Make it official or steer clear?

[brazuka]

You are unsure if you want to be in a relationship or not. You have been seeing a girl for about two months. She treats you really really good. Nothing is official but the both of you are not seeing anybody else. Do you bring up the subject of getting in a relationship? Or do you just keep things going the way they are.

Seems like keeping things the way they are and not bringing up the relationship subject is the best thing to do. If you were to get into a relationship, I don't think anything would change except that there would be potential for a breakup in which case you won't be seeing her anymore afterwards. Since we aren't official we can't breakup, so there is no risk involved and we will continue to see each other .

She is really good to you but she hasn't brought up the subject either. I don't want to be soft, so if we do get into a relationship it will be if she brings it up first. But she hasn't yet and everything has been going great, so if it ain't broke don't fix it right?
Just wanting to get some input, what do you guys think?

[fit2bOld]

Leave it alone or your gonna screw it up.

[RipOwens]

You're thinking through this very logically, like a guy. But she's more emotional, and those feelings don't follow your method of thinking. Two months? Let it be and have some fun you two.

[austinite]

Forget about it... What's wrong with just getting your dick wet these days?

[bdos]

Forget about it... What's wrong with just getting your dick wet these days?

Teen pregnancy is accepted

[brazuka]

Awesome answers!! Just as I was thinking just needed some reassurance! We know how to play the game well, thank you!

[Gaspari1255]

Don't fix something that isn't broken..

[Lunk1]

Sounds to me like you are already IN a relationship. Labeling it as "not official" so that you are not hurt when she dumps you because you can't commit, doesn't make it easier.

If she is that good to you and you care fore her, then take a chance. WTF is the difference between official or unofficial? You will be "officially" pissed when she finds someone who doesn't consider her an unofficial booty call.

[austinite]

^ Don't listen to that guy! He just wants you to get married and be miserable like him. hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

kidding lunkster..

[Gaspari1255]

Sounds to me like you are already IN a relationship. Labeling it as "not official" so that you are not hurt when she dumps you because you can't commit, doesn't make it easier.

If she is that good to you and you care fore her, then take a chance. WTF is the difference between official or unofficial? You will be "officially" pissed when she finds someone who doesn't consider her an unofficial booty call.

We don't know this. Are they just fvcking or do they go out on dates and hang out all the time? "Seeing her" for 2 months is very vague.

[Lunk1]

We don't know this. Are they just fvcking or do they go out on dates and hang out all the time? "Seeing her" for 2 months is very vague.

They been seeing each other exclusively for the last 2 months. By MY definition it's a relationship.

[austinite]

They've been seeing each other exclusively for the last 2 months. By MY definition it's a relationship.

Fixed. hahahaha. Sucker.

[brazuka]

Sorry it was vague guys so i'll clear it up. The first night we went on a date to dinner... the second date was at a gun range (she's a badass into guns) then right after the gun range we went to the beach boardwalk to just walk talk and chill. The other 3 times we hung out was when we met up at clubs together. One time also we hung out at the bar together. All other times it was her coming over to my place and spending the night or me going to her place and spending the night. So we haven't been on an official date for a while just us two because I don't really consider the club a date... Hope that clears some things up

[DSM4Life]

The first night you get anal you are officially a couple.

[Igifuno]

The first night you get anal you are officially a couple.

#goals

[Lunk1]

The first night you get anal you are officially a couple.

Does this mean gay men couple up quicker than the average hetero couple ?

[DSM4Life]

Does this mean gay men couple up quicker than the average hetero couple ?

Yes. It's also possible to be in a relationship with yourself...

[brazuka]

Well that escalated quickly

[Honkey_Kong]

Yes. It's also possible to be in a relationship with yourself...

I hope you wear gloves when you shake people's hands. Unless you're left handed of course.

[Honkey_Kong]

Brazuka, you can call it whatever you want, but face it, you're in a relationship with that broad. If she tells you tomorrow that she's going to go fvck some other dude, you're going to be just as hurt/pissed as you would if you were "official."

