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  1. #1
    < <Samson> >'s Avatar
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    It's been a while since I posted anything personal on the board. Just because I have been concentrating on life, school and some other various activities that I suppose are now turned my life upside down.

    As of 5 days ago my life has completely changed.

    The mother to my only son and current gf of 4 years found all the necessary information to completely find out how big of a scum bag I really am.

    She came across my email box that contained every email for the last 3 years(I have not even seen the folder she found, somehow it built all the emails as threads). Many of which were to & from girls that I have been hooking up with throughout damn near our whole relationship.

    Then she went through my phone after watching me enter my password a day before. On my phone were pictures of the last girl I got with a few weeks ago.

    I look back, I just been feeling that as a whole another personality that was doing this. But, it's not - It's just me being a complete scum bag & ass hole to my amazing girlfriend.

    I am on a verge of a complete mental break down & for the first time in my life, I just can't see a future after this.

    She sees me as a bad distant stranger and will from now on. I can't live with the mother to my only son having these kind of feelings toward me.


    This situation is just too much for me to deal with. The second day I barely caught her when she was on the way out with my son to leave town. She wasn't gonna come back.


    How can I mentally move on? I strongly doubt that any of this relationship is salvageable. Yet, me and her still communicate a bit now and seem to get along. But, she says things to me that will make a grown man cry and I just can't take it any more.

    I built this double life and lived it for a long time. To return my life to any sort of normal, I swore to her that I have changed from this insane experience. But, in return I only get a BS okay.


    I don't know if there is any solution to the situation I put myself into. But, I would never condone anyone doing anything similar in any way.

  2. #2
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    There is no cookie cutter solution. IF it can b repaired, but judging by the amount of infidelity it can't, it will take YEARS of you proving your worth and that you've changed. It will take a lot of work from you, it will take a horrible toll on you. But you deserve every bit of it and more.

    If you do plan on trying to fix things, for your sons sake, u better give every ounce of conviction you can rustle up and dig deeper for more. You have completely tore this poor girls world apart. You think you feel bad? You did it, imagine how she feels.

  3. #3
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    this really sucks man. but i believe time will make things better. it may not work out the way you want it to, but everything settles down with time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tron3219
    There is no cookie cutter solution. IF it can b repaired, but judging by the amount of infidelity it can't, it will take YEARS of you proving your worth and that you've changed. It will take a lot of work from you, it will take a horrible toll on you. But you deserve every bit of it and more.

    If you do plan on trying to fix things, for your sons sake, u better give every ounce of conviction you can rustle up and dig deeper for more. You have completely tore this poor girls world apart. You think you feel bad? You did it, imagine how she feels.
    Thank you for the reply sir. And this is what makes this even worse. I don't know how to live with myself, she has been 100% faithful.

    I never had a feeling of not being able to go on. Even if I leave, my mental torment follows.

    This was never a part of my home life, not even close. My home life has always been 100% - yet there was more. This situation never crossed my maniac like mind. Yet, I plan and foresee just about everything else.


    I can sleep nor function, I slept one night out of 5 while heavily medicated. Before this I never actually believed that the mind can truly slip, but I am damn certain I am there now.

    All of this while in the last quarter of a heavy Tren cut cycle. I am trying my best to keep myself heavily medicated and sedated. This scares me, I feel like I can just fly off the handle very fast. If I do, I don't know where I will stop myself.
    Last edited by < <Samson> >; 06-04-2013 at 06:44 AM.

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    Wow that's a really tough situation. I think many ppl here have been in comparable situations with gf's but there's a lot more at stake when your child is involved. Despite your infidelity, no one has the right to invade your privacy the way she did . . . but I don't think playing that card will get you anywhere.

    I really feel for you and wish you the best. I think it's important to decide if you want her back or if it's your family (her + your son) that you want back. Did you want to spend the rest of your life with your gf or were you staying together just bc of your child? I hope things work out as you'd like in the near future, and this all is just a faded memory. Maybe you'll even be a better person for it. No matter how things work out, you will feel better day by day. For that reason, you need to take things one day at a time now and decide what it is you actually want.

    Ppl make mistakes. Hopefully she'll understand that and forgive you. Good luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> >

    Thank you for the reply sir. And this is what makes this even worse. I don't know how to live with myself, she has been 100% faithful.

    I never had a feeling of not being able to go on. Even if I leave, my mental torment follows.

    This was never a part of my home life, not even close. My home life has always been 100% - yet there was more. This situation never crossed my maniac like mind. Yet, I plan and foresee just about everything else.

