Marrying military

[DAAS]

So Im crazy in love with this girl and I want to marry her but she is joining the airforce. She is crazy in love with me too and wants to be married as well.

Here is the problem. Stability is important to me and I know that moving every 4 years is going to very difficult on me. its just who I am, I know me. Not being able to have a career that wont have to change every 4 years or so really bugs me, I want to be as successful as possible and I find this fact to be a huge speed bump. Currently many opportunities are opening up for me in that area and I see myself breaking 100k a year mark within the next two years, but if I move from my current city those opportunities will be gone. Currently making 25k so you can see the problem here

Also I love my current state and although i'm sure some potential places we could be located to would be nice there is also the possibility of being stationed somewhere shitty.

Essentially ive had bad luck making progress in work area which is important to me and now I am finally in a good spot and its going to end if I marry this girl.

I don't know if i can live the military lifestyle but I am absolutely crazy in love with this girl. note I do know there are other fish in the sea and I know I could eventually find another good match, but I want to be with her. Its not a matter of ill never find someone else boo hoo, its more like I don't want to.

I know a marriage takes more than love to last, and I am worried the other factors will bring unhappiness.
Anyone here have to make a similar decision or life in a military relationship? any advise? stories?

[Euroholic]

Dont allow anyone to hold you back mate. Do whatever makes you happy. Only you can make the decision. There is plenty of bitchess out there but theres also plenty of jobs out there.

[redz]

On to the next one.

[DAAS]

On to the next one.

Sorry redz. even if you're right I cant take advice from you on relationships hah

[redz]

Sorry redz. even if you're right I cant take advice from you on relationships hah

lol I can respect that but it is true what Euro said you need to live for you. I almost threw away my life to travel the world and be at the side of a famous singer. It would have been fun in some ways but always her dreams and her life.

[DAAS]

lol I can respect that but it is true what Euro said you need to live for you. I almost threw away my life to travel the world and be at the side of a famous singer. It would have been fun in some ways but always her dreams and her life.

Its true the military is her desire and not mine, but at the same time ive had my fair share of interaction with women and none have come even close to this girl. But again there are more fish in the sea.

ITs such a toss up for me and when it comes to marriage I don't think that should be that way. I also appreciate what I have when I have it and I know that leaving her there are alot of things about her that I may never find again

[DAAS]

Lets put it this way, if she wasnt joining id marry her tomorrow, but she is and i really dont think id do well even if i tried hard. but who knows

[djgreen]

I agree with these guys you gotta live your life not someone elses moving with her is one thing but living the military life is another they will own her ass and you will come second or mabe even third or fourth

[Euroholic]

Im reading it that your concern is finding a "career" just work hard and think business minded mate and you will be able to make money anywhere.

[tarmyg]

Love, while one of the most important aspects is only one part of a relationship. If you give up, what you perceive as a dream, there is simply no way that you will be happy. Fights about why you need to move all the time, blaming will start to happen and it will all start falling apart.

When I got married I knew and was willing to give up what I knew was coming. My wife is a hard core scientist and I knew we had to move for her career. I have had no problem with that as we have been doing that for 15+ years now. We are now in a stable place with no move for the next 10+ years which makes me happy but if I had to move tomorrow, I would simply adjust. Just who I am. Since you seem to be the opposite, there is no way you will accept constant moves and you will be miserable.

Just my 2c.

[ppwc1985]

Just my opinion also, I waited along time to get married because I just didn't feel like any of them was the one. You will know beyond the shadow of a doubt if you find that one, because no matter what, where or when you would sacrifice anything for that person. Just you asking this ? Tells me she is not that one for you or you would have no doubts. I feel for you man, just don't do anything that you have doubts about otherwise you will end up like 80% of the marriages out there. Another thing to consider is being married to a soldier is not the easiest thing and that includes AF. Divorce rates in the military are ever higher. Good luck in your decision.

