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    Ttfors is offline New Member
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    Bad Breakup

    Iím a young guy 19. Been on and off with this girl for 4 years. Deeply in love everything was fine but lies started to come out from her. Big or little lots of lies. I felt betrayed and reached out fucked other girls but she still stayed around. Thing got worse and worse with accusing and lies and overthinking from both sides but we always come back to eachother. I wanted to marry her atleast I thought. I went on a trip for a week she left me voicemails saying she couldnít wait till I got home how much she loved me. When I get home? Sheís done. Tells me not to contact her. Iím broken I have no motivation I donít wanna do shit with myself. Any advice?

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    Your young, thank the heavens you got out now before it got too deep, like kids, argument leading to cops coming, because if the cops come, fir a DV call. Even if the neighbors call, they now have 100% right to search your home, and also, protocol says someone is leaving in cuffs.

    Even if you are both chill when they get there, they will leave with some one.
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    I could sit here and say that sounds toxic....that you are better off without her... But it's not going to change how you feel. My one piece of advice is to use the thought of making her miss you and want you to get you to do things in the beginning. There is no quick fix and it's going to take a lot of time.

    I had a breakup in April that's still hurting and will for years to come. But you have to grit your teeth and get on with it.. Even if you don't want to.

    A piece of advice for us both in the future... Don't put pussy on a pedestal.
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    My son is going through his first breakup right now. It's rough! My advice: try not to ruminate or mill over what coulda/shoulda been. Trust it gets better. Focus on goals for yourself, improving yourself or your future. Know there will be many more women and more heartbreak in your life, and use that knowledge to put this in perspective.
    Best wishes!
    Last edited by PeanutbutterDC; 09-02-2018 at 03:21 PM. Reason: Stupid autocorrect

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    Ttfors is offline New Member
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    Thank you for the advice. I know it will build me in to a better person. Just in the meantime I’m mentally fucking myself from overthinking and worrying.
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    Couchlockd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ttfors View Post
    Thank you for the advice. I know it will build me in to a better person. Just in the meantime I’m mentally fucking myself from overthinking and worrying.
    You on gear? Break ups suck on gear. Especially during PCT
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    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Sleep with as many different girls as possible, eventually you will find one you like better
    Young people always think they found "the one." When you get older, you will realize you will meet a few "the one"s in your lifetime.
    You will get down on yourself, and think you will never find another girl that put up with your weird quirks and one you will love as much and blah blah blah
    Theres always another
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    McGregor is offline Associate Member
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    Up the dose and find a new girl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ttfors View Post
    Thank you for the advice. I know it will build me in to a better person. Just in the meantime I’m mentally fucking myself from overthinking and worrying.
    I know! Been there! It gets easier

  10. #10
    Test Monsterone's Avatar
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    You're 19 doggy. You'll get over it eventually. Breakups get easier - the first one is the worst. Believe me, we've all been through it. I tortured myself for almost 2 years for one girl. The best cure is time and finding another girl - not just a fling. A fling won't do shit. You need something deeper than that brother.

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    McGregor is offline Associate Member
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    You need to find a lot of girls bro and stop the PCT.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ttfors View Post
    I’m a young guy 19. Been on and off with this girl for 4 years. Deeply in love everything was fine but lies started to come out from her. Big or little lots of lies. I felt betrayed and reached out fucked other girls but she still stayed around. Thing got worse and worse with accusing and lies and overthinking from both sides but we always come back to eachother. I wanted to marry her atleast I thought. I went on a trip for a week she left me voicemails saying she couldn’t wait till I got home how much she loved me. When I get home? She’s done. Tells me not to contact her. I’m broken I have no motivation I don’t wanna do shit with myself. Any advice?
    Just because times change and social norms change, that doesn't mean our characters as human being changes over time. Trust, fidelity, friendship, loyalty are not just character traits written in books. These are real and will build within you character traits that will strengthen you from within. Don't go crazy and sleep with every woman you see. Transactional sex or "hook ups" is meaning less and will leave you feeling even more empty.