    I can sleep nor function, I slept one night out of 5 while heavily medicated. Before this I never actually believed that the mind can truly slip, but I am damn certain I am there now.

    All of this while in the last quarter of a heavy Tren cut cycle. I am trying my best to keep myself heavily medicated and sedated. This scares me, I feel like I can just fly off the handle very fast. If I do, I don't know where I will stop myself.
    First, you should stop tren today. That will only make matters worse. Idk, if your on trt it not but either way, i drop to a trt test dose for a few weeks till u get ur head screwed on straight, then pct. Some people experience depression during pct and u don't want that now, and u definitely don't need tren screwing with ur head.

    I've been where your at, not quite to the degree you did it. But I know how you feel and it's a horrible feeling knowing your world has been uprooted. But like I said, if u think u feel bad, imagine how the innocent feel. All you have left is graveling and begging her to prove your worth, because your word means nothing anymore. And it won't for a long time. You are 100% her mercy. Unless you decide to be a little bitch and run from your wrongs. Which I don't feel u deserve to do. You owe it to her and ur son to do everything humanly possible to make things right.

    It sounds like you do really are about her. U just took what u had for granted and thought it was invincible. Now, my advice to you is quit wallowing in ur sorrow with this sorry excuse for a poor me syndrome. Stand up, and be a fvcking man for once and accept what u did, admit it, and do whatever possible to save your relationship no matter how hard or demoralizing it is. Don't be a little bitch and run.

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    If I run, I have no where to go. One of my concerns is not being able to live with her feeling like this.

    I am no bitch, I know who's responsible - me


    I went through a extremely tough divorce once. We had no kids, it was nothing like this.

    Being a bitch is one thing, but full on losing my mind and doing something even worse is another. I feel like I fell and I can't catch myself.


    Stopping the Tren is a start though. Even taking it one day at a time is more difficult than I ever thought possible.

    Where I am now, no man should ever be. I understand completely that I caused all of this. But where I am, I don't know how to come back from.

    Time does heal wounds, but when they are like this - I don't know how to make it past a few hours without a handful of pills or a half dozen shots. I have officially turned to total shit. Never in my life I have done anything like this.

    I have never cheated on my eX wife. But, after my marriage was over I changed and became more bitter.


    How in hell do I live on? I feel like I can't function, nothing in my life made me feel like this. If I had the money I would check myself into a funny farm or rehab or someshit, safety alone is a big enough concern to me. Every day I am on the edge of fully snapping and just start tearing everything in half. This is not a proper feeling for an adult to have. And I can't stop it

  8. #8
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    Accept what you have done. Let her (girlfriend) decide what direction she wants things to go and pay the consequences that will be years or lifetime.

    I have been paying the consequenses for a letter my wife found 3 years ago that was from before we are married and it was nothing in all honesty only a love you between friends with nothing implied or taken wrong except by her (wife) and she wont accept it as any less. They never forget and not very quick to forgive.

    Your situation is not good but as they say, you make your bed so you lay in it.
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    youll get over ur depression. welcome to the club of being hurt by losing someone u care about. too bad its ur fault and u have no one to blame but urself. instead of spending so much time contemplating ur own misery and getting fvcked up (being selfish) why dont u spend more time making a conscious effort to try to work things out with the one who didnt ask for this situation??

    the worst part of all this is the only reason u feel this way now is because u got caught. pretty fvcking pathetic if u ask me. u deserve to feel like shit.

  10. #10
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    She is still amazing to be here as of right now. At this point it seems like she's the one who can make me or break me.

    I know time will tell, but I can't even keep same enough to make it there.

  11. #11
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    Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. I would recommend getting professional help asap, as the tone of your posts are VERY concerning, as yoiu are hinting toward sucidal type mentality. I can tell you as the son of a father that shot himself, that you must fight through this , for your son. In your sons eyes all you need to do is be there, its your duty as a father. Yoiu can get through this!!! On a side note when I am down about my life, I look at a guy that works for me. He is a refugee from a wartorn area in Africa. He watched many of his children murdered. He fled, and made it to safety. He now is in America working, living, and loving. His pain is more than I can imagine, however he made it through, for the children he has left..... He barely speaks english and most look at him as a dumb immigrant..He inspires me daily, as you will your son......Best wishes friend.
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    it's tough that ur going through this....but at the same time u put urself there....we all make mistakes and have been in this situation before....nothin u can do except before and plead and beg and plead....and then repeat this process countless times until(if she does) she takes u back....then u need to assure then reassure countless times....it wont be easy and it'll probably take a long time....but hopefully fake the sake of ur child things can be worked out..if not then hopefully u two can be civil around each other....
    we don't realize what we have until its gone...if u get her back dont fvck up.....best if luck

