Did you know that outer space is a vacuum? Well it is. It's a vacuum filled with stuff, and lots of it. There are stars and other planets and little floaty things, and there's probably even some feces out there too. I mean, taking the size of the universe into consideration, one would expect that somewhere along the way, a bunch of atoms and molecules would combine randomly to form a compound with the same chemical composition as Earth feces. Scientists are calling it feces II.
Did you know that ALL planets move in elliptical orbits about their parent stars, and not your garden variety circular orbits? Planets are well known for not being able to do anything right. They aren't even perfect spheres and they carry diseases like rabies and AIDS.
Stars are hot bundles of gas, were you aware of that? Our Sun is so bright, that a person could damage their eyes by staring directly at it. For something that doesn't seem to want people staring at it, it sure does draw a lot of attention to itself don't you think? Scientists now think the Sun is Mexican for that exact reason.
Something most poor people don't realize is that a nebula is a cloud of gas and dust that is waiting to collapse into a solar system. Had they a little more money, they might understand that though scientists aren't giving them the benefit of the doubt.
In outer space, you can't scream or laugh since there isn't any air to carry sound. That's why scientists are now recommending that all tickle fights be held in space. Those things have a tendency to get pretty damn noisy.
The universe is now thought to be expanding radially outwards. Scientists are comparing this phenomenon to fat people. Neither the universe nor the fat are ever expected to stop getting bigger, which works out nicely since this way fat people won't spill over into other universes.
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Originally Posted by Nathan
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA 
Uuuummmmmmm....... damn New Englanders..... just don't know, do they?
