need advice on resigning from job

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 05:21 AM

So, I've been working for my current employer for the past 4 1/2 years. I work overseas (I am American, but work in Africa). Long story short, I was employed here because I have experience in a building technology which I acquired from my past employer in the States. My current employer purchased the technology from my past employer, and I was offered a job to come over and run the department.

I get along well with my boss, always have. However, I have been offered another job in the States, and I want to take it. This will also allow me to be close to family. We are in the process of expanding right now (buying more fixed capital and taking on bigger projects), which makes it an inconvenient time to up and resign. I will also have to train someone else to take my place. Standard procedure here is to give a one month notice.

So, I'm looking for some advice on the best way to approach my boss and tell him that I'm leaving, given the above-mentioned circumstances. How would you guys handle it?

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-12-2013, 05:29 AM

Approach your boss and be frank with him. Let him know that you want to be stateside with your family and that you have another job offer on the table. It's nothing personal, it's just business.

Of course I would state it in a way that it'd let him make a counter offer to keep you. Everybody has a price.

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 05:29 AM

Another thing to note: I DO have an associate who can run the department, meaning it's not like the whole department will go up in flames when I leave, however, there is too big of a work load for a single person to handle, which is why I'll need to train someone else before I leave. It's not difficult; the basics can be taught within 2-3 weeks to just about anyone with construction experience.

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 05:34 AM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

Approach your boss and be frank with him. Let him know that you want to be stateside with your family and that you have another job offer on the table. It's nothing personal, it's just business.

Of course I would state it in a way that it'd let him make a counter offer to keep you. Everybody has a price.

Thanks Honkey Kong. Any ideas on the details? Like, how would you start off? Just sit down in his office and say "I've been offered another job"? What EXACTLY would you do/say? Would appreciate some details.

**DSM4Life** · 07-12-2013, 05:46 AM

Are you 100% set on going back the states? Do you hate the current type of work? Location?

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-12-2013, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by musclestack

Thanks Honkey Kong. Any ideas on the details? Like, how would you start off? Just sit down in his office and say "I've been offered another job"? What EXACTLY would you do/say? Would appreciate some details.

It's best to just be upfront and honest and not sugar coat anything. Ask him to arrange some time in the day to meet private that way you'll have his attention and you wont feel rushed. Just don't beat around the bush. Go in there and say "I've been offered another job." Don't give him too many details of the place you'd be going to, but just go in to depth about how you want to work stateside. You'll actually feel better once you get it out of the way. He might get a little angry in the discussion, but just stay cool.

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Are you 100% set on going back the states? Do you hate the current type of work? Location?

Actually I've been thinking about/wanting to go back for quite some time now. I love africa, but I know I don't want to settle down here. I'll be 30 years old next year, and want to think about settling down a bit. Now this opportunity came, and it seems like this is my chance. I'm not married, no kids, but I would be living near my brother, and my parents and other relatives are a short drive away from where I'd be staying. As far as the work, I must admit that I'm pretty bored of it and would like to change things up a bit.

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

It's best to just be upfront and honest and not sugar coat anything. Ask him to arrange some time in the day to meet private that way you'll have his attention and you wont feel rushed. Just don't beat around the bush. Go in there and say "I've been offered another job." Don't give him too many details of the place you'd be going to, but just go in to depth about how you want to work stateside. You'll actually feel better once you get it out of the way. He might get a little angry in the discussion, but just stay cool.

Thanks. Appreciate the advice. I know he's going to try and talk me into staying. Should I just emphasize the fact that I want to expand my knowledge in other areas of construction and be close to family?

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-12-2013, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by musclestack

Thanks. Appreciate the advice. I know he's going to try and talk me into staying. Should I just emphasize the fact that I want to expand my knowledge in other areas of construction and be close to family?

I would.

**Igifuno** · 07-12-2013, 07:02 AM

I agree with honkey.. Be straight forward, call a meeting with him and tell him, 'the reason I wanted to meet with you is because I have accepted another job and need to give you notice'.

