This Will Be My last Post

[almostgone]

^ wow

Lol

I had to click the link - shit, I can actually read the site

That’s weird

Sorry for that, Samson. they're on their way out in just a minute.

[< <Samson> >]

Sorry for that, Samson. they're on their way out in just a minute.

Darn Russians


Lol

[almostgone]

Darn Russians


Lol

LOL, they're persistent and stubborn, but in some cases that's a good thing.

[< <Samson> >]

Fresh back in from the ER again

Last Saturday evening around 4:30-5 I got a pain/pressure behind my right eye a bit - not too bad, but worth taking a 800mg ibuprofen for. Went away & I ate, kinda thinking it’s maybe from not eating too long

The pain has lasted till now - I been taking both Tylenol & ibuprofen. It’s been on/off + I have been insanely tired, I nodded out after the gym 2 days back on the way home - I’m not even on anything, luckily the wife was driving

Go into our corona infested ER - they get me into an MRI so fast, I was like wtf - this top priority shit is not bad. Didn’t even make me wait in the ER either - stroke patients get top priority in here - what a win

Within mins I had the neuro, neuro rn & a resident. The neurosurgeon called it some fucking name I can’t remember, but I asked wtf it meant. His explanation was, a full return of all symptoms without the underlying cause < what in the fuck

I asked what can spark it up, he said anything, bad day, anxiety, being dehydrated, etc.

My fucking leg was numb again, like it was when I left the hospital. All symptoms without the insane splitting head pain - he said, everything could just appear without the cause being present.

I talked my RN for a while about it(she was hot of course), but gave me some real solid info. She said people who undergo brain surgery “always” have some sort of probs for quite a while after. I also asked her about my newly wack sleep patterns - she said pretty much the same thing. Post brain surgeries/procedures everyone is off somewhere. Told her what I took for sleep - she was like fuck it, if it works - you need it

All of my lady committee here, including the good looking nurse - say I should take it easy, that’s like asking a grizzly not to maul people.

And, in reality they don’t want me to take easy - they just say that shit. Nurse girl the same, does it look like I take it easy - ha ha, no

So fucking glad to be back home, didn’t think I’d be coming back for a little while. I also figured with BNI being right by my house, I strongly doubt they’d ever let me die - I’m more scared about coming home fucked up. . . Real nice that now I’m on the straight MRI program, I think I’ve had enough radiation to last 5 lifetimes from all the CT & fluoroscopy.

[Richard Head]

Damn man. Glad your back home.

[Mooseman33]

brother, please take it easy.

although we think we are machines we are not.

go easy...

glad you are ok man.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

His explanation was, a full return of all symptoms without the underlying cause < what in the fuck

I asked what can spark it up, he said anything, bad day, anxiety, being dehydrated, etc.

I have a theory on this if you wanna hear it. Call it bullshit if ya want.

Similar to how modern desktop computers have restore points (as in you can go back to the way your computer was a month ago), well I believe that we can go back to any part in our past in terms of mental, emotional and psychological state. This can be seen in 80-year-old grandmothers who wake up one day and can't recognise their family and call themselves by their maiden name. Or when a man in his 40's has a major life event (e.g. his child is killed in a car crash), and all of a sudden he starts acting like he's 16.

I have a few bodily injuries that are fully healed, for example I had tendons reattached in my right forearm, I dislocated my right shoulder and fractured the head of the humerus. These injuries are fully healed but if I'm having a really bad day I can feel a localised pain in my shoulder or my forearm (almost like my mind can remember the trauma and wants to remind me).

I can well believe that the trauma of your entire experience is repeating on you, and even that your body might be reacting to it like it's happening right now.

You're still young and still have plenty of time to develop a meditative practice. I find that regular meditation is very effective for fizzling out old shocks.

[< <Samson> >]

brother, please take it easy.

although we think we are machines we are not.

go easy...

glad you are ok man.

Being serious here - what is taking it easy? No weights, less weights, no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, less alcohol, work less hard, be under less stress?


I cut 90% of the booze out of my diet, I lift hard & enjoy it as most of us do here. I don't do drugs(now, a tad of weed is too much), I work hard - we're high stress & it's not something I can just stop - we might go into vehicle repossession here shortly(oh, that's low stress)


My stress has been up a ton, I'm going through a lot of shit - no one who I deal with can care less about my condition


So, what exactly is taking it easy - no one can tell me


Yet, my neurosurgeon is just rooting on - if you can do it, do it now! Same with my support group folk - if you feel you're able, do it - if that's what makes you happy


This happened so abruptly, not after a hard gym session or some sort of other type of work - I guess I was stressed af about the conversation I was having during the time it happened - I have been symptom free ever since I started hitting the gym again



Ghost pains - Thought shit was a myth



Whatever happens -





I'm mostly ok feeling now - this brain damage stuff, sure is something

[Forestdweller]

wow, read first post and skimmed through some pages. Glad you are still doing alright.

