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Thread: I am GOD

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    Talking I am GOD

    Well after some careful pondering, soul searching, deep thinking, and lack of sleep for 3-4 days now I have come to the conclusion that I am God. Not quite the status of the Almighty but close. Sure I don't posses most of his powers but I can put thoughts into people's minds. See I now have all of you thinking I've finally snapped and am now nuts. Well that is so far from the truth. It's all clear to me know.... I understand fully. I could try to explain the purpose of life but it is to complex for mortals to comprehend, sorry, that's just the way it is. As for prayers and worshipping go right ahead. Instead of Sundays though we'll make it on Thursdays, no one usually has plans for that day anyway and I don't need to offend the big man upstairs. As for prayers, I'm a bit busy and will respond in do time. Sacrifices are not necassary but if you so choose to do so, please feel free. As for offerings and gifts, please feel free to drop off any and AS at your local Big T's temple. Rewards of a richer fuller life will soon follow any offerings made. Well, that's all for now my mere mortals...... time to go get more coffee....

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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    Well after some careful pondering, soul searching, deep thinking, and lack of sleep for 3-4 days now I have come to the conclusion that I am God. Not quite the status of the Almighty but close. Sure I don't posses most of his powers but I can put thoughts into people's minds. See I now have all of you thinking I've finally snapped and am now nuts. Well that is so far from the truth. It's all clear to me know.... I understand fully. I could try to explain the purpose of life but it is to complex for mortals to comprehend, sorry, that's just the way it is. As for prayers and worshipping go right ahead. Instead of Sundays though we'll make it on Thursdays, no one usually has plans for that day anyway and I don't need to offend the big man upstairs. As for prayers, I'm a bit busy and will respond in do time. Sacrifices are not necassary but if you so choose to do so, please feel free. As for offerings and gifts, please feel free to drop off any and AS at your local Big T's temple. Rewards of a richer fuller life will soon follow any offerings made. Well, that's all for now my mere mortals...... time to go get more coffee....
    Sleep depravation is a son of a bitch isnt it...............

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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Sleep depravation is a son of a bitch isnt it...............
    Must be.............. I think we are losing him

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    Wake up Big Texan.....your dreaming again.....the bright light you have seen to make you come to this conclusion is merely headlights of an oncoming vehicle.....I have come to this conclusion as to your mental well being........

  5. #5
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    Someone get this guy a bed.

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    Sleep!?!?! Sleep!?!?! You fools, that is no longer needed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    Sleep!?!?! Sleep!?!?! You fools, that is no longer needed.
    Ow that's right.....your a god now and immortal....u don't need sleep.....well as I sit on my throne earlier I made a deposit to your local temple here.....all I can work up for now will add more tomorrow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bornbad71
    Ow that's right.....your a god now and immortal....u don't need sleep.....well as I sit on my throne earlier I made a deposit to your local temple here.....all I can work up for now will add more tomorrow.
    DAMN YOU!!!! Mocking me will get you no where!!!! We'll see when judgment day comes you petty fool!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    DAMN YOU!!!! Mocking me will get you no where!!!! We'll see when judgment day comes you petty fool!
    In petty...u referin to my house on wheels.......

    I like to think of it as D Day.

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    Hell...GOD Himself woudn't be up this late.

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    I can't get much sleep myself either. 4 hours a night for the last 3 nights.

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    Christ dude...get your self a fuckin bed!!!!

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    Sleeping is easy, when your BP isn't high.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calipso
    I can't get much sleep myself either. 4 hours a night for the last 3 nights.
    See it's that addiction u have to this board.....everytime u lay down your wondering if Da Bull is still posting.....this in turn is causing u to lose valuable sleep..........next u will start with dreams of AR members as u sleep as Bigol'legs has........there is no way for this to get out of your head......you are doomed to spend the rest of your life posting here...........that is the only cure.

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    I lost the post race w/Da Bull last week. Still doomed to be a senior member. ::Cries::

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    bornbad, calipso.... you whores quit using my thread to up your count.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    bornbad, calipso.... you whores quit using my thread to up your count.
    yeah you damn Senior members......

