, biologically?

There has to be something blocking his view of what you guys do for him. usually when this happens it doesnt get better until he hits rock bottom... apparently hes not there yet. I would hope its a long phase.

[largerthannormal]

hahaha BEAR I am right there with ya!! i have to because the fiances kids are not mine.. but I am very effective without being physical!!

Give him to me, I love these tough guys.

I pretty effective at getting them to change their tune in short order, & I never have to last a hand on em.

[RaginCajun]

damn songdog, looks like you are about to snap!

next time, just those bows down here, i am in the market for one and will put it to good use!

hope it gets better with time bud

[songdog]

If there are no drug charges or felonies on his record, toss his ass in the military.

He is doing 8 yrs I thought him being gone would be a good thing.Now she wants to camp up north all summer not far from the jail.I drew that line fuk no.Even if he didnt have a felony.He wouldnt last a day in the Cub Scouts beacuse he dont like orders.

[songdog]

I fear I will be in your same boat in a few years. My fiance has 2 kids , one with ADHD and I do everything for him, very unappreciative. bought him bows and such just like you

did he have father issues, as a child? I am guessing they are not your kids, biologically?

There has to be something blocking his view of what you guys do for him. usually when this happens it doesnt get better until he hits rock bottom... apparently hes not there yet. I would hope its a long phase.

No they arent mine.But I dont mind helping a person so long as they help themselfs.He dont the other boy is great we are real close.Well he is upset at me for jumping his ass about not saving money.He blew his money on clothes.So I told him its hard to fix your car with clothes.And to fix this problem now! I want to see 1000.00 in the bank by June!

[songdog]

damn songdog, looks like you are about to snap!

next time, just those bows down here, i am in the market for one and will put it to good use!

hope it gets better with time bud

Yes 2 of them were top of the like Bow Techs.I use to get a new one every year That was before I got hurt.

[lovbyts]

I know it's tough and I'm sure the Mrs. is going to throw a fit but YOU are going to have to also say NO to her on giving him the money for food, phone and xxx. Let him eat what they give him. Why does he need to call anyone. Deprive him of all privileges and he might not want to go back.

I know you are trying to do the right thing and you have the right idea and attitude but you also have to be a little tougher with the wife. May not be getting any for a while so you had better jump on her before breaking the news. lol Maybe do it over a nice romantic dinner out to soften the blow so she doesn't thing it's about her.

[songdog]

Yeah I have said this over and over.He dont need nothing! Between her and his father and he is fed up with it.Believe me I am taking steps.Getting a new bank card.Shes got my # so she takes it.You know no one wants to see me get mad! But everyone wants to push you till you snap.

[marcus300]

Sorry to hear this songdog, you sound like your going through hell.

You will sort, you will feel better about this situation and things may have to get worse before they can get better but I have faith things will trun around and you will find the answer

keep strong and dont let anyone drag you down, fight and dont let anyone break down your emotions

best of luck

[diesel101]

I had a nephew that pulled the same shit for years until he ended up in the big house for 3 years( a Very rough 3 years).He turned his life around after he got out and is
doing very well for himself and treating others with respect.Sometimes it takes a major screw up to make some people open their eyes.

[Lunk1]

If he is serving time..he has everything he needs! Walk away!!!!

[--->>405<<---]

If he is serving time..he has everything he needs! Walk away!!!!

i agree with this here! he doesnt NEED phone privileges and he doesnt NEED commissary.. tell ur wife to quit fueling and feeding his manipulation tactics and let him be. best thing for him IMO. if u want to communicate let him make collect calls to the house and write letters.. this kid needs to learn. sounds like hes still trying to manipulate from inside..

[Lunk1]

i agree with this here! he doesnt NEED phone privileges and he doesnt NEED commissary.. tell ur wife to quit fueling and feeding his manipulation tactics and let him be. best thing for him IMO. if u want to communicate let him make collect calls to the house and write letters.. this kid needs to learn. sounds like hes still trying to manipulate from inside..

God NO on the collect calls..they are extra high from jail...like 5 or 6 bucks a minute lol! Stamps are cheap and he gets free pencils and paper!

[>Good Luck<]

Damn songdog, sorry to hear about this... No need for me to try and advise because u already know what needs to be done. I just really hope he doesn't get gotten to in there and wind up dead. I know snitches are ad good as dead in the big house, so he's in for a ride. If I could give any advice, I'd say tell her to request protective custody for him. It's not much better but he'll have a better chance of surviving his term and not coming out even more fukt up. Sometime they choose to own a snitch instead of killing them. They get owned and traded for cigarettes or whatever the owner need... And being raped often makes a screwed up person even worse... What a shitty situation

[songdog]

If he is serving time..he has everything he needs! Walk away!!!!

My exact words.Thank God he can only get 2 packages a year.I agreed to that against my better judgement.Beacuse I dont want a war here.His father isnt going to send him money.Beacuse you have to pay his fine off 1st.Now I read 1 of his letters and he is indebt to someone already.Well I told him before he left to pratice safe sex.Beacuse I knew he would end up someones bitch.Big mouth no ass isnt a good combo in jail.Batter up!

[Rwy]

His father spoiled him and was to easy on him.And he admitts it.You can do everything for a kid.But once he is out of your sight.You can only hope they make the right decisions.Many dont some learn to others are forever to be lost.Anyone can find a excuse to be messed up.But a man will stand on his two feet.And not look for the easy way out or someone else to blame.Some people are like this I guess.

My parents got it right 3/4 kids btu I have no clue what happened with my brother. I am visting them right now he has been in his bedroom all day

[MickeyKnox]

If he is serving time..he has everything he needs! Walk away!!!!

This right here.

I wouldn't have lasted as long as you though SD. Hats off to you for your patience.

[GirlyGymRat]

sometimes (most times) ppl have to hit rock bottom b4 they figure it out for themselves. and you shouldn't be embarrassed. you doing what you can for someone. just don't let this relationship strain the most important one you have with your wife. hang in there!