Philosophical Discussoin 2: Your woman is very ill, and there are meds available....

[Times Roman]

.....the problem with the meds is that they will improve her quality of life but substantially reduce her life span. (This is something a friend of mine is going through).

What would you tell her?

Would you suggest the meds (only ones available), but run the risk of losing her in just a few years?

Or would you tell her she needs to deal with the pain (and she will live a relatively normally long life - probably 25 more years based on her current age)?

[Lunk1]

When you are weighing 25 years against 3 years. The pain would have to be excruciatingly unbearable for me to trade 25 for 3.

[Times Roman]

When you are weighing 25 years against 3 years. The pain would have to be excruciatingly unbearable for me to trade 25 for 3.

it's more like five to seven years, but still.............

[Times Roman]

she can't hardly get out of bed in the morning. She has a variety of significant illness'/conditions. I try not to get too personal by asking about all the details, I just get small bits of info here and there.

[Sicko]

Without knowing the extent of the pain or declined quality of life. I would have to say I would not choose 3 over 25 unless the other 22yrs would be absolutely debilitating or an extreme burden on my family.

[Lunk1]

It's a very personal decision that would be very individualized. I'm sure one would have to assess their current quality of life and weigh it against the alternative. Too many variables for anyone to decide or even offer a suggestion without being in her position.

[Times Roman]

he doesn't know what to say or do for her. obviously he wants her around for as long as possible. AND obviously he wants her to be as pain free as possible.


she's been taking the meds.................

[DOSA]

if she is as bad as you briefly describe i would advise for the meds.
having someone around that cant get out of bed, cant live any type of life is selfish on our side.
i would want that individual to feel as good as possible for whatever time they have.

we all are going to die, but i feel we should want the best quality of life for each individual.

[Times Roman]

what do you suggest telling the children?

[Lunk1]

what do you suggest telling the children?

The truth!

[joebailey1271]

I think you should tell your friend he should let the sick person make the decision, otherwise he will feel guilty and allways question himself if he did what was right. At least if she chooses then he can support her and say that he did what she wanted.

[Times Roman]

I think you should tell your friend he should let the sick person make the decision, otherwise he will feel guilty and allways question himself if he did what was right. At least if she chooses then he can support her and say that he did what she wanted.

well, in this scenario, I wouldn't offer unsolicited advice. It's between he, his woman, and their family.

and he told me he doesn't know what to tell her, and admitted it is her decision.

[joebailey1271]

Yea its allways their decision, kind of lime when people signs DNR'S.

[GirlyGymRat]

Tragic. It's the patients decision. However complicated for the family. Is it selfish act when cancer patients go thru chemo bc the family isn't willing to be without the loved one?

[jasc]

Really depends on the quality of life. If it was 3 years of feeling great vs 25 yrs of debilitating agony I'd opt for the 3 great years and make em the best years of her life, but ultimately it's her choice. I'd hate to see a loved one suffer for 25 long years.

Sorry to hear about your friends situation. Best wishes to both of them.

[lovbyts]

Really depends on the quality of life. If it was 3 years of feeling great vs 25 yrs of debilitating agony I'd opt for the 3 great years and make em the best years of her life, but ultimately it's her choice. I'd hate to see a loved one suffer for 25 long years.

Sorry to hear about your friends situation. Best wishes to both of them.

I agree with the above. I was in a situation where I was in debilitating pain for only 2 weeks and I would not have chosen to live that way for even six months or a year let alone 20. If surgery hadn't fixed it I would have found a way to end it.

That being said I would choose the less pain route and continue looking for alternatives.

[David LoPan]

This is the reason that I have a living will in place. I personally would not want to live longer if it meant more pain. I have heard for a lot of pts that medical MJ has really helped with the pain. I am not promoting req drug use but I would explore all possible for pain relief.

Sorry your friend and family is having to deal with this.

[Rwy]

I personal would rather have good quality years then more subpar average ones. However I am very actuve and would be pretty depressed sitting in bed. Quality over quantity

[Chicagotarsier]

Agree, I would not recommend crap but provide any option I found to them.. Their choice their life.

It's a very personal decision that would be very individualized. I'm sure one would have to assess their current quality of life and weigh it against the alternative. Too many variables for anyone to decide or even offer a suggestion without being in her position.

[Times Roman]

it's a difficult position to be in............