Advice about my B-hole!!!

[slfmade]

That got your attention, didn't it. Haha

So I've got my first colonoscopy/EGD this coming Monday and I start my prep on Saturday. I've heard some literal horror stories about the prep and the resulting consequences placed on the ol butthole after sitting on the shitter and wiping your ass 4,000 times for 2 days straight. Any advice you guys can throw my way would be appreciated. I know we've got some old timers here they may had a few already or maybe a few of you get some hemorrhoids from time to time. What can I do to protect my delicate backdoor?

I've got some wet wipes. One old lady I work with ( yeah it was a weird conversation) said to get some quilted northern (apparently it's the softest) and start applying prep H from the get go instead of waiting til it gets bad. This makes pharmalogical sense so I'll probably do that. I'll probably avoid the Habaneros for a few days. Haha Any other tips? Thanks

[SampsonandDelilah]

No one knows this better than me brother...

Go get one of these. Fill it with warm water and squeeze away. That and a warm bath a few times a day.

[SampsonandDelilah]

Oh ya, and no pegging for the next 3 weeks

[*Admin*]

No one knows this better than me brother...

Go get one of these. Fill it with warm water and squeeze away. That and a warm bath a few times a day.

Best advice my doc ever gave me!!! (that bottle)

also bland soft diet throughout prep... small meals... drink plenty of fluids...

biggest thing is have magazine, book or laptop handy and sit on toilet and well the rest will come to you lol... at some point you will find getting off the toilet was not an option... just being real.. it is not bad at all just well not the norm...


btw be sure the wet wipes are for sensitive skin and or have aloe in them or they can burn like fire...

[Godzilla8]

Wet wipes, warm water & the knowledge that things will return to normal.

S & D, so happy that you recovered.

I’ll continue to sing this praise - those toilets/bidets that clean your butt. My wife suffers from h-roids and it’s a necessity for her. When I tried to add size and upped my diet & my toilet time increased, damn was that the cat’s pajamas!

[slfmade]

Oh ya, and no pegging for the next 3 weeks

Well, I've got to ask...what the hell is pegging? Nevermind. I'll just Google it.

[slfmade]

Oh ya, and no pegging for the next 3 weeks

Lol. Okay. I got it now. I'll tell the wife to return the strap on then. Will walmart take it back after it's been used. I'll call and ask. Hahaha. Exit only here...without exception. Well, except for the camera on Monday I suppose. I told my anesthesia to push double the "versed" because if I'm getting violated - I don't want to remember it.

[SampsonandDelilah]

Well, I've got to ask...what the hell is pegging? Nevermind. I'll just Google it.

Don’t google it on a company owned computer

[SampsonandDelilah]

Don’t gamble on any farts either. I found that out the hard way.

[slfmade]

Thanks for the help guys... I've got a shopping list. If I'm on the tiolet as much as I expect this weekend then I'll probably be pretty active on here. Just know, if we're talking, I'm probably cheeks spread and naked. How's that for a mental picture. Hahaha

[Godzilla8]

don’t google it on a company owned computer

lmao.

[SampsonandDelilah]

Thanks for the help guys... I've got a shopping list. If I'm on the tiolet as much as I expect this weekend then I'll probably be pretty active on here. Just know, if we're talking, I'm probably cheeks spread and naked. How's that for a mental picture. Hahaha

The prep itself is only one day. You drink the miralax over the course of a day. That day is brutal but you don’t have to worry all week leading up. Be prepared for post procedural pain. As admin pointed out, get there sensitive wipes free of chemicals, take baths and for fucks sake, get one of those rinsing bottles. I am well versed bro

[Charlie67]

biggest thing is have magazine, book or laptop handy and sit on toilet and well the rest will come to you lol... at some point you will find getting off the toilet was not an option... just being real... it is not bad at all just well not the norm...

Yes, a long one. Like Pride and Prejudice. Oh, sorry, I meant Arnold's encyclopedia of Bodybuilding.

Don’t gamble on any farts either. I found that out the hard way.

F'ing rolling, lol.

I was prepared to prattle off a long story about my exam, but clearly I'm a rank amateur in this group. It was a shitty experience nonetheless.

(See what I did there?)

Best of luck OP!

[slfmade]

Well colonoscopy and EGD is done. Everything was normal (both holes) which is a big relief. Now I've just gotta nurse my b-hole back to health.

The prep was pretty rough. Next time I'm gonna throw an NG tube down my nose/throat and administer the prep that way. I'm kind of pissed I hadn't thought about it before. And I may even get a dignicare (rectal tube) that we use on patients with C-diff and throw that up there. Between the 2, the prep would be easy and painless.

[almostgone]

Well colonoscopy and EGD is done. Everything was normal (both holes) which is a big relief. Now I've just gotta nurse my b-hole back to health.

The prep was pretty rough. Next time I'm gonna throw an NG tube down my nose/throat and administer the prep that way. I'm kind of pissed I hadn't thought about it before. And I may even get a dignicare (rectal tube) that we use on patients with C-diff and throw that up there. Between the 2, the prep would be easy and painless.

