ex gf vent

[HoldMyBeer]

So I was living w this girl for years and years. Then for a few years she replapsed on heroin coke etc on and off. I would twist her ear and drag her into sobriety. But it got to the point I had to dump her and kick her out. This was 9 months ago. Now she has a few days clean shes calling me 24/7 telling me how depressed she is, how she doesnt want to live wo me etc etc. I have to be careful about what I say because I dont want her to off herself of go OD or some shit. WTFFFFFFFFFFF. I thought I was in the clear. 9 months.
This is karma for all the shit I did in the past isnt it? Fuck my life.

[EDCG19]

Cut her out of your life

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[teejey]

Prob end up,giving u herpees or hiv or just keep doing it over and over and over. I have 0 patience for that shit lost my best friends to drug over doses its,too much stress and sadness.

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[Obs]

You have one life.
She has one life.
You don't bring yourself down for someone else. You cannot save someone from theirself. There comes a point where you are enabling people.

I don't share other peoples sentiments towards druggies. Using heroine, meth, crack, or any drug that alters life decisions to suit only getting more of that drug, is a first class ticket out of my life.
I have zero sypathy for overdosers.

None. Not even a little.

They knew the risk when they started and what they intended means nothing to me. I see them all the same as the few spun out meth heads in my town walking around babbling to themselves.

I have a brother I found out got on meth and I didn't speak to him for three years. I heard he was clean and I talked to him again for a bit. He got so fucked up the second time around he will never be who he was again. I spent more hours on this planet with my brother than anyone on earth including my first wife.

I will not speak to him. I will probably bury him before long. Hell we used to taunt methy looking people. We hated them and he knew better than any what the cost is.

I have a very strong hatred for them now. I see them and get a disgusted look on my face and if I got the opportunity in private I would wipe my feet on them.

My gf had no father because of meth and the father of her two children is a bag of shit that has never done a thing for his kids other than get high and not be around.

I know its cold but this is not new knews that hard recreational drugs will end your life. My gfs sister has had every excuse made for her by her mother and she has enabled her to abandon her daughter and come and go as she pleases. She is always spun out and is only around long enough for her daughter to see her coming and going from prison.
The little girl will grow up knowing and already cries for her mother when she is out partying.

Rather than hurt my kids in that manner I would gladly take a bullet to the cerebellum (or be slow roasted) and that is probably the best cure for a lot of them. I hear about overdoses and really can't feel shit for them. I will get a call about my brother one day. I remember who he was but that will never be him again. He died a while back.

Similarly if I enlarge my left ventricle and die at 45 or 50 I can't be crying now can I?

Everyone knows the risk going in. I choose not to allow druggies to be a part of my life. I promise your life will be better if you cut her out. Her life may not be but if ot has gone on this long you wont do anything but enable her.

Its cold but its effective. If everyone refused to feed druggies lifestyles there would be damn few of them. In fact if I was a cop in my town I would seek out the few there are and harass them every day and get every last one of them out of my nice little town. I would give them money to buy drugs just so I could bust their asses and get them arrested.

I fantasize about coming home and finding a tweeker in my house with a couple of his buddies trying to steal shit.

[BG]

Give her Kimbo’s number............to soon? To much? Jk

[Rawdata01]

Bro look, this is how addiction works. Once the substance is gone your left with a hole that needs filled.

She’s using you to fill it. Assuming you’d prefer something more than being some junkies dream and the only way to be better is to do better.

You want to help her, then be a shining example of what a good human looks like.

Be her lighthouse from very very far away.
Cut it off


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[Obs]

Give her Kimbo’s number............to soon? To much? Jk

Oh shit bg and I thought I was cold....

I laughed but tried not to

[Josh577]

Get the fuck away from her! Drug addicts are narcissist manipulative using people!
Most addicts never really love any one or any thing other thin them self.

There is no amount of time that you become safe from drug addiction.
You said it your self you had to hold her by the ear to get her to get sober.
If and addict is getting sober out of necessity, like they’re getting sober just to please their family or to stay out of jail.
Then they don’t really want to get sober there just doing out of necessity.
That’s all you are to her is a need, she isn’t calling you to hang out when she’s actually Out doing the shit she wants to be doing I bet.
she is a mother so she needs provided food and shelter for her and those kids and that’s where you fall, you are just a product of need!

I’m sure you think if you stick with her threw these hard times that she is going to recognize that and give you some unconditional love and respect and that is not the case! I promise she’s blowing people behind your back for Dope! she doesn’t respect you or value you. You were just needed stability to fall on and her manipulation works on you.