    -Release the Kracken!!!-

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    Admit yourself into some sort of rehab for a short while, and let her find out from others, not from you. She might come around after that. Good luck.
    ~ PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR SOURCE CHECKS ~

    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

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    Tough situation buddy!!! It's like stealing, each time you cheat it gets easier and easier until you eventually slip up and get caught. Have you asked yourself why you were cheating? What did you get from it that you couldn't from your girlfriend?

    No woman ever forgets getting cheating on and it changes them forever! For your child's sake I would quit being selfish, like mentioned above, and be trying to prove yourself.I would be brainstorming ideas and writing down ways to prove myself. I would be asking her what you can do to even begin on the road to recovery with her. If you're telling her you can't live with out her and what not then save your breath! That will just make you sound weak and full of shit. A formal apology is a great start, maybe even in a handwritten letter. Tell her that you understand what you did and it will take years to recover from but you're willing to put in the effort.

    Could you imagine if she stopped by unannounced and you were all doped up!! Get off that shit, get off the tren , wait for PCT, and man up!

    You've been good to me so text me if you feel like chatting!

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    crazy mike is offline Banned for repping Dangerous Substances
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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    Admit yourself into some sort of rehab for a short while, and let her find out from others, not from you. She might come around after that. Good luck.
    Well I could go on about this. The possible breakdown, guilt, manic type thinking etc.. But I won't for nw. But I suggest:
    1 Stop all aas ASAP.. like NOW
    2 Do just what minimal TRT ? PCT you need NOW
    3 Make an appointment with some kind of treatment therapy. ( call local crisis center for referral)
    4 focus in your mental health while keeping your training a level that will not get you depressed about it, but ease up a little.
    5 Find focus on helping others as to take care of yourself ( nothing better than helping others)
    6 Do not push, I mean mentally push her, family, friends or yourself. Try to take it one day at a time.
    7 with that being said try to lean by your emotions just what the Serenity Prayer says and means, in your life. Say it, learn it, repeat it whenever your mind starts to wonder.
    Maybe just some simple BS from crazy here but you take a few minutes and do it, pray about it. Only ask for the change in you. In you not in anything done or about to be done, because You don't have a say so and you are not in control. But you have control of you now, at this moment. Again pray for the change in you to do the NEXT right thing. ...crazy mike

    More than enough out of me, Good luck. ...cm
    Last edited by crazy mike; 06-04-2013 at 10:51 AM.
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    SexySweetheart is offline "Decide you want it ƸӜƷ more than your afraid of it"Recognized Member Winner - $100
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    sad it all played out like this Samson.
    every relationship is different, but the one constant is that it takes 2 to have a relationship. most people wont snoop in a partners privacy unless they feel or get a vibe that their relationship is being jeopardized by the spouse. so I disagree with the notion that a spouse not having the right to invade your privacy ~ after all your lives emotions and finances are commingled...what partner in life or business would not check up on the stability of that relationship if they suspect foal play?

    while you are hurting and in morning over the loss ~ she is as well, and now she also well be reliving the past questioning what was real/ what part she played in your deciding or continued cheating / kicking herself for being played like a fool and trusting some one / and also her snooping was validated. all while trying to maintain and function for the sake of the son she has to care for on a daily basis.
    sadly if you guys dont work out, its now harder for her to trust another man and your son may see her have trust issues in her next relationship as she does what she thinks is best for him so they dont get attached to another man that will hurt them.
    i think cheating is the peak of selfishness and unless your dedicated to putting her need as priority (worrying about her feelings/ validating her concerns/taking care of her new financial burdens/ and yes begging for forgiveness and willing to wait for her to process everything before deciding what to do etc) with more concern than your own- she will see that you are still concerned more for your self, than and your son in her care.
    It will be a tuff road back to trust and RESPECT from her. yes she may forgive you, but no she will never forget how 1 day she found out the human she trusted above all others has zero problem lying to her face, putting her at sexual health at risk, and putting priority in banging strangers above playing with his son or holding her. it will be a long hard road for sure but it could truly be worth it for you both and your son.
    so feel what you are feeling, its ok to be sad for a while. its a sad thing that happened. your still a father so have moments to pull it together and offer to see your son more so mom can also have private moments to be sad, and your son can see that you will still be there for him no matter what happens.
    she will have moments that she says things that will cut rite threw you, please remember its just her scared and hurt and maybe even testing to see if you are actually holding your self accountable and do believe/ agree that you repeatedly made the choice to jeopardize loosing her and your relationship. ... dont say it was a mistake- we all know your actions were deliberate and she does to.
    the best of luck to you all. I sincerely hope every one comes out of it better than the majority of us do <3
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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> > View Post
    It's been a while since I posted anything personal on the board. Just because I have been concentrating on life, school and some other various activities that I suppose are now turned my life upside down.

