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Thread: Started going out with a girl. Please help.

  1. #1
    aesthetics_sexy is offline Junior Member
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    Started going out with a girl. Please help.

    Hello everyone, I will explain everything in bullet points so that I give you precise points without making this too long to read.

    -Met a girl on tinder. On an average 1 text each day. This went on for 2 months as she was abroad on holidays so couldn’t plan a meet up.
    -She comes back in town. I ask her out for drinks. She says she wants to take things slowly and that she will meet me in college for coffee.
    -Accidently bumped into each other in the gym . Had a brief conversation with her. Later she messages it was nice to see you at the gym today :slight_smile:
    -Finally we meet in the college for coffee . Date went on for 2 hours. Before leaving she asks when will we meet again.
    -I ask her over text whats the next plan gonna be. She sets up a date for drinks in a bar at 9pm. Date goes well. I invite her to come over to my place for dinner she says maybe next time. We leave from the bar and her mother is there to pick her up. (She is just 19 , i am 24)
    -Next date is going to be a movie date.

    IMPORTANT POINTS - - - She says she has come out of a long term relationship that’s why she wants to take things slowly. She doesnt flirt at all. She never initiates a conversation but always replies when I text her. I really like this girl . She is a decent girl who is focussed on studies and i know for sure she doesnt sleep around or did in past which makes me want to be in a serious relationship with her and thinking long term. SO GUYS TELL ME WHATS THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT IN THIS SITUATION? Should I initiate hand holding in the cinema and then may be a kiss ? Should i ask her where this is going what exactly she wants and express what I feel about her ?? PLEASE HELP GUYS. Thanks .

  2. #2
    Hoggage_54's Avatar
    Hoggage_54 is offline Suspended or Banned either way gone!
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    We can't help unless you post pics of her and provide us with her stats (height, weight, bust, waist, hips, bf%). If you're unsure on her stats, the pics should be enough for us to help.
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  3. #3
    Obs's Avatar
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    Successful man rule #1
    Get comfortable being outside your comfort zone.

    The less you throw yourself at her the more she will want you. Wing it all. There is no recipe but every married guy can tell you women flock towards a confident man that truly does not give off insecure vibes.

    Overthinking it will fuck you and you are already overthinking it. Be yourself, lead the way, take initiative, make the decisions were you will go and have a backupin case she cant go to a particular place.

    Also, at 19 this girls only long term relationship is with horsies and her parents. Shit, see if they have a my little pony video in theatres and take her there. It just dawned on me she could be my daughter. Keep your fucking hands to yourself!! Bring her back by 10!
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  4. #4
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    And check her damn id. If she says she is 19 online then that means she is like 7 in real life.

  5. #5
    Sh0tsf1red is offline Member
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    Dont be scared, it's just a girl. You're 24, you should have seen a few by this point.

    Stop overthinking and just be yourself. If she doesn't like that then tough loss for her.

    You're only 24 and she us only 19, you both have so much more "living" ahead of you that I wouldn't get caught up over this.

    Also, you met on an app that's core market is casual sex encounters? And you say she doesn't flirt?...
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  6. #6
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    Ok I have been told by a few that I am old and out of date so let me try and get this straight (please correct me if i am wrong.)

    Isn't tinder for casual hook ups and getting a stray piece of ass?
    I find it hard to believe that she is coming out of a long term relationship and looking on tinder for a date but wants to take it slow.
    You are 24 years old and wondering if you should hold her hand or go for a kiss?
    If you are serious I will give you credit you are a true gentleman.
    Like the OBS said be very confident, walk in the the room like a f*cking tiger and not a puppy and things will work out.

    If things work out you should be giving her the "O" face in less than 3 dates if not throw her back and keep hunting.

  7. #7
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    At 19 yrs old I don't think she knows wat she really wants yet but the next time you ask her out for dinner make it at a resturant this way she won't think you are up too something.

  8. #8
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    I'm old(ish), so WTF do I know... but you don't really get to decide when to kiss her, she does. Create a situation where she wants to kiss you. And Songdog is right, take her out where she (and her parents) feel comfortable.

    (yea, I'm a parent
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by aesthetics_sexy View Post
    Hello everyone, I will explain everything in bullet points so that I give you precise points without making this too long to read.

    -Met a girl on tinder. On an average 1 text each day. This went on for 2 months as she was abroad on holidays so couldn’t plan a meet up.
    -She comes back in town. I ask her out for drinks. She says she wants to take things slowly and that she will meet me in college for coffee.
    -Accidently bumped into each other in the gym . Had a brief conversation with her. Later she messages it was nice to see you at the gym today :slight_smile:
    -Finally we meet in the college for coffee . Date went on for 2 hours. Before leaving she asks when will we meet again.
    -I ask her over text whats the next plan gonna be. She sets up a date for drinks in a bar at 9pm. Date goes well. I invite her to come over to my place for dinner she says maybe next time. We leave from the bar and her mother is there to pick her up. (She is just 19 , i am 24)
    -Next date is going to be a movie date.

    IMPORTANT POINTS - - - She says she has come out of a long term relationship that’s why she wants to take things slowly. She doesnt flirt at all. She never initiates a conversation but always replies when I text her. I really like this girl . She is a decent girl who is focussed on studies and i know for sure she doesnt sleep around or did in past which makes me want to be in a serious relationship with her and thinking long term. SO GUYS TELL ME WHATS THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT IN THIS SITUATION? Should I initiate hand holding in the cinema and then may be a kiss ? Should i ask her where this is going what exactly she wants and express what I feel about her ?? PLEASE HELP GUYS. Thanks .