We already live in a culture that puts women up on this princess pedestal where they are never held accountable for a damn thing they do to men.
So if you take a culture where women is already using sex and manipulation to counter back against men’s Braun and Strength and you add addiction to that women, well that is a very scary women.

[Obs]

Get the fuck away from her! Drug addicts are narcissist manipulative using people!
Most addicts never really love any one or any thing other thin them self.

There is no amount of time that you become safe from drug addiction.
You said it your self you had to hold her by the ear to get her to get sober.
If and addict is getting sober out of necessity, like they’re getting sober just to please their family or to stay out of jail.
Then they don’t really want to get sober there just doing out of necessity.
That’s all you are to her is a need, she isn’t calling you to hang out when she’s actually Out doing the shit she wants to be doing I bet.
she is a mother so she needs provided food and shelter for her and those kids and that’s where you fall, you are just a product of need!

I’m sure you think if you stick with her threw these hard times that she is going to recognize that and give you some unconditional love and respect and that is not the case! I promise she’s blowing people behind your back for Dope! she doesn’t respect you or value you. You were just needed stability to fall on and her manipulation works on you.

We already live in a culture that puts women up on this princess pedestal where they are never held accountable for a damn thing to do men.
So if you take a culture where women is already using sex and manipulation to counter back against men’s Braun and Strength and you add addiction to that women, well that is a very scary women.

Damn...
Well said Sir!

[Obs]

I dont think he said she has kids though. They all pretty much operate in the same area of narcissism though. Pretty much they get any sort of a feeling of remorse for their actions and just shoot more shit to get rid of that feeling too.

Not getting down on hmb at all. Druggies drag on everyone and thats how they exist

[Josh577]

I thought it said he had to kick her and the kids out I must have missed read that

[Obs]

I thought it said he had to kick her and the kids out I must have missed read that

Man your avatar... Once we know we cant look away.
I can smell it.

[Josh577]

Yea it was pissy

[Josh577]

When you walk up on some shit like that how can you not just stop and take a photo

[Obs]

When you walk up on some shit like that how can you not just stop and take a photo

Oh shit that was worse in high def

[< <Samson> >]

Addiction - whatever

Omit her asap, people who can't help themselves can't be helped



Sucks, maybe



But, it's just the way it is - there's no positive from any of this

[HoldMyBeer]

Thanks everyone for listening to my bitching.
I would love to go no contact, but I feel like if putting up w some bullshit can save a life, I am obligated to do so.
I realize it probably doesn't matter what I do, a junkie is going to do what a junkie does regardless. But many many years ago I was an addict myself, and people did not give up on me, and if it was for them I would not have made it.
Her constantly telling me she loves me and wants me to fuck her is an issue. I keep expecting a bunny boiling in a pot when I get home.....

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[< <Samson> >]

^ I feel ya

Prob is that it can take you down with - as u mentioned being addicted to shit yourself in the past


It's kinda how it is damn near all around me - it's blind leading the blind -


All on u man - right now, no way I myself could drag a boat anchor - I'd relapse and be no help to anyone including myself

[Chrisp83TRT]

Oh shit that was worse in high def

Hahah !!!


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[Chrisp83TRT]

I had a neighbors son recently die of an overdose.

Years and years of in and out rehabs, did absolutely nothing but we have parts to play in this. People around him enabled him which didn’t help but if someone wants help and want to clean up, they will

I understand what obs is saying and unfortunately, it’s hard to feel bad or people that fuck with drugs and continue to do so.

Sad thing about my
Neighbor is they found him with a needle in his arm at work. And what makes it even worse is he has a daughter. People don’t realize how selfish using is as it effects everyone that ever cared about you.

I know for a fact this poor girl is going to grow up fucked for life because her dad only gave a shit for his 20 second fix.

I may also sound harsh , but we need to be harsh and have Jess real talks because this shit needs to stop.

It’s why I’m so frustrated why our gov. Is so harsh when it comes to gear meanwhile people are dying left and right on many other things , including all these drugs for fucking restless leg syndrome.

It may be a soft topic for people who have lost someone in this situation but we all need to face reality when it comes to this.

My father past of lung cancer and the soul cooperate was cigarettes: he wasn’t an unhealthy man, but smoked a shit ton everyday. When I see people smoking , let’s just say It’s a natural blood pumping pre work out.

Hope she gets help bro but I think you should tell her she needs to lean on someone else and not make you feel faulty for her fuck ups ... cause that’s what she is essentially doing.
We all have enough stresses in our lives.