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    All hail Big T............or is that Awww hell Big T. I'll need clarification on that matter before starting my prayer list. And in regards to the sacrifice thingy, is it all right if I just use ants, flies and cockroaches........They won't let me near farm animals anymore, damn court order. Thursday's are good for me just as long as we're finished by 9:00 pm, my AA meeting starts about that time. Oh, one last thing........tithes..............can you see your way to let me give you IOU's for a while? The pyramid scheme I had going fell through........again.............damn court orders!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
    All hail Big T............or is that Awww hell Big T. I'll need clarification on that matter before starting my prayer list. And in regards to the sacrifice thingy, is it all right if I just use ants, flies and cockroaches........They won't let me near farm animals anymore, damn court order. Thursday's are good for me just as long as we're finished by 9:00 pm, my AA meeting starts about that time. Oh, one last thing........tithes..............can you see your way to let me give you IOU's for a while? The pyramid scheme I had going fell through........again.............damn court orders!
    Aaaaahhhh yes... you shall become my High Priest. Obey and ye shall be rewarded generously. Betray me and ye shall be punished, rendered disfigured as I have already done to Mass Junkie... but not quite as hideous.

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    You must be all powerful...............becoming self-aware and casting out your first demon in less than one day, impressive. And an excellent choice I might add as well.......................you know Mass-stofolies always said terrible things about you all the time. If you're planning a last supper don't invite that guy...........could be bad news. hahahaha

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    Oh my gosh....BigTexan has "made a funny"!! My boy grew up so quick and blossomed a sense of humor all his own.

    Btw, don't forget that if you're a god (false idol or otherwise) you should be able to finagle some tax exempt status this April.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    Aaaaahhhh yes... you shall become my High Priest. Obey and ye shall be rewarded generously. Betray me and ye shall be punished, rendered disfigured as I have already done to Mass Junkie... but not quite as hideous.
    Oh you mean the 12" cock that you gave me..........

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Oh my gosh....BigTexan has "made a funny"!! My boy grew up so quick and blossomed a sense of humor all his own.

    Btw, don't forget that if you're a god (false idol or otherwise) you should be able to finagle some tax exempt status this April.
    Poppa... *cough* I mean BG, I dubb you my churches Financial and Legal High Priest.... although I should cast you out, damn lawyers and lawyer wanna be ( ) are all as crooked as the devil himself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Oh you mean the 12" cock that you gave me..........
    inverted.... yes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    inverted.... yes.
    well you can just kiss it...........

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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    well you can just kiss it...........
    Oh hell no..... it hasn't seen soap and water in god, I mean Me knows how long.

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    If at all possible I'd greatly appreciate it if you could bless my tuna fish portion today.............it says it has only 20 grams of protein.............I'd really like one 3oz serving to equal 40 grams of protein. All green lights on the way home as well would be a nice touch.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
    If at all possible I'd greatly appreciate it if you could bless my tuna fish portion today.............it says it has only 20 grams of protein.............I'd really like one 3oz serving to equal 40 grams of protein. All green lights on the way home as well would be a nice touch.
    And so it shall be done..... *poof*... ok give it a minute, I'm still learning my new found powers. I either turned your tuna into 40g protein OOORRRRRRrr... just changed your co-worker into a chicken.... kinda happens from time to time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    And so it shall be done..... *poof*... ok give it a minute, I'm still learning my new found powers. I either turned your tuna into 40g protein OOORRRRRRrr... just changed your co-worker into a chicken.... kinda happens from time to time.
    DAMN Mark never looked better. But he didn't turn into a chicken...............more like a Cornish hen than chicken. Nice try though..............gotts work on those blessing there Big T. If you're not careful you'll put someones eye out. hahaha

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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
    DAMN Mark never looked better. But he didn't turn into a chicken...............more like a Cornish hen than chicken. Nice try though..............gotts work on those blessing there Big T. If you're not careful you'll put someones eye out. hahaha
    Are you taunting me???? Not good.... I'll make that rash you had last year re-appear.

