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Thread: The Addictions Thread

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    Hoggage_54's Avatar
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    The Addictions Thread

    Serious thread.

    I've come to the realization that I'm an addict and will be seeking help. Without going into details, my job is on the line and it's either I deal with the abuse or lose my job. This has gone on for 5+ years and looking back, I've probably pissed away tens of thousands of dollars and have slowed my growth both personally and professionally.

    I haven't lifted a weight for about the same time period. After being a 6'6" 240lbs+ lean gym addict in my early 20's, I'm hovering around 230lbs and look like a soft big guy. My waist went from fitting into a size 30 pants (extra long length for my height and leg size), I now wear a 34-36 that is tight at the waist but baggy all the way down. Hoping to get clean soon and back to my favorite addiction, I think it would be a good opportunity to see how muscle memory works after all this time off.

    Any members want to share their experiences?

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    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    On a side note... this is always welcome.

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    Wish you the very best! Additions are tough so you be tougher! Get your support system on your side, identify and eliminate triggers. Getting back to gym an working out will make you feel better. Good luck.
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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post

    This is horrible. Someone forgot their remote control!
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    On a serious note. I didn't know you were "away" for so long. Bring back the discipline, you'll be just fine.
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    Breaking addiction requires more than discipline...pm if you want. I might be able to help.

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    Addictions come down to personality mate. Some people have addictive personalties while others don't Don't turn from a enthusiast to a addict. all in the mind mate.

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    I went through and addiction (rules won't let me discuss) when I had my father at home while he was on hospice dying of lung cancer. Addiction basically means habit... The only way to get rid of bad habits is to replace them with good ones. If you're talking about a physical addiction and physical withdrawal you can't break. PM me I may have some tips that helped me

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    Are you wanting to talk about the full thing on the board or in private ? I have the "addictive personality " too, and one that ****ed up my life for 20 years or certainly limited its potential, I'm 9 months straight now, in therapy, and the happiest iv been throghout my adult life. Good advice from GGR, get your support network in place, put barriers in place, get disciplined, we all know the gym and training can breed discipline.

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    I too, can not go into details but it's been over 6+ yrs... W/some more help I plan on becoming the person I always wanted... It's ruined relationships, friendships, jobs, family members, etc...

    Knowing and wanting to change is the first step and your already there! I broke my phone w/all my contacts at one point so I couldn't reach out to the negative people(misery loves company) and myself to even reach out... It's an amazing feeling when you've put it all behind you(the hardest part for me was forgiving myself!

    If you need/want to talk I'm here as well!

    Best of luck Hogg!!!!

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    Same here.

    Very addictive personality...some have been replaced with good addictions now some have not. Smoking is my biggest challenge now. But that is just a smaller one that we are aloud to talk about. It's been drugs, women, caffiene, gear....anything that I like ends up an addiction. Now I am addicted to my wife, my family, my job...

    I do have relapses...especially when I get prescribed something. So now if I have pain I try to deal the best without anything.

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    I wouldn't say I have an addictive personality because I could always stop whatever it was with no issues, it just had to be on my time when I was ready. I do have a problem of sorts with beer, I can't seem to keep it minimal and social, it always ends up becoming a daily thing drinking 10-20 a day. It's all or nothing with beer, so I try not to drink it, but I still dabble once in a while in my old raver ways, but rarely these days.

    I have gotten out of control and drudged around on the bottom for a while when I was younger, you just have to make the decision to get better, which it seems you have. It can be a long hard road, just keep your eye on the prize, it gets easier with time. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from certain people or a certain lifestyle to be successful at recovery. I left the country and moved to the opposite side of the continent which allowed me to start over without all the familiar triggers. You can do it, you have a huge genuine support system here, if you ever need to talk, any one of us would drop everything to help. Good luck bro, stay focused.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zempey
    I wouldn't say I have an addictive personality because I could always stop whatever it was with no issues, it just had to be on my time when I was ready. I do have a problem of sorts with beer, I can't seem to keep it minimal and social, it always ends up becoming a daily thing drinking 10-20 a day. It's all or nothing with beer, so I try not to drink it, but I still dabble once in a while in my old raver ways, but rarely these days.