    You asked for advice so this is my advice. Go and clean your room and keep it clean. You can't control what's happened to you with your girlfriend leaving you but you can control something. Start small. Clean you room and control just that portion of your life. The simple act of cleaning your room will give you responsibility. It is stepping up to responsibility that builds character. When you clean your room, you want to keep clean clothes in your room so do your laundry. You don't want to put clean clothes on a dirty body so make sure your personal hygiene is up to snuff. Work on one aspect of your life at a time and build your character as a man. I don't mean a man that's able to bed 10 women in 1 night. I mean a man that gives his word and keeps it, a man who protects those that are unable to protect themselves, I could go on but this is not the forum. In other words, take on responsibility and complete them. There is NO quick fix. Healing takes time. You have the power within you to become a great man. Keep moving forward. Hey, I'm an old fart and believe responsibility builds men (and women). My .02

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    Ttfors is offline New Member
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    I’ve been off since May. Just started another cycle yesterday

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    Ttfors is offline New Member
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    Yes motivation videos and keeping my mind off things is helping. Just trying to stay busy step back and reevaluate everything.

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    Shit, it just gets worse when you're older

    Try to take it easy - it's what I tell myself, at least


    But, yes - more pvssy will help the situation

  16. #16
    XnavyHMCS is offline Associate Member
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    "Time heals all wounds, so let it."

    Must be some real truth in this proverb...

    Lots of GREAT advice here, young man (I ill turn 53 in 24 days...), so listen to it.

    The only problem that I found with the advice, when I was in the same situation; it only orks for a short time, then you get back into your own head.

    Give it time, and stay strong and focused.

    In a month, there will be way less pain, and in 2 months you will flash and think, "Fuck, I haven't thought about that chick in moore than a week."

    We've all been there brother...

    Best of luck to you!!!

  17. #17
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    You're young and fit..in control of your own destiny...look in the mirror..her loss dude..theres another chick right around the corner...youre a king..you never bow down you just move on



    Sent from my SM-S327VL using Tapatalk

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScotchGuard02 View Post
    Just because times change and social norms change, that doesn't mean our characters as human being changes over time. Trust, fidelity, friendship, loyalty are not just character traits written in books. These are real and will build within you character traits that will strengthen you from within. Don't go crazy and sleep with every woman you see. Transactional sex or "hook ups" is meaning less and will leave you feeling even more empty.

    You asked for advice so this is my advice. Go and clean your room and keep it clean. You can't control what's happened to you with your girlfriend leaving you but you can control something. Start small. Clean you room and control just that portion of your life. The simple act of cleaning your room will give you responsibility. It is stepping up to responsibility that builds character. When you clean your room, you want to keep clean clothes in your room so do your laundry. You don't want to put clean clothes on a dirty body so make sure your personal hygiene is up to snuff. Work on one aspect of your life at a time and build your character as a man. I don't mean a man that's able to bed 10 women in 1 night. I mean a man that gives his word and keeps it, a man who protects those that are unable to protect themselves, I could go on but this is not the forum. In other words, take on responsibility and complete them. There is NO quick fix. Healing takes time. You have the power within you to become a great man. Keep moving forward. Hey, I'm an old fart and believe responsibility builds men (and women). My .02
    There's a shit-ton of wisdom in here, I hope you're listening.

    Best of luck,
    C-

  19. #19
    ssmitty2015 is offline New Member
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    Im 22, I had my first major breakup at 19 also.
    Heres my advice for ya buddy.

    Let life take its path, it sucks, its painful, youll be down, youll always care for the person and want the best for them because of the impact they had on your life. But you two are at major parts of your lives where things can separate, like college or work. Live your life, I was confused on what to do too when I had my breakup, it was awful.

    But live life, you very well might find your true self and fall in love with something you had no idea about, i did.

  20. #20
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    Dude
    I was married at 20 had 2 kids by 23 and divorced at
    25. I was happy to see her go but it ripped me apart doing that to the kids.
    I remarried at 30 to one the best thing's that ever happened to me and the kids.

    Be thankful it happened now and not 5 years into a marriage.

    Go get ripped at the gym and find a new hottie that will help heal the wound.

