kicked out of my house

[EKFitness]

so this is a long story, but I could use some help

for 2 years I've been running my parents bar for $50 a day. no health benefits or insurance or anything. I RARELY visit the doctor

so the other day I wake up extremely sick barely got any sleep was blowing my nose and stuffing it all night. woke up sweaty headache sore throat sneezing. meanwhile this is after 3 weeks of horrible allergies and a small cold before that. so I am SICK of being SICK at this point. so I ask her to go to the minute clinic a small doctors office at CVS which is cheap. I wanted antibiotics to finally just enjoy a week of summer. she says no.
we start arguing then my dad comes in and says "oh mr doctor wants to go get medicine" I said I looked at my last script bottle and I haven't been in 3 years and 3 months. he replies oh so if it had only been 2 years or 1 you wouldn't ask to go?

this is getting ridiculous and I screamed "no the point is it's not like I ask to go every ****ing month, only when I'm really sick"

meanwhile my dad has heart failure and lung cancer and hates doctors because he thinks they killed his mother. therefore I shouldn't see them or take antibiotics.

my mom thinks I called my dad a name, comes in swinging, hitting me, I grabbed her wrists to stop her, she starts biting me, I moved her aside and she slipped on the dog bowl. then my dads in my face and mom yelling at me to get out she's calling me a piece of shit a million times.

now I'm living at my bros, gotta find car insurance company, new phone company, pay rent, all with no job since I was running their business for minimal money because dads sick.

she spoke to my bro and sis admitting she misheard me and that's why she came in swinging and the situation escalated.

this is all FACT I am not changing the story in my favor.

then I sent her this picture of small things I bought for them that I just didn't ask for money for.

I'm waiting for her to apologize for overreacting and not helping me when I need it.


meanwhile. my sister had a baby and lives in the next door apartment for free...

[EKFitness]

and to add, I have to pay tons for OTC allergy meds since I can't get prescription.. and I didn't ask for that either.

[Sgt. Hartman]

And this is why grown men shouldn't live with their parents......

[EKFitness]

I'm 22 with a college degree running their business helping them around the house and so forth.

the plan was to buy the business and move out when my fathers health was sorted out

[Sgt. Hartman]

I'm not talking shit on you bud, I know a few other people who live with their parents and they all have their reasons, but the general end result seems to always be the same - it never ends well.

[EKFitness]

I'm not talking shit on you bud, I know a few other people who live with their parents and they all have their reasons, but the general end result seems to always be the same - it never ends well.

pretty much. they're very high strung and stressful to be around. I'm hoping my mom will notice she overreacted and invite me back.

it's hard being thrown out..trying to get on my feet here

[stpete]

Get your own place.

[EKFitness]

Get your own place.

you tryin to be an ass? lol

[Times Roman]

I hate family squabbles

there is always more going on than you know

My son is 22. I love my son very much. I also will love the day when he moves out.

The problem is, imho, that the parental patterns of your youth, will continue until you move out.

Sounds like you all are stuck in a rut

[brazuka]

good luck man the real world sucks im 20 had to move out when i was 18 and get my first job at 16 because parents wouldnt buy me clothes and none of mine fit me they thought i needed to get a job... ****ing bs but whatever bro good luck and if you can move back do it and stay low key... trust me its not easy at all

[EKFitness]

good luck man the real world sucks im 20 had to move out when i was 18 and get my first job at 16 because parents wouldnt buy me clothes and none of mine fit me they thought i needed to get a job... ****ing bs but whatever bro good luck and if you can move back do it and stay low key... trust me its not easy at all

that's the plan. trying to get back in..I could apologize but I'm not sure what to apologize for...

[bdos]

that's the plan. trying to get back in..I could apologize but I'm not sure what to apologize for...

You dont need to just say sorry and agree to what they say, then do your days work and disapear cant pin anything on you if your not there.

[Lunk1]

Honestly...stay moved out. It's time for sooo many reason.

[Java Man]

Stay out. Adults need their freedom. Your parents attitudes about you will change if you move out on your own. There is a lot of wisdom in what TR said... More than what is written. This is coming from a man who left 'home' at 16 and has an adult child who also moved out of my house at 18. It's been a few years and we both respect each other more now, plus she's happier being responsible for herself and having freedom to do what she wants without putting up with my opinion of it.

