Marriage in the 21st century

**davidtheman100** · 10-13-2015, 08:41 AM

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**lovbyts** · 10-13-2015, 09:33 AM

I keep saying it's cheaper to become a widower than divorce.

**fxrjuiceman** · 10-13-2015, 10:21 AM

Comedy

**RigPig** · 10-13-2015, 05:26 PM

I don't know how it goes where all of you are from but everyone around my area seems to be married and divorced by the time they are 30, at least the majority. I feel like everyone is getting married for the f**k of it, either cause they have kids or because they are trying to fix something that was nerve meant to be. Then instead of putting in the work they just call it quits after a few years and move on The wife and I have been together for 14 years married for 9 of those and still going strong (with a few bumps along the way). We are in our early 30s. But 99% of our friends are already married and divorced. It's f**kin sad when you think about it.

**davidtheman100** · 10-13-2015, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by RigPig

I don't know how it goes where all of you are from but everyone around my area seems to be married and divorced by the time they are 30, at least the majority. I feel like everyone is getting married for the f**k of it, either cause they have kids or because they are trying to fix something that was nerve meant to be. Then instead of putting in the work they just call it quits after a few years and move on The wife and I have been together for 14 years married for 9 of those and still going strong (with a few bumps along the way). We are in our early 30s. But 99% of our friends are already married and divorced. It's f**kin sad when you think about it.

People don't know what it means to get married these days

**calgarian** · 10-14-2015, 05:41 AM

"till death do us apart" dont have the same meaning anymore

**Brett N** · 10-14-2015, 05:12 PM

People today make the same bad choices they did 100 years ago the only difference is divorce is a very accepted answer to sometimes simple problems

I've been married 18 years and we have sex as much as we did when we were dating. We talk about everything and share fantasies. Some we have even acted out.

Tolerance, adventure, and a lot in common.

There is nobody in the world that I would rather whisk away for a sex filled weekend. I hope everyone gets a chance to experience a great partner like the one that I have been fortunate enough to find. I say partner because I believe that everyone should have a chance to be happy.

**73rr** · 10-14-2015, 05:30 PM

I'm 25 years old and I can agree with this. To tell u the truth most my friends that are guys don't even want to get married because they feel that the women is just going to run and get a divorce ones it's no fun anymore.

And the ladies I now, are so nerves to get married because theyes think ever guy starts cheating. It'd a f***ed up world we live in

**numbere** · 10-14-2015, 07:09 PM

The reason the divorce rate is so high in are culture stems from the wide spread belief that love is owed to everyone and is expected at all times.

The theory that you should get married and only have one sexual partner is only a few hundred years old.

For most of human existence it was more popular to have a wife, a mistress, and someone with whom you were in love.

**bloodchoke** · 10-14-2015, 07:46 PM

Comparing values from different eras is very difficult. It's like comparing athletes from different eras.
It's easy to forget that marriage was nearly a necessity for women before WW2 since so few women could work. I believe that, as the pay-gap between men and women approaches zero, the sanctity of marriage, for the most part, will follow. I, personally, don't judge it as good or bad, right or wrong. Ideas evolve for some much more rapidly than for others. Standards of living, by nearly every reasonable metric, continue to improve. And yet there is always a somewhat popular notion that "the World is going to Hell in a hand-basket." But it never does. I believe that we simply outgrow that which we no longer need.

**Brett N** · 10-15-2015, 05:32 AM

Evolve or devolve. Guess it all depends on how you look at it.

I think recent history shows that all the divorce, unwed mothers, deadbeat dads and all the other products of today's society is not improving society to say the least.

Not all single parents are bad, I just can never imagine the best single parent being as good as 2 average to above average married parents.

**Hazard** · 10-15-2015, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by Brett N

Evolve or devolve. Guess it all depends on how you look at it. I think recent history shows that all the divorce, unwed mothers, deadbeat dads and all the other products of today's society is not improving society to say the least. Not all single parents are bad, I just can never imagine the best single parent being as good as 2 average to above average married parents.