  21. #21
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    We must b bored, answering to this in the Q&a


    Oh well,


    But, seriously - chalk it up as a win. . . There's a big world out there & I guarantee you will find something else(the didn't say better, how would I know)


    Shit - my 1st wife leaving was the best thing ever - even though it felt like the worst at the time. . . Shit, a decade later & she's still around - who would of thought at the time

    Life's been good to me - even with the weird ugly shit I am handed at times
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  22. #22
    Ttfors is offline New Member
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    I appreciate you all. Sorry this wasn’t a “cycle” question just didn’t know what else to do. I appreciate all the advice

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ttfors View Post
    I appreciate you all. Sorry this wasn’t a “cycle” question just didn’t know what else to do. I appreciate all the advice
    Don't apologise, it's fine. Hope you're doing OK

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ttfors View Post
    I’m a young guy 19. Been on and off with this girl for 4 years. Deeply in love everything was fine but lies started to come out from her. Big or little lots of lies. I felt betrayed and reached out fucked other girls but she still stayed around. Thing got worse and worse with accusing and lies and overthinking from both sides but we always come back to eachother. I wanted to marry her atleast I thought. I went on a trip for a week she left me voicemails saying she couldn’t wait till I got home how much she loved me. When I get home? She’s done. Tells me not to contact her. I’m broken I have no motivation I don’t wanna do shit with myself. Any advice?
    At 19 you have your whole life ahead of you. It may be tough, but suck it up and move on. Don't let this situation break you down and ruin you. Time heals all wounds, you will make it through this.
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  25. #25
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    Been down the same road as you man.... most of us have. There’s some great advice here and I know it won’t take the pain away or the constant mind f*ck you deal with going back and forth with your thoughts but it will make you a better, stronger person.

    What helped me the most was staying busy. Go do things, reconnect with old friends, make new ones, and even spend more time with your family.

    Think of your feelings as a muscle... we tear our muscles apart in the gym, they heal, and grow back bigger and stronger. Well your heart/feelings have just been hurt but they will heal and you’ll be much stronger for it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ttfors View Post
    I’m a young guy 19. Been on and off with this girl for 4 years. Deeply in love everything was fine but lies started to come out from her. Big or little lots of lies. I felt betrayed and reached out fucked other girls but she still stayed around. Thing got worse and worse with accusing and lies and overthinking from both sides but we always come back to eachother. I wanted to marry her atleast I thought. I went on a trip for a week she left me voicemails saying she couldn’t wait till I got home how much she loved me. When I get home? She’s done. Tells me not to contact her. I’m broken I have no motivation I don’t wanna do shit with myself. Any advice?
    I'll bet everyone here can relate. Try to find something to take your mind off of it... positive, not other women, well, just don't get carried away. Poor your heart into work or working out, find yourself. Try not to think about it. Time. Time.

  27. #27
    Ttfors is offline New Member
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    Yes, that is why I came to the forum because I knew everyone would have great information. Doesn’t help I’ve been on pct for a few months. I’ve been reevaluating and realized the relationship took away from my training, work, social life. I’m realizing myself even though I loved her dearly. Sometimes it’s best to let go. I’m still struggling with overthinking, especially wondering who she’s fuckin. I am assistant manager at a gym atm. So I’m going to make this place my Bitch for the next little while lol. Really channel into my body for this one
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  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ttfors View Post
    I’m a young guy 19. Been on and off with this girl for 4 years. Deeply in love everything was fine but lies started to come out from her. Big or little lots of lies. I felt betrayed and reached out fucked other girls but she still stayed around. Thing got worse and worse with accusing and lies and overthinking from both sides but we always come back to eachother. I wanted to marry her atleast I thought. I went on a trip for a week she left me voicemails saying she couldn’t wait till I got home how much she loved me. When I get home? She’s done. Tells me not to contact her. I’m broken I have no motivation I don’t wanna do shit with myself. Any advice?
    Coach Corey Wayne. He will change your life. You're welcome

    I will say this as well cause I've been in my share of unhealthy relationships lol.

    Focus on your goals and your life. Period. Do not reach out to her at this point. And when she eventually reaches out to you, make some time for her over dinner and when dinner is over say you enjoyed seeing her and you'd love to do it again sometime, pay the bill, and be on your way. Show her that you have shit going on in your life and she isn't the most important thing in your life. The second she thinks that (whether it's true or not) she will lose respect for you and it's the beginning of the end. Once a woman loses respect for you you're just gonna torture yourself trying to do everything right BUT none of it matters at that point. Trust me.

    I'm gonna say it one more time in the hopes that you'll learn this faster than I did lol. Set goals for yourself and focus on working towards them. If she reaches out and you want to see her that's fine, but make some time for her in your busy schedule so she can see you care BUT after spending some time with her you gotta get going cause you have shit to do. Don't be rude about it. Just matter of fact. Thank her for coming, give her a hug and LEAVE! Do not call or text her. If she texts you use it soley for the purpose of setting up the next date. Do not go back and forth via texts and don't spend time talking to her on the phone. The phone should be used for setting up dates, that's all. Conversation should be left for when you're in person.

