Dig Your Own Grave

[Fluidic Kimbo]

I posted a while back about how I had found my great great grandfather's grave in the West of Ireland, he died in 1899 and it's still the original headstone from 121 years ago. His wife is in with him too, as well as my great-grandfather and his wife, and then also the siblings of my grandfather. At the grave side I spoke to a man whose father is the first cousin of my own father, and he was telling me about how the graves were all dug by hand with shovels out there by members of the family.

And just last year I visited a graveyard in the East of Ireland where there was a small piece of land set aside for the local Catholic monastery. I had a look at some of the gravestones, and some of them had a person's name and date of birth on them, but not their date of death -- because they weren't dead yet. These graves belonged to the nuns living in the convent and it would become their final resting place.

So this all got me thinking. How weird would I be to buy a burial plot in a graveyard, dig down 6 foot by myself with a shovel, and then put up a headstone with my name and date of birth on it? I might live for another 60 years so I'd have to put a little cement at the bottom and then maybe put boards to keep the sides up.

A friend of mine died 13 days ago and he was buried 3 days afterward. I went to see his grave the very next day in the hope that I'd see the clay in a mound, but the grave looked like it had never been touched. His two parents were already in there, and the grave had removeable concrete slabs on top of it, so the undertakers didn't need to break concrete. They just moved the slabs away, took out a little clay, put another coffin in, put the clay back and put the slabs back. When they placed the pebbles back down on top of the concrete slabs it looked like it had never been touched. I wouldn't mind if mine could be done like that when I'm gone. All done in a few hours and let everyone get on with their lives.

[Honkey_Kong]

....

[META99]

Digging your grave or making your own casket is a kind of therapy. It helps you think on your mortality and appreciate/meditate about your time on earth


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[Fluidic Kimbo]

Digging your grave or making your own casket is a kind of therapy. It helps you think on your mortality and appreciate/meditate about your time on earth

Exactly this is one of the things I was going for.

Also it helps with being prepared for anything. I mean being prepared for your own death is a big one.

[almostgone]

That's one way to do it. The wife and I have a visit with the mortuary to review the details of our prepaid cremations.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

That's one way to do it. The wife and I have a visit with the mortuary to review the details of our prepaid cremations.

One of very few things in life that you can be 100% certain that it won't be a waste of money.

I realise we all have our own beliefs, but I think graves make it much easier for loved one's to continue on with their life. Since my friend died 13 days ago I've been at his grave every day to feel a few pebbles in my hand and to rub my fingers across his engraved named on the headstone. Then I go for a 5km run as I leave the graveyard.

I realise that having a person's ashes is helpful for immediate family who can keep them at home for a while perhaps before dispensing them in the sea, but I find that it excludes close friends. When there's a grave, anyone can stand at their friend's final resting place.

But of course there are beliefs in favour of cremation.

[almostgone]

One of very few things in life that you can be 100% certain that it won't be a waste of money.

I realise we all have our own beliefs, but I think graves make it much easier for loved one's to continue on with their life. Since my friend died 13 days ago I've been at his grave every day to feel a few pebbles in my hand and to rub my fingers across his engraved named on the headstone. Then I go for a 5km run as I leave the graveyard.

I realise that having a person's ashes is helpful for immediate family who can keep them at home for a while perhaps before dispensing them in the sea, but I find that it excludes close friends. When there's a grave, anyone can stand at their friend's final resting place.

But of course there are beliefs in favour of cremation.

Our ashes and the ashes of the mastiffs we've had cremated will be scattered on top of our mastiffs that we've buried.

[GirlyGymRat]

My sister was cremated and her ashes in an urn. She was first to explore this route.

I have no kids so no one would visit me and L
leaning towards cremation w/ ashes scattered in ocean. I see no reason to pollute landslide with headstones....nobody really cares in a few years.

[GirlyGymRat]

A little off topic. While home, visited family gravesite and there was a very new and unique headstone. It was a granite bench with info engraved on the side. An invitation to sit for a while and have a chat or spend some time.

[XnavyHMCS]

Personally, I am not the least bit concerned what or where my "lump of sexy flesh" ends up. It won't be my problem...

I am in favor of cremation, due to the space saving aspect.

Gotta agree with GirlyGymRat on her statement that after a few years nobody cares.

