A bit of dating advice?

[sv.elia]

So far I only met guys that were attracted to me when I played hard-to-get, and the moment I started being reassuring regarding my feelings, they started losing interest.

Am I dating the wrong type or really no man likes women that are doing a bit of courtship themselves (like sending first lines, reminders, compliments and so on)?

Recently I did just that to a terribly good looking athlete, but I got late short replies. And I don't know what to think, is he busy or am I fooling myself into believing he has any use of some building up from me.

I played hard-to-get games on a few ppl a while ago, resulting in some talk of long term commitment. But I did not like having the upper hand, being less involved and always with a thought ahead. Being manipulative feels lonely.

Do I really have to be a distant cold bitch to get
the interest of a good man? Or maybe wait longer for someone else?

[KINGKONG]

It's the men your dating..it's a single serving world (one of my favorite lines from fight club)
Good looking men especially now days wanna sow their oats..it's nothing personal against you..If a women plays too hard to get, I think she's not into me...so I won't make contact.you know, never act desperate but play the fine line between letting them know you like them but, you have others waiting in the midst..As far as sex, make them wait..They respect you for it..At least I do..it's been along time since a girl made me wait past first night and I dated both of them..men who respect themselves want the same from a women..I'll be first to admit it's sexist af that men can do whatever and not get labeled, in fact get celebrated ..in our weird pseudo Christian world it's kinda the way it is..
You'll know the right guy when you meet him!
Keep on enjoying dating and don't take anything personal!

“The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing” Socrates

[Cuz]

If a woman was to play hard to get for more than a week or so id probably just move on I mean yea its cute at first but i mean prefer “real” women and not an act or game.
I also wouldnt get to hung up on a person if they “responded late “ or didn’t act interested.
I would hate to try and start over again, me and my wife have been together almost 16 years and its gotten very rocky at times mostly bc it has been my fault but the point is she is my soul mate whether we argue and really dont have shit in common its just that bond that you cant really see or feel its just there.
If you’re having guy problems id just suggest maybe a different approach to things. Number one thing is to be yourself and never put on any kind of front if you want a good man, for a LTR now just a good time is different. I think you will get it figured out in time you just have to stay confident in yourself and be you.

[Proximal]

I love what Cuz said about being yourself & not putting up a front. Is being a little coy or mysterious cool, absolutely; until it turns into gamesmanship.

As Cuz stated, keep your confidence.

[Ernst]

Their problem, not yours. No doubt in my mind.

Just be true to yourself and let the people who appreciate that show themselves.

[JaneDoe]

You are a very nice and true woman, you deserve a man who is reciprocal with the feelings!


Imho;


Many guys who are very handsome have self-centeredness and narcissism, so they don't care about feelings.


We can also point out, that the majority suffered some psychological disorder in the past of contempt for women, humiliation etc., in short they create a shield for loving bonds, they no longer believe in any girl etc ... They just want sex and nothing else!
I follow you here on the forum and see that you are a very nice and pleasant woman; who is losing is this guy.

[JaneDoe]

This masculine contempt ends up attracting more women.


Then you ask, why?


1. Women are more attracted to bad men, those guys who don't flatter her all the time.




2. Most of the guys who lead a ruled life in the fitness world, build a physical and know that they are in good physical condition. They also take care of the appearance etc.






3. Athletes, always a woman who is an athlete. They are completely selective with whom they will relate.


They want a woman who has a high level of body aesthetics just like him.






4. Here comes the question of the social position he is in; for example, if he is a financially successful guy he will find the right to relate only to women who are of the same social level as his.

[sv.elia]

I'm really grateful for every input. And I'm glad I posted because It helps a lot reading an objective/outside view on this.

Yup, no more games. Whatever that will attract.

[jstone]

3. Athletes, always a woman who is an athlete. They are completely selective with whom they will relate.


They want a woman who has a high level of body aesthetics just like him.

This part isnt true for everyone. I have always been athletic, and the last thing i want is an athletic girl who wants to be at the gym. I want them to be active and do something, but not fit. I also dont want them to lift. The gym is mine, and I don't want to share it.

[DuckTheViking]

If you put on a front in the beginning, e.g. act like someone else, you will probably attract men who are attracted to that personality. What happens when you change after some time, is the man supposed to change and like the new you? The men who are attracted to a stable relationship-focused woman will never even be interested in getting to know you, because they'll meet that hard-to-get woman instead.

Doesn't always have to start with a relationship in mind though... I met my wife 7 years ago, we started off just doing fun things together, weekend get-aways, partying etc. Then we got closer and closer together but didn't really commit. After a year I was transferred with work somewhere else, I realised that I really liked this person and we decided that she'd move with me. Love built slowly but deeply, not at first sight.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[JaneDoe]

This part isnt true for everyone. I have always been athletic, and the last thing i want is an athletic girl who wants to be at the gym. I want them to be active and do something, but not fit. I also dont want them to lift. The gym is mine, and I don't want to share it.