[Lunk1]

I agree, you haven't earned their respect...

[stpete]

you tryin to be an ass? lol

Not at all. But you need your own place. Hell, i was gone at 18. And i've been around the block a few times. But nothing like answering to yourself. Tell everyone else to kiss you ass as you're self sufficient.

I know it's hard but we have to do what we have to do. Plain and simple.

[crazy mike]

My dad was a millionaire. I lived with and played with millionaire kids . My dad didn't give me $$ so at eleven I got a newspaper delivery route on my bike. Never stopped and moved out at age 17. I didn't respect them, cause I was a fvck up. Just because I earned my spending money meant nothing, he paid my for my needs and I was well taken care of. I came home, I left home. He did the right thing and always helped with the needs as long as I took some responsible road. Everyone's story is unique to their own situation. Never both the same, only similar but the nitty gritty is individual. If you are not in school and can pay your way should go your way. No free rides and if you are an adult one has to live by the rules of the home owner , father and mother. They owe you nothing, but in my OP love and affection, by my moral compass.

So what ever your situation, remember parents have done a lot of work to get you where you are now (in most cases) and they deserve a break today. They deserve respect as you also do but it is not on your terms. As we all make mistakes so do parents. There is no book that tells parents "HOW TO" We as parents are flying by the seat of our own pants. No child is the same, not even the siblings. Each NEW EVENT is just that a NEW EVENT and the difference is only in the fact that as we grow we change so we expect the rules to change. The target, the mark, the person is always on the move.
What I didn't know is that my father, the cheap bastard who horded all his money and wouldn't buy me the cool shoes I wanted was saving it all to give to us kids when he died. So as he always said I would I fvckin blew it. Just some tid bits to think on. Time to move out. ...crazy mike

[SexySweetheart]

money and family just dont mix.
no matter how great the intentions or tight the bonds- its to difficult to do what is right for your self if you have another s interest in mind.

besides all that, being so dependent on someone else- income, experience, housing, utilities is a breeding ground for underlining resentment from both parties and varied degrees.

dont bother comparing your self or other family members when it comes to how parents treat them... its just a hurtful stress-or for you. Parents have their reasons or favorites ( coming from a family of 7 i understand your frustration) they may not be fair but hay where is it writing that as adults we should expect our parents to treat us equal to our siblings lol it is what it is and you have to deal with it one way or another but pouting over it does no good :/

i say chalk it up to your "kick the hatching outta the nest and see if it fly's" moment- take this as an opportunity live your life for you/ take scary chances / start new adventures - YAY!

[lovbyts]

Even though it was a misunderstanding and can be resolved since you are out just take it as the little push you needed and instead of going backwards (moving back in) keep moving forward and find another place.

Dont worry or stress about how anyone else is being treated or what seems fair; it's never fair from each persons perspective and their circumstances.

Do what you have to do to make it work for you. If you cant afford your own place or shared space on your salary tell your father you either need a substantial raise or you need to find another job. That's just life. They wanted you out, you are out but you have to feed yourself also as well as you have your life/future to plan. You will help how and when you can but you cant live for free. They will understand one way or another eventually.

[kronik420]

this reminds me..

i needa move out too..

[EKFitness]

Even though it was a misunderstanding and can be resolved since you are out just take it as the little push you needed and instead of going backwards (moving back in) keep moving forward and find another place.

Dont worry or stress about how anyone else is being treated or what seems fair; it's never fair from each persons perspective and their circumstances.

Do what you have to do to make it work for you. If you cant afford your own place or shared space on your salary tell your father you either need a substantial raise or you need to find another job. That's just life. They wanted you out, you are out but you have to feed yourself also as well as you have your life/future to plan. You will help how and when you can but you cant live for free. They will understand one way or another eventually.

I have no job, I lost that with my house

[crazy mike]

I have no job, I lost that with my house

Let's get smart here. Bone up. At 22 you don't have a clue as to what life has to offer. You've not been around long enough to have experienced a good paying hard working job. Don't get your a$$ in a pinch, what I said is just the facts of life.