Besides, I think it's kind of a juvenile thing to have to make things "official." You can tell if you're in one or not without having to be like to her "let's be an item." It's not like 5th grade dating where you make things official by lunch on Monday and by Friday, you're broken up.

[PistolPete33]

Sounds to me that YOU want to be in a relationship with her.

[Rusty11]

Sounds like you've only hung out 10/12 times. Don't do anything yet. Just have fun.
This advice comes from a guy married so long that he doesn't even remember what "hanging out" means anymore.

[brazuka]

Brazuka, you can call it whatever you want, but face it, you're in a relationship with that broad. If she tells you tomorrow that she's going to go fvck some other dude, you're going to be just as hurt/pissed as you would if you were "official."

Besides, I think it's kind of a juvenile thing to have to make things "official." You can tell if you're in one or not without having to be like to her "let's be an item." It's not like 5th grade dating where you make things official by lunch on Monday and by Friday, you're broken up.

Didn't think about it like that great advice thanks

Sounds to me that YOU want to be in a relationship with her.

Maybe who knows, I just want to keep her around is all

Sounds like you've only hung out 10/12 times. Don't do anything yet. Just have fun.
This advice comes from a guy married so long that he doesn't even remember what "hanging out" means anymore.

Lol

[brazuka]

Ok so here we are, 2.5 years down the line.

This girl fell in love with me. I fell in love with her. She was everything I could have ever asked for. Never been happier in my life by a longshot. We ended up becoming "official" and getting into a relationship 6 months after exclusively seeing each other. She told me one night out after we were leaving the club she loved me, I told her I loved her back 2 or 3 days later and we made things official. I didn't want to say it just because she said it, but deep down I knew I loved her.

Fast forward to 1.5 years of meeting her. I made a mistake I will never make again in my life, she was devastated and crushed because of my actions. To this day I feel guilt, pain, and regret of what I did. Ever since that happened, it was never the same and we were constantly on and off and many, many things happened you guys wouldn't believe and I probably don't even remember all of it in detail.

Today, she lives with a boyfriend of whom she has been seeing for a year. 5 months into their relationship she tried to contact me and try again while with this guy, telling me she was single. She was scared she would have lost him coming back to try again with me and us going back to the same trust issues and problems as before. This lasted a month, and it was over.

WORD OF ADVICE TO ANYONE READING THIS, EVEN YOUNGER GUYS LIKE MYSELF
If you have someone you truly love and treats you right, someone that has a warm kind giving and loyal heart, someone who you could see as being the mother of your kids... Treat her right and be loyal. I will never inflict this pain on someone again, because to this day I feel so much pain and regret and sadness for what I did, and what it ultimately led to.

Since this girl, I have slept with at least another 20 women, and haven't found one I would be interested in dating. I'm working more on myself and trying to be the best I possibly can, hoping another great woman like her will come into my life one day. I have a great job at the age of 23 ~$50,000 after taxes (roughly $75-80k salary wise), finished paying off my 2016 vehicle completely, currently in the process of building up my credit score, and going to be taking a pay cut starting in a few months for the next 2 years as I am financially stable in order to Begin college full time. I'm going for my masters in international business. My schedule will be ~25 work hours a week, two 12 hour shifts and have 5 days off for my school and education which will be paid in cash and I won't have any loans by the time I finish my bachelors. Maybe I'll have to take one out for my masters but that's far ahead, who knows. Still feel like there is a huge void in my life and something is missing.

There it is guys... If you take anything from reading this then just remember to be loyal to the one you love or break up with them if you aren't going to be because it's better that way. I never thought I'd be the type of guy that would do this. But I made my mistake, and the pain I caused for her and I has taught me the consequences of my actions and I will never do it again, I never want to inflict or feel that pain again. I still love this girl and she still loves me very much to this day, but I think it's safe to way we both can't see us being with each other again.

Thanks for reading... Until next time.

-b

[Xv1d]

That post hitt me right in the feels. Thanks for sharing

[bsh]

Ur young have fun and don't get too seriously involved if possible... U have ur whole life ahead of u and rushing into any relationship is just not sound advice...