Most guys who are bodybuilding athletes in my country are like that, they don't relate to ordinary girls who just do weight training.
They want, women with high body aesthetics; hot babes. Silicone, big ass and cracked abdomen.

Lmao

[JaneDoe]

I'm really grateful for every input. And I'm glad I posted because It helps a lot reading an objective/outside view on this.

Yup, no more games. Whatever that will attract.

You can always count on us!

[Cuz]

Most guys who are bodybuilding athletes in my country are like that, they don't relate to ordinary girls who just do weight training.
They want, women with high body aesthetics; hot babes. Silicone, big ass and cracked abdomen.

Lmao

I definitely wouldnt say no to the above described woman lol

[JaneDoe]

I definitely wouldnt say no to the above described woman lol

I see, she truly looks like an attractive woman.

[KINGKONG]

I like a pretty face and curves...
Abs on a women, not my thing..if she's got discipline to keep them, she has my respect though..
sorry OP,
Got off track for a sec..hope you find that man, seems you have the tools...take your time!
You will know..


“The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing” Socrates

[< <Samson> >]

Depends on your demographic, I suppose


In my / our lives - we have, wives, ex wives, kids, step kids, grand kids - we ain’t got time for that shit

Like mentioned above - we'll lose interest, well - aside from getting a piece before completely not giving a shit

If I want something other than reality, I’ll play video games

[JaneDoe]

[JaneDoe]

I like a pretty face and curves...
Abs on a women, not my thing..if she's got discipline to keep them, she has my respect though..
sorry OP,
Got off track for a sec..hope you find that man, seems you have the tools...take your time!
You will know..


“The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing” Socrates

I also don't like artificial women, I prefer more women with natural feminine beauty.
imo, pretty face and some curves like you mentioned above

[< <Samson> >]

I also don't like artificial women, I prefer more women with natural feminine beauty.
imo, pretty face and some curves like you mentioned above

Depends on the day


But, still #1 is some sort of fit - even the chix post a bit of heavy juice r hot to me. . . Just that voice def kills it a bit every time

[Cuz]

Depends on the day


But, still #1 is some sort of fit - even the chix post a bit of heavy juice r hot to me. . . Just that voice def kills it a bit every time

Derailing here but yea i cant to chics with fucked up voices just no I mean a little ok but full blown man voice nope

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Here's what I believe:

Every time you change something about yourself, two things will happen:
(1) You will attract people
(2) You will repel people

I'm not a celebrity or public figure, but everyday folk around my town here would know me from rollerblading around, from busking out on the street singing and playing guitar, from reading poetry at Open Mic nights, and I think a lot of these people know about my exgirlfriend (I have talked about it publicly at the local theatre when there was a play about suicide, and also some of my poems that I read are on this theme).

Even if you have a face like a chewed toffee, you get attention from the opposite sex (and the same sex!) easily if you busk out on the street. Every busker has a girl or two interested in them.

I've had girls try to get my attention in quite 'in-your-face' ways, using their body to appeal to me sexually. Of course I notice this and I might have whacked off about them when I went to bed later, but as the past few months have gone by, the whole 'in-your-face' thing gets old. What stands out for me now is less direct things that have more meaning.

A girl I met in Milan in December sent me an Instagram DM last week saying, "also, I feel like I only began my spiritual journey once I got into chanting. That's all thanks to you". This comment has attracted me more than the memories of the girls who flaunted their flexible body in front of me. The next message I sent her was "We should voice chat some time". I'm not sure how far it will go but I do want to chat to her after her last comment. Less bullshit, more meaning.

I've never spent time with you SvEila or even chatted with you, and they say that you never really get to know someone til you live with them, but from what you post here, I reckon you've a lot more to offer than excitement, a body and sex. Contrary to the previous posts in this thread, there's plenty of attractive men who will stay away from all the other women while they seek after the one they want.

Best place to meet someone new is at a regular weekly/monthly hobbie. Maybe try an Open Mic night (even if you don't perform). Or go to group rollerblading lessons, or join a big group band (e.g. brass band, flute band). Or go to a weekly language leasson (maybe learn Spanish?). I've started going to nudist stuff lately and some of them are really cool people. Or maybe get into cosplay and attend a Comic Con. Or go to an audition for a small part in an amateur play (I did my 2nd one this year)!

Do you have parkrun (or similar) in Romania?

[< <Samson> >]

Derailing here but yea i cant to chics with fucked up voices just no I mean a little ok but full blown man voice nope

That deep rasp is just ugggggh





But, yeah - back on track - - - I'm too old for BS

[sv.elia]

Loved reading about what people find attractive in a woman. I'll keep in mind not to mess my voice entirely.