I can imagine that, whatever happens to the "soul" (if this in fact exists), mine we rear up, dust itself off and be like, "Fuck! That was a wild ride." Or perhaps more fitting would be to loosely quote the Beastie Boys, "if I knew it was gonna be this kinda party I woulda stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

[Honkey_Kong]

Personally, I am not the least bit concerned what or where my "lump of sexy flesh" ends up. It won't be my problem...

I am in favor of cremation, due to the space saving aspect.

Gotta agree with GirlyGymRat on her statement that after a few years nobody cares.

I can imagine that, whatever happens to the "soul" (if this in fact exists), mine we rear up, dust itself off and be like, "Fuck! That was a wild ride." Or perhaps more fitting would be to loosely quote the Beastie Boys, "if I knew it was gonna be this kinda party I woulda stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

I'm in favor of cremation for everybody else but me. I'd prefer to be in a mausoleum so that worms don't eat me.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

I have no kids so no one would visit me and L
leaning towards cremation w/ ashes scattered in ocean

I don't deny that some people get buried in the graveyard with a grass surface and a simple wooden cross, and then the grave is left like that, it never gets a proper headstone and nobody ever comes to visit. I don't deny that this happens in our world.

But human connection is unpredictable, and sometimes the depth of it does not become apparent until the other person dies. A guy in my church died about a month ago, and it was only after he died that I thought back on the small nods of his head he would give me after I spoke at prayer meetings, I didn't notice the subtle connection we had until after he died.

With regard to my other friend 'B' who died 14 days ago, well I've been at his grave each of the last 14 days. His parents' names are on the headstone and I wish they'd hurry up and engrave his first name on it. I'm not a relative of the deceased nor a childhood friend of the deceased, but I'm the person who visits his grave the most.

So even if you don't have kids, you don't know who you've touched and who has leaned on you. Somebody might have taken inspiration from you to get themselves through a tough time, and you might not have ever met the person; it could be a person you never chatted to at the gym, or someone who rented the same book as you from the local library. It could be a girl from school 20 - 30 years ago.

I was a friend to 'B' in life, and now I am a friend to 'B' in death. But this is a small part of our interaction, it will really be interesting the day I die.

The person who visits your grave the most when you're gone might be a stranger.

[Test Monsterone]

When I die, I hope my homies pour out some juice and throw me a couple of Anavars. Oh and a few arimidex so I don’t get puffy. Oh and a few cialis/ viagra so my dick works in heaven. Orange tic tacs, too, if they can spare it. When they discover me in 2000 years, it will say “...and herein lies a juice head...” and I will be shrouded in UGL and 5/8” 25 g needles with Excel syringes. I will be placed in a museum and labeled “homo sapien tremendous anabolectus.”

[Honkey_Kong]

When I die, I hope my homies pour out some juice and throw me a couple of Anavars. Oh and a few arimidex so I don’t get puffy. Oh and a few cialis/ viagra so my dick works in heaven. Orange tic tacs, too, if they can spare it. When they discover me in 2000 years, it will say “...and herein lies a juice head...” and I will be shrouded in UGL and 5/8” 25 g needles with Excel syringes. I will be placed in a museum and labeled “homo sapien tremendous anabolectus.”

Some juicehead's going to get wind that you're buried with all that gear and they're gonna rob you.

[NiceGuyResearcher]

What does God think about Cremation? off topic...or what do you think He would think about it?

[almostgone]

He says when we die we're done with this body. It goes back to dust. The spirit returns to the father. Which side of the gulf you are on depends on your life actions.

Ecclesiastes 12:7 documents this, but reading the whole chapter gives a better frame of reference.

[NiceGuyResearcher]

When I die, I hope my homies pour out some juice and throw me a couple of Anavars. Oh and a few arimidex so I don’t get puffy. Oh and a few cialis/ viagra so my dick works in heaven. Orange tic tacs, too, if they can spare it. When they discover me in 2000 years, it will say “...and herein lies a juice head...” and I will be shrouded in UGL and 5/8” 25 g needles with Excel syringes. I will be placed in a museum and labeled “homo sapien tremendous anabolectus.”

Abs are made in the kitchen" this humanoid made (partly) in the lab? lol

[kelkel]

I have no kids so no one would visit me and L
leaning towards cremation w/ ashes scattered in ocean. I see no reason to pollute landslide with headstones....nobody really cares in a few years.

G your comment made me immediatly think of this:

[Hughinn]

He says when we die we're done with this body. It goes back to dust. The spirit returns to the father. Which side of the gulf you are on depends on your life actions.