    I have gotten out of control and drudged around on the bottom for a while when I was younger, you just have to make the decision to get better, which it seems you have. It can be a long hard road, just keep your eye on the prize, it gets easier with time. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from certain people or a certain lifestyle to be successful at recovery. I left the country and moved to the opposite side of the continent which allowed me to start over without all the familiar triggers. You can do it, you have a huge genuine support system here, if you ever need to talk, any one of us would drop everything to help. Good luck bro, stay focused.
    Removing yourself is a MAJOR step..... You can't be around whatever it is anymore. It's one thing to say no and put your mind to it. Until you see 2-3 of your friends doing it and having a blast. Then it's offered and you don't even have to pay..... Before you know it you've given in to temptation and set in motion a series of events that will fvck your life up again.
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    I have learned the meaning of true addiction within the last year. I was lucky enough to have a good set of friends and a wife that I had to come to for help.

    I rather not say what it was to, but it really did show me how addictions form. Along how and why they root themselves so deep within your mind.


    I battle my addiction almost every day - yesterday was def one of them. But, it's me who says "no" - I don't need it & it is draining me from my real life.

    Maybe some day I can pickup on some sort of public speaking knowledge to spread this to others that seek help.


    Before I went through this nightmare that felt like a few days - but, actually was over a half a year. I had no clue how deep an addiction can root itself within our nervous system.

    But, at the end - It's YOU that has the control.
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    Well said!

    I will add that making sure you cut off all contact(w/the so called friends/& even Dr's these days don't take there business seriously)...

    I can't agree more w/what Samson is referring to... I realized I wasn't right but when you hit rock bottom(and it will happen) is when shit starts to become more clear(whether you want to keep this up or do something about it)!!

    I chose the latter... And have never felt better... One thing I can say out in the open is w/my chronic pain(bersitus/total reverse joint replacement needed) was the prescription opiates! They ate me alive!!! At that time I couldnt/or didn't even want to lift let alone do anything... TBH, I felt like Id rather be dead.... And have died(and revived 3x) so that made a lasting impression, one that made me realize how serious this shit is!

    So just knowing you want to change is really the biggest part... Once you start applying these things(methods etc) you will be much happier! It won't happen over night that's for sure but it will get better/& easier with each day!!

    If I can get through to one person I feel I've done my job... But I will always be an addict so you live one day at a time! I too, feel like I need to get out there and tell my story as well!

    Best Hogg!
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    Same shit I say, one day at a time for life.

    I scared myself into sobriety


    Haven't relapsed since I stopped, over 6 months ago.


    No need to have a life sucking parasite - just because I'm addicted. Fvck that!

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    It's the only way one can look at it w/out freakin out... I remember when I thought to myself(not even one time later in life - thinking we have control over it at this point - furthest thing from the truth!

    One day... Live life to its fullest... Being Happy is tops on my priority list(as I wasn't happy for nearly 8-9 yrs... Though low t has played it's role... But w/out the opiates I sure would be in a much healthier place(hormonal wise)!

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    Since we're on the subject, and it's really the only place I can talk with anyone with a chance of understanding what I'm talking about.

    I feel like iv replaced my other addictions with steroids , gym, food, women, sex as a deviation, they all go hand in hand, now nobody's really getting hurt, I'm having the time of my life.

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    NACH3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MR-FQ320 View Post
    Since we're on the subject, and it's really the only place I can talk with anyone with a chance of understanding what I'm talking about.

    I feel like iv replaced my other addictions with steroids, gym, food, women, sex as a deviation, they all go hand in hand, now nobody's really getting hurt, I'm having the time of my life.
    Edit

    We go through things like these everyday! It's my thought that we get tested to our limits daily, whether it be in the gym, cravings from our past, sex, etc; but God(our higher Power, or whatever you believe in) wouldn't do this if we couldn't handle it!

    I am thankful for each day as its been a long road back(for all of us one way or another)!! And though it messed my life up prior, I wouldn't change a single thing as its made me the person I am today!! Now of course I would take back anything and everything bad I ever did! But that's not reality... But getting the love and trust from your other half, family and friends is priceless!

    Having this thread has brought back memories(good and bad) but its hearing other people's triumph thst is really inspirational as well as motivating! Thx Brothers!

    Best of luck to all!!!
    Last edited by NACH3; 04-15-2015 at 05:37 PM.

