# Thread: The Thermodynamics of Hell

1. ## The Thermodynamics of Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor
wanted to share.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave - therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell since Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "... that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" - and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.

2. that is classic...i have heard so many midterm stories or college stories that it is difficult to remember the gist of all of them...i will do my best to dig some up since they are pretty funny/interesting.

3. This one a friend sent me, man, has to be like four years ago and I saved it, I save a lot of the jokes and funny stuff I find or have sent to me. By all means dig some stuff up big guy, if there is anyhting I love more than lifting it has to be laughing.

4. I have to admit, that's pretty good.

5. How about this one. Two years ago, Prof. weinstien (a writing professor at BU) chose "what is courage" as the topic for his final exam paper. You had 2 hours to write the paper, which only had to be 2 pages in length and you could use any material you'd read during the year for your arguments. One of the students turned in a paper with only the words "This is."

He got an A.

6. Posted by chrisAdams - Today at 01:53 PM
How about this one. Two years ago, Prof. weinstien (a writing professor at BU) chose "what is courage" as the topic for his final exam paper. You had 2 hours to write the paper, which only had to be 2 pages in length and you could use any material you'd read during the year for your arguments. One of the students turned in a paper with only the words "This is."

He got an A.
I want to go to that school! That is awesome!

The thermodynamics one is really good.

7. I'd also heard once that a professor had a single question test and the question was; Why?

One dude took all of about five seconds writing his answer, got up and turned it in while everyone else took their time to answer. As it turned out he was the only student to receive an A. His answer to the question..........................Because!

8. Productive Member
Join Date
Apr 2002
Location
long island new york
Posts
1,370
That was great but, the real answer to the question is hell is neither exothermic nor endothermic. There is no proof that an actual hell exist.

xxxl83

9. Funny stuff

10. Pardon me if I don't tell this correctly, but supposedly this story happened at Duke several years ago...

Two freshman had planned to go see a concert of a band they were dying to see the day before their chemistry midterm. While both had done some studying, neither were very prepared so the plan was that John (freshman #1) would drive down while Pat (freshman #2) studied and then they would switch for the ride home. Plans proceeded accordingly and they left to go to the concert.

They saw the concert and when it was over they partied with two girls they had met. John hadn't been laid for months so he said "Pat, I will do anything if we can stay at their place so I can get some ass." Pat was reluctant because they had to get back for the midterm, but John said they would just call the professor in the morning and say they were at a funeral and got a flat tire on the way back home, a seemingly foolproof plan.

They spent the night with the girls, both got some ass, and in the morning called their professor to explain the situation to him. He told them that due to their circumstances they could still take the exam, although it would differ considerably from the one given to the other students out of fairness. They said that would be fine and proceeded to drive home.

Both being bright kids, they felt that whatever the professor threw at them they would be able to handle no problem since it was just basic material. They arrived back at campus and went to the professor to get the exam, and he said "I have prepared a special exam for both of you so John, go down the hall and Pat, stay here. This will prevent any sharing of answers."

John goes down the hall to take his exam, puts his name on the paper, and sees a simple molarity calculation problem on the first page worth 10 points. The next question was worth 10 points and had to do with the periodic table. John easily answers both questions with a huge grin and thinks to himself "We really fooled this guy, what a relief that we got to take this makeup. Thank God he isn't as smart as we are." However, he turns the page and turns white as a ghost when he reads the last question of the exam, worth 80 points:

"What tire on the car was flat?"

Needless to say, both failed the exam.

11. Those have been around for quite a while, definitely funny though.

There's one i heard where is a psychology class, and every time the prof uses the left side of the chalk board, the whole class starts talking. So eventually after a while, the prof ends up standing in the right corner of the room on top of a garbage can or something like that.

BTW, xxxl83, it was a joke.

12. Originally Posted by HorseyGrl
I want to go to that school! That is awesome!

The thermodynamics one is really good.
That's why they call it "Backup University".

Ah, shit, i just had to hit him back in the open for all to see...he knows what I'm talking about.

13. That's good stuff.

14. Productive Member
Join Date
Apr 2002
Location
long island new york
Posts
1,370
Saboudian,

Thanks, for the insight.

xxxl83

15. hummm very interesting prospective...

#### Thread Information

##### Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

#### Posting Permissions

• You may not post new threads
• You may not post replies
• You may not post attachments
• You may not edit your posts
•