    Don't let that happen again. Don't put it all on her. Surprised none of you caught that. She needs you to be the man with the ideas even if she already has one and when she does go with it. Don't worry about movie theater dates until you're really together. You need to get to know her and feel for what she's trying to do. Like the other guy said, don't over think it.
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  10. #10
    spywizard's Avatar
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    You should have said.. Hey, I'm off to the gym at 8am, would you like to join me there.. or, I'm going to the movies to see xyz... 7pm if you are free.. be you, she's along for the ride, not a husband.. if not her, it will be someone else..

    women are much like men, they want what they can't have..
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by spywizard View Post
    You should have said.. Hey, I'm off to the gym at 8am, would you like to join me there.. or, I'm going to the movies to see xyz... 7pm if you are free.. be you, she's along for the ride, not a husband.. if not her, it will be someone else..

    women are much like men, they want what they can't have..
    Spy? Is that really you?!?
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  12. #12
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    Indeed.... ya'll thought I was dead right??

    surgery on my spine, bilateral disc replacement... pec, and bi tear.. it's been a long road..
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by spywizard View Post
    Indeed.... ya'll thought I was dead right??

    surgery on my spine, bilateral disc replacement... pec, and bi tear.. it's been a long road..
    Sorry to hear all that man, how’s your recovery coming along.
    “If you can't explain it to a second grader, you probably don't understand it yourself.” Albert Einstein

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  14. #14
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    Did you ask her if she does anal yet? That might give you your answer
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  15. #15
    Sh0tsf1red is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaginCajun View Post
    Did you ask her if she does anal yet? That might give you your answer
    Why even ask? Just go in dry, if she doesn't push back then you found your wife

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0tsf1red View Post
    Why even ask? Just go in dry, if she doesn't push back then you found your wife
    wouldn't it be better if she did push back, yelling, i don't like it... stop... you know push back as in trying to make it so you go deeper... then when you are done and she's in the bathroom cleaning up, you wipe your junk off in her curtains, and take $40 from her bag and leave..

    Now that sounds like a good night..
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  17. #17
    spywizard's Avatar
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    Lucky for me it's all workers comp, so they have been taking care of me the last 2 yrs... however legs only mostly.. will be starting a routine of 400 t 50mg var 2iu hg x2 per day for 6 months..

    var only 8weeks on/off

    Quote Originally Posted by MuscleScience View Post
    Sorry to hear all that man, how’s your recovery coming along.
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by spywizard View Post
    Lucky for me it's all workers comp, so they have been taking care of me the last 2 yrs... however legs only mostly.. will be starting a routine of 400 t 50mg var 2iu hg x2 per day for 6 months..

    var only 8weeks on/off
    Did you have a crush injury or something? My last workplace we had a guy in on WC that had a 1000lb steel beam fall on and crush him. Busted both is legs, crushed some ribs and blew out some vertebra. Bad deal.
    “If you can't explain it to a second grader, you probably don't understand it yourself.” Albert Einstein

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  19. #19
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    Obs always gives a decent advice , listen to him lol.

    What i noticed works for me:

    I go out , confident , dance and chill , hang with my buddies , girl notices me , starts moving towards me , i still act like nothin is happening , no attention for her , then she really moves close and grinds , and then i start the interaction , grab her and dance some , no finisher? Alright , i just gently push her away a bit , turn around and leave her like that , back to dancin solo and talking with buddies , and then she throws herself even more lol, by the end of the night she goes mad and u usually get what u want

    Never give some1 more attention than they deserve , and usually when i start out with "that kind" of people , i give them the bare minimum needed to start the wheel, if she proves worthy then she can get more, i had way too many attention whores/cheaters/sluts up my neck this year, but oh well it's all an experience , just be sure to learn from it

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myers View Post
    Obs always gives a decent advice , listen to him lol.

    What i noticed works for me:

    I go out , confident , dance and chill , hang with my buddies , girl notices me , starts moving towards me , i still act like nothin is happening , no attention for her , then she really moves close and grinds , and then i start the interaction , grab her and dance some , no finisher? Alright , i just gently push her away a bit , turn around and leave her like that , back to dancin solo and talking with buddies , and then she throws herself even more lol, by the end of the night she goes mad and u usually get what u want

    Never give some1 more attention than they deserve , and usually when i start out with "that kind" of people , i give them the bare minimum needed to start the wheel, if she proves worthy then she can get more, i had way too many attention whores/cheaters/sluts up my neck this year, but oh well it's all an experience , just be sure to learn from it
    Well, thank you.
    The last time I was hunting I sat at a bar quietly and when a girl seemed to young (immature) and sat down by me I moved away. Worked great, the bartender gave me her number. She turned out to be a one in a million hard ass worker with her shit together and a mild temperment. She watched a million guys come and go but gave only me her number. She had a good eye...

    I tip my hat to you guys, I wouldn't make it on the dating scene today. I get tired of sorting through little girls with no direction and thats about 99% of the people today.
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  21. #21
    Sh0tsf1red is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by spywizard View Post
    wouldn't it be better if she did push back, yelling, i don't like it... stop... you know push back as in trying to make it so you go deeper... then when you are done and she's in the bathroom cleaning up, you wipe your junk off in her curtains, and take $40 from her bag and leave..

    Now that sounds like a good night..
    No, that sounds like a GREAT night
    MuscleScience likes this.

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