Thread: I am GOD
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11-04-2003, 12:28 PM #1
I am GOD
Well after some careful pondering, soul searching, deep thinking, and lack of sleep for 3-4 days now I have come to the conclusion that I am God. Not quite the status of the Almighty but close. Sure I don't posses most of his powers but I can put thoughts into people's minds. See I now have all of you thinking I've finally snapped and am now nuts. Well that is so far from the truth. It's all clear to me know.... I understand fully. I could try to explain the purpose of life but it is to complex for mortals to comprehend, sorry, that's just the way it is. As for prayers and worshipping go right ahead. Instead of Sundays though we'll make it on Thursdays, no one usually has plans for that day anyway and I don't need to offend the big man upstairs. As for prayers, I'm a bit busy and will respond in do time. Sacrifices are not necassary but if you so choose to do so, please feel free. As for offerings and gifts, please feel free to drop off any and AS at your local Big T's temple. Rewards of a richer fuller life will soon follow any offerings made. Well, that's all for now my mere mortals...... time to go get more coffee....
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11-04-2003, 12:33 PM #2Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
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11-04-2003, 12:39 PM #3Originally Posted by mass junkie
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11-04-2003, 12:41 PM #4
Wake up Big Texan.....your dreaming again.....the bright light you have seen to make you come to this conclusion is merely headlights of an oncoming vehicle.....I have come to this conclusion as to your mental well being........
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11-04-2003, 12:44 PM #5LORDBLiTZ Guest
Someone get this guy a bed.
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11-04-2003, 12:46 PM #6
Sleep!?!?! Sleep!?!?! You fools, that is no longer needed.
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11-04-2003, 12:49 PM #7Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
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11-04-2003, 12:52 PM #8Originally Posted by bornbad71
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11-04-2003, 01:00 PM #9Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
I like to think of it as D Day.
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11-04-2003, 01:03 PM #10
Hell...GOD Himself woudn't be up this late.
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11-04-2003, 01:04 PM #11
I can't get much sleep myself either. 4 hours a night for the last 3 nights.
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11-04-2003, 01:07 PM #12
Christ dude...get your self a fuckin bed!!!!
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11-04-2003, 01:12 PM #13
Sleeping is easy, when your BP isn't high.
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11-04-2003, 01:14 PM #14Originally Posted by Calipso
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11-04-2003, 01:19 PM #15
I lost the post race w/Da Bull last week. Still doomed to be a senior member. ::Cries::
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11-04-2003, 01:22 PM #16
bornbad, calipso.... you whores quit using my thread to up your count.
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11-04-2003, 01:25 PM #17Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
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11-04-2003, 01:34 PM #18
All hail Big T............or is that Awww hell Big T. I'll need clarification on that matter before starting my prayer list. And in regards to the sacrifice thingy, is it all right if I just use ants, flies and cockroaches........They won't let me near farm animals anymore, damn court order. Thursday's are good for me just as long as we're finished by 9:00 pm, my AA meeting starts about that time. Oh, one last thing........tithes..............can you see your way to let me give you IOU's for a while? The pyramid scheme I had going fell through........again.............damn court orders!
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11-04-2003, 01:40 PM #19Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
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11-04-2003, 01:47 PM #20
You must be all powerful...............becoming self-aware and casting out your first demon in less than one day, impressive. And an excellent choice I might add as well.......................you know Mass-stofolies always said terrible things about you all the time. If you're planning a last supper don't invite that guy...........could be bad news. hahahaha
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11-04-2003, 01:48 PM #21
Oh my gosh....BigTexan has "made a funny"!! My boy grew up so quick and blossomed a sense of humor all his own.
Btw, don't forget that if you're a god (false idol or otherwise) you should be able to finagle some tax exempt status this April.
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11-04-2003, 02:01 PM #22Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
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11-04-2003, 02:03 PM #23Originally Posted by BigGreen
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11-04-2003, 02:04 PM #24Originally Posted by mass junkie
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11-04-2003, 02:08 PM #25Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
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11-04-2003, 02:21 PM #26Originally Posted by mass junkie
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11-04-2003, 02:22 PM #27
If at all possible I'd greatly appreciate it if you could bless my tuna fish portion today.............it says it has only 20 grams of protein.............I'd really like one 3oz serving to equal 40 grams of protein. All green lights on the way home as well would be a nice touch.
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11-04-2003, 02:25 PM #28Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
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11-04-2003, 02:40 PM #29Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
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11-04-2003, 02:44 PM #30Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
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11-04-2003, 03:28 PM #31
Big Texan........I see I was wrong before and ask that u forgive me for all the stuff I have done against smaller weaker mortals. Like the bullie Mass Junkie is I have used them to do my bidding for many years. I would also like to be granted the power of lightning and thunder. I will continue to make daily deposites to your temple....in return I ask that I be granted a new power when needed. Do u have a book that I might read to get my daily fire burning and spread the work of the GREAT BIG TEXAN.
OW do you take credit cards...I found one the other day and would like to help pay for your next cross-country mission trip. I will also be glad to lay hands upon any lost soul who doesn't respect your greater position.
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11-04-2003, 03:36 PM #32Originally Posted by bornbad71
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11-04-2003, 03:39 PM #33Originally Posted by bornbad71
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11-04-2003, 03:40 PM #34
Yeah let born lay hands on those types for you................I'd like to lay my hands on some women. Just one would do the trick. If I get to pick could it be Cutieface? I'll double this weeks donation!
J/J Cutie (just in case she reads this............gettin my a$$ kicked by a woman is so degrading............although it might be worth it). hahahaha
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11-04-2003, 03:42 PM #35Originally Posted by mass junkie
Just wait til I get my lightning powers.
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11-04-2003, 03:46 PM #36
Might I plan the tour for ya BT....I know a town just south of me that needs some real soul changes.
Jugg......a woman kicking your ass is not good.....but if u let her spank u then u might enjoy that.......
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11-04-2003, 03:47 PM #37Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
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11-04-2003, 03:47 PM #38
This thread scares me.
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11-04-2003, 03:49 PM #39Originally Posted by Calipso
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11-04-2003, 03:49 PM #40
Hey Bt what part of texas did you say you were from again? Waco? lmao............Is your last name karesh?.....lmao
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