    As of 5 days ago my life has completely changed.

    The mother to my only son and current gf of 4 years found all the necessary information to completely find out how big of a scum bag I really am.

    She came across my email box that contained every email for the last 3 years(I have not even seen the folder she found, somehow it built all the emails as threads). Many of which were to & from girls that I have been hooking up with throughout damn near our whole relationship.

    Then she went through my phone after watching me enter my password a day before. On my phone were pictures of the last girl I got with a few weeks ago.

    I look back, I just been feeling that as a whole another personality that was doing this. But, it's not - It's just me being a complete scum bag & ass hole to my amazing girlfriend.

    I am on a verge of a complete mental break down & for the first time in my life, I just can't see a future after this.

    She sees me as a bad distant stranger and will from now on. I can't live with the mother to my only son having these kind of feelings toward me.


    This situation is just too much for me to deal with. The second day I barely caught her when she was on the way out with my son to leave town. She wasn't gonna come back.


    How can I mentally move on? I strongly doubt that any of this relationship is salvageable. Yet, me and her still communicate a bit now and seem to get along. But, she says things to me that will make a grown man cry and I just can't take it any more.

    I built this double life and lived it for a long time. To return my life to any sort of normal, I swore to her that I have changed from this insane experience. But, in return I only get a BS okay.


    I don't know if there is any solution to the situation I put myself into. But, I would never condone anyone doing anything similar in any way.
    It sucks when we repeatedly do things that we know to be self-destructive. Then we hate ourselves when it does blow up and we lose everything that we truly care about. The only way to ensure that this never happens again is to actively seek a change. I hope that the situation can be fixed but more than likely your relationship is over. Either way stay strong and work to ensure that you never set yourself up for failure again.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart View Post
    sad it all played out like this Samson.
    every relationship is different, but the one constant is that it takes 2 to have a relationship. most people wont snoop in a partners privacy unless they feel or get a vibe that their relationship is being jeopardized by the spouse. so I disagree with the notion that a spouse not having the right to invade your privacy ~ after all your lives emotions and finances are commingled...what partner in life or business would not check up on the stability of that relationship if they suspect foal play?

    while you are hurting and in morning over the loss ~ she is as well, and now she also well be reliving the past questioning what was real/ what part she played in your deciding or continued cheating / kicking herself for being played like a fool and trusting some one / and also her snooping was validated. all while trying to maintain and function for the sake of the son she has to care for on a daily basis.
    sadly if you guys dont work out, its now harder for her to trust another man and your son may see her have trust issues in her next relationship as she does what she thinks is best for him so they dont get attached to another man that will hurt them.
    i think cheating is the peak of selfishness and unless your dedicated to putting her need as priority (worrying about her feelings/ validating her concerns/taking care of her new financial burdens/ and yes begging for forgiveness and willing to wait for her to process everything before deciding what to do etc) with more concern than your own- she will see that you are still concerned more for your self, than and your son in her care.
    It will be a tuff road back to trust and RESPECT from her. yes she may forgive you, but no she will never forget how 1 day she found out the human she trusted above all others has zero problem lying to her face, putting her at sexual health at risk, and putting priority in banging strangers above playing with his son or holding her. it will be a long hard road for sure but it could truly be worth it for you both and your son.
    so feel what you are feeling, its ok to be sad for a while. its a sad thing that happened. your still a father so have moments to pull it together and offer to see your son more so mom can also have private moments to be sad, and your son can see that you will still be there for him no matter what happens.
    she will have moments that she says things that will cut rite threw you, please remember its just her scared and hurt and maybe even testing to see if you are actually holding your self accountable and do believe/ agree that you repeatedly made the choice to jeopardize loosing her and your relationship. ... dont say it was a mistake- we all know your actions were deliberate and she does to.
    the best of luck to you all. I sincerely hope every one comes out of it better than the majority of us do <3
    I see where your coming from about the privacy thing, but I just put a very high priority on privacy. Either way, that sounded like awesome advice in so many different ways.