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    First thing you did was admit you have a problem, kudos.

    we know you have an addiction to hot women and i think i have this addiction as well.

    glad you are searching for ways to get your self better and seems you will with your attitude! get in the gym and get to banging!
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    I had an addiction to opiates for years as a young man, I had it all and nearly pissed it all away...I did loose my business and $$ but my wife stood by me through it all...I realized I was going to loose everything and quit cold turkey...it was the hardest thing to do in my life but the thought of loosing my family hurt even more so that's what gave me the strength to overcome it...I have been clean of opiates for 11yrs now and to tell the truth I still get cravings for it but the love I feel from my wife and daughter is truly the greatest high that no drug can replace...through it all after all these years she has never thrown it in my face or used it against me, not once...I don't deserve her but I thank god for her everyday...
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    I too can vouch on the addiction subject. I was a piece of shit loser at one point all because of my addiction. At this point I've been clean for over two years and haven't thought about going back to my old ways. The best advice I can give you is to change people, places, and things. I moved out from parents house, got a new group of good friends, and started back hobbies I once enjoyed before dabbling with drugs. Drugs ruined A LOT for me but I'm happy to say everything has gotten back to normal and it is better. I came from a very wealthy family and had no responsibility or consequences, drug use and drinking turned into a habit that spiralled out of control. As weird as this may seem, the thing that kept me clean is this girl telling me that only white trash do drugs. I have no clue to this day why this stuck out for me but it does. It bothers me, I use this anger out in the gym and am the happiest I've ever been. Just remember one is too many and a thousand is never enough. If you need help with something let me know.

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    Ive been lucky and an not easily addicted to substances. That being said, I'm not saying (kidding myself) thinking it's impossible for me to become addicted to something.

    I do have 1st hand experience though with my 1st wife being addicted to substance and substance abuse. They are two different thing even though it's a gray line between the two. It's a hard road to recovery but the 1st step is always realizing there is a problem. I have been there, got caught up with the 1st wife until I felt the pull/need to continue. That was enough for me to realize it was a bad thing. Even though it was brief I still felt the pull for over 1yr.

    It's good to be able to share with others as long as someone does not dwell on the past because I feel it can cause one to have cravings again. I think its good to replace those bad habits with positive good habits and also as said to remove yourself from the crowd or situation.

    Everyone also has bad times even if they are clean so dont let those bad days or bad situations push you back into the mind set to relapse. I'm glad to see there are so many people who have overcome their bad past.

    Best of luck hoggage_54
    Last edited by lovbyts; 04-15-2015 at 05:34 PM.
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    I wish you the best of luck bro.

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    We all have skeletons in our closets, kudos to you for putting it out here, as you can see you have a lot of people willing to support you and count me in as well...anything you need partner i am all ears...you can do it and you will do it, we all believe in you Bro!

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    Thanks for all the responses and the PMs. I work in healthcare so you can be assured that I respect everyone's confidentiality.

    I have always taken pride in my work and with it on the line, it's time I dealt with this. Even though I have been out of it for the 5+ past years, I still have done well for myself professionally. Perhaps I could be higher up in the corporate ladder, but it is impossible to know for sure. I worked my way up from being a warehouse material delivery guy within a hospital to corporate accounting, without even having an accounting designation or a degree.

    I will post updates at where I am.
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    GL brother - A mind is a terrible thing to waste

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    Best of luck to you brother and good for you for getting the help you need!

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    GL Hoggage, the urge to give in to the addiction can be strong.

    I guess the only thing I'm addicted to is gambling. It's that rush you get when you put your money on the line. A lot of people claim it makes them feel sick, but for me, it's pretty exciting.

    Anyways, I usually have it pretty well under control. But sometimes when I'm on cycle holy **** that urge is strong. I'll just feel completely bored with everything in my life and I'll be like "I need to go make a quick 10 grand." Luckily, it passes after an hour or so, but god damn it's worse than a nicotine fit.
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  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong View Post
    GL Hoggage, the urge to give in to the addiction can be strong.

    I guess the only thing I'm addicted to is gambling. It's that rush you get when you put your money on the line. A lot of people claim it makes them feel sick, but for me, it's pretty exciting.

