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  1. #1
    Fluidic Kimbo's Avatar
    Fluidic Kimbo is online now Morale Officer (de facto)
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    Little oasis in the graveyard

    Please give me opinions on this.

    My friend died back in January, and he was living in a homeless hostel at the time (so you can take this as an indicator of the relationship he had with his family. I was up at his grave one time and I spoke to a guy who was attending another grave. This other guy told me that I'm the only person he has seen visiting that grave.

    I have mentioned before that I think the person who is entitled to work on a grave is the person who is willing to. I have seen how some people can spend tens of thousands on marble headstones and so forth. Well I'm not a millionaire, but more importantly I don't want to make this about money.

    His grave has not been tended to since he was buried, and the soil is still raised -- it has not been flattened off.

    So I'm thinking of digging the soil down about 3 inches below ground level, and then filling it up to the surface with fine-grained sand. Then I will get some big seashells and drill a hole in the bottom of them, and attach a long metal rod so that I can dig the rod into the ground to secure the seashells in place (so the wind doesn't blow them away).

    The idea is that his grave will be a nice little oasis in the graveyard.

    What do you reckon?

  2. #2
    almostgone's Avatar
    almostgone is online now AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
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    Nice thought, but if he has any relatives, I would clear it with them and also the cemetery caretakers. The guys that take care of grounds maintenance may not be willing to work around it when doing their work.

    But yes, a nice thought to do as a recognition of his life.
    There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
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  3. #3
    Fluidic Kimbo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by almostgone View Post
    Nice thought, but if he has any relatives, I would clear it with them and also the cemetery caretakers. The guys that take care of grounds maintenance may not be willing to work around it when doing their work.

    But yes, a nice thought to do as a recognition of his life.
    I'm not bothered about asking his family's permission. The guy was living in a homeless hostel. And if the soil still hasn't been flattened after 5 months then the person who can design the grave is the person who is willing to.

  4. #4
    almostgone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluidic Cameron View Post
    I'm not bothered about asking his family's permission. The guy was living in a homeless hostel. And if the soil still hasn't been flattened after 5 months then the person who can design the grave is the person who is willing to.
    Sounds like your answered your own question? If so, then definitely, honor your friend and his memory. Just keep in mind when the caretakers do their grounds maintenance, it may get damaged.


    Good luck.
    There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
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  5. #5
    Fluidic Kimbo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by almostgone View Post
    Sounds like your answered your own question? If so, then definitely, honor your friend and his memory. Just keep in mind when the caretakers do their grounds maintenance, it may get damaged.


    Good luck.
    All the other graves are decorated in all sorts of ways. Some of them have pebbles over the surface. Some of them have a solid surface almost like a slate of marble. I reckon flattened sand will be ok. I can beat it down with a spade and make it very flat so that it doesn't blow away in high wind.

    I don't totally fault people for not tending to graves. Sometimes a person is in too much pain to tend to a grave, and I understand that. But I'm willing to spend some time on it, so if a family member does eventually come to visit, then they will have a nice little oasis to come to.

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