Yoda’s Off Cycle
For those who you who have ever uttered the words “one……….just one cycle………then that’s it! or “ This is my last cycle for sure”. I tell you, sorry but it won’t work out that way.
My cycle finished in September, I remember the day the hour and the second. The pin hit my delt, the fluid flowed tightly into my shoulder and then as if it was never there it was in the plastic box with all the other used pins, gone but not forgotten. A sadness took over my body, a realisation that the heightened feelings were soon to fade, the plates would not go on so easy and the LBS would not jump on my frame as if they we’re clinging on to me for a better life, to be muscle to be MASS.
The love of the gym could never die, but it was rocky for a time. The gym lacked the same feel, before it was intense kind of dark, it was like I had lost peripheral vision and it been replaced by a dark tunnel. Alias that feeling had now gone and the lights were bright and the distractions many, focus had left me. The body ached, the bones creaked, I had aged somewhere along the line.
Food was a chore, MacDonalds wasn’t, the diet was broken but was the man?
I pass my time thinking, thinking about the needle, how I feared it, now I miss it, the ritual of drawing up, the whole injection process………..ah I miss you Norma and Sus, breaking the Amp, drawing from the vial.
The next cycle is planed, the cash is reserved the pins are ready the syringes sterile, the body is learning to be natural again and just as its settles BANG the D-Bol will be split and again I take upon a physical and mental outfit which is not my own, I’ll enter the gym aggressive and focused the weight will fly and the blood pressure will hit the roof! I’ll be convinced I’m well, I ignore the signs that it just too much I push through it all, for I have a goal which was so out of reach but is now so close it hurts.
So I sit and wait to be alive, I train as before but it could never be so, I can never step back for a drug like any other, addictive and destructive……….but I can handle it, I can control it and prevent it from controlling me……….can’t I?
Can't I
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Originally Posted by Big Al