Take care of your b-hole. You're only issued one.

In other words, be kind to your behind.

Edit: Glad everything checked out well You should have a nice, shiny, clean system now.

[slfmade]

...edit

[slfmade]

Take care of your b-hole. You're only issued one.

In other words, be kind to your behind.

Edit: Glad everything checked out well You should have a nice, shiny, clean system now.

I'm not so sure about that. My southern momma constantly told me she would "rip me a new one" when I was younger. She was very convincing! Haha

Well, I hadn't eaten since Saturday morning. I did a two day prep. And since I couldn't drive after the procedure I rode into work with my wife, waited for my procedure, and walked back over to the break room afterwards...waiting for her to get off work now. So I step into the break room and there's 8 boxes of chocolate covered glazed donuts. I ate 4. Then one of the filipino anesthesiologists walks in with a shit load of Asian food. I ate about 9 egg rolls and a bunch of something else...not real sure what it was. So my colon was only nice, shiny, and clean for a bit before some Asian screwed it up. This all of a sudden sounds like a kinky lovebytes post. Lol

[SampsonandDelilah]

Well colonoscopy and EGD is done. Everything was normal (both holes) which is a big relief. Now I've just gotta nurse my b-hole back to health.

The prep was pretty rough. Next time I'm gonna throw an NG tube down my nose/throat and administer the prep that way. I'm kind of pissed I hadn't thought about it before. And I may even get a dignicare (rectal tube) that we use on patients with C-diff and throw that up there. Between the 2, the prep would be easy and painless.

Wimp...


Glad you’re ok bud

[almostgone]

I'm not so sure about that. My southern momma constantly told me she would "rip me a new one" when I was younger. She was very convincing! Haha

Well, I hadn't eaten since Saturday morning. I did a two day prep. And since I couldn't drive after the procedure I rode into work with my wife, waited for my procedure, and walked back over to the break room afterwards...waiting for her to get off work now. So I step into the break room and there's 8 boxes of chocolate covered glazed donuts. I ate 4. Then one of the filipino anesthesiologists walks in with a shit load of Asian food. I ate about 9 egg rolls and a bunch of something else...not real sure what it was. So my colon was only nice, shiny, and clean for a bit before some Asian screwed it up. This all of a sudden sounds like a kinky lovebytes post. Lol

Re:In bold above. I grew up in Alabama and SC and my mom told me the same thing. It wasn't a "tearing of a new one" as much as it was an enlargement of the old one via rippage.

She also told I had to walk a chalk line or I'd be picking up my teeth, but that shit ended when I was around 13 years old. My mom was about 5'1" tall and @ 13 years old I had enough reach to keep her at arm's length.

[slfmade]

Re:In bold above. I grew up in Alabama and SC and my mom told me the same thing. It wasn't a "tearing of a new one" as much as it was an enlargement of the old one via rippage.

She also told I had to walk a chalk line or I'd be picking up my teeth, but that shit ended when I was around 13 years old. My mom was about 5'1" tall and @ 13 years old I had enough reach to keep her at arm's length.

My mom is also about 5'1 and about 120lbs, but no matter how old I get she still scares the shit out of me - and I respect her all the more for it. But.....she truly defines bat shit crazy while being a good hearted, god fearin', gun totin, bible thumpin', tear your ass up if you do her family wrong kind of lady.

[BG]

After your first wipe put witch hazel on the toilet paper to clean afterwards. It’s the only active ingredient in Tucks.

[yeahbuddy289]

Can you aware me on the bottle?? I’m assuming it’s for douching out your anus?? Lol

No one knows this better than me brother...

Go get one of these. Fill it with warm water and squeeze away. That and a warm bath a few times a day.

[The Deadlifting Dog]

Can you aware me on the bottle?? I’m assuming it’s for douching out your anus?? Lol

It is used like a bidet.
You clean your ass with it and thus avoid friction from TP.

[flexin-rph]

Glad to hear everything "came out" ok.....God, I love telling my customers that when they pick up their bowel prep.

[slfmade]

After your first wipe put witch hazel on the toilet paper to clean afterwards. It’s the only active ingredient in Tucks.

Oh, I started right off the bat with prep H wet wipes with witch hazel and I'm not gonna lie...it was kind of nice. But after the 347th butt hydrant of a shit I took the skin finally broke and then the witch hazel might as well have been gasoline and a lit match. Burned like a son of a bitch!

[slfmade]

Glad to hear everything "came out" ok.....God, I love telling my customers that when they pick up their bowel prep.

I work with all the people that were involved in the procedure, believe me, I heard every pun imaginable up until the propofol hit. It's weird now though. Now, not only have many people I worked with seen me naked, several had an active hand in penetrating me! It's a damn good thing I was asleep.

