Do i have a right to be upset?

Ok fellas, im not one to post these sorta threads. But i feel i need to rant, i ranted to my mum this morning and she agreed with me, anyway, long story short, ive been dating a girl for over 3 years now, with future intentions that will hopefully last forever, anyway, my parents have put in a lot of effort making sure she is invited to family weddings, even when there interstate like 2013 my dad made sure my cousin invited her and alas she came along, anyway my folks are off to asia tomorrow and they planned this asia trip months ago but offered her a spot in coming, she couldnt because of work and whatnot,

anyway the point is she was offered, also my folks are looking at going overseas at the end of the year and have spoke to my girl about that to see if she is interested, So off the top of my head THAT IS 3 THINGS MY FOLKS HAVE MADE SURE SHE HAS BEEN INCLUDED OR EVEN OFFERED. Anyway, yesterday she messaged me saying she is looking at going to indonesia to visit family, i said ok? Anyway that was it, she booked it and is going with her brother and i think sister, not sure. I stayed calm at first, then i politely said to her, didnt you want me to come along? She goes, oh i was just going with my brother. I get on very well with her brother and there is no reason for me not to come along, i feel very hurt and cut about this, especially considering how much effort has gone into making sure she is included overseas and interstate the last 3 years.

I understand she is staying with family, and thats fine, i make enough money to stay in a hotel for a week. I can easily afford it.

Anyway i guess im just upset that i wasnt even invited. Pretty dog move, i dont understand why, and even if she is going with her brother and sister, what difference does it make if im there or not? The important thing is, the invite, and i didnt even get that.


Im pretty ****ing angry, she can stick things up her fuvking arse in future, fuk her.

Don't let her actions effect your life. just go on holiday by your self. And just because your parents offer her things does not mean she has to reciprocate.

Honestly I don't know your situation other than what you just told me but IMO you are being way oversensitive and over-thinking this. Just my initial thoughts.

Might it have something to do with her culture not recognizing your relationship as legitimate, in turn possibly making her family look bad? If she has to explain to people who you are and you two aren't married maybe that would give folks the wrong impression.

I would look at it as free time to party and hang with friends with no chick to answer to for a while, but I have been with my wife for 25 years, guess my thoughts are a bit different, lol.

Honestly, im just Cut because the initial thought of an invitation wasnt there for me after she gets one to all of my family holidays or whatnot,

it was just a big kick in the fking face to tell you the truth.


It honestly just makes me feel as if something is wrong with me? But the worst part of all was after she told me she booked it, she goes oh btw i still have a week or 2 of work leave left if you wanted to go away together just us.


its like lol, i know what your trying to do, cover up the fact you neglected inviting me overseas by telling me we will go on a small holiday together, well im not playing your games, up yours.

Roger you are over thinking this bud.

You know just because you give people gifts and offer them things does not mean they should reciprocate. You do it because you want to not to see what you get in return. And if she is from indo im going to assume she is a muslim maybe her family is traditional.

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Originally Posted by Euroholic

You know just because you give people gifts and offer them things does not mean they should reciprocate. You do it because you want to not to see what you get in return. And if she is from indo im going to assume she is a muslim maybe her family is traditional.

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No she is not muslim lol. she is catholic.

But that means nothing.


But im just confused as to why i wasnt invited? Wouldnt you want your partner to be there??

Different if she told me shes going away with the girls, thats fine, but i dont get this? FFS

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Originally Posted by Roger11

Honestly, im just Cut because the initial thought of an invitation wasnt there for me after she gets one to all of my family holidays or whatnot,

it was just a big kick in the fking face to tell you the truth.


It honestly just makes me feel as if something is wrong with me? But the worst part of all was after she told me she booked it, she goes oh btw i still have a week or 2 of work leave left if you wanted to go away together just us.


its like lol, i know what your trying to do, cover up the fact you neglected inviting me overseas by telling me we will go on a small holiday together, well im not playing your games, up yours.

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OK bro Im going to lay this out for you. If you were a chick I was seeing and you were reacting the way you are if I had done what she did I would RUN from you. Not walk, RUN. You sound like some psycho chicks I have known in the past. Sorry man thats just the vibe Im getting here.

R u willing to throw away 3 years over this one incident?

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Originally Posted by Roger11

Ok fellas, im not one to post these sorta threads. But i feel i need to rant, i ranted to my mum this morning and she agreed with me, anyway, long story short, ive been dating a girl for over 3 years now, with future intentions that will hopefully last forever, anyway, my parents have put in a lot of effort making sure she is invited to family weddings, even when there interstate like 2013 my dad made sure my cousin invited her and alas she came along, anyway my folks are off to asia tomorrow and they planned this asia trip months ago but offered her a spot in coming, she couldnt because of work and whatnot,

anyway the point is she was offered, also my folks are looking at going overseas at the end of the year and have spoke to my girl about that to see if she is interested, So off the top of my head THAT IS 3 THINGS MY FOLKS HAVE MADE SURE SHE HAS BEEN INCLUDED OR EVEN OFFERED. Anyway, yesterday she messaged me saying she is looking at going to indonesia to visit family, i said ok? Anyway that was it, she booked it and is going with her brother and i think sister, not sure. I stayed calm at first, then i politely said to her, didnt you want me to come along? She goes, oh i was just going with my brother. I get on very well with her brother and there is no reason for me not to come along, i feel very hurt and cut about this, especially considering how much effort has gone into making sure she is included overseas and interstate the last 3 years.

I understand she is staying with family, and thats fine, i make enough money to stay in a hotel for a week. I can easily afford it.

Anyway i guess im just upset that i wasnt even invited. Pretty dog move, i dont understand why, and even if she is going with her brother and sister, what difference does it make if im there or not? The important thing is, the invite, and i didnt even get that.


Im pretty ****ing angry, she can stick things up her fuvking arse in future, fuk her.

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I see that maybe you are being selfish or maybe your feelings are justified. I will not pick a side.

But I've always believed that relationships get stronger the further the two people realize how compatible they really are.

Me, for example, have a tendency to get along, romantically-speaking, well with "submissive girls". Girls who like to be independent tend to make me feel useless. I guess it's an old-school thing where I want to be the man in the relationship. Just me.

And the only way to see if you are compatible with her is to be open and to communicate deeper.

If she can accept and understand that you were pissed off, she's probably the right girl for you. If not, it's time to move on.

Fair enough guys, thanks for your input.

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Originally Posted by Roger11

It honestly just makes me feel as if something is wrong with me?

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STOP THAT!

'nuff said.

Simple, just ask her.

Bro listen to Jimmy. DO NOT GO OVERBOARD WITH THIS. If you think shes the one then chill.

btw the one who cares less in a relationship holds all the power. Sucks but there it is.

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Originally Posted by RA

btw the one who cares less in a relationship holds all the power. Sucks but there it is.

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im doing my best not to care.

just annoys me that i wasnt even acknowledged, i would have liked to have gone overseas with her and her brother and sister or whoever the fk she is going with and to meet all her family. would have been nice to get away for a bit of time.

oh well, life goes on, ill play it cool now. and in future, ill back off contact, let her contact me, let her organise things etc. fark it.

My girl (now fiancé) would NEVER leave the country or go on vacation without me. Nor would I to her unless we're talking about a weekend away with the guys.

I'm not saying you should go nuts over this..... There's a reason I'm sure

DAM bro you need a Ai or something? Relax it aint nothing.After being married 20yrs you will buy her and her brother a ticket.

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Originally Posted by songdog

DAM bro you need a Ai or something? Relax it aint nothing.After being married 20yrs you will buy her and her brother a ticket.

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^^^^ lmfao! True

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Originally Posted by Roger11

im doing my best not to care.

just annoys me that i wasnt even acknowledged, i would have liked to have gone overseas with her and her brother and sister or whoever the fk she is going with and to meet all her family. would have been nice to get away for a bit of time.

oh well, life goes on, ill play it cool now. and in future, ill back off contact, let her contact me, let her organise things etc. fark it.

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Again, it's simply figured out by just asking why you were not invited.

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Originally Posted by lovbyts

Again, it's simply figured out by just asking why you were not invited.

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^ this is it op.
Dont act beta, be beta alanine!

Meh. Maybe her family is not like that. I'd just let it go. Everyone is different. But if you keep focusing on what you've done for her, you'll remain frustrated.

It's probably nothing and your letting it rule you. If it bothers you that much and you have been with her for 3yrs I would speak openly about it. It sounds like you guys travel alot so she may think nothing of it. JMO

You're just withdrawing, which is basically lighting the match that will burn the relationship up.

Tell her how you feel, and keep yourself calm about it and focussed on your feelings, and not about what she owes you, etc. - the point of talking is to learn things about each other and to see how you can negotiate things where you feel differently together. You are entitled to your feelings, but she is also entitled to hers. She may well not want you to go - and it may not be for some awful reason - but maybe you won't like to hear what it is. She still is entitled to feel she doesn't want you to come, and maybe if you both talk about your feelings as two people who care a lot about each other (meaning to talk in a productive way, not attacking each other), you can learn things about each other, get any reassurances that you need, and find some way going forward that you both can live with.

I can assure you that if you cannot manage to do this, you will never be in a long term relationship or marriage with someone with whom you have a truly emotionally (and physically) intimate relationship.

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/56263744.jpg

I agree w/Jimmy on this aswell...

I've been in a similar situation w/my ex fiancé(where it was a cultural difference and that was fine) all she did was explain to me why and that was that... If you remain pissed it will surely lead to much further complications! Ask yourself this "are you willing to throw away your relationship b/c of a trip" I know it's more about the principle of just being offered to go, but your best bet is to just communicate this w/her(in a civil manner of course) and don't let your emotions get the best of you going into the talk... Just my .02 Roger!