Couple things: make up your mind on want you want to do and what you would entertain if he counteroffers. Don't play games. If you know you would accept a counter, tell him about the opportunity prior to accepting the job in the US. If not, you can tentatively accept the job, tell your current boss your position and ask him not to counteroffer. That's all fair play right there.

Good luck bro - kind of a cool position to be in actually. Congrats on the new opportunity.

Igi

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

I agree with honkey.. Be straight forward, call a meeting with him and tell him, 'the reason I wanted to meet with you is because I have accepted another job and need to give you notice'.

Couple things: make up your mind on want you want to do and what you would entertain if he counteroffers. Don't play games. If you know you would accept a counter, tell him about the opportunity prior to accepting the job in the US. If not, you can tentatively accept the job, tell your current boss your position and ask him not to counteroffer. That's all fair play right there.

Good luck bro - kind of a cool position to be in actually. Congrats on the new opportunity.

Igi

Thanks, Igi. I am not looking to accept any counter-offer. The amount they would need to counter-offer me to stay would be astronomical. I am set on resigning and going back home after 4 great years here. It's just time to move on. I am basically just asking advice on the best way to go about it, which I believe I have received from you guys. Many thanks to all who posted.

And oh, it is a cool position. I've learned more in the past 4 years than I have in the 15 years before it, combined, traveling the world, meeting new people from nearly every corner of the globe. And I will most certainly thank him for the opportunity.

**Rusty11** · 07-12-2013, 07:54 AM

I guess it depends on what's more important; wife / family or remaining in a job where you're ready and eager to move on. If it's the former, that's all you need to tell him. Good luck.

**Blankinator** · 07-12-2013, 08:02 AM

I'd focus on the family aspect. Makes for an easier conversation. He has nothing in his bag to solve that problem.

As for the money aspect, of course everyone has a price in a counter offer, but what I've found is that if there are other reasons for wanting to leave, money might "make things better" for about six months - then you realize all those other reasons still exist.

Good luck.

**spywizard** · 07-12-2013, 08:48 AM

what i would do is offer to work as a consultant for them.. yes it will be hard, but if you feel you owe them something they can still have access to you.. train your replacement?? that's 2x my current bill rate to train people, simple enough..

if they were to lay you off how much "notice" do you get??

that's my thought on the idea..

you can easily consult remotely, heck you can connect and direct the people to touch and feel on site..

**spywizard** · 07-12-2013, 08:50 AM

and if you are doing what i think you are doing, it's $125-200 hr, depending on hours needed and contract length..

anything cissco is closer to the top end..

application development is $135 hr 40 hr week x 6 month commitment on the employers part..

**ChiveOn** · 07-12-2013, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

Approach your boss and be frank with him. Let him know that you want to be stateside with your family and that you have another job offer on the table. It's nothing personal, it's just business.

Of course I would state it in a way that it'd let him make a counter offer to keep you. Everybody has a price.

^^This. People come and go all the time. You have to look out for your best interests. If pure that important to the company your employer will find a way to keep you. You went in and started things up and you have an associate capable of keeping things from exploding. All in all, I'd say you did everything you were supposed I do. No hard feelings

**Igifuno** · 07-12-2013, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by musclestack

Thanks, Igi. I am not looking to accept any counter-offer. The amount they would need to counter-offer me to stay would be astronomical. I am set on resigning and going back home after 4 great years here. It's just time to move on. I am basically just asking advice on the best way to go about it, which I believe I have received from you guys. Many thanks to all who posted.

And oh, it is a cool position. I've learned more in the past 4 years than I have in the 15 years before it, combined, traveling the world, meeting new people from nearly every corner of the globe. And I will most certainly thank him for the opportunity.

Sounds like you've made up your mind then.. You can go in there with a clear conscience, give notice and walk away knowing you did what you wanted to do.