[Mooseman33]

i could not imagine what you are dealing with. Ur last post made the most sense.

the stress i would think is the issue. I am nobody to lecture, but we are not getting younger.

try to find a way to lesson that load.

[kelkel]

B if you feel you're able, do it - if that's what makes you happy

Absolutely as no one knows what tomorrow may bring!
Your attitude is just so impressive.

[GirlyGymRat]

Samson

I had woman problems resulting in hysterectomy and experienced “ghost” pains on the side of removed ovary and in uterus! Dr confirmed it was nerve endings!! So yes that’s real thing!

So not sure what to do about you!! So we all have stress and we either learn to offset it or remove it. I’m at a point I’m no longer seeking the next promotion because the added stress isn’t worth the bump in pay! I rather like my weekends and turning it off at end of my shift!

Figure it out!

[< <Samson> >]

I had woman problems resulting in hysterectomy and experienced “ghost” pains on the side of removed ovary and in uterus! Dr confirmed it was nerve endings!!

So sorry to hear,

Figure it out!

That's pretty much the motto I go by now. . . . As long as I'm amongst the living



But, yes - a real thing(apparently) - I sat for days asking myself am I imagining shit or what - hard to imagine a pressure behind an eye & numbness in a leg


I took it easy today, and I'm feeling alright


I was talking to my nurse about this stuff forever - like, wtf is up with my sleep, why do I act so different, the pains & so on - she was well experienced and worked in the BNI ICU before going front line - she's like look, most of you are off - one way or another, for life. Some worse, some better - irregularities in sleep patterns are pretty much a brain damage standard


The MRI def gave me a peace of "mind" - at least I know it's all physically well up there



Well, fuck - I'm glad to be intact. . . . That's for sure.

[XnavyHMCS]

Glad to hear that you are at home and still going strong.

Keep living life the way that you see fit, and pleasing yourself.

[< <Samson> >]

Glad to hear that you are at home and still going strong.

Keep living life the way that you see fit, and pleasing yourself.

It’s such a fine line

Then this shit happens, that makes me question everything I’m doing

[< <Samson> >]

Impossible to believe that I’m back at the same exact gym where I was year ago shooting spinal fluid out of my nose exactly a year ago - I didn’t even realize it till I took the picture

[charger69]

Impossible to believe that I’m back at the same exact gym where I was year ago shooting spinal fluid out of my nose exactly a year ago - I didn’t even realize it till I took the picture

Is funny how life can be so fragile. You have come so far in so little time. A real inspiration of what you can do if you put your mind to it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[< <Samson> >]

You have come so far in so little time. A real inspiration of what you can do if you put your mind to it.

And, luck bro - a lot of fucking good luck

Not many(if any, I haven’t heard of one yet) - bounce back & as hard as I have post a brain bleed(then the procedure to repair it) - let alone take multiple brain bleeds over a life time - and be without serious deficits


Anyone who can actually fathom of wtf happened to me, calls me the luckiest person alive - now, I agree

[< <Samson> >]

Just updating this for my own reference(I hope this site never goes down officially, I refer to my thread quite a bit)


Head feels fine - wife got a little scared on the incline bench when my eyes went blood shot - no adverse reactions at all as of rn

Sitting right at 211 Lbs as of this am - diet is as close to spot on as I currently can manage, booze is still here - but, to me at a nominal amount. Had two cigarettes over the last maybe 2-3 months - so, smoking is long out the window. . . Stopped smoking a ton of weed, but still do here & there

Blood pressure is nice & steady now - very rarely reaching over the 140/80 mark - specially after I went & donated blood last week. When I was there BP was 133/73(I believe) - or real close. . . Got cholesterol #’s - they are better than ever(must be the lack of tren in my diet) I dropped nearly 60 points

Unfortunately my sleep is still med assisted - but, I’m always making sure I get my 7 hours in

Dropped the Var - still on 150mg of deca + 200mg of Sust weekly + daily proviron of 25mg daily

Still looking huge af - now I’m just working away slowly on leaning the fuck out - waist is still 32”(actually a tad over)

[< <Samson> >]

Make it 100

[Mooseman33]

love the good updates.

keep them coming my brotha

[< <Samson> >]

love the good updates.

keep them coming my brotha

I don’t wanna jinx it(not like Jynx Maze kinda jinx it) - but, I been real good lately

