Originally Posted by
Times Roman
Damn my friend,
That's a real tough one. I don't want you to do what I would do, as my woman is different than yours, and we each have our own "environment" in which we must live.
But here's the thoughts that run through my head, and how they relate to me and my past.
Before I got married, I was into meth somewhat, and drank. Maybe once or twice a month, and would drink on the weekends. I told her before we got married, that she marries me for better or worse, and not to try and change me, else it will back fire on her and make it worse. So she was pretty good about that. I eventually did stop the street "partiables" but continue to drink to this day. In fact, im sippping on some wine right now.
I don't like ultimatums. When some one gives me an ultimatum, the short hairs on the back of my neck prickle, and i have a tendency to get impulsive, sometimes saying things I wish I hadn't. In the past, I've been given an ultimatum. I look at it like it's a bluff, and would deliver a counter ultimatum, which evens up the score. If a friend were to give me an ultimatum, I'd say fine, do what you must, and that would be that. With my woman, there are other psychological tactics to counter the ultimatum. And when you get right down to it, and ultimatum is really a game that people play. A dangerous game, but a game none the less. If she really loved you and were totally straight and direct, then she would leave you, and not the other way around. of course, she is trying to change you, which usually never works well in the long term.
So my question to you is this. if she is wanting to affect such a big change from you, what is she willing to do for you in return? Besides not kick you out again is what i mean.
I could see if you were regularly drunk, or a mean drunk. But if you are just at home drinking, i'm really not sure what the problem is? how else is it affecting her? lack of sex? not doing enough around the house? problem snorer and she can't sleep? pissing in the bed?
see, it sounds like your drinking is very similar to my drinking. I like to drink on the weekend, so that means about once a week for me. if i snore too loud, my woman takes her ass down to sofa down stairs and gets some sleep that way. the only thing negative when i drink is i have a tendency to go to bed early.
but since she is playing such a dangerous game, you have to ask yourself if you decide to stop drinking, will you be happy with yourself down the road for being pushed into a decision where your options were very limited?
I think, for me, this would fukc with my mind somewhat and i would have a tendency to resent her for making me make such a decision, especially if my drinking really didn't cause much problem other than she doesn't like it.
Now, forget everything I just said!
Good luck!
-R
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be cautious n go easy ! ...crazy mike