    Anyways, I usually have it pretty well under control. But sometimes when I'm on cycle holy **** that urge is strong. I'll just feel completely bored with everything in my life and I'll be like "I need to go make a quick 10 grand." Luckily, it passes after an hour or so, but god damn it's worse than a nicotine fit.
    Oh yeah gambling does give you a big rush, well as least as long as you are winning but it's that loosing part that keeps me from becoming addicted or playing to often.
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  33. #33
    Euroholic is offline "ARs Pork Eating Crusader"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong View Post
    GL Hoggage, the urge to give in to the addiction can be strong.

    I guess the only thing I'm addicted to is gambling. It's that rush you get when you put your money on the line. A lot of people claim it makes them feel sick, but for me, it's pretty exciting.

    Anyways, I usually have it pretty well under control. But sometimes when I'm on cycle holy **** that urge is strong. I'll just feel completely bored with everything in my life and I'll be like "I need to go make a quick 10 grand." Luckily, it passes after an hour or so, but god damn it's worse than a nicotine fit.
    Oh ya. Mate not much beats that rush of a big win. I don't even care how much i loose that rush of a big win is pure sex!!!!!! Funny you mention nicotine. Gambling makes me wanna fag big time ay
    Last edited by Euroholic; 04-16-2015 at 04:13 AM.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Euroholic View Post
    Oh ya. Mate not much beats that rush of a big win. I don't even care how much i loose that rush of a big win is pure sex!!!!!!
    It's not the rush of the win. The win actually is less of a thrill than the risk of losing. It's like that episode of The Twilight Zone where that gambler dies and gets to gamble for all of eternity. Except he never loses. After he figured it out, it wasn't fun anymore.

    The thrill of gambling has nothing to do with actually winning or losing. When the outcomes occur, the trill is over.

    But yeah, especially on cycle, I get the urge to go throw some money on the table and make some bets real bad. I hear some of the ancilliaries I use might be contributing to that though.
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  35. #35
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    Well as seen as we brought it up, gambling was my vice, I had a lot of triggers, but they all reverted to gambling, I had a compulsive and unsatisfiable urge to gamble, sometimes I hoped I lost just to get rid of all the money I had and could borrow so then I couldn't gamble anymore. Bad times. If anyone needs help with this PM me. I help others abstain at therapy now. I don't want to go back to that misery and pain

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong
    It's like that episode of The Twilight Zone where that gambler dies and gets to gamble for all of eternity.
    He wasn't just a gambler, he was a crook who got shot. Went to hell, where he can never get caught or lose.

    I can recite pretty much every episode of the twilight zone.

    Luckily gambling has never gotten me. But, I def see how it can become addictive as any drug. I seen my friend drop 2 grand in an hour & be broke for months to come.

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> >

    He wasn't just a gambler, he was a crook who got shot. Went to hell, where he can never get caught or lose.

    I can recite pretty much every episode of the twilight zone.

    Luckily gambling has never gotten me. But, I def see how it can become addictive as any drug. I seen my friend drop 2 grand in an hour & be broke for months to come.
    I hate gambling lol

    It's probably because I lose way more than I win so I can't deal with it. If I goto a casino I only gamble with $100. Ill play roulette and one the money is gone I'm done. Losing money brings me down.....
    Failure is not and option..... ONLY beyond failure is - Haz

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  38. #38
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    The gambling addiction comes when you think you can win back your losses, that's when you don't know when to walk away.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Euroholic
    Addictions come down to personality mate. Some people have addictive personalties while others don't Don't turn from a enthusiast to a addict. all in the mind mate.
    agree

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by MR-FQ320 View Post
    The gambling addiction comes when you think you can win back your losses, that's when you don't know when to walk away.
    That's not the addiction though. That's how we justify continuing the addiction. The addiction is the rush you get from putting the money on the line. A real gambling addict doesn't really give a shit if he wins or loses the thrill is the same. Well I shouldn't say they don't care if they lose, losing is the dreaded suck that you're risk experiencing. It's only after it's cost you enough that you start hoping to lose everything just so you can stop the gambling.

    I never went as low as you have in my addiction to gaming, but it's pretty fvcking powerful. And yeah it's every bit as addictive as any illegal drug on the market.
    Last edited by Honkey_Kong; 04-16-2015 at 10:09 PM.

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