  19. #19
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    Keep it simple. For now, give her some space and I would (if possible) get things going in terms of seeing a therapist. Something is going on here for you to have kept this up so long.

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    Quote Originally Posted by --->>405<<--- View Post
    youll get over ur depression. welcome to the club of being hurt by losing someone u care about. too bad its ur fault and u have no one to blame but urself. instead of spending so much time contemplating ur own misery and getting fvcked up (being selfish) why dont u spend more time making a conscious effort to try to work things out with the one who didnt ask for this situation??

    the worst part of all this is the only reason u feel this way now is because u got caught. pretty fvcking pathetic if u ask me. u deserve to feel like shit.
    I know its not what you want to hear but I'm in total agreement with 405 here. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take responsibility and move on. You got a lot of 'splinin to do, Lucy!

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    Lots of great advice in this thread. It is a lot more constructive than I expected.

    I would get into some kind of counseling right away. That will help with your depression but most importantly it will help you deal with the destructive things you do. Even if it doesn't help fix the damage done with your girlfriend it will set up the rest of your life to be more stable and happy.

    A friend of mine got caught cheating but his wife had no idea how bad it was. He was dealing with some insanely destructive behavior. I won't even detail it here...it was really bad.

    He chose to go to a behaviorist rather than a traditional therapist. A therapist tries to get to the root cause of the problem. I behaviorist helps you change your behavior without focusing on the cause. It is about recognizing dangerous situations and having the tools to avoid them.
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    WOW! Sure is a lot of support. Personally I think your a dick for your behavior. You don't deserve her or the kid from the sounds of it!
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    I agree with Lunk...

    however I really wish u the best. I know the hurt ur dealing with and I know u feel like its the end, but its not.
    u have a little one, u have to push on and make urself better. there is no other way to see this.

    there is great advice here, please follow some of it.....good luck my friend

  24. #24
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    If you're going to say something negative it's fine... but you should also say something positive considering he is taking the first step, which is taking responsibility and admitting fault. Late or not, still the first step.

    Love seeing people who think they're perfect. Give me a fuking break...
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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    If you're going to say something negative it's fine... but you should also say something positive considering he is taking the first step, which is taking responsibility and admitting fault. Late or not, still the first step.

    Love seeing people who think they're perfect. Give me a fuking break...
    Agreed. Most of us who don't hurt the ones we love most by betraying them (cheating) have learned the hard way how much it sucks to do so and have felt like and gone through what Samson is right now.

    I'd like to see how many guys have never cheated on anyone they loved.....whatever.

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  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sgt. Hartman View Post
    Agreed. Most of us who don't hurt the ones we love most by betraying them (cheating) have learned the hard way how much it sucks to do so and have felt like and gone through what Samson is right now.

    I'd like to see how many guys have never cheated on anyone they loved.....whatever.
    Ive been married to my wife for 21+ years. Married at 19 y.o.. Been together for around 23. I have never cheated...not once!

  27. #27
    austinite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lunk1 View Post
    Oh...I wondered how long that would take. It's just a job man..nothing more, nothing less!
    Whatever, my point is no one is perfect.
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    >Good Luck<'s Avatar
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    Lol!

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    < <Samson> >'s Avatar
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    Yeah, I told my best friend who went through the same exact shit 5 years ago. He calls me Tiger Woods.

    He didn't even know, I never admitted it to even him. Him and his wife went through the same exact shit, he got caught up hard when his wife found odd calls and called a few back. She freaked and kicked him out. Back then I had a long talk with his wife and she took him back.

    We spoke for quite a bit, he said he's shit is not even close to the same. He stayed and so did she for the kids they have together. He is still completely fvcked and has zero say so in anything she does or where she goes and when. She's cool and I would give her a bit of trust, but this is not the kind of relationship I could live in.


    What's kind of really fvcked now is the fact that I feel that I have lost pretty much my best friend.

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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> > View Post
    Yeah, I told my best friend who went through the same exact shit 5 years ago. He calls me Tiger Woods.

    He didn't even know, I never admitted it to even him. Him and his wife went through the same exact shit, he got caught up hard when his wife found odd calls and called a few back. She freaked and kicked him out. Back then I had a long talk with his wife and she took him back.

    We spoke for quite a bit, he said he's shit is not even close to the same. He stayed and so did she for the kids they have together. He is still completely fvcked and has zero say so in anything she does or where she goes and when. She's cool and I would give her a bit of trust, but this is not the kind of relationship I could live in.


