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  1. 09-04-2003, 06:50 AM #1
    KunipshunFit's Avatar
    KunipshunFit
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    Funny Newspaper Classifieds

    Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:


    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES. (His name is probably Pete)
    ----------------------------------
    FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
    -----------------------------
    FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
    ------------------------------
    GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
    -------------------------------------
    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE... BETTER BE A REWARD.
    -----------------------------------
    1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
    ----------------------------
    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
    -------------------------------
    COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
    -------------------------------
    NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
    -------------------------------------
    HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
    -----------------------------------------
    GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
    ------------------------------------------
    NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
    -----------------------------------------
    TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
    -------------------------------------------
    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS &BOX SPRINGS - $175.
    -------------------------------------------
    JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER &DRYER $300.
    ------------------------------------------
    ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
    -------------------------------------------
    OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE &DONUTS.
    --------------------------------------
    FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married

    last month.....Wife knows everything.
    ==============
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  2. 09-04-2003, 07:26 AM #2
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  3. 09-04-2003, 07:58 AM #3
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    Cows, Calves Never Bred... Also 1 Gay Bull For Sale.
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  4. 09-04-2003, 08:35 AM #4
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    I like the parachute!! pretty funny...
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  5. 09-04-2003, 09:10 AM #5
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  6. 09-04-2003, 09:26 AM #6
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    NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.

    Very funny stuff.
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  7. 09-04-2003, 09:34 AM #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by KunipshunFit
    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES. (His name is probably Pete)
    I'll take it!
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  8. 09-04-2003, 10:20 PM #8
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    NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.

    hope they cleaned it up. hehe
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  9. 09-05-2003, 11:21 PM #9
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    Funny!
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  10. 09-06-2003, 11:54 AM #10
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  11. 09-08-2003, 01:30 AM #11
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    That stuff's just too good! Thanks!
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