So now you graduate into the real world. Your old world has changed and it was going to change sooner or later. T have serious relations with a woman you couldn't do that if tyou still live at home. That doesn't work 9 out 10 times. But so just one (1) example and not even a good one, BUT!!...
Good bad or indifferent, much unlike most who loose their place (roof) you have a roof, elect and water at your Bro's or at mom n dad's. No one, mom or dad can throw you out over night/. So even though this is scenario I mention is bad it is what it is and you can stay 30 plus days until they evict you. Ya think they will ?? Think again. But so you stay there as bad as that might be, or at your Bro's temp..

While you stay you get more routed with your dad's business or you get another job. Any job and you do what we all do and you work your way up. A degree doesn't get you anything straight out. This is not by any means the end of the world, it's the end of the old world and all the free bee's. Yes free bee's. The job came free, the house (roof) came free I'm sure you don't have to worry bout the food and water and electric. If so then that means that's life.
They can get by and you can too. Make a plan to leave ASAP. If you have a degree you can make an outline of your plan with all the contingencies at each step Time to make a life change and probably the best for you and your parents. Time to get a grip, look at your future and have a plan, work on this everyday just like the real world does and you will progress everyday building your OWN FOUNDATION and the business you ware already managing. Some time will heel thee temporary wounds you and mom and dad has right now. This too will pass.
I'm not original, I'm not special nor a once in a million, so read my interview and look at what all I did and see that 98% of everyone in my life have forgiven me and we have a good relationship at the present. ...crazy mike

[tigerspawn]

I would fix the situation and amend any problems between you and your parents. However, I would not return to what you were doing before the argument. Get a job that pays you enough to make a living and stay with your sibling until you can get enough money to be on your own.

[crazy mike]

Thanks Tiger for the back up suggestion. See it will work out. A family once close as what has been displayed here will be close again. This is just a passing bump in the road.

So it will workout ASAP as you work with it each day. But growing up NOW fast is the best move. That means doing as described by Tigerspawn . ...crazy mike

[GirlyGymRat]

Luv my parents and they had the perfect plan. Their house rules were so strict/restrictive NO one would want to stay. They begged me to spend 1month after college - which i financed- graduation to hang with them. LOL

After my father passed, I came to know their worth....and the values they taught me.

[Bonaparte]

Wait...your mother punched and BIT you??

[crazy mike]

So EK (OP) keep us informed about what goes on here with you and your parents. As we all have said one way or another this will turn out to be a good thing for you by helping you get up and start moving on with your own life. Planning for the future while living in the present.
Good luck my friend, be strong for mom n dad, you can take care of them as needed as you take care of your own life. Use you transition time wisely, while you have free rent so to speak. ...crazy mike

[DSM4Life]

Depending on your stats you can crash at my place.

[austinite]

Depending on your stats you can crash at my place.

This is not a source board.

[stpete]

This is not a source board.

haha.....

[JWP806]

Bro, you have a degree and make $50 a day trying to help them out and they kick you out?

The last thing you should do is try to move back in with them. Time to get a real job and get your own place. Wouldn't be hard to find a job that pays your more then $12k-13k a year. Not trying to be a dick but you are relying way too much on them. I realize you are trying to help out because your dad is sick or whatever but at some point you have to think about what's in your best interest.

[EKFitness]

I was helping them because they were going to sell me the bar eventually. I passed on the state police because I was going to own the bar and get an apartment eventually.

I'm going to throw away my pride and apologize for whatever the hell it is I did wrong, kiss some ass and try to move back in. I can always move out again when I have some footing or can get into the state police academy.

[crazy mike]

I was helping them because they were going to sell me the bar eventually. I passed on the state police because I was going to own the bar and get an apartment eventually.

I'm going to throw away my pride and apologize for whatever the hell it is I did wrong, kiss some ass and try to move back in. I can always move out again when I have some footing or can get into the state police academy.

There it is right there. You got it. As was said just now gotta think what's best for you. Also you said it you can always jump ship ...IF YOU HAVE A PLAN and are in a stable situation. So now get more stable w/ $$$ and a plan. NOW !!

So you get the bar or not you get straightened out in the Academy. Living at home, helping mom and dad is what you should do to an extent as long as you continue on your own path.