[Mountainman360]

I've been in the army for 6 years, married for 4 of them. When joining the military, you have to make sacrifices. That's just part of the job. A BIG part. My wife moved half way across the country to live with me, all by ourselves and unsure about what the future would bring. But we were together, and we were happy. That's all that mattered. Now, 6 years and 2 deployments later, I made the decision to get out so she can follow her dreams as well. She is now the gm at a large chain of gyms and we're both living the dream. If you can't make sacrifices, than a military marriage isn't for you, simple as that. You're going to have to make sacrifices every day as a military spouse, it just comes with the territory. If you're debating it, than save yourself the heart ache and just leave her now. Sounds harsh but you gotta be strong to make a marriage work when 1 is in the military. Think long and hard about your decision, do some research. There's a ton of sources out there for military spouses. Use google. Military one source is a good one, you can even anonymously call and ask for advice. But maybe consider doing what I did, let her have her dreams than you can chase yours. Marriage+military is all about sacrifices my friend. Good luck and I hope you make the right decision. Do what your heart tells you to do and don't jump into anything cause you're feeling that puppy love. Think long and hard.

[Euroholic]

Just my opinion also, I waited along time to get married because I just didn't feel like any of them was the one. You will know beyond the shadow of a doubt if you find that one, because no matter what, where or when you would sacrifice anything for that person. Just you asking this ? Tells me she is not that one for you or you would have no doubts. I feel for you man, just don't do anything that you have doubts about otherwise you will end up like 80% of the marriages out there. Another thing to consider is being married to a soldier is not the easiest thing and that includes AF. Divorce rates in the military are ever higher. Good luck in your decision.

Yup!! I think its army,police and fifo workers have the highest divorce rates.

[lovbyts]

If it's meant to work then it will work. You might have more opportunities where you go. Dont be afraid of change, especially if things are not really working out the way you had hopped it would where you are now.

Love is a great motivator.

[Sfla80]

If it's meant to work then it will work. You might have more opportunities where you go. Dont be afraid of change, especially if things are not really working out the way you had hopped it would where you are now.

Love is a great motivator.

This...

[energizer bunny]

Go your own way mate, dont make a decision that can affect your future on love. If she loved you so much, why isnt she considering not joining the Airforce? even for a few years until you are earning well.

[Bonaparte]

She's already decided to be a career officer? Who is to say she won't be done after a few years?

[itsmybody]

Here's a woman's perspective....but it's an opinion and other women may not agree.

1. First find out exactly what her long term goals are with the military.
2. Will her goals help you both or only her?
3. Would she make the same sacrifice for you?
4. Keep in mind long term goals can change, especially since she is female and children may enter the picture.
5. Go with your gut.
6. If you really want to marry her understand at some point something may happen and you may have to fully support the household. Is your profession one that will allow this in all geographic locations?
7. Sacrificing your own goals typically results in a feeling of 'what if'. Is that something you can live with if things don't work out or will you have resentment problems.
I'm not saying things won't work for you two, they might...nothing in life is guaranteed.
Disclaimer...I'm not a romantic, much more of a realist.
Good Luck!

[Euroholic]

Fleetwood mac you can go your own way

[DAAS]

thanks for all the insight. Over all there is no way I can leave her I am too in love and I need to make a mind shift and think of all the good possibilities that can come from this. I am strong minded and I can adapt. It might not be fun all the time but life can go in any direction no matter what. I need to think differently is all. Mind over matter.

[Euroholic]

thanks for all the insight. Over all there is no way I can leave her I am too in love and I need to make a mind shift and think of all the good possibilities that can come from this. I am strong minded and I can adapt. It might not be fun all the time but life can go in any direction no matter what. I need to think differently is all. Mind over matter.

thanks for all the insight. Over all there is no way I can leave her I am too in love and I need to make a mind shift and think of all the good possibilities that can come from this. I am strong minded and I can adapt. It might not be fun all the time but life can go in any direction no matter what. I need to think differently is all. Mind over matter.

I like the cut of your jib bull arab you just got to get out there and "do" and the rest will follow. Im a very business minded person. You could drop me in the kalahari dessert with 1 united states of american dollar and i will find a way to turn that into 100.

[ppwc1985]

thanks for all the insight. Over all there is no way I can leave her I am too in love and I need to make a mind shift and think of all the good possibilities that can come from this. I am strong minded and I can adapt. It might not be fun all the time but life can go in any direction no matter what. I need to think differently is all. Mind over matter.

Look at the positives to, one being you will get to see the world with your wife and the AF will foot the bill.

[Euroholic]

I never saw it with my own eyes but when i was in the army a lot of the older blokes like late vietnam war era and a bit after told me they saw airforce personnel sitting around on base eating lobsters and drinking. Sounds like a good job if you ask me if its true.