Guys...how to treat your spouse properly!
TREAT YOUR SPOUSE WITH CONSIDERATION
by BOB
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they
were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me
relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in
January, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra
income and for health benefits that we need.
She was a trained medical transcriptionist when we met twenty-eight years ago
and was fortunate to land a job at a local transcription house. It was
shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that she was beginning
to show her age.
I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home
from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that
she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to
yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I
understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me
when she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I
do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't
cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get
them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy used
to be able to go up and down stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is
older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she
just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of
this. As long as she finished up the laundry by the next evening I am willing to
over look it. If I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting
or to the Wednesday, or Saturday poker club or to the Tuesday or Thursday
bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to
do the ironing.
This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things
like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I had a really good day
fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you,
but just enough for me to notice.
For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay
the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I
continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or
even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her
that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know
what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than
she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a
break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I overlook comments like these because I realize its just age talking.
In fact, I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest
breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while. I even offer to have one with her, as she
may as well make one for me too, and take her break by the hammock so she can
talk with me until I fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from.
I know I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily
basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows
better than I how frustrating women can become, as they get older.
My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest you make the effort.
Achieving the exemplary level of consideration I have attained is out of
reach for the average man. However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a
little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was
worthwhile.
BOB
(Editor's note: Bob's funeral was on Saturday, Nancy was acquitted Monday.)
