Need some advice!

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 05:26 PM

In my neighborhood there is a 6 year old who is permitted to ride the streets on his bike unsupervised. I've seen him knocking on neighbors doors regularly, and he's knocked on my door as late as 8pm wanting to know if my 2 year old can come out and play. One weekend he spent more than 2 hours in the sand box with my daughter and no one checked on him. The wife called DCS a couple weeks ago for a wellness check because there are active train tracks near by and apparently no one is actively watching over this child.

He seems to be a very lonely child and I'm to a point where I feel I should take him in to a degree. At least if he's here I know he's safe as opposed to riding the street in traffic, but at the same time I worry about any liability I may have if he were to get hurt here.

Kind of at a loss and looking for some outside advice.

**austinite** · 08-04-2014, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by Dpyle

In my neighborhood there is a 6 year old who is permitted to ride the streets on his bike unsupervised. I've seen him knocking on neighbors doors regularly, and he's knocked on my door as late as 8pm wanting to know if my 2 year old can come out and play. One weekend he

Left me in suspense there...

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by austinite

Left me in suspense there...

App glitched and had to post then edit to finish the post.

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 05:48 PM

He's already knocked on the door for the third time tonight.

**Cuz** · 08-04-2014, 05:53 PM

Havr you asked and or contacted his parents?

**austinite** · 08-04-2014, 05:58 PM

Maybe his parents need a spanking.

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by Cuz

Havr you asked and or contacted his parents?

Haven't spoken with the parents. I've seen them only once or twice riding a bike with him. So it would appear that they don't care where he is. He's not malnourished or anything. Just not looked after. He rolled his bike into my front yard about 8am Saturday morning as we were leaving for the day. He seems to be a lonely child just looking for attention anywhere he can find it. Which is what makes me the most nervous. He seems like he would attach to anyone that shows him a little attention.

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by austinite

Maybe his parents need a spanking.

It would seem to be the case. They don't seem to be very good at being parents.

**austinite** · 08-04-2014, 06:03 PM

If you have a neighborhood association, you could probably send a complaint and they might mention it. If not, speak to neighbors to see if they're tired of it, too. If you don't feel comfortable talking to the parents, maybe one of them will.

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by austinite

If you have a neighborhood association, you could probably send a complaint and they might mention it. If not, speak to neighbors to see if they're tired of it, too. If you don't feel comfortable talking to the parents, maybe one of them will.

Not quite that kind of neighborhood unfortunately. Wasn't that long ago that the wife caught a drug deal going down just around the corner.

When I first bought the house it was a quiet neighborhood full of older couples but over the last couple years the demographic has changed

**austinite** · 08-04-2014, 06:18 PM

Originally Posted by Dpyle

Not quite that kind of neighborhood unfortunately. Wasn't that long ago that the wife caught a drug deal going down just around the corner.

Oh. Well I would avoid confrontations in that case. That sucks. Sorry man.

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by austinite

Oh. Well I would avoid confrontations in that case. That sucks. Sorry man.

Yeah. I just feel sorry for the kid. He's fed and clothed, but begging for attention anywhere he can get it.

**GirlyGymRat** · 08-04-2014, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by Dpyle

Yeah. I just feel sorry for the kid. He's fed and clothed, but begging for attention anywhere he can get it.

Just breaks my heart to read about this little boy. All he wants is someone to love him back. So sad. I would want to help him but not sure how? The parents don't care or can't care after him. If no one intervenes, he could become a lost soul. Gosh. Any ideas anyone???

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat

Just breaks my heart to read about this little boy. All he wants is someone to love him back. So sad. I would want to help him but not sure how? The parents don't care or can't care after him. If no one intervenes, he could become a lost soul. Gosh. Any ideas anyone???

Just finished letting him play for about an hour. Told him maybe we could play earlier tomorrow. I've broke down, just gonna have to let him in. I've tried turning him away and he just seemed so broken every time. I can't do that anymore, it's not in my nature. And I'm lost for any other options. The DCS call seemed to be a bust, so I suppose I now have an adopted child down the street.

**Capebuffalo** · 08-04-2014, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Dpyle

Just finished letting him play for about an hour. Told him maybe we could play earlier tomorrow. I've broke down, just gonna have to let him in. I've tried turning him away and he just seemed so broken every time. I can't do that anymore, it's not in my nature. And I'm lost for any other options. The DCS call seemed to be a bust, so I suppose I now have an adopted child down the street.

Sometimes it only takes that one nice person to change a child's life. If you feel it's appropriate, be that person to him. The unofficial big brothers program. Good for you.

**Dpyle** · 08-04-2014, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

Sometimes it only takes that one nice person to change a child's life. If you feel it's appropriate, be that person to him. The unofficial big brothers program. Good for you.

