
Originally Posted by
xjay1234
I don't want to make this a dissertation length so I will keep it as brief as possible.
It is hard to say whether my mental state is depressed or sad. Could be a small percentage of both.
But to cut a long story short there was a female that I met last summer, she is from Turkey but was in England attending an English school.
Met her we liked each other went out in London and connected a lot and was even passionate together since then talked a lot online and on WhatsApp.
A month ago (a year later) went out to Turkey to see her.
Now it seems that MAYBE we accept how hard it will be due to the distance and plus we come from different backgrounds.
And it seems as if we have kinda floated apart so to speak.
And I am going through a tough time.
Every morning I wake up in my bed I am just cold inside.
Even at the gym I am just miserable! After I did some deadlifts I left the gym and went straight to Tesco to buy comfort foods and eat.......
Listening to Beyonce's Brown Eyes track over and over and over and over and over and over again whilst simultaneously watching Airbus A380 compilation videos on YouTube.
Yes I love her but it is more the realisation.
Starting to eat a lot, eating 6 trays of Muller Corner yogurts at once, trying to get some kind of comfort, it is phenomenal that I am still slim and in shape.
But I am just very sad inside and unhappy.
Odd occasion been crying to myself as well.
At home I don't want to talk much, I just want to stay inside my room on the laptop or play on the PlayStation.
I want to go to the doctor and ask for antidepressants, however I must be careful because I am applying for my PGCE come the Autumn and if there are medical checks (which I should imagine there will be) and they see I was on antidepressants I don't want that the effect me getting a place.
But if I can get good consistent therapy at least I need that help.
But I am not happy at all, and MONEY means nothing!
It really is true money can not buy happiness, has 5hit to do with your bank balance.