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Originally Posted by
InsaneMuscle
Past 2-3 weeks been been feeling semi depressed, anxious, demotivated and low in attitude toward anything meaningful or enjoyable in life, pissed off easily and just real short fused... yet am very aware of it all and I am containing it like having it behind closed doors not letting it get in the way of my daily routine, but I know it's there and just filling up the space behidlnd these closed doors day by day, it sure sets non-positive/non-productive vibes in my exterior presense... still life feels like walking edge of a razor blade, invisible to others but almost frightening to myself feeling. I use to not be able to maintain such stance regards it earlier in my life, its odd, as I can do now almost so effortlessly, as of lately. If I used to get in to situation just like it before I used to burst out quickly, express myself naturally with whatever would be bothering me, would be too much in somebody's face if it was part of the cause... but since I started my trt, it feels like I have gained some extra heavy-duty capacity for maintenance and dampening of things like this...weird. I'm thinking my ways in and around how to patch this "glitch in my matrix" ... I was experimenting somewhat with armodafinil lately and I observed it does make me a happy folk in general if I took a pill in the morning. Not in a way happy as high, but very easily able to recognize and value smallest joys of everyday things,set smile in my face and crack some laugh. But while off of it, I still feel good inside but something similar like physical restrictions guard me from expressing it... lack of empathy...thus concentration and cognitive suffers too. Take one pill another day again, boom, like new person... need to get deeper in racetam stuff and such