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Thread: Chuck Norris Facts

  1. 03-02-2013, 08:04 PM #81
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    Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.
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  2. 03-02-2013, 08:04 PM #82
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    In the movie 'Titanic', Chuck Norris has a brief cameo as 'The Iceberg'.
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  3. 03-02-2013, 08:05 PM #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capebuffalo View Post
    Building up your post count KP
    Once Chuck Norris facts were doubled up in a single post... that postee was never seen again
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  4. 03-02-2013, 08:06 PM #84
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    Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
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  5. 03-02-2013, 08:06 PM #85
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    They're making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck Norris. Its called 1
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  6. 03-02-2013, 08:06 PM #86
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    He can kick you in the back of the face. Think about that...
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  7. 03-02-2013, 08:07 PM #87
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    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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  8. 03-02-2013, 08:07 PM #88
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    Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
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  9. 03-02-2013, 08:08 PM #89
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    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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  10. 03-02-2013, 08:08 PM #90
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    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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  11. 03-02-2013, 08:08 PM #91
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    Chuck likes his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns.
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  12. 03-02-2013, 08:09 PM #92
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    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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  13. 03-02-2013, 08:10 PM #93
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    Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
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  14. 03-02-2013, 08:10 PM #94
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    Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is an optical illusion. His right foot doesn't swing around and hit your head, his left foot spins the earth so that your head hits his foot.
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  15. 03-02-2013, 08:11 PM #95
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    When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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  16. 03-02-2013, 08:11 PM #96
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    Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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  17. 03-02-2013, 08:11 PM #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knockout_Power
    When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
    Why don't you just link the site you're copy and pasting from
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  18. 03-02-2013, 08:12 PM #98
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    Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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  19. 03-02-2013, 08:12 PM #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by >Good Luck< View Post
    Why don't you just link the site you're copy and pasting from
    I dont feel like it
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  20. 03-02-2013, 08:13 PM #100
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    Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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  21. 03-02-2013, 08:14 PM #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

    I dont feel like it
    Well, you've effectively killed the thread for anyone else who has any chuck noris jokes... Good work
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  22. 03-02-2013, 08:16 PM #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by >Good Luck< View Post
    Well, you've effectively killed the thread for anyone else who has any chuck noris jokes... Good work
    ok, Ill stop... didnt realize people were getting upset....

    its too bad cause I think I have about 200 more
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  23. 03-02-2013, 08:17 PM #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

    ok, Ill stop... didnt realize people were getting upset....

    its too bad cause I think I have about 200 more
    No my friend, nobody is upset. But maybe we outta let others enjoy the fun??

    What would chuck Norris do?
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  24. 03-02-2013, 08:30 PM #104
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    M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
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  25. 03-02-2013, 08:30 PM #105
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    Hahahahaha this thread is hilarious! Most of these i haven't even heard of..lol! Keep them coming!
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  26. 03-02-2013, 08:38 PM #106
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    Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
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  27. 03-02-2013, 09:00 PM #107
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    Wats sad is i didnt even notice all them were by the same person and at the same time was feeling pretty stupid cuz i couldnt come up with one.. LOL
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  28. 03-02-2013, 09:08 PM #108
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    My smart phone auto corrects 'chuck norris' to 'bad ass'
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  29. 03-02-2013, 09:09 PM #109
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    The bermuda triangle used to be the bermuda square until chuck norris round house kicked one of the corners off..
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  30. 03-02-2013, 09:09 PM #110
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    For some, the left testicle is larger than the right. For chuck norris, each testicle is larger than the other one..
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  31. 03-02-2013, 09:11 PM #111
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    Money doesnt make the world go round.. Chuck norris does, physically..
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  32. 03-02-2013, 09:13 PM #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by >Good Luck< View Post
    No my friend, nobody is upset. But maybe we outta let others enjoy the fun??

    What would chuck Norris do?
    Chuck Norris roundhouses people with feelings in the face
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  33. 03-02-2013, 09:13 PM #113
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    The reason no shots were fired during the cold war was because both sides were too afraid of waking chuck norris from his slumber.
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  34. 03-02-2013, 09:13 PM #114
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    The only thing that gets between Chuck Norris and justice is an equal sign.
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  35. 03-02-2013, 09:14 PM #115
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    Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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  36. 03-02-2013, 09:14 PM #116
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    Chuck norris sand rain rain go away.. And it did..
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  37. 03-02-2013, 09:14 PM #117
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    Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
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  38. 03-02-2013, 09:15 PM #118
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    Chuck Norris can stare you down with his back turned.
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  39. 03-02-2013, 09:15 PM #119
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    The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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  40. 03-02-2013, 09:15 PM #120
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    Chuck norris CAN Compare Apples to oranges..
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