Have a great weekend my brothers


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[Kimbo Almond]

Tell her you'll do a 10-day silent retreat with her (Buddhist meditation). I'm doing my fourth next month. You don't have to become a Buddhist, you can be a Christian and just go meditate.

My ex took her life 2 years ago.

[Obs]

Tell her you'll do a 10-day silent retreat with her (Buddhist meditation). I'm doing my fourth next month. You don't have to become a Buddhist, you can be a Christian and just go meditate.

My ex took her life 2 years ago.

I feel for you kimbo.
None of it was your doing.

[Kimbo Almond]

I feel for you kimbo.
None of it was your doing.

I dunno man.

If you go to a "Bereaved Through Suicide" support group, they'll talk about "misplaced guilt", so part of me understands that I might just be like any other human being who feels responsible/guilty when they lose someone through suicide (thoughts of What could I have done? What didn't I do? What did I do to make it impossible for them to move forward?).

There was a lot of nastiness between myself and my ex after we broke up. I did some pretty decrepit shit, and I might have made it impossible for her to find her way forward. I haven't told you guys the worst thing I did. Maybe in my case it's a matter of "actual guilt" instead of "misplaced guilt".

There's something I believe about suicide. Suicide doesn't happen. It is caused. I therefore try to see my own role (if any) in Danielle's death. I mean if a kid who was molested went on to kill himself, I would attribute that suicide to the child molester. He caused it. He was the agent of that death.

A human mind can be turned inside out by inexpressible sorrow. Sorrow that can't be expressed. It's like coming back from Disney World with Disney money and needing to spend it in order to continue moving forward. But it's unspendable. There's fuck all you can do with inexpressible sorrow other than write poetry and spraypaint your rollerblades.

Sometimes I feel a tingly panic rise up in me. It's the realisation of the horror that my world has become. I stifle it and quench it and learn a new musical instrument or join a new religion. I have buried it time after time after time. There must come a day though when I make the conscious choice to embrace the pain. I can't yet though.

Eric Clapton asked "Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?". I wonder if she'll be there, if she'll make contact with me, if she'll leave the room. I loved that girl more than anyone or anything I ever loved, I used to kiss her eyes as she fell asleep. She no longer exists in what I consider to be "my world" and "my life", which is a thought beyond my bravery. And so I'll dwell on the thought of Will you smile when you see me in heaven?

[Couchlockd]

I dunno man.

If you go to a "Bereaved Through Suicide" support group, they'll talk about "misplaced guilt", so part of me understands that I might just be like any other human being who feels responsible/guilty when they lose someone through suicide (thoughts of What could I have done? What didn't I do? What did I do to make it impossible for them to move forward?).

There was a lot of nastiness between myself and my ex after we broke up. I did some pretty decrepit shit, and I might have made it impossible for her to find her way forward. I haven't told you guys the worst thing I did. Maybe in my case it's a matter of "actual guilt" instead of "misplaced guilt".

There's something I believe about suicide. Suicide doesn't happen. It is caused. I therefore try to see my own role (if any) in Danielle's death. I mean if a kid who was molested went on to kill himself, I would attribute that suicide to the child molester. He caused it. He was the agent of that death.

A human mind can be turned inside out by inexpressible sorrow. Sorrow that can't be expressed. It's like coming back from Disney World with Disney money and needing to spend it in order to continue moving forward. But it's unspendable. There's fuck all you can do with inexpressible sorrow other than write poetry and spraypaint your rollerblades.

Sometimes I feel a tingly panic rise up in me. It's the realisation of the horror that my world has become. I stifle it and quench it and learn a new musical instrument or join a new religion. I have buried it time after time after time. There must come a day though when I make the conscious choice to embrace the pain. I can't yet though.

Eric Clapton asked "Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?". I wonder if she'll be there, if she'll make contact with me, if she'll leave the room. I loved that girl more than anyone or anything I ever loved, I used to kiss her eyes as she fell asleep. She no longer exists in what I consider to be "my world" and "my life", which is a thought beyond my bravery. And so I'll dwell on the thought of Will you smile when you see me in heaven?

That's translocation of responsibility.

Some one takes thier own life, it's thier decision and choice.

End of story.

Just like my actions are my own, at the end of the day it's me who has to deal with my decisions.

[Kimbo Almond]

That's translocation of responsibility.

Some one takes thier own life, it's thier decision and choice.

End of story.

Just like my actions are my own, at the end of the day it's me who has to deal with my decisions.

I sort of semi-believe the following:
"An individual is not responsible for the emotional reactions that another person deliberately and strategically elicits from them, nor responsible for the resultant behaviour stemming from these emotional reactions."

I believe this 50%.