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 09:33 AM

Originally Posted by spywizard

and if you are doing what i think you are doing, it's $125-200 hr, depending on hours needed and contract length..

anything cissco is closer to the top end..

application development is $135 hr 40 hr week x 6 month commitment on the employers part..

I'm curious spywizard, what is it that you think I'm doing? I'll let you know if you're right!

**musclestack** · 07-12-2013, 09:39 AM

Thanks to everyone for all the advice. Everything mentioned is exactly what I've been thinking in the back of my mind the whole time; just wanted to get some input, particularly from people who have quit their jobs before. I, myself, have only resigned once before (from the past employer I mentioned before), and it was not on good terms (didn't care for my old boss, so that made it MUCH easier. My current boss, on the other hand, has treated me like family from day one, so it's not as easy.

Again, thanks for all the advice.

**Times Roman** · 07-12-2013, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by musclestack

So, I've been working for my current employer for the past 4 1/2 years. I work overseas (I am American, but work in Africa). Long story short, I was employed here because I have experience in a building technology which I acquired from my past employer in the States. My current employer purchased the technology from my past employer, and I was offered a job to come over and run the department.

I get along well with my boss, always have. However, I have been offered another job in the States, and I want to take it. This will also allow me to be close to family. We are in the process of expanding right now (buying more fixed capital and taking on bigger projects), which makes it an inconvenient time to up and resign. I will also have to train someone else to take my place. Standard procedure here is to give a one month notice.

So, I'm looking for some advice on the best way to approach my boss and tell him that I'm leaving, given the above-mentioned circumstances. How would you guys handle it?

I'm a little bit of a cynic on this subject. If an employer wants to let you go, they will do so immediately, and with no notice. But if you want to leave, then they want advance notice, and you to stick around to train your replacement.

The reality is there is NO employer/employee loyalty these days.

Give a two week notice and move on.

If they want you to stick around longer, this is an EXCELLENT opportunity to negotiate yourself a retention bonus. Personally, if they wanted me to train my replacement, I'd suggest a minimum $5k to $10k bonus, payable half now, and half on completion. Your knowledge/experience has value, you should treat it as such.

Don't be naive and think you owe them anything.

Good luck!
---Roman

**AZGOLDSMEMBER86** · 07-12-2013, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by musclestack

So, I've been working for my current employer for the past 4 1/2 years. I work overseas (I am American, but work in Africa). Long story short, I was employed here because I have experience in a building technology which I acquired from my past employer in the States. My current employer purchased the technology from my past employer, and I was offered a job to come over and run the department.

I get along well with my boss, always have. However, I have been offered another job in the States, and I want to take it. This will also allow me to be close to family. We are in the process of expanding right now (buying more fixed capital and taking on bigger projects), which makes it an inconvenient time to up and resign. I will also have to train someone else to take my place. Standard procedure here is to give a one month notice.

So, I'm looking for some advice on the best way to approach my boss and tell him that I'm leaving, given the above-mentioned circumstances. How would you guys handle it?

Be honest, and professional, and passionate. ultimately you have to do whats best for you and your family if you have one.
Good luck

**Honkey_Kong** · 07-13-2013, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

I'm a little bit of a cynic on this subject. If an employer wants to let you go, they will do so immediately, and with no notice. But if you want to leave, then they want advance notice, and you to stick around to train your replacement.

The reality is there is NO employer/employee loyalty these days.

Give a two week notice and move on.

If they want you to stick around longer, this is an EXCELLENT opportunity to negotiate yourself a retention bonus. Personally, if they wanted me to train my replacement, I'd suggest a minimum $5k to $10k bonus, payable half now, and half on completion. Your knowledge/experience has value, you should treat it as such.

Don't be naive and think you owe them anything.

Good luck!
---Roman

^^^ THIS!!!

It's sad that we as people cannot hold any loyalty anymore. But you're right, they will drop us like a bad habit, so we should do the same to them whenever something better comes.

Work is all business, not personal.