It’s been almost 8 months, and I’m getting to a point where there are times I actually don’t notice anything bad - no more throbs, no more nothing - yet, my right leg is still a tad off/numb

But, I am getting used to it since it’s not really causing anything

Even my sleep is starting to feel more normal on a lot less meds


Knock on wood

[NiceGuyResearcher]

Sorry about this. Try to find reference points of people similar to your health situation. One person who had a couple of real bad health concerns was tv personality fmr. Navy officer, Montel Williams. He was diagnosed with Multiple Scerolsis (m.s.) and then like 2 years later almost had a fatal stroke that was stopped or diagnosed / treated in time. Also visualization which has been used since time memorial in bodybuilding would help. But you probably know that already. Visualization clearly in the mind (of good improving health before it occurs, then it will occur in reality.

[Test Monsterone]

It's really a miracle you are basically 100% after only 8 months... and maybe even better than you were before this whole thing happened. Jynx Maze dat ass.

[< <Samson> >]

Just passed 8 months

And, repping this today a 1/2 dozen times

Miracles? Well - I believe in em

[Cuz]

Good stuff man, feels great doesnt it

[< <Samson> >]

Good stuff man, feels great doesnt it

Fuck yeah!

Prob is everyone thinks I’m insane. . . But, I truly feel fine. No uncalled for pains, no strains - no fucking nothing - aside from me turning beet red for about 3-5mins after each set because I can’t breathe in this muzzle

Biggest complaint I have today is that I feel sore af - but, in the right places

But, after these self endurance/strength tests - I do think that I’m going to pull back. It’s not really necessary to pull this weight for me any more. . . It’s just a mental mind fuck of knowing that I can

After gym yesterday, I helped a neighbor move - the stairs were broken, so we’re walking a solid 1/8th of a mile in each direction

Again - I feel just fine. . . No headache, no pressures, no dizziness, no odd pains anywhere around my head - I am getting close to not having any odd sensations from the left side of my head about 75-80% of the time - the other 20-25% I still have light odd feelings, i.e. light throb - I wouldn’t even notice if I wasn’t paying this close of attention constantly


Yet, the rest of the folk in my recovery group are in pieces. Some with very serious deficits, some not so much. Many experience brain swelling which causes so many other issues.

One told me the other day, that I’m their inspiration & they hope to be where I’m at, some day - they have been recovering for a few years, I believe.

All of this stuff leaves me speechless most of the time. Maybe it’s a good thing, I finally listen to what people say.

[The Deadlifting Dog]

Truly inspirational.

What do the doctors say bout the weight lifting?

[< <Samson> >]

Truly inspirational.

What do the doctors say bout the weight lifting?

I mentioned it way back before on here, I believe

But, last I spoke to my neurosurgeon - balls out at 3 months - yet, follow your body

I specifically asked all of this stuff - on the roids, cialis/viagras, alcohol consumption & weight lifting - alcohol - sure(he seriously said sure), vasodilators - go for it man(again, verbatim), roids(I asked about specific compounds used to make our juice, BA & BB - he clearly understood) - no contradiction(verbatim, again) - weight lifting - well, we don’t get many or actually any like you - but, yes - you can lift full weight at 3 months post procedure. I told him what weight I lifted, he said that most likely it’d be a good idea to ease into it over time & just not grab over 400 pounds

I have the whole 20 minute conversation recorded on my phone. I also asked things like, exactly what was used, was there anything left behind(this was a tough procedure, in some cases catheters get left behind in the arteries). All that was used was multiple weights of embolization agent to fill the nidus of the dAVF) - no clips, no coils or shunts


I followed down to a T on what they recommended. I didn’t lift anything over 10-15 pounds for the first 3 months+. . . Then started with home weights since all the gyms were half assed or closed down.


On a serious note - “if” they did recommend putting the weights down, I would. It’s b hard af, but it’s not worth the risk - not in this stage of the game

But, I have been treated like no other dAVF patient I have come across. . . It’s years post trial phase, but it def seemed to me like they just want to see what I’m capable of. . . Let alone, this is all post a life time of small intracerebral hemorrhages -until this big one hit. I personally think this was my 3rd or 4th brain bleed - since the sensation seemed quite similar to the one that took me down


So yeah - to be typing this shit & seeing another day is nothing but amazing luck & nothing short of a miracle - let alone being back to where I was prior to this happening(actually better, but that’s tough to swallow after what I went through)




Might as well add this & not just keep making post after post on my own thread


Summer is coming & I'm still alive - so, back on my usual summer cycle:

Tren Ace(amazing looking shit) - 30mg EOD
Mast Prop - 40mg EOD
Sust at - 75mg EOD
Test Prop - 30mg EOD

All spot shot into my tri's



+ 25mg of Var daily & 25mg of Proviron daily

+ HCG



I might drop the sust all together & just crank the prop, but I like having a long ester in there in case I miss a shot or two

[< <Samson> >]

Thought I’d do a update, since I need to pass time while doing this here fasted cardio

Today is the 11th month anniversary of this happening. Head feels A+ 95% of the time, over the last month or two my gi issues have given me more trouble than my head.