Ecclesiastes 12:7 documents this, but reading the whole chapter gives a better frame of reference.

Ecclesiastes is my favorite book of the bible.


On the subject thread though, I think I want to be buried face down, so I can tell the world to kiss my ass.

[Mooseman33]

When I die, I hope my homies pour out some juice and throw me a couple of Anavars. Oh and a few arimidex so I don’t get puffy. Oh and a few cialis/ viagra so my dick works in heaven. Orange tic tacs, too, if they can spare it. When they discover me in 2000 years, it will say “...and herein lies a juice head...” and I will be shrouded in UGL and 5/8” 25 g needles with Excel syringes. I will be placed in a museum and labeled “homo sapien tremendous anabolectus.”

if you die before me Im going to find ur grave and plant a maga flag there.

relax, im just kidding with you..i had to take the shot

[Fluidic Kimbo]

He says when we die we're done with this body. It goes back to dust. The spirit returns to the father. Which side of the gulf you are on depends on your life actions.

Ecclesiastes 12:7 documents this, but reading the whole chapter gives a better frame of reference.

A dead body is just an empty vessel. There is no life nor soul in there.

A sane person in a sane frame of mind can understand that a dead body is just an empty vessel, however when we are bereaved (and in particular when it's sudden), our grieving mind clings to things that we associate with the person. If the departed played a violin for 39 years, we will cling to the violin and cherish it. If they used a set of spanners for 42 years, we'll cling to the set of spanners. And with regard to their body, well they occupied it for their entire life, it was the greatest instrument they ever operated.

A grieving mind isn't as clear-thinking and sharp as a non-grieving mind. This is just one of a few reasons why we treat human remains with the greatest dignity and respect.

My ex-partner died 5 years ago, and one thing that has bothered me these past 5 years is that I didn't see her remains; she had been cremated by the time I heard she was dead. It would have made the grieving/mourning/shock process much easier for me if I could have touched her cold skin and said a few words.

As little or as much consideration we give to the proper treatment of a person's remains, we must move past it all. I like the lyrics of EmmyLou Harris's poem:

The wounds this world left on my soul,
will all be healed and I'll be home.

It don't matter where you bury it,
I'll be home and I'll be free;
It don't matter anywhere I lay,
All my tears be washed away.

Also sung by Ane Brun:

[NiceGuyResearcher]

I'm not too sure about cremation. You may want to study that from the 3 major religions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam (and also Buddhism), before arriving at a conclusion / decision? In my humble opinion, the body in major religions and schools of thought is like a temple for the Soul, so at which time does one mess with it or decide to "interfere" etc with it, and at which point is its God's decision. Should we interfere with the body temple" that's 1 of the reasons why suicide is frowned upon by most every religion.

[Test Monsterone]

if you die before me Im going to find ur grave and plant a maga flag there.

relax, im just kidding with you..i had to take the shot

Maga, what's what? Mothers AGainst Anal?

;-)

There's gonna be an abortion clinic on top of my grave with a shared bathroom and LGBTQ guards. Good luck getting in...

[almostgone]

I'm not too sure about cremation. You may want to study that from the 3 major religions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam (and also Buddhism), before arriving at a conclusion / decision? In my humble opinion, the body in major religions and schools of thought is like a temple for the Soul, so at which time does one mess with it or decide to "interfere" etc with it, and at which point is its God's decision. Should we interfere with the body temple" that's 1 of the reasons why suicide is frowned upon by most every religion.

Again, read Ecclesiastes 12, particularly verses 6 and 7

6 Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.

7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

Or, consider Luke 23:

39 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.

40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?

41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.

42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.

43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.

Just food for thought. Also, Reformed Judaism allows cremation, although it isn't their primary choice.

Personally, I don't think God is against it. Some people may not be financially able to pay for a burial or don't wish to pass the cost onto their children. What about someone that dies in a fire? I don't think God culls them out for that.

Just my observations. Everyone has to make their own choices.

[GirlyGymRat]

I'm not too sure about cremation. You may want to study that from the 3 major religions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam (and also Buddhism), before arriving at a conclusion / decision? In my humble opinion, the body in major religions and schools of thought is like a temple for the Soul, so at which time does one mess with it or decide to "interfere" etc with it, and at which point is its God's decision. Should we interfere with the body temple" that's 1 of the reasons why suicide is frowned upon by most every religion.

For Christians at death, soul leaves the body so we don’t need the body. The body isn’t a temple anymore....it’s an empty vessel.

Some ppl like to debate a timeframe after death. The Bible records 13 sightings. I’ve read 38 or 40 days.

[GirlyGymRat]

G your comment made me immediatly think of this:

I’ve never watched this...only clips. [emoji38]

[GirlyGymRat]

I don't deny that some people get buried in the graveyard with a grass surface and a simple wooden cross, and then the grave is left like that, it never gets a proper headstone and nobody ever comes to visit. I don't deny that this happens in our world.

But human connection is unpredictable, and sometimes the depth of it does not become apparent until the other person dies. A guy in my church died about a month ago, and it was only after he died that I thought back on the small nods of his head he would give me after I spoke at prayer meetings, I didn't notice the subtle connection we had until after he died.

With regard to my other friend 'B' who died 14 days ago, well I've been at his grave each of the last 14 days. His parents' names are on the headstone and I wish they'd hurry up and engrave his first name on it. I'm not a relative of the deceased nor a childhood friend of the deceased, but I'm the person who visits his grave the most.

So even if you don't have kids, you don't know who you've touched and who has leaned on you. Somebody might have taken inspiration from you to get themselves through a tough time, and you might not have ever met the person; it could be a person you never chatted to at the gym, or someone who rented the same book as you from the local library. It could be a girl from school 20 - 30 years ago.

I was a friend to 'B' in life, and now I am a friend to 'B' in death. But this is a small part of our interaction, it will really be interesting the day I die.

The person who visits your grave the most when you're gone might be a stranger.

I’m glad you made those connections.

[kelkel]

I’ve never watched this...only clips. [emoji38]

Watch it. Whole things hysterical.

[Honkey_Kong]

I’ve never watched this...only clips. [emoji38]

It's one of the best movies ever made.

[META99]

I don’t believe in God. Our carbons just return to the earth


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[Fluidic Kimbo]

I don’t believe in God. Our carbons just return to the earth


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Do you believe in Earth?

[META99]

Do you believe in Earth?

Yes


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[Fluidic Kimbo]

Yes


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As in nature, as a force? Like how some people say "mother nature"?

[META99]

As in nature, as a force? Like how some people say "mother nature"?

Explain. I am not sure what type of answer you are looking for...Do I believe in Earth? Yes I believe that the earth exists, as science has defined. I also Subscribe to exploration of space which has shown in a form and fashion that earth is there. Again without understanding the context of your question.


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[Fluidic Kimbo]

Explain. I am not sure what type of answer you are looking for...Do I believe in Earth? Yes I believe that the earth exists, as science has defined. I also Subscribe to exploration of space which has shown in a form and fashion that earth is there. Again without understanding the context of your question.

Do you think that there is some sort of force that is making the flowers bloom and the trees grow higher? Some people refer to this force as 'mother nature'. Some people think that it is mother nature that practices photosynthesis to use energy from the sun's electromagnetic waves to create and power things. Sames goes for the tide and waterfalls, some people think it's mother nature that's doing that.

[META99]

Do you think that there is some sort of force that is making the flowers bloom and the trees grow higher? Some people refer to this force as 'mother nature'. Some people think that it is mother nature that practices photosynthesis to use energy from the sun's electromagnetic waves to create and power things. Sames goes for the tide and waterfalls, some people think it's mother nature that's doing that.

Well, I believe in science that explains those things. I believe that matter, elements, gases and liquids of many types create certain energy. And those things create air and weather and soil conditions. The sun of course is also a factor of course. Life on earth was created by the elements that exist here. I don’t call it Mother Nature. Life on earth has been explained in science.


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[Fluidic Kimbo]

So do you see science as your creator? As the creator of all things?

[META99]

So do you see science as your creator? As the creator of all things?

Not science per se, but what is defined by science as a study


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[Fluidic Kimbo]

Not science per se, but what is defined by science as a study

Which begs the question:
Who or what is it that is doing this defining?

Are you simply referring to the people who figured things out, such as Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein, or are you referring to something else?

[META99]

Which begs the question:
Who or what is it that is doing this defining?

Are you simply referring to the people who figured things out, such as Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein, or are you referring to something else?

Yes. I suppose that’s the direction we can go. But many scientists have existed, and in time, have defined many things. Too many to even speak of in one conversation. That said, scientists are defining new things in space and time and molecules all the time. Even defined the beginning of earth.


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