[Josh577]

Mantle Illness is never something that we are prepared to deal with, it’s not your fault man

[< <Samson> >]

I do agree with this shit tho, if they are suicidal - right, it's their fault. . . .But, you'll still be left with the feeling of "I could have done more"


- I know I would



Just depends on where you are - like I said, I'm no help. . . . I can barely help myself atm & I have no one to go to - People usually come to me

[Proximal]

Kimbo, I’d hit like to that post, but it would seem inappropriate to me.

I don’t know you, but I sense true sincerity in Obs. I can only assume here by Obs’s comment that he understands your situation. I’ll go with my gut here that if he’s giving you a pass, it’s legit.

I firmly believe that you cannot cause another to take their life. Of course, everything that you/we do (or don’t do) will ALWAYS impact others. How can it not? But, it will ALWAYS be up to others to respond in a way that THEY feel is correct for them. That is THEIR right & THEIR responsibility as a human. At that point you and your actions are out of the equation.

I strongly believe in an afterlife to my core. And that there will always be forgiveness for the contrite.

[Kimbo Almond]

I firmly believe that you cannot cause another to take their life. Of course, everything that you/we do (or don’t do) will ALWAYS impact others. How can it not? But, it will ALWAYS be up to others to respond in a way that THEY feel is correct for them. That is THEIR right & THEIR responsibility as a human. At that point you and your actions are out of the equation.

There's a photograph of a school class of two dozen boys. This photograph was taken around about the 1960's in a school in Ireland. Half the boys in that photograph went on to die through suicide. It would later transpire that there was a teacher molesting them.

Do you not think that the blame for these school boys' suicides rests with the teacher who molested them?

Are you really so sure that one human being cannot cause the suicide of another human being?

[Kimbo Almond]

Here's a similar story from Australia.Twelve of the boys in the photograph killed themselves.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/wor...ves-abuse.html

[Proximal]

There's a photograph of a school class of two dozen boys. This photograph was taken around about the 1960's in a school in Ireland. Half the boys in that photograph went on to die through suicide. It would later transpire that there was a teacher molesting them.

Do you not think that the blame for these school boys' suicides rests with the teacher who molested them?

Are you really so sure that one human being cannot cause the suicide of another human being?

Kimbo, I cannot put myself in your shoes.

Nor am I a psychologist to make an intelligent reply to that. I would argue that the boys were children and that the impact of the trauma would be in my estimation, more severe & more difficult to make a proper decision. I tend to think a little too much (in fact I drink myself into numbness every evening to stop). But with all of that thinking, I come to the belief that nothing is absolute (except your personal feelings).

Are you equating yourself to someone who molested multiple children?

Last year a good friend of ours committed suicide. We knew it was inevitable. We did what we could, but still knew. Did we cause it because of our inaction, because a STRONG argument can be made for that? I think about it frequently.

[Proximal]

I want to continue this, in fact if you want to share anything more personal about the situation and feel that I am worthy of your trust, then please PM me. Again though, I am not a psychologist nor am I trying to be.

Forgive me if there is a lapse now, I have to step away to take care of some things and will be back in about 45 minutes. TY.

[Kimbo Almond]

Kimbo, I cannot put myself in your shoes.

Nor am I a psychologist to make an intelligent reply to that. I would argue that the boys were children and that the impact of the trauma would be in my estimaiI tend to think a little too much
<snip>
Are you equating yourself to someone who molested multiple children?

Sort of. I deliberately offended a person greatly, and they killed themselves.

I don't think much of psychologists. I'd rather engage with a person with life experience (rather than a person who learned about people's life experience).

(in fact I drink myself into numbness every evening to stop). But with all of that thinking, I come to the belief that nothing is absolute (except your personal feelings
<snip>
Last year a good friend of ours committed suicide. We knew it was inevitable. We did what we could, but still knew. Did we cause it because of our inaction, because a STRONG argument can be made for that? I think about it frequently.

You could be doing a lot worse than having a few drinks in the evening. I got into chanting and meditation, and haven't drank since January.

[almostgone]

Bro look, this is how addiction works. Once the substance is gone your left with a hole that needs filled.

She’s using you to fill it. Assuming you’d prefer something more than being some junkies dream and the only way to be better is to do better.

You want to help her, then be a shining example of what a good human looks like.

Be her lighthouse from very very far away.
Cut it off


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In bold above, my first thought was really inappropriate, so I'm not going to post what I was thinking out of respect for a very real and serious subject.

[Proximal]

More than a few drinks, but yeah, there are worse things.

I’m sorry that your offense lead to a death, but you honestly include yourself in the same sentence/train of thought with a child molester?