Good for you work it from all angles to the betterment of yourself as you still hold true to your love of mom n dad and always be doing the NEXT RIGHT THING. Give them what they want to a degree but always what they need and I think you'll find they will return the favor in love and $$$ help where they can. Good luck my man, remember their age. ...crazy mike

[kelkel]

Luv my parents and they had the perfect plan. Their house rules were so strict/restrictive NO one would want to stay. They begged me to spend 1month after college - which i financed- graduation to hang with them. LOL

Now this explains so much....

Wait...your mother punched and BIT you??

Was waiting for that! Wow.

This is not a source board.

Hysterical!

[JWP806]

I was helping them because they were going to sell me the bar eventually. I passed on the state police because I was going to own the bar and get an apartment eventually.

I'm going to throw away my pride and apologize for whatever the hell it is I did wrong, kiss some ass and try to move back in. I can always move out again when I have some footing or can get into the state police academy.

Wow dude, you dont sound very motivated. Why would you kiss ass to get back into that situation that benefits you in no way. Your mother bit you and swung at you. That's not normal.

This makes no sense to me. You're a grown man and you're begging to move back in with your parents who pay all of your bills and give you $50/day to run a bar. Time to cut the chord.

[tigerspawn]

What did your mom think that you said to your father?

[austinite]

What did your mom think that you said to your father?

ass hat. In fact he said "What's that?!"

[crazy mike]

This makes no sense to me. You're a grown man and you're begging to move back in with your parents who pay all of your bills and give you $50/day to run a bar. Time to cut the chord.

Begging asking apologizing is a way to stop the fight. Smooth it over let go of pride that gets us no where. Fvck the pride of holding an apology even if you didn't start it.

Move back in for $50.00 is not so. He has a roof, A/C, water shower his own room, shared food, TV/cable ?? land line ? That's a lot more than $50.00. As my dad told me, don't burn bridge's, don't leave a job if you don't have one already, don't walk out the door and be locked out if you don't have a place to go. Common sense. Time takes time, it takes time to get settled anywhere, any job and during the interim one needs security.

Your mom, like many of us make mistakes in an emotional state of mind. Your mom's behavior can't be the very first display of this type of temper. Get a hold of your self, not mom or dad. Lead by example and make them as well as yourself proud.

Proud to be able to turn this thing into an advantage point for you and a time to make change. So do what need to be done, don't cut your nose off to spite your face. AND TO THINK, I was the one that told you bone up, get real, get a job, you should be out by now and on and etc..
But I still say the same, but do it with a plan and use the tools you have at your disposal NOW. Take inventory at what you HAVE and make a gratitude list and take that positive move to do the right thing for yourself as well as it will help them. ...crazy mike



PS: Before you guys tell me enough crazy, I'll stop and back out now. But thanks OP if you got anything out of what I've said. Done deal....mike

[EKFitness]

Begging asking apologizing is a way to stop the fight. Smooth it over let go of pride that gets us no where. Fvck the pride of holding an apology even if you didn't start it.

Move back in for $50.00 is not so. He has a roof, A/C, water shower his own room, shared food, TV/cable ?? land line ? That's a lot more than $50.00. As my dad told me, don't burn bridge's, don't leave a job if you don't have one already, don't walk out the door and be locked out if you don't have a place to go. Common sense. Time takes time, it takes time to get settled anywhere, any job and during the interim one needs security.

Your mom, like many of us make mistakes in an emotional state of mind. Your mom's behavior can't be the very first display of this type of temper. Get a hold of your self, not mom or dad. Lead by example and make them as well as yourself proud.

Proud to be able to turn this thing into an advantage point for you and a time to make change. So do what need to be done, don't cut your nose off to spite your face. AND TO THINK, I was the one that told you bone up, get real, get a job, you should be out by now and on and etc..
But I still say the same, but do it with a plan and use the tools you have at your disposal NOW. Take inventory at what you HAVE and make a gratitude list and take that positive move to do the right thing for yourself as well as it will help them. ...crazy mike


PS: Before you guys tell me enough crazy, I'll stop and back out now. But thanks OP if you got anything out of what I've said. Done deal....mike

this. pretty much.

the $50 was a lot more than it seemed after everything else free. and eventually owning the business was 100k+ a year.

[tigerspawn]

Even though its family never believe that you will receive a business unless its in writing.