I’ve had my first migraine - shit, these were a regular thing before - scary to get it tho, with the fear of it not going away - took a few Tylenols & took a nap - A ok


Blood pressure is something I watch very closely & it’s a bit all over the place. Like when I hit a hot tub twice & noticed I felt a tad off - check my BP & it’s barely over 90/50 - sat down, listened to the wife - had a bottle of cola, it bounced right back up

Now - I’m back to work full time(then some), working on mainly diesel rn in the 110 open air for at least 5 hours a day - last week has been intense, 10 hours a day minimum - then I hit the gym

So, I’m seeing a BP of about 150/80

Dropped the tren & mast - waiting to get on primo for another week or so. Still running the Var @ 50mg a day - dropped the Proviron < I just don’t need to be hornier atm

Dealing with a lot rn - I feel so thankful to be like this after all of this(to me personally, it feels nothing short of miraculous) - 11 months flew by like 2

Still focused on spending so much more time with my son - got him under these guys with me. He can only take a few hours at a time, since it’s hotter than hades outside where we work.

13 & one minute, I’m dragging him to the gym with me - 3 years to go

We have more work than what we know what to do with atm




And, I still get to look better than ever - or the same, whatever


Short fits the part quite well

[Bio-Active]

Man I’m glad to here you are doing good!!!

[< <Samson> >]

Man I’m glad to here you are doing good!!!

Well shoot, me too!

Sure didn’t look possible here a while back

[XnavyHMCS]

Great news, brother...!!!

*We all needed some uplifting info, after the untimely (tell me when it is ever timely) death of DS...
Pics look great.!!!

Never give up the ghost...!!!

[< <Samson> >]

Great news, brother...!!!

*We all needed some uplifting info, after the untimely (tell me when it is ever timely) death of DS...
Pics look great.!!!

Never give up the ghost...!!!

DS?

I’m not stopping until health stops me -

[TheChosen1]

Hang in there, bro, and keep making improvements. You got this!
Thanks to keeping us posted with the updates.

[almostgone]

Hang in there, bro, and keep making improvements. You got this!
Thanks to keeping us posted with the updates.

Damn, Chosen1, it's been a while, man! Good to see you drop in. Stop by more often.

[Booz]

Looking good mate and I bet your chest don’t look crap either,we are just so dam self critical!
push on and get shit done…..
Following your journey

[NiceGuyResearcher]

It's good that you're still neurologically intact

My mother 2 months ago went from her usual shaking hands to full on tremors, head shakes up and down left and right, makes drinking a cup of coffee or eating or even putting on make up / getting ready difficult which for a woman is tough, to say the least

My own hands always shook and I take a Klonipin 0.5 mg per day

My own chances of getting these, what's called "Essential Tremors," is 50 % but I am a Real big believer in Visualization, what the father of modern bodybuilding Joe Weider developed, God rest his Soul

and I enjoy the "now"

You're from AZ, brah? You're not the dude who drives up next to me in my hot rod and asks me if I want to sell it? LoL... from the Counting Cars" tv show (lol, Jk)

Keep focusing on improved health and not on avoiding bad health, focus on what you want, not on what you don't want - slight nuance there.

[< <Samson> >]

It's good that you're still neurologically intact


and I enjoy the "now"

You're from AZ, brah? You're not the dude who drives up next to me in my hot rod and asks me if I want to sell it? LoL... from the Counting Cars" tv show (lol, Jk)

Keep focusing on improved health and not on avoiding bad health, focus on what you want, not on what you don't want - slight nuance there.

Yes, being neurologically intact is quite nice - I mean seriously


“Enjoying the now” has a whole new meaning in my life - I thought I got it before, oh no - I def do now

Funny you say that - I’ve never heard of that show. But, yes - we hound people for their vehicle, especially the special rear specimens - good cars are hard to find & auto auctions are straight crap

I work myself to exhaustion every day now - it actually makes me forget about what happened & the odd feelings that still remain. . . Shit, another gym session coming up today

[< <Samson> >]

^ delete

Geez, the spam bot finds this place