He's obviously missing something important in his life the way his face lit up when I told home home he could come back after we had dinner, and how eager he was when I told him maybe we could play earlier tomorrow. I hate to think of what he has to go home to. The thought of it caused me to need an extra dose of my alprazolam just to get ready for bed. Thoughts like this are what cause my insomnia, but this is the first time it's hit this close to home, which make it that much worse.

This poor child apparently has no one that cares, or maybe he has parents that are doing the best they can, but either way he's missing something at home. A void he is trying to fill around the neighborhood.

**Cuz** · 08-04-2014, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by Dpyle

Just finished letting him play for about an hour. Told him maybe we could play earlier tomorrow. I've broke down, just gonna have to let him in. I've tried turning him away and he just seemed so broken every time. I can't do that anymore, it's not in my nature. And I'm lost for any other options. The DCS call seemed to be a bust, so I suppose I now have an adopted child down the street.

Take care of that boy every chance you get. Like Cape said you may change his life. For the better.

**DOSA** · 08-04-2014, 08:06 PM

You my friend are a class act.

I thank you for your kindness, we all need more people like you in this world.
Or atleast our neighborhoods..

**Capebuffalo** · 08-04-2014, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Dpyle

He's obviously missing something important in his life the way his face lit up when I told home home he could come back after we had dinner, and how eager he was when I told him maybe we could play earlier tomorrow. I hate to think of what he has to go home to. The thought of it caused me to need an extra dose of my alprazolam just to get ready for bed. Thoughts like this are what cause my insomnia, but this is the first time it's hit this close to home, which make it that much worse.

This poor child apparently has no one that cares, or maybe he has parents that are doing the best they can, but either way he's missing something at home. A void he is trying to fill around the neighborhood.

You don't need advise. You know what you are going to do. And you know it's the right thing. You're a good man. Remember that.

**lovbyts** · 08-04-2014, 09:33 PM

I was just listening to the radio this morning about a missing 6yr old girl. Parents say she regularly wonders around the trailer part by herself and will be gone all day so when she was not home Saturday morning they thought she just went out early and did not call the police until 10pm because they thought she was just out and about having fun.

WTF is wrong with people. They should not have kids. Wow no wonder so many kids go missing or get molested when parents let 6yr old wonder around the neighborhood alone all day.

Public's help needed in search for missing 6-year-old girl | Local & Regional | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News

**Capebuffalo** · 08-04-2014, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

I was just listening to the radio this morning about a missing 6yr old girl. Parents say she regularly wonders around the trailer part by herself and will be gone all day so when she was not home Saturday morning they thought she just went out early and did not call the police until 10pm because they thought she was just out and about having fun.

WTF is wrong with people. They should not have kids. Wow no wonder so many kids go missing or get molested when parents let 6yr old wonder around the neighborhood alone all day.

Public's help needed in search for missing 6-year-old girl | Local & Regional | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News

I've never understood why you have to have a license to drive, fly, practice law etc. , but don't have to have one to be a parent. The most important job on the planet, everyone is eligible.

**lovbyts** · 08-05-2014, 01:37 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

I've never understood why you have to have a license to drive, fly, practice law etc. , but don't have to have one to be a parent. The most important job on the planet, everyone is eligible.

And it seem the less qualified you are the more kids they have.

It's a catch 22 with what to do such as the little boy looking for attention with Dpyle because if you take him in the 1st time something happens the parents will probably try to sue you or make some accusation.

With my 1st daughter I was a single dad for a long time because her mom died when she was 2 1/2. Starting at about 7 or younger little girls started coming over and spending the night. Most of the time I had never even meet these parents and was just informed by my daughter and her friend she was staying the night. I of course would call the parents to check this out and they always said yes that's fine. Really??? They have never meet me, didnt know anything about me but it was fine with them their daughters were going to be spending the night.

I NEVER let my daughter spend the night with anyone else and she never asked to but it's just weird to me that so many parents are OK with this. Not very long ago after a school activity we saw one of my 2nd daughters class mate waiting for her dad outside by the flag pole (2nd grade) so we waited with her for 45 minutes well after dark until her dad arrived. We were the last ones at the school. She was expected to just wait for him alone until he showed up. It may have been a 1off deal but still.

**Dpyle** · 08-05-2014, 02:10 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

And it seem the less qualified you are the more kids they have.

It's a catch 22 with what to do such as the little boy looking for attention with Dpyle because if you take him in the 1st time something happens the parents will probably try to sue you or make some accusation.

With my 1st daughter I was a single dad for a long time because her mom died when she was 2 1/2. Starting at about 7 or younger little girls started coming over and spending the night. Most of the time I had never even meet these parents and was just informed by my daughter and her friend she was staying the night. I of course would call the parents to check this out and they always said yes that's fine. Really??? They have never meet me, didnt know anything about me but it was fine with them their daughters were going to be spending the night.

I NEVER let my daughter spend the night with anyone else and she never asked to but it's just weird to me that so many parents are OK with this. Not very long ago after a school activity we saw one of my 2nd daughters class mate waiting for her dad outside by the flag pole (2nd grade) so we waited with her for 45 minutes well after dark until her dad arrived. We were the last ones at the school. She was expected to just wait for him alone until he showed up. It may have been a 1off deal but still.

Yeah. The liability issues are what worry me the most about the whole situation.

**Capebuffalo** · 08-05-2014, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by Dpyle

Yeah. The liability issues are what worry me the most about the whole situation.

I understand but if you don't who will? Just never be alone with him. If it's just you in the house say it's not a good time come back in a bit my wife and kids will be back. Don't drive him to get ice cream. Be the good person you are. Just be careful about it.

**Dpyle** · 08-05-2014, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

I understand but if you don't who will? Just never be alone with him. If it's just you in the house say it's not a good time come back in a bit my wife and kids will be back. Don't drive him to get ice cream. Be the good person you are. Just be careful about it.

Yeah. So far it's just been time in the front yard. Safer out in the open like that

**Capebuffalo** · 08-05-2014, 07:05 AM

I had a guy that worked for me. He started sweeping floors for my dad when he was 8. He's near 50 yrs old now. He is (was) a functioning alcoholic. Drugs were used. He had a young son by a woman and she had custody. It got to the point she couldn't control him and sent him to live with his dad. During the summer he came to work with him. Good kid. I started taking him with me places bank lunch. He showed a great interest in hunting. I started taking him. He was 8-9 at this point. Took him over Christmas break. His dad was going to ride with my mom and stay at camp a few days. His dad didn't show. Couldn't be reached. I saw true sadness for the first time. Long story short. He wound up stay at my house for almost a year. I'd take him to school. His mom wanted him to move back and he did. I kept in touch. He got older and it got harder. At 16 he he got a girl pregnant and went to jail for shooting at someone. I wonder if that would have happened if I had done more to be a positive influence in his life. My point is kids need influence and role models. Do you want to be that for the kid in you neighborhood?

**lovbyts** · 08-05-2014, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

I understand but if you don't who will? Just never be alone with him. If it's just you in the house say it's not a good time come back in a bit my wife and kids will be back. Don't drive him to get ice cream. Be the good person you are. Just be careful about it.

True, my 1st wife's younger brother is the only one in his family that did not get hooked on drugs, did not go to jail and is has never been on welfare. The rest of the family are pretty much full time welfare scammers and druggies. He said the only reason is because as a kid he never spent any time at home except to sleep and he was raised by all the neighborhood friends parents.

On a side note I'm still trying to talk the wife into adopting the twins.

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**Capebuffalo** · 08-05-2014, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

True, my 1st wife's younger brother is the only one in his family that did not get hooked on drugs, did not go to jail and is has never been on welfare. The rest of the family are pretty much full time welfare scammers and druggies. He said the only reason is because as a kid he never spent any time at home except to sleep and he was raised by all the neighborhood friends parents.

On a side note I'm still trying to talk the wife into adopting the twins.

Delicious.

**Dpyle** · 08-05-2014, 05:35 PM

It's odd and I'm a bit nervous, but after telling the little man to come by earlier tonight he has yet to show. I'm a little torn at the moment.

**Rusty11** · 08-05-2014, 06:50 PM

In a perfect world, what you're doing is very nice and thoughtful. In the world we live in, I worry about liability issues. I'm a nice guy, but I'd let him knock and not answer. The best intentions can often go to sh**. Good luck and be careful.

**Dpyle** · 08-05-2014, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by Rusty11

In a perfect world, what you're doing is very nice and thoughtful. In the world we live in, I worry about liability issues. I'm a nice guy, but I'd let him knock and not answer. The best intentions can often go to sh**. Good luck and be careful.

Honestly that's how I tried to work the situation to begin with. I've turned him away many times, but it's not in my nature. I can't stand by and perpetuate the neglect this child must feel. He was in the sandbox with my daughter till near 9pm last night and no one was looking for him. He's shown up as early as 8am before wanting to know if my daughter could come out to play. Given the time frame he seems free to roam for more than 12 hours unsupervised, and at 6 years old that is unacceptable to me. So if I can spend an hour or so in the evenings keeping an eye on him, letting him have a companion in my daughter, and feeling a part of something it may mean the world to him.

**austinite** · 08-05-2014, 07:32 PM

http://www.amazon.com/Havahart-5266-...nsor+sprinkler

**Rusty11** · 08-05-2014, 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by austinite

http://www.amazon.com/Havahart-5266-...nsor+sprinkler

LOL!!

Are you kidding me? I've got two cats shi*ing and peeing in one spot in my front yard. It smells like death. Srsly, just placed an order!! Right on, austinite!

Dpyle...just be careful

**Honkey_Kong** · 08-06-2014, 04:38 AM

Is there a Boys and Girls club in your area? It might be worth it to take the kid to one of those places. There are other kids his age there and plenty of supervision. It sucks to see another kid with lousy parents in this world, but you're doing the right thing there for him.