Do you have parkrun (or similar) in Romania?

Pretty isolated at the moment. Small town with a gym and cinema only. You can hike a lot, but that doesn't generate social encounters. I won't stay here more than a year though. And I'm definitely joining something after I move out. Taekwondo, Kickboxing or Tango, because I did those previously. I'll just hold a bit longer.

[C27H40O3]

That deep rasp is just ugggggh

You mean Dominican chicks? Yeah. Same here. They all sound like men.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[KINGKONG]

I also don't like artificial women, I prefer more women with natural feminine beauty.
imo, pretty face and some curves like you mentioned above

Kate upton
Perfect!!


“The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing” Socrates

[C27H40O3]

What I need to see in a woman, is her shoulders can’t be wider than her hips. I hate narrow hip chicks.

Need curves, no visible muscles. Must use lotion several times daily so skin is silky smooth.

No fake hair, no visible makeup. Must be easy to look at natural.

Definitely real breasts. No fake stuff.

There’s a certain insecurity inherent in someone who was getting all that fake shit done. I realize by this point in life that I do better avoiding that type.

A few thousand Facebook selfies with kissy or pouting lips is a red flag.

That’s just me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Quester]

I'm pretty flexible with women and I just do what feels right. I never play games because it takes more energy and I kinda want to be sure that the real me is liked. Usually, most of the girls do play games but I don't give a shit. However, the cognitive load of trying to keep up with that shit eventually overwhelms me and I realize that I have a dog, a surfboard and a car. Almost everytime the girl is trying either convinced I was playing games from the beginning and thinks my aloofness is one of those games or they are trying to convince me they aren't playing games anymore while I've already moved past the point of no return, emotionally.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

... Tango ...

Two new things I have to do: Tango, Tai Chi

I was doing Salsa a few years ago but I might do Tango instead.

[Frank777]

I guess, all men like attractive women. But it is easy to lose interest in this beauty when you fell that this not your person. Before I married, I used online dating sites to look for the women. Of course, in most cases I had only hookups, but I met my true love here (she is my wife now). I want to say that you should look for your partner, and if you see that this man doesn't respect you or has other goals, don't waste time on him.

[sv.elia]

I ty for the input! Can't believe this old thread got revived.

[Cuz]

I ty for the input! Can't believe this old thread got revived.

Well...? Hows the dating going? Lol

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Yeah did you find a bachelor(bachlorette) yet?

[Honkey_Kong]

Even though this is old, I'll throw my 2 cents in.

You should just go up to the guy you're interested in and grab his junk. No clearer message can be sent and if he doesn't respond to you the way you want, you'll know he's gay and you won't bother wasting your time from then on.

[Gallowmere]

Even though this is old, I'll throw my 2 cents in.

You should just go up to the guy you're interested in and grab his junk. No clearer message can be sent and if he doesn't respond to you the way you want, you'll know he's gay and you won't bother wasting your time from then on.

I mean, that could work, but dear god, I know you’re not serious.
Speaking from my own stance only, this would be a good way to catch a stray elbow into ones soft parts. I’m open to discussing anything, but if someone aggressively touches me without warning or expression of intent, I’ve been known to have reflexive violent responses.
But hey, if a woman is into that kind of thing...

[SampsonandDelilah]

It’s a miracle a woman would even post in here with you heathens...

[JaneDoe]

It’s a miracle a woman would even post in here with you heathens...

Truth!

[sv.elia]

Loled at the above replies, really grateful for the inputs. I'll let you know as soon as I get married to some other than career and gym.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Loled at the above replies, really grateful for the inputs. I'll let you know as soon as I get married to some other than career and gym.

I still think you should go to the meditation place in Romania. They have courses in both English language and Romana language:

https://www.dhamma.org/ro/schedules/noncenter/ro

and also this one:

https://www.meditatie.ro/

I've done the first link above twice. Haven't done the second one but the advertising/marketing at least looks good.

You'll meet a nice guy/gal there.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

(deleting duplicate post)

[Gallowmere]

Loled at the above replies, really grateful for the inputs. I'll let you know as soon as I get married to some other than career and gym.

On a more serious note, what you are describing here is precisely how my girlfriend and I lived our lives for the first three years that we were together. We lived separately, would go for days without talking to each other, but were always there when one needed the other.
We imposed no demands on the others time, and realized that we needed to be able to both be completely comfortable separately in order to be able to be happy together. It gave us some very interesting perspective, and we both had room to grow our own lives while still being able to share in the others improvements and growths.
Fast forward a couple of years, and we now live together and have been able to transfer these perspectives into a closer existence. We both still have demanding careers and when you pair that with my training schedule, we MIGHT see each other for a handful of hours per week, even though we live together. The things gained during our first few years are absolutely fantastic tools for being able to accept this and still be perfectly happy together.