My cousin died, my best friend

**mustang331** · 07-19-2003, 02:10 PM

By the end of this message I think my keyboard will be fried from the amount of tears hitting the keyboard, this is so hard... He got in last friday, the friday that just passed from NY. I live in fort lauderdale FL. Anyway he got in, and we went to my new house, there were about 40 people waiting, It was party time!!

We get to my house and start the party, he is going to be here for about 10 days, my cousin is 23 years old and is in the middle of his first cycle! I am going to make this short becuause this is so freaking hard for me, I went to sleep about 6 am, but I never really slept just layed there, my cousin was still going strong, coke,oxy contin, xannax, drinkin, plus the roids in his system.. I think he went to bed about 3pm, I got up to get a drink and he was laying on his back on my couch, snoring away, I said to myself I will let him sleep. I then get back to my room and sleep till about 7pm or so, I get up and walk out to wake my cousin up, and I noticed throw up dripping from his mouth. I freaked up and went nuts, my GF was already on the phone with 911. I am freaking out trying to remember CPR, I threw him off the couch and onto to the floor, I know I was doing it right just the wrong times, 5 down, 2 breaths or is 5 down 1 breath, I had no Idea which it was, I could not do it much longer, I was freaking like never before, thank god 911 got there quick REALLY QUICK
( 3min )

He was cold, and his tounge was white as could be, I could not breath so well, I was not holding up, I cannot stop shaking till this day, I don't know how I will ever get over this. I prob. never will, EVER..
In my worste nightmare, even day dreaming something bad, this never even got on the list....

GOD HELP ME AND THE REST OF US

I wrote this on another message board I belong to, since he was a body builder, I thought I would post it here...
Its been about a week since it happened, I wrote what was above the day after, I am hanging in there, though it still hurts worse then anything.. He died from throwing up while laying on his back, and not an OD of drugs, though the drugs had everything to do with it... I got back from NY today where the funral was, It was a crazy one, over 4000 people came...

Just thought I would share my horror story to some of you guys, and maybe save a few... I will never ever touch drugs again....

LORDBLiTZ · 07-19-2003, 02:25 PM

Thats very sad bro. Tough to see someone that young die. You and cousin will be in my prayers.

**palme** · 07-19-2003, 02:33 PM

So sorry to hear bro, stay strong!

Dont tell me he was mixing painkillers and alkohol?

**pal** · 07-19-2003, 02:41 PM

So sorry to hear that!

**TheMudMan** · 07-19-2003, 02:55 PM

Sorry to hear about your loss

**tolinka** · 07-19-2003, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by TheMudMan

Sorry to hear about your loss

sorry to hear about you losss.

**FKITLETSGO** · 07-19-2003, 04:49 PM

Im very sorry about your loss it must be hard. this is the reason i would never touch recreational drugs!

***BIG TEXAN*** · 07-19-2003, 09:31 PM

Mustang, I am truely sorry. This is a very dramatic event and it will be difficult to put it out of your mind. I hope you can move on and just learn the lesson that I believe you have. Don not blame yourself in any way and just remember you did what you could of and life does eventually go on. Good luck amnd stay strong bro.

**mustang331** · 07-19-2003, 09:47 PM

I thought I would share some pics of him and his girl...

http://imageevent.com/clubhouse2000/...may31july1pics

43-46 are them..

Thanks for all the support EVERYONE...

**Rickson** · 07-19-2003, 10:16 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hate to see such a terrible tragedy happen to one so young.

**OGPackin** · 07-20-2003, 09:01 AM

Wow bro, im really sorry for ur loss! My sympathies go out to u and his family!! Stay strong bro!

OG

**Tock** · 07-20-2003, 04:41 PM

It sucks when friends pass away.
Keep in mind there are probably grief management (not the best term) sessions close to your location to help with the guilt, anger, depression, anxiety you'll be feeling. If you don't attend a few of those sessions, do yourself a favor and do a yahoo search on 'grief management' and see what info/help you can find . . .
I watched a dozen or so friends die slow, agonizing deaths. It sucks bigtime. You have my consolations . . .
--Tock

**Yung Wun** · 07-20-2003, 04:51 PM

my condolences brotha, keep ur head up

**FCECC2** · 07-20-2003, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by Yung Wun

my condolences brotha, keep ur head up

im forwarding this... be strong...

**zmatalucci** · 07-20-2003, 10:09 PM

Im terribly sorry for your loss,,remember the good times you had with him,, and keep your head up!

**BIG R** · 07-21-2003, 07:36 AM

I'm sorry this has happened to you. You probably havent slept for ahile. There was very little that you could have done if he had taken that much drugs during the course of the night. Dont take the blame for this in your heart........it was one HUGE mistake that he made taking that much drugs while on gear. I would be taking this probably much worse than you, try to be stong for your loved ones they need your support.

Peace,

R

**cooksbrut** · 07-21-2003, 07:49 AM

have buried enough friends now from drug ods drinking and driving, suicide,.. etc.... however have never been that close to someone(cousin/ best friend) or had the first hand knowledge it happening before my eyes.... good luck to you bro... try not to let it haunt you in you memories... it was NOT even remotely your fault.... wish you the best in your toughest times ....... cooksbrut

**SonGoku** · 07-21-2003, 07:55 AM

My condolences.

**FRANK WHITE** · 07-21-2003, 08:48 AM

Very sorry about your loss Bro. He looked like a really cool Bro who had a lot going for him. And he looked like he really enjoyed life. Try to remember the quality Bro he was. In that way, he'll keep living. My deepest condolances.

**Butch** · 07-21-2003, 10:59 AM

Stay strong bro....I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers go out to you and your family. He seemed like a good kid. Hang in there and most of all stay strong...God will help and guide you through this.