And now this is going to be a HUGE and perhaps offensive idea to many. I am guessing that if you believe in an afterlife, you believe in God (not the offensive part). Could you imagine being a child molesting priest? Can you imagine the pain that that man is enduring. Is he “sick”, does he need help, should he get away from children? Yes, yes, yes. But I’m sure there is a rationalization there that he feels by being in Gods service it might balance his sins. Think of how well weird it is to be born as guys and naturally want to stick our d**ks into different orifices. This priests choice of orifices is deemed unacceptable (rightfully so), but God allowed him, gave him those desires.

Could you imagine the pain of having to endure life knowing that God created you, yet what he created can sonehow prevent you from entering his kingdom in the afterlife. What a tortured soul. Do you think he is contrite? Do you think God will show him mercy? I do.

Welcome to my mind. You offended someone dear to you. Can you forgive yourself? I am now drinking. Thankfully we are having guests over that will limit my time here tonight. TY for allowing me to exchange ideas with you, sincerely.

[Rawdata01]

In bold above, my first thought was really inappropriate, so I'm not going to post what I was thinking out of respect for a very real and serious subject.

How’s that inappropriate? I’m a recovering addict bro. That’s first hand experience.


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[almostgone]

How’s that inappropriate? I’m a recovering addict bro. That’s first hand experience.


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No, you misunderstand me. Your post was in no way inappropriate, it was as you say, real life experience.

My mind zoned in on the words I highlighted from your post and turned it into something inappropriate.

[Rawdata01]

No, you misunderstand me. Your post was in no way inappropriate, it was as you say, real life experience.

My mind zoned in on the words I highlighted from your post and turned it into something inappropriate.

Bwahahahaha hahahahaha


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[diesel101]

Bang her one more time and then tell us married guys how it all turns out.

Us married guys really enjoy seeing all you single guys have issues with women.

Just kidding run and run fast.

[Obs]

I dunno man.

If you go to a "Bereaved Through Suicide" support group, they'll talk about "misplaced guilt", so part of me understands that I might just be like any other human being who feels responsible/guilty when they lose someone through suicide (thoughts of What could I have done? What didn't I do? What did I do to make it impossible for them to move forward?).

There was a lot of nastiness between myself and my ex after we broke up. I did some pretty decrepit shit, and I might have made it impossible for her to find her way forward. I haven't told you guys the worst thing I did. Maybe in my case it's a matter of "actual guilt" instead of "misplaced guilt".

There's something I believe about suicide. Suicide doesn't happen. It is caused. I therefore try to see my own role (if any) in Danielle's death. I mean if a kid who was molested went on to kill himself, I would attribute that suicide to the child molester. He caused it. He was the agent of that death.

A human mind can be turned inside out by inexpressible sorrow. Sorrow that can't be expressed. It's like coming back from Disney World with Disney money and needing to spend it in order to continue moving forward. But it's unspendable. There's fuck all you can do with inexpressible sorrow other than write poetry and spraypaint your rollerblades.

Sometimes I feel a tingly panic rise up in me. It's the realisation of the horror that my world has become. I stifle it and quench it and learn a new musical instrument or join a new religion. I have buried it time after time after time. There must come a day though when I make the conscious choice to embrace the pain. I can't yet though.

Eric Clapton asked "Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?". I wonder if she'll be there, if she'll make contact with me, if she'll leave the room. I loved that girl more than anyone or anything I ever loved, I used to kiss her eyes as she fell asleep. She no longer exists in what I consider to be "my world" and "my life", which is a thought beyond my bravery. And so I'll dwell on the thought of Will you smile when you see me in heaven?

I have experience with people of all walks. I have been the only person holding a couple of hands of people I cared about as they drew their last breath. I know fully well the damages that come from suicide and the guilt it causes. Aside from having people in my family kill themself, there are things I cannot and will not talk about with anyone, ever.

I actually wrote a short story on a suicide that set a chain reaction that broke my family apart in 1994.
Even today amends have not been made.

If you need to talk pm me sometime.
I buried my guilt with anger until I realized some people simply get what the fuck they deserve and others simply puss out and take the chickenshit way out.

The suicidal one is always the one at fault.
I have known people to endure the toughest things imaginable in terms of shitty hands dealt. They pushed on and became an inspiration to others. I know others that folded for little reason and caused more suffering than their life was worth, simply put.

Also, a child molestor does not cause suicide. Weak nature does. The same kind of weak nature that causes some people to be child molestors.

When I became a man, I looked at my plight and said, "I put myself here. Anything that happens to me from this point forward I hold myself responsible and I blame no one for where I am."