[< <Samson> >]

1 - Pegging?! Oh my gawd, lol

2 - Can’t be all that worse than a gallbladder cleanse, I suppose. Apple juice for 3 days or so, a few tablespoons of epsom salt in a warm glass of water & you're, well - not ready for pegging for a week or 2


And - man, getting old is getting to be a bit of a drag

[BG]

Oh, I started right off the bat with prep H wet wipes with witch hazel and I'm not gonna lie...it was kind of nice. But after the 347th butt hydrant of a shit I took the skin finally broke and then the witch hazel might as well have been gasoline and a lit match. Burned like a son of a bitch!

Damn!!!!!

[< <Samson> >]

Y even wipe? seriously washing your ass after each time is where it’s at - although, I suppose if you don’t have the amenities

[slfmade]

Y even wipe? seriously washing your ass after each time is where it’s at - although, I suppose if you don’t have the amenities

Well, I tried that. But my brain couldn't get past the feeling that I wasn't clean back there. I mean, I knew I was, but there's something about when your ass crack is wet but the rest of your body is dry that just makes me feel like I didn't get it all. so I continued to wipe. I have decided that I'll for sure have a bidet that'll blowdry my asshole before my next colonoscopy rolls around.

[< <Samson> >]

Well, I tried that. But my brain couldn't get past the feeling that I wasn't clean back there. I mean, I knew I was, but there's something about when your ass crack is wet but the rest of your body is dry that just makes me feel like I didn't get it all. so I continued to wipe. I have decided that I'll for sure have a bidet that'll blowdry my asshole before my next colonoscopy rolls around.

I take a shower after every dump - it’s pretty nice. Def one of my reasons for loving being able to be on my own time.


Going back to ass paper is like sand paper on my ass hole now

[AwareXx]

more fluid and small frequent diet do help.

[< <Samson> >]

more fluid and small frequent diet do help.

I agree with this shit < lol

I’m a regular kinda guy, that “shit” is on schedule like no other - I don’t need my day fucked up while I’m shitting myself out of my mind


But, yeah - fuck tp

[slfmade]

I take a shower after every dump - it’s pretty nice. Def one of my reasons for loving being able to be on my own time.


Going back to ass paper is like sand paper on my ass hole now

Well, I would have drained the city reservoir had I taken a shower after every shit during that bowel prep. It was literally and I do mean literally 2-3 times every 10 min for over 3 hours. Why didn't I just sit there you ask...well, for me at least, I really had to be up and moving...otherwise my stomach would cramp like a son of a bitch. Plus I had to pour my new drink of nasty shit and I wasnt doing that in the bathroom.. that's just gross. So I was up a lot but only for short times before I was shitting again. It was like this

Min 0-1 = drink nasty shit
Min 1-2 = stand up and move..try not to puke
Min 3-4 = shit like a mofo, squirt water, wipe
Min 4-5 = stand up, oh fuck gotta shit again
Min 5-6 = clean up to stand up
Min 7-8 = pour my next 8oz of nasty shit...get interrupted by the need to shit.
Min 7-9 = finish shitting, wash and wipe my ass, finish pouring my next 8oz.
Min 10 = repeat horrid process over and over and over again.

[< <Samson> >]

Well, I would have drained the city reservoir had I taken a shower after every shit during that bowel prep. It was literally and I do mean literally 2-3 times every 10 min for over 3 hours. Why didn't I just sit there you ask...well, for me at least, I really had to be up and moving...otherwise my stomach would cramp like a son of a bitch. Plus I had to pour my new drink of nasty shit and I wasnt doing that in the bathroom.. that's just gross. So I was up a lot but only for short times before I was shitting again. It was like this

Min 0-1 = drink nasty shit
Min 1-2 = stand up and move..try not to puke
Min 3-4 = shit like a mofo, squirt water, wipe
Min 4-5 = stand up, oh fuck gotta shit again
Min 5-6 = clean up to stand up
Min 7-8 = pour my next 8oz of nasty shit...get interrupted by the need to shit.
Min 7-9 = finish shitting, wash and wipe my ass, finish pouring my next 8oz.
Min 10 = repeat horrid process over and over and over again.

Now, that sounds fun <


After what I been through I got that “shit” down - you don’t wanna sit too long at all - it’s bad for your ass hole. . . So, you gotta get creative

[slfmade]

Now, that sounds fun <


After what I been through I got that “shit” down - you don’t wanna sit too long at all - it’s bad for your ass hole. . . So, you gotta get creative

For real. I'm not fucking around next time. I'm gonna stick in a nasogastric tube and a rectal tube, walk around with my bag attached to my leg and call it day.

[< <Samson> >]

For real. I'm not fucking around next time. I'm gonna stick in a nasogastric tube and a rectal tube, walk around with my bag attached to my leg and call it day.

Oh, you medical folk - ya'll sure are somethin. . . . Lol


From all of my reading, what I gather - the recovery from this gastro ass flush isn't so awesome either


Ehh, couldn't be as bad as me after the embolization - Couldn't shit for a week from all the opiates, then the DMSO or whatever - oh man, now that's nasty "shit"


Lol