I would rather a child be with one parent than a set of married parents in which one of them abuses drugs or alcohol. A single parent can do damned good job at raising a child.... I did it with mine..... And as a father. I'm now engaged and have since had another child so I guess the household is "complete" again but it's far better to remove the negatives for the child than it is to keep them just so they have both parents.

**bloodchoke** · 10-15-2015, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Brett N

I think recent history shows that all the divorce, unwed mothers, deadbeat dads and all the other products of today's society is not improving society to say the least.

I don't know that I agree about the "unwed" part, but I'll certainly give you that, since women typically earn less than men, a single mother with no support of from a father is at a disadvantage, financially (at least) speaking. When you factor in that minority women typically earn less than white women, the disadvantage for minority communities becomes even greater. I'm not trying to start a semantics war, or anything, I just don't see the value of being a "married couple" vs being an unmarried, actively involved set of parents.

I mostly find it interesting that we humans seem to look for a steady-state for society operate in when, really, we're always in some state of ebb and flow. Just like there are times when it's appropriate to tax the wealthy; there are times that it is appropriate to tax the middle class. There are times to think in the macro and there are times to think in the micro. IMO, we all get in a huff over this stuff because there are SEVEN BILLION of us bumping around out of sync and who's right and who's wrong depends completely on which of the seven billion perspectives you're taking; which means that no one and everyone is both right and wrong.

^^(I can't tell if I sound pretentious or sound like a stoner..)

**bloodchoke** · 10-15-2015, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

I would rather a child be with one parent than a set of married parents in which one of them abuses drugs or alcohol. A single parent can do damned good job at raising a child.... I did it with mine..... And as a father. I'm now engaged and have since had another child so I guess the household is "complete" again but it's far better to remove the negatives for the child than it is to keep them just so they have both parents.

Props to you. Straight-up.

**Hazard** · 10-15-2015, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by bloodchoke

Props to you. Straight-up.

you do what you have to do as a parent. A lot of people give me respect for raising a little girl from 2 weeks old to almost 4 years old now but I don't see it that way. It was hard.... But she is my responsibility. She's MY daughter..... No one else's. It was up to me to take care of her. I just did what any good father would have done.

**Brett N** · 10-15-2015, 04:06 PM

2 active parents that aren't we'd but agree on the way the child is raised and are both active about it is not a whole lot different than what I consider a good married couple.

But, if the couple lived together it is no different than being married. If they live apart, I still feel the child is at a disadvantage.

Not saying you have to agree with me, that's my opinion. I have no data to back up my thoughts. And I'm not going to debate an opinion. I don't believe the world is in a better place today than when I was a child.

Kids need stability and consistency. Most single parents do not offer that equally to a couple that is together. Not all, just most.

**bloodchoke** · 10-15-2015, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by Brett N

2 active parents that aren't we'd but agree on the way the child is raised and are both active about it is not a whole lot different than what I consider a good married couple.

But, if the couple lived together it is no different than being married. If they live apart, I still feel the child is at a disadvantage.

Not saying you have to agree with me, that's my opinion. I have no data to back up my thoughts. And I'm not going to debate an opinion. I don't believe the world is in a better place today than when I was a child.

Kids need stability and consistency. Most single parents do not offer that equally to a couple that is together. Not all, just most.

For sure, man. Everything you've expressed is fair.
I only argue with 1) outlandish claims, 2) know-it-all bullies.

For the record, I didn't say the world is a better place. That's too subjective to measure. What I said was that standards of living have improved. That's quantifiable and verifiable. I suspect that you and I see eye-to-eye on this and are picking at details.

**Euroholic** · 10-15-2015, 06:58 PM

I mostly raised my self with a bit of help from my grandparents my parents where not around much. i think it is better to learn lessons your self because it allows you to not become weak by emotions. Lately i have been helping my sister raise her son. I hated it at first because she is raising him queerly he does not even play rugby or cricket but I'm starting to like it now i look at him and see "aspirations" its kind of cool i don't no how to describe it its a weird feeling but i like being around him it makes me feel like i need to act responsible.