    What's kind of really fvcked now is the fact that I feel that I have lost pretty much my best friend.
    Hang in there Sam. Time will heal my friend. Just focus on doing the right thing going forward and eventually good things will come. I hope she is Ok, too. I'm sure she is a mess.
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    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

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    < <Samson> >'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    Hang in there Sam. Time will heal my friend. Just focus on doing the right thing going forward and eventually good things will come. I hope she is Ok, too. I'm sure she is a mess.
    I'm trying for sure, dropping the Tren today. Hanging on to the Mast and Test for a few more weeks.

    She's doing pretty good considering the situation. . . . But, my lack of sleeplessness seems to be directly a product of my guilt. I just replay this shit in my head over and over, I am trying my best not to be that way. . . But, it is sure easier said than done.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lunk1 View Post
    WOW! Sure is a lot of support. Personally I think your a dick for your behavior. You don't deserve her or the kid from the sounds of it!
    I have to agree with Lunk on this one. If your gf didn't catch on to your improprieties, we wouldn't be having this discussion about your desperate situation. To have a child with this woman and treat her that way is cold hearted. You are truly selfish in that you are so focused on your own pity and yet you don't seem to fully embrace the pain she must have felt to be betrayed by someone she thought loved her exclusively.
    Lunk1 and oscarjones like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lunk1 View Post
    WOW! Sure is a lot of support. Personally I think your a dick for your behavior. You don't deserve her or the kid from the sounds of it!



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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoggage_54 View Post
    Who needs autocorrect with Hoggage around. Thanks man..

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    When confessing infidelity, you better believe that emotional opinions will be posted. Like Lunk, 21+ yrs of marriage and there's no freaking way I'm cheating on her. She's my best friend, always there for me. Maybe the "friend" part was missing in this instance. I'm not judging. I'll leave that to the one and only judge. Everyone messes up. Everyone must live with the subsequent consequence(s). Good luck.
    bringndaheat likes this.

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    crazy mike is offline Banned for repping Dangerous Substances
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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> > View Post
    I'm trying for sure, dropping the Tren today. Hanging on to the Mast and Test for a few more weeks.

    She's doing pretty good considering the situation. . . . But, my lack of sleeplessness seems to be directly a product of my guilt. I just replay this shit in my head over and over, I am trying my best not to be that way. . . But, it is sure easier said than done.
    Hey man that's what happens with guilt and fear and selfishness for everyone. You are not different in that so get a grip. I just gotta say when you say oh, I'll get rid of the Tren BUT I'll keep the other, it shows selfishness. You want to keep on living on your terms. Get off the roids it probably contributes to your selfishness. I'm guilty of steppin out years ago but got a grip very quick. My OCD in BB and AAS at the time kept me in my world, led by vanity and the head on my dick. Sound familiar . IMOP stop all the aas NOW as I said before, get humble, get therapy NOW and start to help others to get out of the pit you are in. Part on working on you is working on , with, helping others. It's called service. It will help to strengthen you and get you out of the pity party. ...crazy mike
    Java Man and bringndaheat like this.

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    Just do the right thing when it comes to your son. Don't give up on him due to other personal issues as I'm sure he won't give up on you.
    -*- NO SOURCE CHECKS -*-

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    SexySweetheart is offline "Decide you want it ƸӜƷ more than your afraid of it"Recognized Member Winner - $100
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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> > View Post
    Yeah, I told my best friend who went through the same exact shit 5 years ago. He calls me Tiger Woods.

    He didn't even know, I never admitted it to even him. Him and his wife went through the same exact shit, he got caught up hard when his wife found odd calls and called a few back. She freaked and kicked him out. Back then I had a long talk with his wife and she took him back.

    We spoke for quite a bit, he said he's shit is not even close to the same. He stayed and so did she for the kids they have together. He is still completely fvcked and has zero say so in anything she does or where she goes and when. She's cool and I would give her a bit of trust, but this is not the kind of relationship I could live in.


    What's kind of really fvcked now is the fact that I feel that I have lost pretty much my best friend.
    thants not fvcked ~ you HAVE lost your best friend :/

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    Quote Originally Posted by kelkel View Post
    Just do the right thing when it comes to your son. Don't give up on him due to other personal issues as I'm sure he won't give up on you.
    My only input here is this. It's really not about you or her anymore. It's about him having a mom and a dad. Weather it be in the same house or separate. Let your son be your strength to get through this. Your guilt and depression should be driven away from your want of being the best dad a kid could have.

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