    Last thing.. This ONLY works with women that have integrity and good values. If she was cheating on you then chances are she doesn't have much integrity at this point in her life. I'm not saying she's a bad person but maybe she's at a plaec in her life where she's not willing to be monogamous. Anyway, that's just speculation and is for you to decide. But for more detailed advice check out my boy Corey he's good people and KNOWS what he's talking about.

  29. #29
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    What does her mom look like? Cougars will make you forget all your troubles.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ScotchGuard02 View Post
    Just because times change and social norms change, that doesn't mean our characters as human being changes over time. Trust, fidelity, friendship, loyalty are not just character traits written in books. These are real and will build within you character traits that will strengthen you from within. Don't go crazy and sleep with every woman you see. Transactional sex or "hook ups" is meaning less and will leave you feeling even more empty.

    You asked for advice so this is my advice. Go and clean your room and keep it clean. You can't control what's happened to you with your girlfriend leaving you but you can control something. Start small. Clean you room and control just that portion of your life. The simple act of cleaning your room will give you responsibility. It is stepping up to responsibility that builds character. When you clean your room, you want to keep clean clothes in your room so do your laundry. You don't want to put clean clothes on a dirty body so make sure your personal hygiene is up to snuff. Work on one aspect of your life at a time and build your character as a man. I don't mean a man that's able to bed 10 women in 1 night. I mean a man that gives his word and keeps it, a man who protects those that are unable to protect themselves, I could go on but this is not the forum. In other words, take on responsibility and complete them. There is NO quick fix. Healing takes time. You have the power within you to become a great man. Keep moving forward. Hey, I'm an old fart and believe responsibility builds men (and women). My .02
    Wow Scotch that's the most impressive advice I've heard you give yet! I felt inspired from that haha you're a good man!
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  31. #31
    AlphaMindz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capebuffalo View Post
    What does her mom look like? Cougars will make you forget all your troubles.

  32. #32
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    If she has been lying to you, you need to move on regardless. Never ever stay with someone that lies to you, it never stops. You will be miserable if you stay with her, never knowing if you can trust her, which you cant
    Lying is a ugly thing

  33. #33
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    ^ he's def onto something here

    Get a nice 40+ year old & let the good times roll
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  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> > View Post
    ^ he's def onto something here

    Get a nice 40+ year old & let the good times roll
    oh That is awesome . but he is 19 give him about 10 more years then he will get it.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by calgarian View Post
    oh That is awesome . but he is 19 give him about 10 more years then he will get it.
    10?! I suppose so, huh

    I found this out in my mid 20's when the ex wife split - first few after had a solid 2 decades on me

  36. #36
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    When me and my first fiance broke up, I was around 22, I was all love sick and crap. I moped around for awhile, feeling sorry for myself, till I met a 35 year old hot fitness girl at a bar. She gave me bj and we fucked in her car in the parking lot, then rode home with her. We fucked about 4 more times that night. She was so awesome, she could stand straight legged and grab her ankles, while I did what ever I wanted to! We would fall asleep from exhaustion, then she would wake me up with a bj, then it was back on. OP, you need to find a girl like her!

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> > View Post
    ^ he's def onto something here

    Get a nice 40+ year old & let the good times roll
    +1 for this,
    Maybe not quite 40 given you are 19, but once you find a MILF that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose there's no going back to clueless teens and young 20's girls

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windex View Post
    +1 for this,
    Maybe not quite 40 given you are 19, but once you find a MILF that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose there's no going back to clueless teens and young 20's girls
    No going back to clueless teens and young 20's girls, till you in your 40's lol
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  39. #39
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    Just do online dating and bang a bunch of girls, u will be over it completely in a month.....you are 19, the chances of you marrying her is very slim to begin with at that age, you will change a ton over the next 10 years, emotionally, physically and mentally.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by MACKATTACK View Post
    Just do online dating and bang a bunch of girls, u will be over it completely in a month.....you are 19, the chances of you marrying her is very slim to begin with at that age, you will change a ton over the next 10 years, emotionally, physically and mentally.

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