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    Big Texan........I see I was wrong before and ask that u forgive me for all the stuff I have done against smaller weaker mortals. Like the bullie Mass Junkie is I have used them to do my bidding for many years. I would also like to be granted the power of lightning and thunder. I will continue to make daily deposites to your temple....in return I ask that I be granted a new power when needed. Do u have a book that I might read to get my daily fire burning and spread the work of the GREAT BIG TEXAN.

    OW do you take credit cards...I found one the other day and would like to help pay for your next cross-country mission trip. I will also be glad to lay hands upon any lost soul who doesn't respect your greater position.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bornbad71
    Big Texan........I see I was wrong before and ask that u forgive me for all the stuff I have done against smaller weaker mortals. Like the bullie Mass Junkie is I have used them to do my bidding for many years. I would also like to be granted the power of lightning and thunder. I will continue to make daily deposites to your temple....in return I ask that I be granted a new power when needed. Do u have a book that I might read to get my daily fire burning and spread the work of the GREAT BIG TEXAN.

    OW do you take credit cards...I found one the other day and would like to help pay for your next cross-country mission trip. I will also be glad to lay hands upon any lost soul who doesn't respect your greater position.
    bornbad71

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    Quote Originally Posted by bornbad71
    Big Texan........I see I was wrong before and ask that u forgive me for all the stuff I have done against smaller weaker mortals. Like the bullie Mass Junkie is I have used them to do my bidding for many years. I would also like to be granted the power of lightning and thunder. I will continue to make daily deposites to your temple....in return I ask that I be granted a new power when needed. Do u have a book that I might read to get my daily fire burning and spread the work of the GREAT BIG TEXAN.

    OW do you take credit cards...I found one the other day and would like to help pay for your next cross-country mission trip. I will also be glad to lay hands upon any lost soul who doesn't respect your greater position.
    Although I enjoy the worshipping, the blunt ass kissing disturbs me. As for special powers, I'll take it into consideration. using Mass Junkie for unspeakable acts are permitted. A book shalle be released in do time, be patient my disciple. Train hard and stay focused for I may call upon you to help do my bidding against those that dare to ignore my goddliness. My future cross-country-ass-kicking crusade is going as planned. You may join your fellow soldiers, Jugg, Mass, and a few others in this quest... I get to throw the first lightning bolt though.... that sorry SOB won't even see it coming.

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    Yeah let born lay hands on those types for you................I'd like to lay my hands on some women. Just one would do the trick. If I get to pick could it be Cutieface? I'll double this weeks donation!

    J/J Cutie (just in case she reads this............gettin my a$$ kicked by a woman is so degrading............although it might be worth it). hahahaha

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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    bornbad71
    Now why you want to do me like that........

    Just wait til I get my lightning powers.

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    Might I plan the tour for ya BT....I know a town just south of me that needs some real soul changes.

    Jugg......a woman kicking your ass is not good.....but if u let her spank u then u might enjoy that.......

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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
    I'd like to lay my hands on some women. Just one would do the trick. If I get to pick could it be Cutieface? I'll double this weeks donation!

    J/J Cutie (just in case she reads this............gettin my a$$ kicked by a woman is so degrading............although it might be worth it). hahahaha
    Bribery will get you no where. As for CutieFace.... she's off limits to all. She is a Goddess here in Big T's temple. You may worship her as well. There are a few other Gods, Goddesses that will appear in time. Now if she should choose to toy with you mere mortals, that is her choice. As for your wish to lay thy hands upon women.... I'll have to find a few that deserve to be punished....

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    This thread scares me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calipso
    This thread scares me.
    Fear is for the weak..... you admitting to being weak? Don't be scared, just follow the masses towards the light my child.

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    Hey Bt what part of texas did you say you were from again? Waco? lmao............Is your last name karesh?.....lmao

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