Different Strokes for Different Folks

[Fluidic Kimbo]

As humans, we have two brains. We have a left brain and we have a right brain.

In 99% of people, these two brains are joined in the centre at the "corpus callosum". A very small number of people have two brains that work independently as their corpus callosum either never formed properly, or was damaged in a head injury, or was deliberately severed by a medical surgeon (perhaps in an attempt to alleviate seizures).

Here is an adult lady who had one of her brains removed when she was 3 years old, and she seems to be doing just fine with one brain:



So anyway, we have two brains that are pretty much identical... okay well just like your left foot and your right foot they're not exactly the same, but you get the idea -- they're very similar.

Each brain has six main parts (usually called 'lobes'): Frontal, Parietal, Temporal, Occipital, Cerebellum, Brain Stem. Here's a diagram you can click on to make bigger:



Speaking very broadly, different parts of the brain tend to be responsible for particular functions (e.g. skilful hand movement, deductive reasoning). The human brains are very adaptable though, and so if one part is damaged, another part can adopt the functionality of the damaged part. The 3-year-old girl above is a great example of how the human brain(s) can adapt.

Our two brains are supplied with oxygen from blood pumped from our lungs to our brain and back again. This process cannot be interrupted for more than a few minutes otherwise brain death will occur (although there are extreme examples of where people have gone hours without a pulse and then come back to life -- particularly if they are very cold, e.g. a frozen lake).

Ideal blood pressure for a human being at rest is around about 110 / 70 with a pulse of around about 80 beats per minute. If you're a very active athlete who runs a marathon or two every year, then your resting blood pressure and pulse will be lower. Typically, lower means healthier.

Some people live a high-risk lifestyle, for example some people over-eat to obesity, and some people take high doses of anabolic steroids . Changes to cholesterol, along with a rise in blood pressure and pulse rate, can lead us to a major cardiovascular event. If your arteries becomes clogged, you could suffer a heart attack ('myocardial infarction'). If the blood supply to your brain is interrupted in some way, for example by clogged arteries, or by high blood pressure causing an artery to burst in the brain, then we call this a 'stroke'. Strokes can be fatal, but as we will learn by the end of today: There are different strokes for different folks.

I believe that every cloud has a silver lining. I believe that every negative experience in life brings some positive with it, and I believe that it is our duty as parents and role models to always seek the silver lining in the worst of circumstances. It is also of utmost importance in life to be prepared for the unexpected.

Some of you reading this who consistently take high doses of AAS will eventually have a stroke, and so let's prepare for that eventuality and find the silver lining. I ask you:

What kind of stroke would you like to have?

I want the minute details. Tell me where you want the blood clot to appear, tell me what that part of the brain is for, and tell me what the aftermath will be, and the consequences for you and your loved ones.

I mentioned in another thread that I would ideally like to have a burst blood vessel feeding into the 'fusiform gyrus'. This part of the brain is primarily responsible for recognising faces. This would mean that I could go anywhere, at any time, even my own family home on Christmas Day, and see a room full of strangers. Every stranger would have the potential to be a new compassionate friend, and the world would just be one big "friend bucket" for me to play "bob the apple" in.

If I could have a second stroke, then I would like it to be a blood clot in my 'Brocca's area', which would induce a condition called "expressive aphasia". This would mean that my speech would be very minimalistic and very similar to telegraph messages from the 1940's. For instance instead of saying "There is a cat on the table", I would just say "Cat on table.". One of my favourite actresses, Aubrey Plaza, had this kind of stroke when she was 20 years old, although she has no known history of steroid abuse .

Describe to me your perfect stroke.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Hey guys I'm off the phone just now with Director-General of the World Health Organisation, Dr. Tedros Adhanom.

Dr. Adhanom said that he found it greatly irresponsible of me to publish my article on the Perfect Stroke without providing a link to the instructional video on how to react when someone has a stroke. Always remember:

F - Face. Is their face droopy on one side?
A - Arms. Can they raise both arms?
S - Speech. Can they talk properly?
T - Time. Call 911 now!

Here's the video. Even if you have no interest in strokes you can still appreciate the dreamy hunk of a doctor: