I lied about the chinchilla part. Get over it. On a serious note though, I've gone and hurt my lower back somehow. I think I've traced the problem back to my over-sized wallet that I often sit on. It seems to have messed up my alignment some. I can trace the problem back even further to when I was a child and was viciously sodomized by a herd of wild geese. I can still hear their angry squawking on cold and lonely nights. Anyways, front squats yesterday seemed to have antagonized the problem and now I'm in pain. Nothing to be done for it but to lay off my back for a while. Oh yeah, and my boss has informed me that I can't listen to music while I work anymore. Next time she asks if I'll stay on past August, I'm going to staple her vagina closed.
Oh yeah, and I'm going to be rich too. I've come up with a great idea for a sitcom. I have no idea what the plot will be, it honestly doesn't even matter. What's important is that in every episode, girls with huge racks jumping up and down on a trampoline will somehow be worked into the plot. You know you'll tune in every week.